meows at you neurodivergently

I love autistic joy cuz wdym I’m jumping and flapping my hands because I put up fairy lights and got cute washi tape

We’re always hearing about the great apes but what about the sub-par apes? Or the mediocre apes?

Yeah I don’t think I took my ADHD meds today.

Emotions I’m somewhat convinced are exclusive to allistic people:

• Shame
• Pity

Will update later when I’m supposed to feel something but I don’t.

> writing a reluctant hero novel for writing class

> wants to write it about nova the space station janitor (from an earlier prompt) who is a middle-aged lady janitor who genuinely loves her job but all of a sudden people are leaving their trash everywhere and it’s actually an elaborate scheme put together by the second in command

> the main character has to be between 12-18

> this ruins all my plans

> switches to fantasy

> changes mind and goes back to sci-fi

> decides to write a main character who is doing an internship of sorts on a space station

> decides the character should be an alien

> decides the character should be autistic

> decides to make a second character who is also an alien and has adhd

> decides they will be the only aliens on the station as a social commentary on masking and being forced to fit in with society especially as a woman

> realizes i don’t know how to world build

> do i need to world build??

> help

Learning to rap to “Fight ‘Till I’m Good Enough” by The Living Tombstone because I want to also AuDHD.

Unboxing videos but for mental disorders and Neurodivergent diagnoses.

“So, I also decided to splurge and get both types of ADHD, this one’s inattentive and this one’s hyperactive. Both come with executive dysfunction and a free random hyper fixation. The two I got were…Greek Mythology and Movie quotes, so that’s cool.”

:)

Here’s a reminder that everyone is safe here in my blog. If you’re still unsure:

Age regressors (padded, not padded, infant regressors, kid regressors, teen regressors, etc.)

Pet regressors

Alterhumans who don’t do quads or express their identity in any way

Alterhumans who express their identity in every way they can

Plantkin, objectkin, etc. are welcome

ALL paraphilias are welcome here (yes, even the harmful ones if you are anti-contact!)

LGBTQ+ people (neos, xenos, and micro labels are welcome too!)

Disabled people (including high support needs people, AAC users, deaf people, those who have psychosis, people who use mobility aids, etc. you are all accepted here!)

Those with zoanthropy/lycanthropy

Critters who don’t like being called humans or people

Those under 18 and over 18 (please do not share your age here if you are under 18. This also is not meant to invite sexual conversations keep that away from here.)

Please note:

I do not care if you have occasionally posted or reblogged NSFW things. As long as your account isn’t a straight up NSFW blog you’re likely fine to be here, I’m an older teen so it doesn’t bother me and that’s the audience I am catering to, but please be mindful of everyone here.

If you have your age stated on your account and you are under 16 or over 21, I will not message you. You can interact with my page, but I will not respond to you if you fit one of those categories and if you don’t have it listed I will ask you because I want all conversations I have to be safe for everyone involved.

there’s an ad about blonde something on here that’s ENITRELY flashing visuals, so please be warned and everyone who sees it needs to report it

^^^^ it says this up top, and don’t use ONLY the flashing button in reports. report it repeatedly and as broken and dangerous as well.

yes I am going to headcanon every one of my favorite male characters as autistic gay and transgender and there will be no exemptions.

Autism Awareness: My Surprise Day Teaching 3rd Grade #Autism #TeacherLife

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/d95hdSPOd4Y

via Matthew Kenslow
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3pjt4Ra47L_pYsS9SPJcmg
March 15, 2026 at 06:31AM

Yeosang and his autistic swag: an extremely speculative post

Okay let’s get all the disclaimers out of the way first: I am not a mental health professional in any way, I’m not diagnosing him, I don’t know the real Yeosang, I’m basing all this largely on ~vibes~ based on my own experiences with autism/adhd. If you don’t like discussions of idols’ potential neurodivergence, please just keep scrolling and move on and pretend you never saw this. Okay? Okay.

So, let’s talk about Yeosang, and more specifically about how I think there might be a touch (/a lot) of autism and/or some other flavour of neurodivergence happening here and how that might be affecting him in his career. I’ve seen a lot of people lately mentioning him being autistic as if it’s already a commonly accepted fact so I’m clearly not the only one thinking this, but I’m making this post anyway lol. A lot of the points I make in this post separately don’t necessarily mean anything, and this is by no means meant as diagnostic, but all combined they paint an interesting picture.

For this post, I will assume everyone reading it has some basic knowledge about autism/adhd, and I don’t need to go into too many explanations about things like sensory overload, masking, stimming etc.

I would also like to add that I also have autism myself, so a lot of this is just me doing this at Yeosang:

So anyway, let’s go!

Body language/movement ~vibes~

One of the first times I had an ‘oh’ moment was when I saw this clip of him talking to Mingi, where they don’t know they’re being filmed. There’s a lot of body language happening here that reads very distinctly neurodivergent to me. The swaying back and forth, the way he moves his head, the specific way he mostly avoids making eye contact.

(Side note: eye contact or the lack thereof is very often quoted as a typical sign of autism but it is a VERY complicated one, and people very rarely remember to take things into account like culture, gender, and whether someone forced themselves to learn anyway when talking about it, which is why I say 'the specific way’.)

And once I started paying attention to it, I couldn’t unsee it anymore. He has a specific way of avoiding making eye contact, when he’s not dancing he moves his body in a really specific, sometimes almost jerky way.

This is one of those things that’s very hard to put your finger on exactly what it is, but once you notice it’s there, you can’t stop seeing it.

I also noticed he has a specific way of moving when someone is trying to physically touch him or, god forbid, kiss him. Immediately his shoulders go up, his hands go up, and he stares straight ahead while moving his entire torso away.

T-rex hands and all.

This move is incredibly endearing to me, and it reads as wildly neurodivergent to me too.

Then there’s the way he runs, which in itself is not necessarily neurodivergent, but 'weird’ ways of running are common in people with autism, and Yeosang’s way of running is. interesting. (and very cute.)

Not good with sudden situations/improvising

I’ve seen him get completely stuck whenever someone goes off script and just stubbornly continue with the script anyway. There’s one moment during Fireworks promotions where Soobin interviews them, and goes off script when asking Yeosang a question, and Yeosang stutters, laughs, and then tries to bring the conversation back to the script. (San meanwhile shouts something about “he’s going off script!” or “he’s improvising!” which is an interesting thing to loudly point out, rather than just going along with it.) Now, presumably, he is probably also flustered by the sudden compliments about his muscles. But instead of just saying 'oh thank you’ or 'here’s an exercise I recommend’, or going along with Soobin in any way, he falters. This, combined with the yelling about Soobin going off script, makes me think that it’s the improvising bit that he’s struggling with.

You can also see it whenever anyone (especially San) does something sudden that involves him. His main response is to just go ? and freeze.

Special interest and hyperfixations

I know we like to make fun of Wooyoung and his new hobby ever 3-6 months, but Yeosang also cycles through interests and whenever he has one, he seemingly goes deep. From multiple books on investing, to doing math on set because he’s bored, to his drones, his games, the list goes on. But most noteworthy: I would argue his interest in cosmetics/perfume/supplements/working out borders on or fully is a hyperfixation, and maybe even a long term special interest. From bulking up insanely fast last year, to carrying a bag full of bottles of supplements and vitamins, to constantly trying out new skincare products and combinations and then coming online to talk to us about it.

I have wondered before if his being banned from the gym is less of a “he is genuinely banned because of idol reasons” and more of a “this is a hyperfixation and if no one stops him he will completely overdo it and get lost in it, and he sometimes has to be stopped for his own good” thing. This is pure speculation of course, but something to consider in the context of hyperfixations.

Other members have also pointed out before that if Yeosang is not interested in something, he will ignore it or forget it, and that this has caused issues before where he doesn’t know what’s being expected of him because he tuned it out (more on this later).

Food

This boy has opinions about food and they’re all weird and I love that for him and for us.

I know the common stereotype for people with autism is that we’re picky eaters, that we have certain safe foods, have a lot of opinions on the texture of food, and tend to prefer bland foods.

And Yeosang, well. I don’t get the sense he’s a very picky eater, but he definitely has some things going on when it comes to food. A lot of it gets put under the 'healthy eating/idol diet’ umbrella but he 1) apparently can’t handle spicy food very well, 2) has lactose intolerance, 3) lowkey has an obsession with chicken, which could function somewhat like a safefood for him.

Which makes this This Or That video where he picks his favourite spicy foods really funny. He’s really pretending to think about it while just going for the chicken for most of the video. (Also look at his body language and the way he kind of sways around here, too)

And another commonly forgotten autistic thing: super weird food combinations. Like say, oh I don’t know, kimbap with nutella. Ateez also recently complained about his putting ketchup in ramen, but to be completely honest that one doesn’t sound very odd to me.

Doesn’t know how to deal with affection/attention

He seemingly has no clue whatsoever how to handle any kind of affection or attention and tends to just freeze and look the other way. He’s actually said before that he really likes the attention but doesn’t know how to react and that he feels sorry (especially to San) for it. His body just reacts for him and flinches away, and he doesn’t know how to react verbally, so instead most of the time he just freezes, or continues whatever he was doing, just now with a boy attached to him.

He’s not very good at starting skinship/affection by himself either. In fact, he’s very, very bad at touching anyone, even if it’s to get their attention to ask them something. This is extremely relatable to me personally, as this is also something I struggle with lol. For me, it’s a matter of having been taught to wait my turn and to not interrupt people, and my autistic ass latched onto that as a distinct rule I always have to follow. To this day, I will just quietly wait until someone is done with a conversation and turns to me before I ask them anything, and I see Yeosang do the same thing very often.

Now I would like to add the caveat here that Yeosang went through a massive hate train directed at him for, if I remember correctly, “daring to come between woosan” or some such nonsense. But something like that would make anyone hesitant with skinship/affection.

There are some exceptions to all this:

Especially lately, he’s been more accepting of San’s affection and is managing to play along with it more. He’s also more okay with Jongho and Hongjoong’s affections, probably because the two of them are more lowkey about it and comparatively “safer” since they’re not very likely to also start kissing him unlike some other members.

There is also one very notable exception to all this: Mingi.

I am very intrigued by Mingi and Yeosang together. Despite Ateez’s running joke that the two of them are awkward with each other, Yeosang seems to me to be the least awkward with Mingi. He touches Mingi easily, plays with him, picks him up when he’s throwing a tantrum, and just generally the two of them seem very soft with each other and fond of each other. (Which ties in very nicely with my suspicion that Mingi, too, is extremely neurodivergent, and the two of them together is really just two ND’s bouncing off each other in ways that confuse everyone else but makes sense to them.)

Doesn’t know how to deal with conflict either

In my experience, people with autism either speak up really bluntly about things that bother them, or they don’t speak up at all. Yeosang’s in the latter category here. There are countless videos of the other members taking the food right out of his hand, of them drinking his drink, and just in general being a nuisance, while Yeosang just stares at them and does absolutely nothing. (The exceptions to this are chicken and Mingi. If he has chicken, or if it’s Mingi being annoying, suddenly he knows how to fight.)

I can’t find the source for it, but I do vaguely remember Wooyoung mentioning dealing with spam calls for Yeosang, because Yeosang himself would just let them spam him.

And then there is the notorious Christmas live, in which other members speak up on Yeosang’s behalf when Wooyoung accuses him of ignoring him. They don’t even let Yeosang start, they just immediately start speaking up for him. When Yeosang does talk, he doesn’t mention any emotions, just “I tried to treat everyone the same” and “I think about Wooyoung more than he thinks I do”. (also note that when Wooyoung pulls him in for a hug, Yeosang stiffens and keeps talking, which is yet another example of how he just keeps going with whatever he was doing when sometime tries to hug him.)

Now let’s also look at what other members have said about him:

Hongjoong has stated before that Yeosang’s one of their most difficult children. They consistently have to explain everything twice, because he just doesn’t listen. He forgets things he doesn’t deem important.

There was also a clip the other day that I can’t for the life of me find again, of Seonghwa saying he was proud of Yeosang for learning how to deal with sudden situations, like his in-ears not working. This suggests there was a time he did not know how to deal with these situations, which I think is confirmed by moments like Soobin going off script. This is conjecture of course, but I would not be surprised if there have been some meltdowns here and there where someone had to come in and help him calm down.

I’ve already mentioned Mingi and how much I love seeing him and Yeosang together above, so I won’t go into that again, but I would like to take a little extra moment to talk about San, because although all of them clearly love Yeosang to bits, San goes above and beyond in showing his affection for Yeosang. From shouting about how cute he is to arguing with Atinys over who gets to have Yeosang, San’s incredibly noisy about Yeosang. And this does multiple things: San gets to be his extremely affectionate self, he gets to talk to and about Yeosang constantly, but it also brings attention to Yeosang, something he’s, let’s be real here, not great at doing himself. He tends to be quiet and disappear in the background, but San seems to have made it his personal mission to make sure everyone knows Yeosang is there and that he’s amazing and we should all look at him (but ONLY look. no touch.)

Ateez in general have talked about how 'pure’ and 'innocent’ Yeosang is, and how they feel like they have to protect him and help him. This is extremely common with people with autism, both the 'I feel like I have to protect them’ and the 'they’re so pure and would never hurt anyone ever’. It’s debatable how true this sentiment is, though for Yeosang it does seem to be. By all accounts, including that of Ateez members, he really is very soft and kind and would never harm a fly and needs a lot of help and protecting.

I do wonder to what extent the members have picked up on there potentially being autism at play, or if they mostly just think he’s soft and quirky and a bit peculiar. I do also think this is in general a very neurodivergent group (which also tracks, we tend to just find each other somehow), and I could probably make similar posts to this one about several other members, but it’s impossible to tell how much of this they know themselves, considering the notoriously terrible state of mental health support in South Korea. Which leads me to the next topic:

Autism in Korea and how it might affect Yeosang

Now, I’m not Korean, and I won’t pretend I know what it’s like to be Korean and especially not what it’s like to be autistic in Korea. I definitely come at all this with an incredibly Western European perspective.

But I think we all know that mental health in general is still very stigmatized in most parts of the world and especially countries like South Korea, even if celebrities have been opening up about some of it. I’ve seen idols and actors talk about depression and anxiety (I’m sure we all know of Mingi’s hiatus for anxiety). I’ve seen some mentions of ADHD here and there, too. idle’s Soyeon has explicitly said she has ADHD, as have BTS’ Jungkook, 2NE1’s Park Bom, Itzy’s Ryujin, and many more.

But the only time I can remember that I’ve seen autism mentioned was when BTS’ Suga helped fund an autism center at a hospital. There are no artists who have explicitly stated they’re autistic.

So clearly ADHD is more 'accepted’ (and I use this word very loosely) in idol world, at least, while autism is not. I have no answers as to why this is, nor if this is a trend in the rest of Korean society too. But it would explain why maybe Yeosang (and some other idols) never talk about this, possibly never even considered they might have it, or actively deny it.

But the thing a lot of people with autism can confirm is that neurotypicals seem to just absolutely hate you. This is actually backed by research too: people tend to consider autistic people to be weird, off-putting, abrasive, or rude even. You can be the sweetest person in existence with a permanent smile on your face, but if you have autism, even - or especially - undiagnosed? Well rip, good luck with that one.

And, to go into some conjecture again: I wonder if this is related to his lack of solo schedules. If he has (undiagnosed or undisclosed) autism, that could be setting him up for failure even with his best efforts. It might be someone within KQ stopping him, it might be people from outside meeting him and going no thank you, it might be Yeosang himself unconsciously and unintentionally sabotaging himself. I’m not saying this is THE answer to the lack of solo schedules issue, but it could be *A* answer, or part of one.

I personally have struggled a lot with just being forgotten, including people in charge completely passing me over for jobs/promotions I’d be completely suited for, and them only going “oh, now that you mention it, you really would have been great for this function” after they already filled the position with someone else. I don’t know how much of this is related to my autism or if it’s a similar problem for Yeosang, but he does seem to struggle with the same thing I do which is that somehow things never quite work out, no matter how hard we work for it. And he has explicitly said he seems to have to work harder than other people for the same (or even less) results.

This, too, is sadly extremely common in people with autism. We tend to have less friendships and smaller social circles, higher unemployment, and trouble keeping jobs when we do have them. Life is harder for a lot of people with autism than it is for neurotypical people.

I know a lot of us love our little autistic Yeosang jokes, but let’s not forget that autism comes with very serious real life ramifications, even in relatively accepting cultures, let alone ones like South Korea.

I love Yeosang, he’s my bias for many reasons, including that I think he’s so kind, and so funny (his humour is highly underrated imo), and his voice is incredibly beautiful. I really do want the best for him, and definitely more than what he’s getting now. But I do worry about him, too. And if he really does have autism? I hope he has some kind of support system in place for that. I hope he knows there’s a lot of people out here that will love him, autism and all.

(and if there’s only one Yeosang fan left in the world, please know it means San killed me.)

when they’re trying to win the “weird girl olympics” of tiktok but you grew up with undiagnosed autism until you were 20

i will be reading this book today. i got it in a museum gift shop.

The demo for Wizard Magic will be out soon! In the meantime, Wishlist on Steam! :D

i am cleaning my bookshelf. very messy. i cleaned one today. before and after. it didn’t take much time but it took much effort to make myself do it. be proud of me. before and after.

My PSA for a Healthy Colon (also known as “My Last Week.”)

Dear Readers, I’m of the age where I needed to get a colonoscopy, it’s a long story and other videos had to be rescheduled, but I’m hopeful to get back into the swing of things soon.

Suffice it to say that I’d recommend it to keep yourself safe and healthy, please consider this post my PSA about getting a colonoscopy, thanks to the comedy of the late Robin Williams.

Until next post, Dear…

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i yearn for a home that has never existed that i don’t even know if it’s achievable. i want a place where people love me as i am, i have a few pets, a small greenhouse and library, and i can do the job of my dreams.

really i just want an ideal life. but i’m not sure i can even have the first thing in the list.

Eaten berries and creme while naked on my floor blankey and watching youtubes ^u^ #berrygirl #withcreme