Diamond Foreheads: The Power of Resolve in Life’s Challenges
Ezekiel 3:9: ‘I have made your forehead like a diamond, harder than flint. Don’t be afraid or discouraged.’
Your tenacity and determination may cause you to be labeled ‘hard-headed’. While it might not always seem like a gift, this character trait is a valuable asset God has granted you for your particular journey.
When others may get discouraged or give up, you continue to persevere. You do…
Exactly. Delphini has been given everything - the genetics, the training, the access to knowledge. Delphini is going to achieve awesome, fantastic things - and I look forward to witnessing them.
when people expect things from me it kills me within. im like wow you really thought that i was capable of achieving that, you really have this high mighty image of me in your head.
today a girl told me that some really hard or maybe not hard, challenging questions must have been so easy for me cuz she thinks im really smart.
The day has just only started and I’m already starting to spiral…
As much as I don’t wish to admit it, not seeing his name pop up in the morning does kinda screw with my day a bit… As much as I try not to be reliant on anyone too much for happiness or anything, it does always bring me a tingle of joy, even if it’s just a simple “good morning”.
But I guess it just all goes back down to that one bitch - expectations.
Sigh… had a long heart-to-heart talk with a friend last night, reminiscing moments and memories about him, her guy, and a couple others. I guess that kinda got carried over to today too, and considering I didn’t exactly sleep good last night. Been up since around 6am now. It’s strange how alcohol keeps me up instead. Or maybe it’s the mix of foods and drinks that I had (or barely had) all day. The appetite’s been bad again, people are noticing too. Also, maybe I’ve been rather open about all these too, including the insomnia. But good news is that the pills are here, though I still haven’t had them yet.
Anyhoo, I mean back to him… Really, I don’t mind initiating another convo again, but I just don’t want it to feel like I’m chasing him way too much or pressurising him into anything. I understand he needs space, I enjoy mine too. Ugh, I guess I just get easily attached when things start to get a little consistent.
But well… things with us have always pretty much been a rollercoaster ride (exactly what my friend said last night too). It’s been on, it’s been off. Good times, cute moments, weird ones, bits of disappearance acts… I’m not sure if I’m just getting desperate at times, but whenever he returns, it’s just the sense of calm washing over you. That, wow, despite whatever it was, he still returned? And I know, my friends have been saying, why are you just taking all the bare minimum and holding on for so long? And like, building relationships is tough and takes time, but also… there should also be a point where you know it’s time to move on. Right?
Maybe it’s the fact I haven’t felt this way in so long, or maybe, ever. Or maybe it’s cos I had never been this close to a guy like this. Maybe it’s cos it was so unexpected that it felt so.. wonderful?
It’s funny, we both seem excited to see each other during work too, but when it happens, we don’t get to speak. I mean, we’re not exactly always given the opportunity either, but… well. Sometimes I wonder if we’re just both nervous and shy about seeing each other irl that we don’t actually go through with any plans of meeting. But also I gotta wonder sometimes if I’m just letting myself be played… Maybe all the signs are there but I just brush it off.. But then sometimes maybe it’s just my anxiety looking at everything from a distorted view. Like I do wanna believe the best and maybe he’s dealing with his own stuff too and needing the space, and he’ll return when he’s ready and all… Just believe, have faith and trust.
Ugh, and I just don’t wanna keep talking about this in circles. Maybe I should just really do it and let him know. If we do something, great, if we don’t, well, probably gonna hurt like a bitch but at least I know to let it go. But I guess once you say it, there’s no taking it back either. I could lose him completely as a friend or what he is right now to me… Or maybe we would get closer, or maybe it could lead to something more. Who knows?
Damn anxiety. Damn overthinking. I just… Can’t I just get a peace of mind?
But I guess writing all these out is helping me get my head straight a little. Talking to some friends, colleagues. Distracting myself for a bit at least. Gah, but work. So much to get done, so little time. I guess considering I’m also procrastinating right now.. Great.
Alright, so now to try to get back to work… Fingers crossed things will get better soon.
We’re halfway through into the first month of this new decade, and that amps up many people’s expectations. People are making resolutions. We look forward to the future with bright hopes, a new weight loss plan, a new gym membership, new ideas, maybe even new friends, and fresh inspiration.
No more will we put off our goals, right? This is the year that we will lose that weight, write that…
Señorita (or señor), this is one of those seasons where we have all these expectations of what should happen, but these lips don’t lie when I tell you that we have all the motivation we need to get through all this PR. 🙌
P.S. thanks Lauren for all these lovely indirects as of late!
Just a thought, being caught in between being a good person and being good to yourself is by far the most difficult internal dilemmas. If I could, I would choose myself but I choose not to, and by doing this, something is at risk. Someone is at risk. I put the “self” at risk. I don’t know if I can be fulfilled by being a good person for others. Being good for others brings you into isolation, and I am not talking about trying to impress others —it is knowing what is expected of you and following the path that is “right” For this, I find myself feeling heavy. Expectations swallow you whole to the point the “self” does not speak anymore.
There is massive confusion happening between who Lauren really is and her industry image. And it’s not being helped by the fact that her music hasn’t been giving us what we’ve expected from her.
And it all comes down to one thing. She’s paying the price.
Lauren has been the whipping dog from the very beginning. Between her and Camila, they were both given solo career head starts before everyone else, but she refused to play their games. She didn’t let them use her like they wanted to until she had no choice. And with Camren, she took the brunt of everything. She had to be the denier. She had to be in PR relationships with Brad, Lucy, Ty. She had to take on the Camren shippers and create drama. She has been the rebel from day one. The fight back, lashing out, confrontation on social media platforms, and stubbornness to remain silent. Lauren’s strength was used against her as her weakness and is now her own worse enemy when it comes to dealing with the hand she’s been given in the music industry.
What is happening now with her solo career and image doesn’t make sense unless you understand that she does not have control over her solo career to the extent that the other ladies do. Lauren has been paying the price drastically for every misstep she has taken. She’s always playing the role they want her to play and every time she deviates she’s punished. Lauren is intelligent, caring and dorky, but because her “rebel” characteristics got her into this mess, her image has been set to be a “rebel” and it’s not always a good rebel image.
Examples of missteps that have landed her where she is: refusing to not be with Camila, not releasing solo projects until right before the other 5H ladies could renegotiate their 5H contract for solo projects as well in 2017, coming out as bisexual, speaking out against the music industry/label/contracts on Tumblr and other social media platforms, addressing industry and contract issues by saying “no comment because my contract doesn’t allow me to” instead of just being silent, and on and on.
This may seem extreme, but every time Lauren goes off the rails a little bit, they make sure she knows it. My biggest bet as to why Simco/Syco still has her rights is because she’s tied to Camila. They have to keep her close under their watch. If they cut Lauren loose, she will be the rebel she is and expose everything. That is the last thing they want. Just look at Ally, she’s out from Sony altogether and she’s releasing a “tell-all” kind of book. And if Lauren really didn’t care about Camila, she wouldn’t be paying the price she is paying now. Camila should’ve been/should be the one taking the heat for a lot of stuff like being so sneakily forthcoming about Camren all the time. The more Camila wants to be publicly friendly with Lauren, the worse it will get for Lauren. It’s like they’ve got them in this perpetual trap where there’s no way for them to actually “come out” without one of them (usually Lauren) being hammered.
But music videos are the key.
Like Camila, Lauren’s music videos are the only way she can tell us the real story she’s secretly been trying to tell us about what’s happening and why she can’t truly be free. Also like Camila, there are hints and secret meanings that only people who follow her intently will understand.
Lauren stated very specifically in her interview with Zach Sang that her music videos are going to tell a story. Let me repeat this. The music videos (not the songs/lyrics) are going to tell a story. Lauren has also said during an Instagram live that Aphrodite has been her inspiration for this album. These two hints she’s given us is enough to figure out what has been happening so far in her Expectations and More Than That music videos.
Expectations
In this music video, good Lauren (dressed in white) is being chased down by bad Lauren (dressed in black). Basically, bad Lauren is trying to get rid of the good Lauren so that only bad Lauren will exist to the public. Sound familiar? But good Lauren still exists – she’s the dove at the end of the music video that bad Lauren holds out for us to see even though it looked like bad Lauren got the best of good Lauren and killed her earlier. Throughout the music video, there are some objects that come up multiple times or are focused in on. Mirrors, white roses, her pearl ring, and the dove. This is where the Aphrodite clue comes in. Some of the symbols of Aphrodite are mirrors, roses, pearls, and doves. So the hidden meaning behind this whole music video is that Lauren is Aphrodite – she herself wants to represent love, beauty, pleasure and procreation – but the bad side of Aphrodite has taken over the good side of Aphrodite and is now what we see before us which is the sexualized, bad rebel Aphrodite. To be continued…
So if you’re slightly confused. The bottom line of the Expectations music video is that Lauren has taken on the bad rebel image for the public eye. She’s hasn’t lost the good rebel image. It’s just not on display when it comes to her music career.
More Than That
Not going to lie. It took me a while to figure out what was happening here, but I finally figured it out. Like I mentioned earlier, the music videos are telling a broader story than the lyrics so you have to really, really, really pay attention and connect the dots.
In this music video, we pick up where we were left off in Expectations. Lauren has now fully embraced the bad and overly sexual side of Aphrodite and has arrived at Olympus (a strip club). What we know about Aphrodite in Greek mythology is that she was very sexual and loved getting into relationships (i.e. wasn’t always faithful). She was irresistible and found ways to satisfy her pleasures. But she was not vulnerable or dependent. She was strong and independent.
So basically bad Lauren/Aphrodite is finding a way to independently satisfy a sexual pleasure in this music video. And because Lauren is bisexual, it happens to be with women instead of men even if though the lyrics of MTT use male pronouns. But the music video representation and imagery answer the question that the lyrics beg to have answered. Is Lauren a cheater? And the answer is no. Lauren is using the bad Lauren/Aphrodite to explain that this is the image that she has to show in public (as we were told in Expectations). Good Lauren/Aphrodite is still in there, it’s just that the bad Lauren/Aphrodite is what she has to portray publicly.
Now the most interesting thing about the end of this music video is that Lauren and her cohorts recreate the famous painting “The Birth of Venus”. Then the camera pans out so we see that this was just a story/image/painting of mythology. It’s not actually real life. It’s like Lauren is saying what has been happening in the public eye is actually an act/not real/public image. Which leaves us wondering, what’s going to happen next? What is she going to divulge next? To be continued…
If you’re slightly confused, the bottom line of the MTT music video is that Lauren is addressing the bad Lauren public image and saying that that’s exactly what it is – an image – so just leave it to be. She can’t do anything about it because that’s the role she has to play so treat it like a painting – look at it, examine it, understand it, and remember it’s just a painting.
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I really hope this helps clear up a lot about what’s happening with Lauren. You have to hand it to her that she has been really intelligent with giving us these real life explanations through her music videos while still pleasing her label with that bad rebel image she needs to play. And when her song choices don’t make sense remember that she doesn’t have a choice in what songs go on her album because out of the 30-50 she probably made, the label will choose the ones they think are best for making $$$ and for her public image (which is why we probably won’t get Toy or Inside on her album :( I love those songs … ).
Also, remember when Lauren goes out and does stuff on her own, we see the good rebel Lauren. She goes to women’s marches and speaks wisdom and positivity. But when we get anything related to her music career – music, music videos, red carpets, interviews, PR relationships, etc. – we get the bad rebel Lauren. Unless she slips up and goes all real life good image Lauren like she’s done a couple times these past couple of months.
Finally, please remember that even though we have bad Lauren on public display, good Lauren is still alive and well. You just have to understand what is happening so you don’t get her “public bad rebel image” confused with her “real life good rebel image”.
Support Lauren Jauregui no matter what! Get ready for LJ1 !
The fact that I think it’s too much to ask not to be ignored lol and then when I dare put my foot down I’m suddenly a raging, unreasonable woman setting up a cage of expectations. When really. I’m asking to not be left on read for every damn thing. It’s rude.
I know teachers mean to be encouraging but the worse thing to hear is “even though you did fine, I know you can do better Sam” because now I feel just feel like I’ve disappointed them
