( OOC mentions of child neglect )
Im forgetting your faces , they always told me I looked like you, How could I know? every interaction was a struggle with you… that is something I never want to go back to.
Do you really think because you claimed you cared about progress that it absolves you of jackshit?? that you somehow are forgiven on some stupid basis of doing the bear minimum?
I cant even claim that
the bear minimum is food and shelter.
Wyeth had never told anyone that he was gay. There hadn’t been anyone to tell. No one had asked or shown any interest in his inner life at all …
Brandon Taylor, from Minor Black Figures
Missing is a pain
in everyplace
making a toothache
out of a day.
But to miss something
that never was :
the longest guilt
the regret that comes down
line a fine ash
year after year
is the shadow of what
we did not dare.
All the days that go out
like neglected cigarettes,
the days that dribble away.
How often does love strike?
We turn into ghosts
loitering outside doorways
we imagined entering.
In the lovers’ room
the floor creaks,
dust sifts from the ceiling,
the golden bed has been hauled away
by the dealer
in unused dreams.
- Marge Piercy
I’m 35F and my boyfriend is 39M. We were together almost 3 year on and off..
I’m looking for outside perspectives on a situation that escalated very quickly and harshly and left me super confused.
On Saturday morning, I suddenly saw posts on social media showing bombing and realized there had been a military attack involving my home country (Iran). My entire family lives there, and in situations like this the internet is often cut off. At that moment, I couldn’t reach any of them.
I live abroad and don’t have family here. I panicked, and my first instinct was to call the only person I have here my boyfriend.
When I told him what was happening, he stayed completely silent on the phone for several minutes. He didn’t say anything at all. The silence made me feel even worse, so I eventually said “okay” and hung up the call.
After hanging up, I sent him a message out of frustration, saying that this was exactly the kind of situation he is taking coaching courses for. A few minutes later, he sent a long message saying he couldn’t imagine how bad the situation must be, that he hoped my parents would contact me soon, and expressing concern.
Because the contrast between his complete silence during the call and the long, empathetic message afterward felt very strong to me, I told him that the two reactions didn’t match for me and that it was hard for me to understand how he could suddenly write such a long message after saying nothing on the phone.
Later when I explained how much the silence during the call had affected me and how alone it made me feel, the conversation escalated. His messages became passive-aggressive and focused on blaming me for being disappointed by his reaction.
Even the next day, his messages were still very unusual compared to how he normally communicates they felt hostile, blaming, and attacking and Because I knew he had an important exam that day and was also concerned by the sudden change tunem I tried calling him to ask if everything was okay.
He didn’t answer my calls and told me that he didn’t need “fake care.”
After that, he repeatedly said that he can’t provide what I need, that he can’t fight or argue anymore, that whatever I need he can’t give.. and that he is not adding any value..??
When someone tells you that they don’t care about you and can’t give you what you want, believe them. You deserve better than this lazy, mean dickhole. Please consider breaking up.
I hope you’re family is okay. That is terrifying, and I’m sorry.
Its crazy how so so many teens showing clear signs of mental distress are ignored by their parents because they are either simply just not involved in their life and don’t care what they get up to as long as it doesn’t hurt their reputation or just think they are doing it out of pure spite to annoy them. Like how much ego and neglect does it take to think that your child is just making it all up to punish you?
I’ve been living with a burden only my Mom notices in my life because when I bring it up with other people it is boring to them. When it happens its very depressing in an otherwise pleasant happy relationship.
I’ve been married to my husband for almost exactly 6 years now since we just had our anniversary. And after we returned from our happy romantic day together I noticed he became grumpy and he prepared for his work week by relaxing and playing video games.
This is a pattern which has continued increasingly for 6 years. Everything seems perfect and normal, until my husband becomes sick at increasing amounts for no reason. He begins to vomit, slur his words, and stumble when he walks. He becomes grumpy and agitatedand his eyes ar red. Everyone gets sick once in awhile but he get incapacitated when this identical set of symptoms and pattern begins. It can last 3 or four days sometimes with himself totally incapacitated in bed, unable to drink water or eat food and passed out in bed always face down. He consistently is face down as if he can’t even climb into bed, with his legs hanging over EVERY TIME for 6 YEARS. I try to speak to him to find out what’s wrong but he can hardly speak When he’s sick. This is a terrifying experience for me I try to keep my worry to myself so he doesn’t be disturbed but it’s very freigteningnsince it happens more and more frequently.
And I frantically try to care for our 3 dogs and cook meals and do things that needs to be done on top of my buisy schedule. I am responsible for a lot in my life and my husband being this sick with a MYSTERY illness just worries me so much. My doctor has advised me he should visit his doctor. Sometimes he gets txts from his job asking him if he’s working for the day which he does from home and I never know what to tell them since it’s his phone and heath.
Then all of a sudden after he recovers I ask him what he was sick about. he doesn’t really answer me. but it’s strange it keeps happening Like he’s developing a chronic illness every 4 weeks or so. I’ve thought once or twice perhaps he drank too much while playing games but this happens so often and I’ve only ever discovered a secret stash of booze a few times in all the 12 years together. I’ve seen him change from well to sick in front of my eyes without drinking booze or doing drugs.
the lack of communication is very frustrating because essentially this sickness has become an off limits topic In the relationship. He either remains silent when I ask him questions when he’s able to speak. also he can become angry insisting nothing is wrong.
I have a lot happening in my life right now between work and family and such and it hurts me when it comes a time I need him to be supportive he has a MYSTERY illness and I don’t even know what it could be. Also he is very messy and can actually spill drinks and he stops showering. We were supposed to try to have a baby we agreed.
How can I communicate the misery this mystery illness causes and copewith being in this situation? It’s making me so depressed and it effects my life outside of just when I’m at home. It pains me he doesn’t have any worry for his health at all. This could be some illness he should be getting care for. And he has health insurance but rarely uses it except for his chiropractor Once a year. it seems like he is fine with just dying without any concern about this seemingly life or death situation.
I don’t understand why you don’t just call an ambulance or drive him to the ER when this happens??? It’s been six years, and it leaves him incapacitated. I would think calling for help would be most people’s reactions? I’ve had people call help for me when I was speaking and capable of telling them I didn’t want help. I can’t imagine just sitting by with someone completely incapable of taking care of themselves and just shrugging my shoulders. ? It’s really concerning you’re so overwhelmingly terrified of your husband that you feel paralyzed from fear and incapable of getting him help and you end up just sitting by wondering if he might die. For SIX YEARS. Do you need help getting out??? Why are you so afraid to act here? Please, help me understand.
Getting upset with my friend for being a shitty pet owner.
Like I know my harping on “every little thing” about cat care can be annoying, but like, you can’t leave open wounds on your cat for a year without vet care.
So, Mama took you by the neck and threw you down the stairs. They say that mother cats take their kittens by the scruff to carry them but she only carries you when she has something she wants to get, and doesn’t bother with bearing the weight if she can toss you about like a ball of yarn. Down you went, your head bumping on the ledge of every step, and the too-sharp edges of the reverse climb hit the center of your skull and your nose and your neck and your funny-bone, both ends of your shoulders, knees and the tips of your toes. Bone shatters too.
On the floor you’ve got nothing but time to think but the thinking’s filled with blood. You can taste it in your mouth, from the fall and from the bursting of your tongue every time you bite down on grief, from the fact that Mama hasn’t fed you in a long while. Usually it’s up to you to scrape by for yourself. There’s flour in the pantry but she won’t teach you how to bake bread unless it’s for guests. There’s roaches in the corners, rats in the walls, opportunists who will outlive the end of the world and love a good wood-rotted advantage. Sometimes you get the buried leftovers at the back of the fridge. Sometimes it’s roach meat and you can feel the sickness inside, writhing like it were the thing still alive, wracking your insides.
There’s no free lunch in Mama’s house. On Fridays and Saturdays and Sundays when she dresses you up to be read the holy book she smothers you in starched cloth, all white and ironed, cleanest piece of fabric you’ve ever owned, and through the smothering that compacts your chest and tingles your limbs into sleep and stifles your voice, you suck on the fibers and dream of a meal warm and clean and without the sound of men telling you that it’s the basement or the attic and never the ground floor. They don’t mention the door.
(½)
This is a follow-up for my last post:
Seems the people running Tumblr don’t care if the users fall for scams. This is NOT how this life of situation to be handled.
Relias Abuse Neglect Of Individuals With Autism Practice Questions And Answers
Relias: Abuse & Neglect of Individuals with Autism - Practice Questions and Answers
& when my time here is up I hope people remember how big my heart was. How strong I remained even through the scariest times.
My light never faded…never dimmed.
*Has nightmare that is clearly about being neglected*
Wakes up: “To be fair, have I ever been Glected?”
Im trying so hard to get this house prepared for yet another kid (im a pregnant 29 year old female). Make things nicer and cleaner but the minute I turn my back on things ive just recently cleaned its dirty again. And when I ask my 20F sister and 31M partner (we’ve been together for 2 years and already share one child) if they could clean up after themselves, and thier animals, im given attitude excuses or complaints. I had to do the cat litter last week which hadnt to, my surprise, been done in WEEKS. It was so bad. I asked sister to do it that night before I did it and I got told “I dont feel like it” same with partner (they each have thier own cats). The cats were peeing everywhere else in the house because of it. partner says he does everything in the house.
Dude feeds and waters the pets (ours only), “watches” his kid but really hes just sleeping or gaming and not paying her any attention. He does the suppers and most meals and dishes on his own. But there’s a lot of stuff I do and step up on that aren’t ever recognized. But when it comes to him being recognized, he says he never is. I just sit here quietly half the time and keep to myself. I feel like im fighting a losing battle here. Theres so many chores the whole household should be contributing on but my sisters excuse “I never leave my room” is so over played, theres messes that she contributes to in the common areas of the house that im stuck cleaning up.
Its so incredibly frustrating listening to my partner bitch about the house being messy but never doing anything about it, incredibly frustrating cleaning up after people or doing things I really shouldn’t be doing because other people cannot be bothered. I dont want my kids living in squalor and disorganization. Im supposed to be on bed rest. I shouldn’t even be doing ANY of this. Theres absolutely no consideration. I cant even afford to just move out to a new place and start over, because my partner wont sit even for an hour a day and apply for jobs. This isnt what my kids deserve.
Neither of them, sister or partner, know I sit and cry in the bathroom when I go, because it wouldn’t make a difference. I feel like im absolutely drowning and I bring that up with my partner and he just smirks at me and says “welcome to my life”, mind you im financially supporting him myself and the kids on my own, as well. Im on disability due to actual physical disabilities, which may not last past June this year. I’ve not a clue how my csection healing is gonna go or if im gonna have any support (I was promised that a job and support would come, from both my sister and my partner). My mental health is getting bad again. To the point where im getting small psychosis-like symptoms which hasn’t happened in years and im worried its gonna get worse. I dont feel safe anymore. AITO for getting angry with these two and feeling like I’m being failed?
my sister does pay room and board which is helpful to an extent, but thats all she really does.
is there anything I can do here to make lives easier and drama free for everyone involved?
You are fighting a losing battle. Here’s some things you can do instead:
If you have been able to support you, your children, your sister, and your husband? I PROMISE, you are more than capable of “starting over” without the leeches.
We identify with litter runts a lot, their circumstances don’t match up 1-1 with ours but there’s a lot in common with ours regardless.
Neglect //
[[MORE]]Firstborn of our siblings and the smallest by far (from the start and now), disabilities and other health issues like not being able to regulate body heat well, competing for resources, being both at more of a disadvantage and having to fight more to get them, was underweight/struggled to keep healthy weight for majority of our lives, family pays more favorable attention to larger and healthier siblings/rejected us the more our issues became obvious, isolating self away from rest of “litter”, needs help from others outside family to thrive…
Warnings Ignored Before Three Santa Clara County Child Deaths
Warnings Ignored Before Three Santa Clara County Child Deaths
