“What’s more gay, being gay or whatever the fuck that was” - kurze watching Uma Musume content
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The Revengeful Cat
From Cats: The Grimdark Musical
You ought not to have angered Mr. Pissed-off-elees
The Original Mongering Cat
There can be no doubt about that
Please
Listen to me and don’t scoff
All your intentions are off your own bat
But there’s no such cat in the metropolis
He holds all the hostile revenge stories
For performing repulsive retributions
And clearing eccentric maltreatments
The greatest vindictives
Have something to learn
From Mr. Pissed-off-elees’ savagely burns
And we all say
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so bitter as revengeful Mrs. Pissed-off-elees?
He’s violent he’s tall, his mind’s whack
he has no ears or the tip of his tail
He can hate even tiniest pranks
you can say that but he won’t even care
He can stab all of you in the back
He isn’t entirely nice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he was only hunting for cats
He can play any trick with long pork
and then soon all you’ll be is fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think he is a big disgrace
You’ve hurt him one moment
and now, you’ll be gone
You’ll find you next week
bleeding out on the lawn
And we all say
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so bitter as revengeful Mr. Pissed-off-elees? (Fuck off!)
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so bitter as revengeful Mr. Pissed-off-elees?
His manner is naive and unaware
And you would think there was no target shyer
But the pain has been made by his scares
While the chevron was on fire
And he’s sometimes have heard by the fire
While he was about on his scares
that the other cats thought he was the worst
Which to him the cats could not dare
And all the cold-blooded killer revengeful powers
And I’ve known that Mungoscary stole
under his nose when he wasn’t looking
When he was burying a bod’
And not long ago, this despicable cat
reduced seven kittens
into a fur hat
And we all say
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so bitter as revengeful Mr. Pissed-off-elees?
Radical!
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
reduced seven kittens
into a fur hat
And we all say
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so bitter as revengeful Mr. Pissed-off-elees?
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so bitter as revengeful Mr. Pissed-off-elees?
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so bitter as revengeful Mr. Pissed-off-elees?
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so bitter as revengeful Mr. Pissed-off-elees?
(revengeful,! Justice served!)
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so bitter as revengeful Mr. Pissed-off-elees?
I give you the revengeful
The devious
Mr. Pissed-off-elees!
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Still holding out for how it’ll feel to wake up to that specific crab rave we all desire to celebrate one sweet day…
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Fucked up that they killed Julius Caesar 2069 years ago, I need to stab someone NOW. Inconsiderate fucks.
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Don’t even bother inviting me to your vast steppe if you don’t have any nimble horse archers to raid the measly city dwellers with
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The Merry Cat
From Cats: The Grimdark Musical
NOTE: though most of this fanfic’s lines are left unlabeled as to which cat says what to leave up to interpretation, there is a segment in this song where it does indicate what lines are sung by specific cats. To avoid confusion, these names will be highlighted and bold in blue.
*While distracted attempting to reach for Grimabella, Old Murderonomy is suddenly kidnapped by a group of other cats, none of which are Jail-licles. The Jail-licled rejoice in relief by the fact their cruel ruler is gone, only for him to seemingly return, only this time being a fake Old Murderonomy. Once the cats return to relief, many ask and wonder who could’ve done such a kind act to save them, even after what they’ve done.*
Mahappity’s a merry cat: He’s called the cheerful Paw
For he’s a good semaritan who will enforce the law
He’s a radiant feline of good, he walks right on the air
But when one’s in a deed of of crime Mahappity is there!
Mahappity, Mahappity, there’s no snitch like Mahappity
He lives his life by human law, he preaches laws of gravity
He scoffs at levitation and thinks that we would care
And when one’s in a deed of crime Mahappity is there!
He may seek you in a basement, he may look up in the air…
But I tell you once, and once again, Mahappity is there!
Mahappity’s a stringent cat, he’s obedient and strict
You’d know him if you saw him for his deeds are virtuous
He’s nice enough that we’re a thought, his fur is neat and combed
But we’re so fussy from neglect, and snitches are what we loathe
His chuckles tend to hurt his sides with happiness like a quokka
And when he thinks your half asleep… he knows your wide awake!
Mahappity, Mahappity, there’s no one like Mahappity
He’s a friend in feline shape, a hero to the villainy
You may greet him with some candy to distract him if you dare
But when you crime’s discovered then Mahappity is there!
He’s overall respectable
I know, he’s fair at cards
And the footprints he collects in files of our killers
Mungoscary & Rumplescreamer: And when the grave is looted
Rum Mum Mugger: Or the bone case is rifled
Jennyanychops: Or when your family’s missing
Massacre Jones: Or another cat’s been dined on!
Shiv’n’shanks: Or a trolly’s lever is broken
Mr. Pissed-off-elees: And you’re plotting against your friends
There’s the wonder of the thing
Mahappity is there!
Mahappity, Mahappity, there’s no one like Mahappity
There never was a cat of such benevolence and sanity
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare
What ever time the deed took place Mahappity was there!
And they say that all the cats whose kindly deeds are widely known
I might mention Mungoscary
I might mention Nibblebone
Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations: The Mahatama of Nice!
Mahappity, Mahappity, there’s no one like Mahappity
He’s a friend in feline shape, a hero of the villainy
You may greet him with some candy to distract him if you dare
But when your crime’s discovered then Mahappity…
Mahappity…
Mahappity!
Mahappity…
When your crime’s discovered then Mahappity is there!
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Trans guys I love you but maybe you have to examine some of the stuff that you feel gender euphoria in… saw someone say he felt euphoric by learning to play guitar kind of feels like straight misogyny to me can women not learn to play guitar. Like idk weird things give me euphoria too but maybe some of this is from misogyny guys…
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Lowkey only eaten sweets all day and Im starting to feel lightheaded…. its that or painting a super detailed pattern for 4 hours straight with one break to refuel on caffine which traditionally makes me feel terrible…. really a beautiful combo with the fact im pretty ill
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If there is a 30th anniversary version of the original V-Pets, Tonosama Gekomon, and Ex-Tyranomon are probably the next in line to get proper evolutions.
Champions are more interesting, though they would require both a Perfect, and an Ultimate. Though a Metal Greymon analogue for Birdramon would be interesting, if only for the fan discussions.
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Pendulum V-Pets might also get a 30th anniversary batch, but those will be more complex to discuss.
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Tell me the weirdest but also most sensible explanation for a problem you’ve had, but without telling me what the problem was. I’ll go first:
Natasha Hodgson’s portrayal of Ewen Montagu is sooo gender.
(Hope you don’t mind me tagging you guys @the-chaotic-axolotl @averytiredcatboi @gay-little-isopod @fandom-portal + anyone else who wants to answer)
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Funny how my biggest enemy is actually myself. This funkly little bitch fights me at every turn and not even for valid reasons.
‘I’m tired’ bestie we’ve been tired for years. We go to bed tired. We wake up tired. We came out of the womb tired.
‘I don’t want to do it right now’ I don’t want to do life right now either. It’s a mood. You’ve been feeling ‘I don’t want to do it rn’ about literally everything. What do you want to do right now. Cease to exist.
Buckle up your seatbelt, stop listening to Against The Kitchen Floor by Will Wood, and let’s get cracking on the shitload of work we need to do already istg
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I keep painting super formulaic patterns and then wondering why im bored guys im soooo boreddddddd aaaaaa
