HAHAHAHDGHABAGSH GAHHH pleeease I love that joke!! I definitely have to watch it now. And it is the ides of march in my timezone, so perfect timing. Thank you for that crow!
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Mark & Cindy Fight Monsters: Episode Thirty
Blush with Power
It all started with an estate sale.
Cindy wasn’t even trying to buy anything cursed. She was looking for vintage glassware and maybe a fun chair. But tucked between a dusty taxidermied badger and a box labeled “DO NOT OPEN (seriously, Brenda)” sat a pristine, untouched makeup kit.
It gleamed. Literally.
“Don’t you have one just like that already?” Mark asked.
Cindy blinked. “Mark. That’s like saying, ‘Don’t you already own a fork?’“
[[MORE]]Back home, she opened it. The compact shimmered like moonlight on champagne. The lipstick whispered her name. The mascara curled… on its own.
Mark was alarmed when the mirror fogged and spelled out:
“SLAY, QUEEN.”
But Cindy was intrigued. She had a dinner party to attend. A little mystical highlighter wouldn’t kill her.
(Probably.)
The Powers:
- Lipstick of Truth: Once applied, she could force anyone to reveal their most embarrassing secret.
(The UPS guy cried. So did Mark.) - Blush of Strength: Her cheekbones now doubled as registered weapons. She crushed a cantaloupe with a wink.
- Mascara of Mind Control: One flutter of her lashes and the HOA board agreed to allow hellhounds in the neighborhood. Toast barked in triumph.
- Setting Spray of Invulnerability: Bullets? Mean girl comments? Splatters from exploding casserole dishes? Nothing touched her now.
Cindy went from “woman with a good cardigan game” to goddess of glam and chaos.
At first, it was fun. She cleaned up neighborhood crime by blinking. She forced that snooty Whole Foods clerk to apologize for rolling his eyes. She glowed.
But then… she saw her.
Brenda. From high school.
Brenda with her loud laugh, and her yacht, and her “Oh, Cindy! Still shopping at Not-Athleta?” energy.
Cindy clenched the cursed compact.
The blush pulsed.
The power whispered: “Wing that eyeliner. Wreck her.”
Mark intervened.
“Hey,” he said, softly. “You okay?”
“I could end her,” Cindy hissed, eyes glittering with both eyeliner and vengeance. “I could make her cry in Nordstrom.”
“You already won, babe. You’ve got a hellhound, supernatural confidence, and cheekbones sharp enough to slice toast.”
Toast barked in agreement. Possibly in fear.
That night, Cindy stood in the bathroom.
The makeup glowed in its case.
It begged.
Just one more swipe.
Just one more spell.
But Cindy closed it.
And gently placed it back in the box marked:
“TO BE DEALT WITH LATER (or thrown into the river).”
The next morning, she wore no makeup.
Just confidence. And a little smugness when Brenda spilled cold brew on herself.
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These different personalities is driving me insane
One random day I’m a happy guy who loves his life enjoys everything doesn’t mind small things another day I’m a guy who hates everything hates everyone stays inside at all costs some times I’m a just normal dude who’s overreacting over stuff
And this one time I’m a guy who loves his family and I enjoy doing things I didn’t enjoy other times but sometime I can’t realize what’s reality vs what’s not real and I don’t talk my face is numb just a mindless robot I don’t even know what’s my real personality which drives me fucking nuts
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Your Weekly Dose – The Oscars: Who Should Win/Who Will Win
The Movie Guys are all over the web! Check out one of our appearances across the internets talking movies and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.
Your Weekly Dose – The Oscars: Who Should Win/Who Will Win
Paul Preston jumps on the Your Weekly Dose podcast for his annual chime-in with who…
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Hannigram: The Way You Look Tonight 🎵🐟 (Part 1)
Once I thought of it 6 or so years ago I haven’t been able to unsee it for ever since. 🐟
Hannibal finally cannibalizing, preparing and eating, his own kind 😂🪞🐟 I should probably be sorry for bodyshaming like this. But sorry for not being sorry.
This is part 1 of the longer comedy saga of mine. I toned down the violence a little bit cause I didn’t want to censor this.
Hannigram fanart (NBC Hannibal shipping art)
Written and drawn by me.
IG: femmebacchanale
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The Pout-Pout Fish brings Deborah Diesen’s storybook world to the big screen with charm, colour, and heart. This Australian-made film is sure to delight and we all want a stuffie of Mr. Fish too! @vivakidsfilms @ThePoutPoutFishMovie #animation #family #moviereview at:
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Edgar John Bergen (né Berggren; February 16, 1903 – September 30, 1978) was an American ventriloquist, comedian, actor, vaudevillian and radio performer. He was best known for his characters Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd. Bergen pioneered modern-day ventriloquism and has been described by puppetry organization UNIMA as the “quintessential ventriloquist of the 20th century”.
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Lore fact: LMAOOOOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I LOVE 67😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂SO FUNNY😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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“If gender is not real then why am I every woman and the man at the same time?”
