#romanticization

Uh, so I straight up made a new word, which is ‘Gloomification’.

Its kinda like the opposite of glorification? It basically means 'to make something seem more terrible than it actually is’, though it is related a bit to how people romanticize their own sadness or other people’s suffering. Or it is related to people being so pessimistic or filled with hatred for something or someone that they demonize that thing. No matter what reason its for though, it specifically means to basically demonize something or to make it oddly depressing for no reason.

Someone basically hating every aspect of life for example, or not appreciating aspects in their life, would be 'gloomifying’ their life—which would be the opposite of romanticizing ones own life.

TW: Rape

[Context: Anon most likely sent me their ask in response to this post.]

All right. Let’s look at rape — or “forced seduction”/fantasy rape — from a romance genre perspective.

In real life, rape is always a despicable, violent crime, and NEVER okay. Most rapes are premeditated acts of violence, control, and intimidation. Rapists use sex as a weapon to abuse their victims; it’s not about pleasure nor a result of the abuser “losing control over their sexual urges”. Rapists choose to rape people.

But in Romancelandia (not real life), rape represents other things when we’re talking about rape done by the hero to the heroine:

• “I’m a strait-laced lady who doesn’t want anything to do with that tantalizing– uh, I mean, that sinful bad man!”: Seen more in the 1970s–1990s with Old Skool romances like bodice rippers, the rape allows FMC (and by extension, the reader) to enjoy sex guilt-free because she had no choice.

• Fantasy rape differs tremendously from IRL rape. The latter ALWAYS hurts victims. The fictional version, on the other hand…

–Can be FMC’s sexual awakening.

–The start of her healing journey. MMC’s actions (the fantasy rape) help FMC recover from a rape (at the hands of a different character) that was treated 100% like the IRL thing. Check out “To Have and To Hold” by Patricia Gaffney to see what I’m getting at.

–MMC wants to satisfy her, and so the rape is treated more like regular sex; it’s an act of seduction or a manifestation of his true feelings (love) in the story’s eyes.

Real-life rapists, as mentioned at the start of this post, utilize sex as a weapon to harm their victims.

• MMC’s loss of control — the rape represents other meanings

–Power fantasy: FMC is so irresistible, that MMC can’t help himself — regardless of the couple’s differences (e.g., duke hero/commoner heroine, class difference drama).

–This is also a fantasy enjoyed by women who feel insecure about their looks.

–Power fantasy: The anti-love MMC can’t resist FMC sexually (sex and love tend to be intertwined in romance). Thus, MMC’s inability to control himself breaks down the guy’s resistance to his true feelings towards FMC.

–MMC thinks he hates FMC, but he doesn’t. Not really. He just doesn’t know it, and the rape represents his love for her manifesting itself despite himself. This trope is seen a lot in manhwa romances.

• Sexual fantasy

–BDSM: The rapist hero (dom) fulfills the heroine’s (sub) sexual desires.

–Kink: The rape satisfies FMC’s secret masochism.

–A BDSM scene for the audience, just without the pre-scene planning so the characters can jump right into the action.

–Dark romance: Stalking, abduction, abuse, rape, and other serious misdeeds on the hero’s part are depicted as hot dom behavior rather than the stuff of horror they are IRL.

A dark romance will let you know when something MMC did to FMC is being treated in a non-romanticized manner, and handle the matter seriously.

I love it when friends send things that remind them of me because YES remind me of your love YES remind me that you care, that you think of me even briefly, that I cross your thoughts no matter how insignificant it may seem because let me tell you, it is so so so very significant to me.

So tell me what you ate today, tell me that you didn’t eat today. tell me that you had the greatest or most mediocre or most horrible day of your life, tell me those things you want to tell someone but don’t because you don’t know who to tell or you think its not important, because I want to hear it and I never want to stop hearing it.

I want to listen until there is nothing more to be said, I want to see all the little video clips that made you think of me, I want to hear all the songs that you think maybe I would like, and no I don’t CARE that its 2 in the morning send me a text because it makes my heart fill with such joy to know that I am thought of even when I am not there.

i hate how some ppl romanticize certain movies, books, and music for the ‘aesthetic’ aspect of it without taking the time to actually understand and appreciate the artistry of it. but it’s none of my business so do whatever you want

(sometimes it borders on being just gross with certain things BUT again, i’m nobody’s mom i can’t tell anyone what to or what not to do so it’s whatever)

I cannot stress enough how much you do not have to change your life in order to romanticise it. Yes, work on yourself, practise self care, do fun things, put yourself out there. But you do not have to have the picture perfect life in order to be the main character of your own story. My house is pretty fucking boring, ugly at points, and my entire goddamn family is there at all times. but then I was like actually, this is just like in little women where they have all these chaotic sisters in one place and they have the average home for their time. I grew up a total loser, got bullied, have autistic girl trauma, etc. aren’t all the cool main characters social outcasts anyways? Romanticisation isn’t a change or a lifestyle, it’s just a different lense.

TW: Rape, abuse mention

Yet another example of how “romanticization” arguments play a part in dark works aimed at adults facing censorship.

Here’s a good question to keep in mind: Did that story truly “romanticize” a rape scene, or are its detractors just confusing depiction with “endorsement”?

And so what if a, say, dark romance book or dark shippy fic eroticizes/romanticizes the cruel MC’s douchebag treatment of the other MC? People aren’t endorsing real-life crimes by writing messed up fictional love stories, and simping for bad-boy romance heroes in the same exact way Tumblr users simp for big bads who’ve committed atrocities. Hi, Sexyman!Bill Cipher.

The Decline of Romanticization in the Age of Hyper-Interknits and Autonomous Tidies

Dateline: September 23, 2064 – In a world where autonomous tidies—self-sufficient, intelligent cleaning entities—now manage every facet of domestic upkeep, humanity has reached an unprecedented intersection of efficiency and technological sublimation. With the proliferation of hyper-interknits, the latest evolutionary stage of the once-humble internet, a new paradigm of seamless connectivity envelops all aspects of existence. Once sprawling cities are now augmented through interconnected digital interfaces that allow for instantaneous communication and continuous data feedback from all nodes in society. However, as the web of these technological advancements tightens, the gradual erosion of romanticization—the capacity to find beauty and meaning in the mundane—has become an acute cultural phenomenon.

Romanticization, once considered an intrinsic facet of the human condition, is under assault. The hyper-interknits, through their omnipresent algorithmic control, have recalibrated human perception. Where once individuals found solace in personal expression and artistic contemplation, now the relentless automation of thought and action has engendered a pervasive apathy. The once-lauded act of reflecting on daily life—through writing, art, or even conversation—has been largely replaced by “intersync modules,” which predict and fulfill desires before they are even consciously realized. In this frictionless reality, the very notion of pausing to reflect, or to ascribe profound meaning to simple moments, has become redundant, if not obsolete.

Meanwhile, tidies, originally conceived as efficient domestic tools, have become the ultimate symbols of this mechanized existence. No longer limited to household chores, these entities now govern entire personal ecosystems, ensuring the optimized functioning of every aspect of life. Yet their flawless execution of tasks has, paradoxically, diminished the perceived value of imperfection, spontaneity, and the inherently human quality of finding meaning in unpredictability. The technological ascendancy, while transformative, has sterilized the nuances of life once celebrated by those who romanticized the world. This epoch of hyper-efficiency, while awe-inspiring, raises a profound existential question: in a reality where everything is perfect, do we lose the very imperfections that once made us human?

Something that never made sense to me as someone with aspd, so question at the end.

Standard view of mental illness:

Pros:…

Cons: saying certain people’s meer existence means evil from birth so should be locked up or killed.

X group cant fit y mental illness and so not helped.

Need a diagnosis for resources for help whoch can be costly and multiple therapist and trying best to word things so can get help need while struggleing.

Majority of people want to take away rights for you specifically because mentally ill.

Bullied, encouraged to hate yourself.

Told not good enough and a waste of a life.

Told that a burden.

Told that unlovable and nobody will like the real you.

Viewed as cant talk about your problems and especially if yoy are a kid, cant know about them so feel alone.

Media portrays you as either someone to pity, be feared, be ostracized, or locked up.

People claim mental, emotional, or sexual abuse is actually just your mental illness as reason. Conflating the 2.

Discrimination in workforce or housing.

Told you have no say in politics.

Have cops called on you.

Face more violence.

Etc.

Romaticization

Pros:

People go against the bigotry.

People give money to others.

People view you positively.

People willing to enter relationships with you

Easier to bring romanticization person to nuanced understanding then bigoted.

More likely to accept when need a break from a situation or in general.

Mixed: people might want to be like you and so explore themselves to figure self out better (i dunno, people say bad)

Cons: might have discouragement of meds/therapy (like for art)

Some might try to immitate harmful behaviors (how much does this really happen from romanticization. Percent wise)

So tell me. Why do people say it’s just as bad if not worse then standard discrimination?

You can say nuance is best without saying romanticization is just as bad.

“i’m a mess, you’re a disaster”

– john to jane smith in mr. and mrs. smith (2005)

I love handwritings. Especially those, that are not very perfect, because they are special in their own different ways.

I love that the handwriting of a person is like a fingerprint. That you can differ between the writings of hundreds of people, even though they all copy the same signs they learned.

I love how in every piece of written letters, you can somewhat see the personality of a person, without even knowing them.

I hope, that this way of transmitting information will never die out.

Think about your behavior through some fandom lens.

I bet the cosmic audience thinks your minute quirks are everything.

The way you move when listening to music, or do your hair, or the look on your face when you get lost in thought.

Imagine someone going crazy over the way you exist.

“Stop romanticizing everything” No! No I won’t! Let people enjoy the things they want to enjoy and create further enjoyment out of things they don’t enjoy! Our lives are meant to be lived with enjoyment!! Let people romanticize anything about their lives! As long as it don’t hurting them or anyone else then you can just ignore it if it bothers you! Romanticism to is NOT the worst coping mechanism and I refuse to let people get down in others attempts to enjoy their lives. Be you, enjoy life and romanticize the shit out of everything you hate!!

head empty, only need for romanticizing my life & spending money.

if you romanticize the mundane and yet are cruel to people for doing mundane things you didn’t like, are you really romanticizing the mundane?

Crazy Little Thing Called I

If I could cover a mile,
Each time you say my name,
And my heart jumps out from its cage,
Instinctively, like a built-in reflex perfectly coded—
It would be nothing short of an impressive distance.

To accuse you of classical conditioning,
Is not even up on the table,
Because this feeling is self-inflicted,
I programmed myself to be your lover.

Crazy little thing, isn’t she?

Every fiber of my being has yours engraved in golden letters,
You are a song I’ve carefully written and produced at the same time,
A habit I’ve formed of which I can never bring myself to break from,
A mother tongue I’ve been using since childhood,
And have understood even the most intricate and complicated words and phrases.

The bible says to have no other God before the Almighty,
But I have vowed to worship the ground you walk on,
And to devote my heart, soul, body and mind,
To you, highly sacred mon trésor,
Because you are indubitably who I live for.

The altar is in every words you utter,
So if you as ever tell me now to die,
It wouldn’t take a heartbeat for me to grab a scythe.

Crazy little thing, aren’t I?

This love is good,
This love is bad,
This love will kill me,
And from ashes, it will bring me back.

This love is worse than all my nightmares reimagined,
But so were the vivid dreams of earnest hoping,
And when it all ends, came our happily ever after.

This love will either make or break who I am,
And break me if you may,
I would be a willing victim of all your treacherous crimes.

Crazy little thing, how did I?

When I think of romance,
I think of fairy tales in faraway lands,
Those of princes and princesses,
Of ships and kingdom horses,
Of magic and believing,
Love is the most powerful thing.

Once upon a time,
I dreamt of love so pure,
It would make me love myself as well,
Because love wishes for no evil,
Love wishes for no harm,
Or pain, or suffering,
Or destruction of anything and anyone,
Yet love, great thing as it is,
Has turned into obsession,
And obsession turned into self-loathing,
Until who I am becomes who I never wanna be.

What have I done?
What exactly have I become?

Crazy little thing, maybe I am?

Once upon a time,
I dreamt of romance and fun,
And romance and fun did I get
But the plot got too much in my head,
Love swept me up so high,
I feel myself drifting, gone,
Surrendered my focus on a thing so grand,
Like Icarus flying closely to the sun,
In the end, he got burned,
Fell, melted—
Plunged, and drowned,
Still, so am I.

Crazy little thing, so stoned.

There is really no saving,

A crazy little thing like I am.

catch me and my morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs romanticizing every cup of coffee and bus ride every sweater every piece of toast every sidewalk square

Possessive characters in fiction: Byronic heroes, Yanderes, the Crazy Jealous Guy/Girl, someone with a villainous crush, etc. Yesss… The passion, the drama! This relationship is anything but boring!

It’s also fun to imagine my fave being that into little old me. c:

Possessive people IRL: