I love the only thing getting me through a shift is a constant state of delusion. He’s watching me, just waiting for me to go to my car to leave hours from now. He’s just observing. Waiting, almost impatiently. Stalking his prey. He sees me holding control for so long, knowing how I badly I want him to rip it from my hands, so bad I would beg on my hands and knees. His little doll.
Hi my name is Evelyn and this is my sideblog where I call myself Kuro’s wife because I am #delusional
sometimes you just need to listen to the weeknd and make fake scenarios in your mind while you’re studying
✼ •• ┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ୨˚୧ ⋯⋅๑┈┈┈┈ •• ✼
(btw listening to trilogy)
Amazing things are happening at cosmopolitan.
The second one is even more heinous, because not only did they come on the show looking like toads, but they also had the most horrid personalities & audacity to start complaining about their partners figures.
Like how are you hideous outside & out pick a struggle.
it’s me and listening to music with my headphones on while imagining little edits and fake scenarios in my head looking out the car window against the world
Would anyone else like to sip a nice cup of delusion with some maladaptive daydreaming? I’m about to make some.
cw venting, break in delusions and self degrading
[[MORE]]my weird moments of clarity like this make me feel really disgusting and i actually hate them i hope i don’t have one for several more months
i do not deserve any friends. but i’m a selfish creature and want them. so having them online where it’s easier for them to leave me when they decide they hate me is a better option
when my mom asks me if i’ve a boyfriend bc im smiling at my phone all the time, but im just reading ‘x reader’ fanfic
I missed the past two days, sorry!!
I also head cannon that Viktor is allergic to dogs so Makkachin is a labadoodle, but that might be because my dog is a labadoodle lol
Currently thinking about and trying not to cry over the fact that M and L (ex friends) not only somewhat forcefully broke me out of my delusion (kept emotionally cornering me and giving me a “safe space” to admit I was “faking DID), they also didn’t let me process that I was in a delusion. They immediately began saying I was faking and lying about having DID, anytime I began doubting myself it was "you don’t have DID”, whenever I mentioned feeling like I had to reinvent myself because I didn’t know who I was outside of having DID M went “you don’t have to reinvent yourself just be your original self” I don’t have one because I spent four years believing I was over 200+ people.
There was one time I slipped back into my delusion and was claiming to be an alter again, but I was clearly upset and trying to deny it despite it feeling real and this motherfucker wants to go “You’re disrespecting me and what I go through” also said I was faking DID to “get closer to him”
Someone having a fucking delusion or psychotic episode is not fucking about you. I can’t properly re-integrate into reality if you’re constantly telling me what my reality is. Let me figure it out for myself. I was handling everything by myself, I didn’t have access to any medical professionals. All I had was my own brain and you with your damn psychology knowledge that you used to fakeclaim everybody
Of all the demons she will face,
the enemy is closer than she knows.
Self-deception hides in quiet places.
Her illusions move like an endless river.
She thinks she understands people.
She says she feels them deeply.
But every story bends back toward her reflection
like the moon trapped in a lake
that never touches the sky.
I watched her speak about connection
the way someone describes the ocean
who has only stood on the shore.
She knows the language of empathy.
She has memorized the words.
But Awen—
that wild breath of inspiration—
does not rise from a closed fist.
It moves through open hands,
through listening without waiting to be heard,
through the quiet work
of seeing another soul
without dragging your own shadow across it.
She mistakes attention for intimacy.
Admiration for understanding.
And the saddest part is
she truly believes the bridge is there
even while she keeps building mirrors
instead of roads.
I do not think she is cruel.
Just orbiting herself
like a lonely planet
convinced the stars revolve around her.
And somewhere beyond that gravity
the well of Awen waits—
deep, clear, ancient.
But its waters only rise
for those willing
to kneel beside another soul
and drink together.
-a beating heart🌹
it’s genuinely heartbreaking growing up watching romance movies, reading books about epic passionate love stories, and seeing how soulmates find each other/ grow old and happy together only to realize later that it’s unrealistic and there’s a 1% chance that type of love will actually happen irl. Like you’re telling me the first person I fall in love with won’t be the person I marry; I can’t meet someone organically and they’ll turn out to be most perfect compatible person for me
