Guys, I weigh 104.1 pounds! Yay!

Week 32/33/34/35 - The Scales Have Fallen From Mine Eyes

Forgive me father, it has been four weeks since my last confession.

Have I sinned in that time? Undoubtedly.

Since i last took the time to write life has been chocca. First there was Lewis to see my folks and friends with our son, then Athens as a family, then Paris with my wife and pals just last weekend.

At work things have gone from zero to ninety with a ‘perfect storm’ of colleague absences for one reason or another. Given we are a small family business it has put new pressure on everybody. Maybe it was what I was needing to jolt me to reality.

This pressure of work has meant I have had to cut back on the 10 gym sessions a week, partly due to time constraints (and the desire to show I am a team player) and just…fatigue.

The various upheavals have knocked a hole in my routines which I am currently trying to grapple with. I am just about back in the saddle after all the excitement, with nightly prepping my yoghurt pot breakasts and gym kit. But there are only so many hours in the day, right?

The one unifying and, it has to be said, gratifying thread over the last few weeks is the support of friends and relatives who haven’t seen me in a while commenting on my weight loss.

It makes me feel I am achieving something.

I am constantly amazed how many of my friends are on their own health journey. As a wise person once said to me 'Remember, be nice, everyone has their own thing going on.’

Before we go any further I should admit at this juncture that I have not been near a set of scales in weeks. I don’t know how much I weigh. If you are tuned in for that, sorry to disappoint.

I am not sure exactly why that is, probably a desire to avoid 'flatline frustration’ but what I can say is I feel, in myself - and I have gotten a lot better at reading my own body in the last few months - that I am probably within a kilo or so of my last reading.

Over the course of a month a kilo off on a dose of 7.5mg of Mounjaro is hardly inspiring, I know, but I am not sweating it.

Since I last wrote the days are now noticeably longer, the crocuses and daffs are now out in Edinburgh in full bloom, and it feels like everyone is just a little bit more chipper. My wife’s niece has just given birth to a beautiful baby girl, and our own kids are in good health.

I have come in yet another new notch on Uncle Colin’s belt and I am really adding in more resistence training into my schedule. I can feel muscles.

I can sit on planes and not have to ask for a belt extension (yes, that happened in the past) and I can have the table down without sucking in my gut.

On the other side of the coin I am really aware I do still have a belly I need to tackle, and that the push buttons on my 2XL (the indignity) denim shirt I bought in Athens will still pop if i sit the wrong way. Sobering.

I should probably do a separate blog about the vagaries of clothes sizing, but my philiosophy these days can be summed up simply as 'if the cap fits, wear it’.

So where are we looking towards the last quarter of a year on Mounjaro? My weight loss has slowed, maybe even stalled, but I can live with that.

And the reason I can live with that is that I feel…well, and I know I have the ability to knuckle down and go up the gears.

I have just had a cooked breakfast which I intend to earn retrospectively with a good long walk around the town.

Then I am going to plop my arse in front of a telly and watch Scotland compete for the Six Nations trophy.

Carlsberg Saturdays? Let us pray.

Trying out different outfit combos for tonight and I can tell I’ve been losing a little weight bc I can fit into some clothes that I couldn’t before for a while! I’ve been trying to eat healthier and exercise more and it looks like it’s working so far! Pretty stoked tbh. I just want to be healthier and also I got sick of having to keep buying new clothes in bigger sizes, couldn’t use half my wardrobe lol.

thank fucking christttttt ive gained >30lbs over the past couple years and god willing iwill continue 🥳

This hypermetabolism stuff has to be a joke. Fym I need to eat 4-5 meals a day with snacks in between to stay at a healthy weight???

IM TIRED OF FUCKING EATING 🫩

about weight

He pesado desde 47 kilos hasta 112 entre los 17 y los 24.

Subí de 47 a 55 cuando tenía de 17 a 19.
Subí de 55 a 75 de los 19 a los 21.
Y de 75 a 112 de los 21 a los 24.

De los 24 hasta ahora he bajado a 55, luego subido a 64, luego bajado a 60, luego subido a 68, y así año tras año.

Y aun así, nunca me he sentido delgada.
Nunca me han llamado delgada. Ni siquiera cuando pesaba 47 kilos. Siempre fui la gordita del grupo, la simpática.

No es algo que me moleste, pero siempre me ha parecido curioso que ahora, con 40 kilos menos y mucho más músculo, vea fotos mías de cuando tenía 19 o 20 y piense:

¿Quién le dijo a esa Frida que era la persona más gigante del mundo?
¿Y por qué ella se veía así?

Quizá nunca lo sepa.
Quizá nunca deje de verme así.

—————————————————————————–

I’ve weighed anywhere from 104 to 247 pounds between the ages of 17 and 24.

I went from 104 to 121 pounds between 17 and 19.
From 121 to 165 pounds between 19 and 21.
And from 165 to 247 pounds between 21 and 24.

From 24 until now I’ve gone down to 121, back up to 141, down to 132, up again to 150, and like that year after year.

And still, I’ve never felt thin.
I’ve never been called thin. Not even when I weighed 104 pounds. I was always the chubby one of the group, the funny one.

It doesn’t really bother me, but I’ve always found it strange that now, with almost 90 pounds less and a lot more muscle, I look at pictures of myself at 19 or 20 and think:

Who told that version of Frida she was the biggest person in the world?
And why did she see herself that way?

Maybe I’ll never know.
Maybe I’ll never stop seeing myself like that.

I’m getting fat and uncomfortable in my body :/

Czy są tu jakieś motylki wgl…haloo odzywajcie się!!

Hejka błagam was motylki o pomoc. Błagam was piszcie, co mam robić.

Próbowałam już drugi raz wywołać wymioty. Szczoteczka, palce, nic nie działa. Doszło do tego że zaczęłam wymiotować jakąś wydzielina i krwią, ale nic z tego co zjadłam nie wyszło… nie chcę tego robić na stałe, ale wtedy gdy zjem za dużo. Tak się dzisiaj stało. Niestety nie udało się zwymiotować. Proszę was, piszcie jak z tym sobie radzić. Miło mi będzie jak też ktoś odezwie się na pv. Chcę poznać jakiegoś motylka i moc się wspierać w trudnych momentach…bardzo tego potrzebuje. Liczę na was.

I have been dealing with some health shit and am currently seeing a specialist and the very first thing that happened at my very first appointment in that office was me standing on a scale. And the nurse was so good about handling the fact that I do not want to know my weight and I left that office not knowing and a fucking app for a piece of medical equipment didn’t allow for that same respect and so I saw my fucking weight while I was clicking around.

Starving myself feels euphoric. I crave feeling and being skinny. I want to be so skinny ppl r concerned about how I look

how do i lose weight? i hate my body

27 lbs down!

If anyone was looking for a good movie bout ED this one is really good. I watched it once and like, it was enough, but it really helped understand some things. And in the end, it’s kinda weird but it’s really cool so yeah, watch it!😊

Hot take:

Eating disorders can be extremely traumatic,

in recovery, the idea of even knowing my weight makes me terrified, like I feel if a doctor told me to step on a scale I might throw up or run away.

Lost 10 more lbs aince January

40 pounds since October

Not normal.

But if there somehow isnt anything wrong w me…. then gooddd

most women are obsessed with having big boobs at some point, usually from puberty into our 20s or 30s, i hate how “desirable” and pushed it is, like the lengths we will go to to achieve it, but then also the lack of education around it.

i have the smallest boobs in my whole family, i’m a cis woman and won’t ever have more than an A cup, everyone else in my family is C+, but i was underweight through all of puberty due to being extremely active and having undiagnosed ADHD habits like locking in and forgetting to eat, so it will just never happen for me and i wish someone had explained to me the importance of having some weight on during those years. but no one did. like yeah i was made fun of for being skinny, but no one ever said it would make my body unhealthy, no one ever helped me remember to eat more regularly.

now, i’m just lamenting from baby me. i’m pretty happy w my body now that i’m older and my brain has leveled out. my boobs look great, and honestly when i’m working out regularly (again, hard while unmedicated but i have heart problems so i’m prob never gonna take ADHD meds), everything looks great.

no real point to this post, venting my own personal feelings to the void okay, i know this doesn’t matter and shouldn’t even bother me, but w/e it does. i want kids to be ACTUALLY taught about their bodies so that they can have more of an active choice in how they end up looking as adults, and how healthy they are long term (being underweight during puberty cal also come with actual health consequences, not just cosmetic ones). i genuinely think it’s healthy to have goals about how you want to look, and the more you understand about how your body works, the better, literally always.