I have been failed by tumblr….

some people pmo immeasurably like omg

she was the first girl I made a playlist for

me and my friend group created a “government” the other day during recess, later in class we told the only two people of the group that weren’t there and one of them is a trans guy (I’m not friends with him bc he’s not trustworthy and I hate people that try to be om everyone’s side and then talk shit about everyone with everyone in secret), and we told him that I’m the “secretary of queer people” and he said “oh but you’re not even gay, you’re just Heterocurious” …. BITCH NOT BC YOUR PARENTS ARE MORE OPEN MINDED THAN MINE MEANS THAT IM HETERO CURIOUS FOR NOT OPENLY DATING A GIRL, MY PARENTS WON’T EVEN LET ME HAVE GAY FRIENDS U OIECE OF SHIT I’VE HAD A CRUSH ON MANY GIRLS DURING MY LIFE AND U CAN’T TELL ME IM NOT BISEXUAL OR PANSEXUAL BC I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO ACTUALLY DATE A GIRL OR TELL ONE ABOUT MY FEELINGS AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I think today was like the absolute worst binge I’ve ever had.. please bully me into getting back on track yall

not even joking I ate 2388 cals today (2088 over what my limit was SUPPOSED to be)

I PROMISE ILL KEEP WRITING FOR AS LONG AS I CAN I HAVE SO MANY STORIES AND SO MANY PLOTS AND SO MANY SMUTS TO WRITE !!!! oh and angst apparently too wtf I truly didn’t know I had angst in my stories but apparently the wti angst hit pretty hard? Guess I owe that guy that DUMPED me in his fuckass car a thanks or smth

READ THOSE SMUTS NEXT TO YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND AND TRY THEM OUT WITH HIM ESP MY BLOW JOB TIPS THEYRE GREAT

that moment when you reread an old thing you wrote but it sounds exactly like the way AI talks so you lowk just kill yourself

ok ykw my sd card reader is gone until i stumble upon it in the near future

Changed my username a week ago & just realized I have to update all my damn chapter/fic links.

Fuck this I’m not cleaning the bathroom

Sir, I’m not sure of your anatomy… but “balls first” is a poor strategy for approaching… a vast many (if not most) situations…

And, id if you noticed… It appears you are… uh, stepping on your own dick. I am aware it couldn’t possibly be that long, but what’s that shrivelled thing, stuck to your shoe?

Hey, if you’re not gonna wear a cup, or a loincloth, at least watch for the vi– MOTHERFUCKER, THE VINES HAVE THORNS! Don’t trip.

don’t EVER get no harris teeter fried chicken, there was a whole ass fossilized chicken skeleton in that thing 💔

dino dog hunt up in here

Being a fan of a sports team is worse than torture.

tell me why whenever I argue with my mom it feels like she hates me and it is the last time we are talking?

please im so sick, my friend finally texted me a week ago (my birthday was two weeks ago) and i left her on read for a week because i honestly couldn’t deal with it then, my best friend had her grandma pass, i was failing my classes, i had midterm blah blahblah. and so i finally texted a long paragraph about how the guy i like (ive known him 3 months), my father (i have horrible daddy issues and he never texts me on time), and old classmates from my old school (who i was never even friends with) all texted me happy birthday before she did and we’ve been really really close friends for 3 years. and i was talking about how hers is on my calendar and have notifs for it and i always get her birthday right and blahblahblah.

she find it crucial to tell me “to be honest you’re saved in my calendar but i forgot i turned the notifs off…i dont think thats helpful rn though”

please piss yourself, so you weren’t even trying then

Shower without eating breakfast = faint

send me a 🎁 and I’ll write five sentences of what I’m working on and share one

“Do you know what your uncle used to do?”
“Sell cars,” the automatic deadpan is too rehearsed to be honest.

ughhhh ughhh ughhhh

.

i’m so fucking lame. i’m hungover, fantasizing about laying on the beach with him and teaching him how to do killer sudokus, even though he probably already knows how