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Murmuring and stepping around the man in the street, whose suffering was too acute and too present to actually look at and perceive. It was easier to fret over the closing of the Met. Well, if not easier, then more convenient physically. One had to ignore the acutest of the suffering in order to survive because otherwise it would destroy you.
Brandon Taylor, from Minor Black Figures
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‘I kind of forgot about a lot of that stuff. Maybe forget isn’t right. I put it away.’
Brandon Taylor, from Minor Black Figures
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… they had both come out of that prior life—their life together—and now they negotiated the world in precisely the same way: by pretending it had never happened.
Brandon Taylor, from Minor Black Figures
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BF 35M keeps passing out in public places and refuses to talk to me 31F about it
My BF (35M) used to have a drinking problem. I 31f was woken up by the condo staff in the middle of the night because he was passed out in one of the common areas and they couldn’t wake him up. So of course I had to haul myself out of bed and fetch him.
He was super surly and uncooperative. When we got back he was all “what is your problem” and said that he apologized so I just need to get over it. Only he never did apologize so when I asked him for an apology he said” I’m sorry for this”. In the sort of tone a teenager would give.
When I asked him for a more heartfelt apology he refused and told me that he’s over it so I need to get over it too. Later on when I was cooked down I went to check on him to make sure that he was okay and that everything was okay because the last time this happened his dad was really sick. He told me nothing happened he just didn’t sleep well last night. So I went to wish him good night and he held out his send arms said “NO NO NO NO” So I was really hurt and I backed off. It turns out he thought I wanted to talk and so reacted like that. Then he offered to talk to me tomorrow, which made me really happy, so I asked for a time. Then he sighed and said he didn’t actually think I would agree and retracted his offer, which hurt me again. It’s a pain point for me that he keeps offering to do things he doesn’t actually want to do, and then acts like I’m a villain for wanting him to do what he agreed to do.
Then he just rolls over to go to sleep on the couch. I just feel like it’s so unfair that he gets to embarrass me, hurt my feelings, ruin my night, refuse to talk about it, and then sleep because I know it doesn’t bother him because he’ll just pretend nothing happened. But I also don’t know how to bring it up in a way that he’ll actually accept talking it through because he hates talking. He says I always make him feel like shit and he doesn’t see why I can’t “just get over it” like he does. What are some strategies I can use so I can have a productive conversation?
None. You can’t force someone who doesn’t want to talk to talk. You only have control of your own actions, and you can indeed choose to break up.
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Still Waters
Only in the still water can I see my reflection
So I toss in stones and the ripples destroy
The image of a soul scarred by rejection.
Stones skip and stir the brook’s babbling.
The gurgling stream builds in volume and speed
Until even thought is drowned in turbulent rushing.
Deep calls unto deep- the flood overtakes me.
All I can hear are the rapids crashing over land
I sink into the din…
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Atp the only thing getting me to finally start studying is someone bullying me into it😭
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Ugghhh it’s so embarrassing to admit you have an avoidant attachment style to someone. Like holy TikTok buzzword, they ain’t gonna take ya seriously at ALL.
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What if your alter-ego wasn’t Daft Girl, but Teacher’s Pet?
What if you developed a diligent schoolgirl persona, one was so eager to please her strict Sir that getting her work done was itself a source of deep satisfaction. That are good psychological reasons why this might be just what you’re missing.
Don’t avoid things. And don’t touch yourself unless you’ve earned it. It’s very easy to become addicted to Cheap Dopamine, to flood your mind with transient pleasure instead of doing hard things and facing the possibility of failure.
But you’re going to resolve be a good girl now. Give your alter ego a name. Keep a little journal of her accomplishments.
Many slip into avoidant behaviour, like distractions, as a coping mechanism when faced with stressful situations like assignments and deadlines. The only way to properly address the issue isn’t to find some magic supply of “willpower”, it’s to create an outcome that’s actually satisfying.
Your interest in discipline is your superpower. That’s why you keep thinking about. That strict hand on your bare bottom in your fantasies is a manifestation of the direction and discipline your mind is craving. Roleplaying a new persona might help you enter the flow state where you really long to be.
If you want to incorporate me into your fantasies, remember that if you knocked on my study door with an outstanding assignment, I’d insist on you getting your responsibilities done. Only those who do me proud go across my knee for good girl spankings.
Get a school uniform or improvise from what you own, and wear it in private when you need to focus. Have a special set of panties which you pledge never to put your fingers inside. Give yourself real world anchors that will remind you of your new mission: to be the diligent schoolgirl your mind truly wants you to be.
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Anxiety isn’t weakness. It’s a survival system doing what it was built to do. When we understand the biology behind it, shame softens and clarity increases. This piece explores how the brain’s alarm system works — and how awareness creates space for change.
