Man I just woke up what is going on why is it not Saturday but some fucking Monday what the hell.

“you’re so lucky to have so many days off” bitch I almost lost my life I don’t have a fucking education to keep me alive I’ve lost my friendships and I’ve changed entirely as a person you shut your fucking mouth.

When you go to school and your friends are treating you weird for barely coming in you can’t learn anything in class that one guy keep staring at you and talking about you to his friends (they stalk your tiktok) everyone thinks your weird as fuck the people who you made a good impression on think you’re creepy the people are too loud the hallways are too crowded and this all btw depends on your life

when school becomes so stressful you LITERALLY LITERALLY ACTUALLY can’t fucking move and your friends call you lucky for having so many days off 😹😹😹

You aren’t fucking pretty enough to be this stupid

Ok, but how is it a school that accommodates ‘Everyone’s needs’ if other students are degrading and being rude about my needs?

I really wish that my family had money so I could go to one of those posh private schools that are just for boys. I’d give anything, man.

I’m just trying so hard, but somehow still feel like I’m not trying enough. And y'know either way I’m failing, so does it even matter? -🦜

Being home sick as a mentally ill teen and just getting a break from school is DANGEROUS knowing that It’s technically not obligatory and that i can just.. not..?

But mom is throwing headache meds on me and saying “if ur gonna stay home for another day you will call the hospital” and now I give up and go to school

I’m doing terrible, both physically and mentally, but I still feel so guilty about not going to school today…

Today I decided to focus on my wellbeing more than my grades and I know I will be punished for that.

Why is schoolwork and homework so difficult?? Not like in a “i don’t understand” way, but in a “in every aspect, i am exhausted and full of dread” way. I completely get the material, usually extremely well, it’s just the action of actually *doing* said assignments and being physically and mentally capable of it. I hate being chronically ill, i like half this shit, so why can’t i just do it?

I just had to write 819 words on paper…

[🏫 vent]

i hate the fact that i literally cried over my own midterm exam. 51/70. and the passing is 20. 51 is not even a shit grade, why’d i have to cry over such things?? it would make sense if i got 19 or below, but the fact that i got 51/70 and my crying made my mother feel disappointed makes me feel ashamed. ☹️

‼️vent‼️

im so tired of doing math over and over and over again when im not even learning anything. each unit just punches my brain and leaves. it doesnt leave behind information, simply scars i could only dream of existing just so people will finally see that my life is worth more than my ability to “problem solve”. this isnt teaching me problem solving. its teaching me that problems pile up and unless youre privileged, they will inevitably be the end of you.

non poetic version:

when i try to learn math i dont learn anything. i just start daydreaming about running into a busy road so that when im in the hospital people will put my needs before my grades. all thats been on my mind is how much longer i can take before my “but that’ll never happen” scenarios become reality.

if this is the end of me, tell my story in schools. for my sake, give my classmates a day off of homework. give those with broken legs extra time to reach the finish line, before their legs fall off before the end of the race.

Teachers when a kid is clearly emotionally exhausted and tells them directly that they don’t trust their parents: “Yeah I’ll tell their parent about the letter. Surely he’ll act reasonable even though the student clearly wrote that they are overwhelmed and have no one to count on!”

vent tw

hey uh so hahahah yall know how ive been improving in art a shit ton over the year? yeah thats thanks to my game dev class.

guess what they just fucking cut.

i’m. crying. like actively. that was the only class i enjoyed. i stopped skipping school because i was so excited to go. i made friends, i made enemies (not actually lol), i got permission to yell cusswords on school property because godot crashes for the 5th time.

so. i may be a bit distant/upset. the reason they said behind why they cut it was because of:

ALT

which, is bullshit. you are actively turning us away from our career interests. i can’t do work as a UI/UX artist in a class for graphic design. yeah, i can apply some stuff to it. but things like animation, clarity, integration with external programs like game engines and 3d engines (godot, ue, blender, maya), and working on small scales aren’t really present in graphic design, let alone ever for game engine and 3d engine intergration.

i hate this career path.

ai art, ai coding, lack of pay for indie, lack of control & creativity for AAA, and now we’re cutting access to things meant to teach our children how to go into this industry.

we were supposed to do a course this year to get certification in UE. they cut that course after first semester because it literally didn’t help us. then, 2 weeks later, program is cut. not even joking. they didn’t even tell us in person. this was an email only sent to the parents 3 hours after classes ended.

I am absolutely

Crying in my bed

No.

IM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL.

I DESPISE YOU.

I FRICKING DESPISE SCHOOL

And

NO

I HATE IT

I- AAAUUUGHHHJJGYJFDG-

Raise your had if the school quarter just started and your already emotionally exhausted

✋

I hate these stupid fuckin “get to know me” worksheets, i don’t want you to know shit about me. Ever. I’m uncomfortable telling you anything beyond “I’m disabled and need this to function,” i even hate my name. I DON’T wanna tell you my hobbies or personal interests or career choices or what i do outside of school. I sit here for an hour a day, i shut up and listen, that should be enough. I’m deeply uncomfortable with this.