#crushes

this is my virtual diary so ya

ANYWAYS I have no one to tell this since my best friend is mad at me for god knows what, she’ll get over it, and all my other friends aren’t close enough for me too tell so ya and im literally screaming right now.

SOOOO theres this Ukrainian kid who joined my school last year and i used to help him in lessons since we could both talk Russian and I thought he was cute but never thought about it much since i liked some asswipe called Toby. Butttttt I joined a new form this year, his form (the Ukrainian kid), and I’ve been talking to him more and today we were talking in computer science and laughing and stuff and then he asked for my socials so all day since school we’ve been talking and AHHHHH he’s so cute. I wanna ask him out…and yes I know I like older guys but that’s only because guys my age don’t talk to me and are super immature but he’s not and I REALLY SUPER DUPER like him sooooo..YAYYYYY :>

I hate that my type is people w the opposite lifetysle as me.

Like yes babe read ur book but I do wanna go to that party. No I’m not gonna die if I do a line it’s alright. Yes we can play one of your Pokémon games when we get home. No I do like the muppets love I just need to see my friends tonight xx

guys who are Such daviebait . but im a bum who cant watch tv shows

loser (but I’m crushing on you but it’s disguised as a joke) vs darling (but I’m high-key flirting with you but think we’re messing with each other)

When your crush sends you a heart emoji>>>>>>>

why was i cursed to have a crush on my straight friend?!

well, i’m like 99.9% sure he’s straight.

still, it’s hell. i can’t say anything to him out of fear of making things weird. the only scenario in which i would ever confess anything is if he did first (unlikely) or either of us quit our job and wouldn’t see each other so often, if at all (more likely).

it’s taking so much willpower to not become completely obsessed over it. i’ve, honest to god, really thought about trying manifestation and shit. i know for sure if i did, i’d become so deluded and insane about it and i can’t have that.

i’m so desperate for a relationship. no matter how much i try to convince myself i’m cool with being single, i’m really not all that cool with it.

my ex has been in like 5/6 relationships/situationships in the almost year since we’ve broken up while i’ve been on and off various dating apps with no success whatsoever and pining for a coworker that’s almost certainly not into me like that. in my opinion, that says more about his lack of standards and inability to be by himself than it says about me and my lack of new relationships but i digress.

i’m so so so close to googling “how to manifest your soulmate” or some shit, i swear.

I need to figure my shit tf out. What do you mean I’ve been spiraling out all day over a boy I saw across a crowded room for 30 seconds last night???? What do you mean I’m reevaluating the value I bring to society because he hasn’t responded to my Instagram dm?????? What do you mean I’m having an anxiety attack cause he left me on read??? What do you mean he had good hair and pretty eyes that darted over to mine one too many times for me to think it was nothing and so now my Saturday is GONE because I’ve been obsessing over whether or not it was nothing and whether or not he was out of my league and whether I did anything wrong. What am I gonna tell people when they ask how my weekend went??

I have an absolute thing for an emo boy in the moment, who is sweet and cute and fucking funny and incredible

(I love him, I want to cuddle with him till the end of times)

And I just realized I always had a thing for fake blondies with black nail polish who listen to rock music and served everytime

I’ve never thought about this pairing before. but this was a very fun dynamic to write!

Tags: Yearning, Crushes, Patrick Stump Is Extremely Awkward But That’s Okay

Summary: From the first time Fall Out Boy is introduced to Panic! At The Disco, there’s one particular member he can’t seem to take his eyes off of. If only he was bold enough to make the first move…

Word Count: 440

Fic under the cut!

Patrick Stump hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off the guitarist since the first time Pete Wentz introduced Panic! At The Disco to their band. His gentle features and soothing voice that often contradicted his sarcastic words had drawn the singer in, and no matter what he tried, he couldn’t seem to stop his feelings from spiraling.

Especially when he first saw them perform.

Dear fucking god.

The way Ryan played that guitar, fingers dancing across the strings like that instrument was his entire world, enraptured him entirely.

Patrick Stump had been hooked ever since.

Yet, when he finally found himself alone in a room with Ryan, he clammed up. He couldn’t say a word. If he did, he would screw up. He would screw everything up. Screw up the relationship they didn’t even have because Patrick was too much of a coward to make the first move.

“Hey,” Ryan said suddenly, his voice slightly hesitant. “Patrick, right? Feels like we haven’t talked much. How are you?”
Patrick, right?

The world pierced a hole straight through Patrick’s soul. Right. Right. Because the singer was the one who couldn’t stop thinking about the guitarist, not the other way around. Right.

“Yeah, I’m Patrick. And I’m doing good, how about you?” He wanted to say more, wanted to say so much more, but he managed to contain himself to those two singular sentences. Never enough, but it had to do.

“I’m good, I’m good,” Ryan replied. A silence began to stretch between them. Patrick wanted to say something, wanted to fill the awkwardness, but he wasn’t sure what to say.

“Hey, your singing is amazing, you know that?” the guitarist said suddenly, and Patrick’s heart stopped. “I mean, Jesus Christ, man. You take lessons or something?”

It was all Patrick could do to not stand there with his mouth hanging open. “No, not really. Fall Out Boy is my first real thing I’ve done to get experience with my voice.” He felt a blush creeping across his cheeks. He felt so weird talking about himself.

Ryan looked impressed, and the singer’s heart swelled. “Fuckin’ awesome, man. Hey, I got to go, but we should hang out sometime, if you want. Don’t see why we don’t talk more, with our bands being so close and all that.” He left quickly, but his words remained. They echoed loudly through Patrick’s head, sending a giddiness flowing through his veins that he hadn’t ever experienced before.

No way. No fucking way. Ryan Ross wanted to talk to him more. Ryan Ross found him interesting.

Maybe his original crush hadn’t been as outlandish as he thought.

does my crush like me back or am I delusional as people say? Because we kinda had a meet cute at school and after that he won’t stop looking at me. He even moved his seat near mine and we made major eye contact a few weeks ago. But he befriended a girl in class just a few days ago and they seem chill with eachother. I keep walking into class with them talking and it pmo ngl. But he doesn’t know that and that I like him. I have a feeling that he might be doing it to make me jealous, which is working tbh..

cant stop thinking about making out

i genuinely have the biggest crush on jennifer lawrence like i NEED her.

B. sent some patches and other rad stuff along with his letter. One of the patches is so old & dirty it’s fucking shiny, and it smells like booze & coffee & smoke & dirt & human smells. It smells like a fucking punk, & maybe I’m weird but I find that sexy.

I don’t even know what he looks like (I don’t think he knows what I look like either), but it almost doesn’t matter. It’s my teenage fantasy come true: cool punk rock zine dude wanting to hang out with me and go looking for coffee and trouble. How could I not have a crush?!

He gave me his phone number and obviously wants to hang out with me and I keep going back and forth: “Should I call him? Should I hang out with him?” I know I’m overthinking this. I don’t have to call him, I don’t have to hang out with him, and even if I do there’s no one saying we’ll be anything more than good pals, but…

It’s fucking springtime and I’m restless and I’m so tired of weighing the potential consequences.

[journal entry, March 15, 2016]

if i had a nickel for every detective i had whose almost met his demise in a bog ✌️ id have 2

My Campion.[Coughs up blood

a man I have a crush on did something super cringy today in public and went into a temporary stage of shock realizing I was still attracted to him soldiers im in too deep

Found a list I made in high school of my celeb crushes.

Currently think about the pretty lady from the gas station /.\ I cannot get over her glasses and smile ugh she is so prettttyyyy ;(((( <3333

i genuinely hate everyone so much i don’t want to talk to anyone except my crush i want to distance myself from everyone else

the moment I get a crush it will become everyone’s problem