#vent

tbh i don’t get why pplwant others to live (as in the trying to get ppl not to… ahem)

like…. we all die anyway so whats the harm in cutting ur life short? Sometimes i think that life would be better if people (by people i mean ME im not trying to make anyone to kts bc you all have valuable lives while i dont so its natural for me to have these thoughts is it not..?)

(+ for me death is really scary and i hate how you can easily pass on at any minute so knowing that youre gonna… well because YOURE the one doing it to urself seems kinda comforting in a way)

(obviously i dont want to stay in this mindset forever so resources would help A LOT)

he calls me *his rockstar*

i feel like one when he looks at me

he’s healing my scars

he makes me live in a fantasy

Seemingly a point less made on misophonia is when someone you care about triggers it, but can’t help it. Think autistic stims and tics. I feel so guilty that some of them can trigger my misophonia. The person can’t help it, and neither can I help how it affects me. It’s all about mutual communication and understanding, but god does it make me sad!

not to vent constantly but why is it so fucking hard to get your life together?

i wanna lose weight, and i know that means exercise and healthier eating, but my chest is so big that nothing holds them properly, they spill out of binders/sports bras/etc constantly, and buying healthier food is expensive when we have such a painfully small budget, so that means i need to find a way to make money, so i’m trying to start art commissions, but i basically do everything around the house since i’m the unemployed one and he works, and he’s busy even when he’s not working, so i have to do the chores and pet care and making food, and when i’m not doing any of that i’m so tired that i need to take time to just sit and breathe, and then my whole day is gone and the cycle repeats.

what the fuck am i supposed to do here?

Sometimes I write lyrics and have to step back because I sound too much like I did at 15

It might be just me but is there REALLY any thing to live for

Gon cry my guts out my math grade is a 91. A 91. A 91 is crazy bro. I shoudve done my homework. Fuck im gonna get killed

Really sad today

A bunch of my best friends stopped being friends with me due to a miscommunication

They were all upset at me for things I did that I didn’t know upset them because they never told me

I really like these people but I’m very hurt that they all got upset at me

It feels like they ganged up on me because not even a week ago we were all on great terms but they met with each other without me and now hate me

Lowkey cried so hard that my nose is raw and my eyes burn

I haven’t been feeling so well, I don’t know what to do I don’t want to eat anymore, I can’t keep masking enthusiasm like this, it hurts a lot. I can’t stop crying and everything hurts and I don’t know why I’m like this right now but I feel the need to cause damage to myself because I don’t think I deserve anything else but that, I hate feeling this way but it’s not good at all. I have never felt like this before and I don’t know what to do, I’m so sorry.

Asking for one (1) Rozen dream. As much as I love having dreams every night where I’m close to my rapist and I forgive her for the decade of abuse I kinda would like to kiss my boyfriend instead

i don’t know what to do it hurts so much i can’t sleep i feel like i’m being burnt alive i can’t breathe right or think straight i don’t feel like a person i would rather feel numb than this

the way you treat me makes me so angry

yeah no it’s obvious im at a bad point which is irreversible and ive been going through this problem for nearly a year

and I can’t be good.

there’s always someone better than me.

Mad and overstimulated as all hell and these kids won’t stop singing the most godawful yassified version of Creep I have Ever Fucking Heard

I will not tell these kids to Shut Up bc that is Mean but girl if you submit that for an assignment you WILL fail. Completely missed the point of the song go try again.

I think it’s great how a combination of OCD and childhood neglect can lead to me sitting around and hating myself for no particular reason.

This is a pattern that’s been ingrained in me for a long time. Ever since childhood, I wanted to know why my parents fought, why my dad yelled and hit me, why my mom didn’t want to play with me and why my brother seemed so angry at me.

I felt wrong, I felt like it was my fault.

Now, that manifests everyonce in a while by feeling like I’ll never be good enough for anyone.

I’m a flat quiet abused individual who struggles to feel like she has any worth at all, sometimes even struggling with a sense of self.

Other times, I’m okay. I can accept that I’m loved and valued, cared for. That people like me and want me around for more than just something to laugh at.

Right now, I’m not. And I think today will simply be hard.

tw vent

I wish I had a cute update to bring but I don’t.

my friend group is quite literally falling to pieces, I only have three people left.

[m] is constantly making fights and turning everything toxic and we don’t want to associate with her due to her once being abusive towards me.

[r] she is constantly blowing us off and leaving any group we invite her in and doesn’t even want to talk to us.

[b] she overdosed and is now in the hospital and I don’t even fucking know if she’s alive.

all I have is those two and one is too scared to let go of [m].

I just kind of can’t deal with anything anymore I wish this was all just a fever dream, now my friendships of 5 in a half years are gone.

one day money won’t be a problem

if he kills himself im going next

Taking distance from a friend who were the closest to you is so hurtful but also apparently she doesn’t care so i’m suffering in vane. Maybe we really are greg and robert after all

I still get so sad looking out my backdoor, knowing I’ll never see your little face again. I miss you so much still it hurts. I love you Marwan…I hope you crossed knowing how much I truly loved you🥺💔 you’ll always be my first baby.