The Age of Betweenness: Insights on the Early Years of Adulthood
Blog by Tatiana Isabel E. Demecillo
Early adulthood is often described as a season of discovery and transition—a stage where youth meets maturity, and dreams begin to take tangible form. This period of life opens new doors of opportunities that we cannot easily encounter during our younger years.
For a 22-year-old college student like “K” balancing academics, coaching duties, and self-discovery, this stage represents both growth and growing pains. It is a time of chasing independence, facing challenges, and learning how to build a life of one’s own—one decision, one experience, one realization at a time.
Physical Development
At 22, the human body is typically near its physical peak—full of energy, strength, and endurance. Yet for many college students, just like “K”, this potential is often overshadowed by the demands of academic and social life. As a full-time student and coach, maintaining physical health can feel impossible. Long nights of study and training sessions lead to missed meals and disrupted sleep schedules.
Eating habits have become a challenge—meals are skipped for extra sleep, and chips sometimes replace real food. What once began as a matter of convenience has now become a routine. “K” is fully aware of the consequences this routine brings, but adapting to healthier habits remains a challenge since her existing habit is convenient for her schedule. This stage reflects what developmental psychologists note: early adulthood often brings freedom but also health-compromising patterns, especially when responsibilities outweigh self-care.
Despite these challenges, there remains awareness and accountability. Influences from social media—especially creators who promote healthy lifestyles—serve as gentle reminders of the importance of change. Though motivation wavers, the recognition of long-term consequences marks maturity in thought and awareness of physical well-being.
Cognitive Development
Adulthood brings new ways of thinking—more flexible, practical, and adaptive than in adolescence. In college, real-life problem solving often replaces textbook scenarios. When faced with team conflicts as a coach, “K” no longer dwells on mistakes made by her or by her athletes, but to organize, assign tasks, and keep morale intact. This ability to stay calm and solution-oriented reflects postformal thought, a concept that describes adult reasoning as more realistic and emotionally balanced. She mentioned that if she was still in high school, she would usually remain stuck on her mistake, which reflects an improvement on how she addresses problems.
Career exploration also defines this stage. As a customs administration student, possibilities stretch from brokerage and logistics to entrepreneurship and law, which are also paths that she considered taking in the future. The desire to “start from the bottom” to learn the system before building a career shows a blend of ambition and practicality—a mature outlook shaped by real-world understanding. This shows that “K” thinks of the many possibilities in her field of study rather than a one-way career path.
Financial stability is a strong motivator. “K” stated that she often gets what she wants last among the siblings, hence, her desire for financial freedom. She used to think that passion and financial stability can always go hand-in-hand when finding meaningful work. But as she grows older, it is now understood that meaningful work can also come from security, growth, and independence. This shift captures the essence of emerging adulthood—the balance between idealism and pragmatism.
Education, too, has shaped perspective. Exposure to the realities of the customs field—both its integrity and corruption—has broadened critical awareness of societal systems. This reflection echoes a change in her way of thinking. Instead of choosing what is right or wrong, she starts to understand the complexities of ideas.
Socioemotional Development
Emotionally, early adulthood is marked by identity exploration—figuring out who one is beyond family, school, and expectations. College has fostered a stronger sense of responsibility and emotional regulation. Decisions are now made more thoughtfully, less impulsively—a sign of growing maturity and emotional intelligence.
Relationships, both familial and social, have also shifted. The distance from home results in a decrease in conversations and a reduction in quality time spent with family, a situation that arose from her frequent travels outside their hometown for competitions or school-related events. Yet this separation fosters independence, according to “K”. She was able to explore more of herself and her other relationships with people outside the family. Friendships have evolved too—from seeking belonging to valuing trust and sincerity. The focus now is on genuine connections rather than social circles.
Views on love have deepened: from seeing romance as purely joyful to understanding it as acceptance, compromise, and growth.“K” shared that she has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for nearly two years. Initially, she believed that being in a relationship would resemble the ones she had observed and read about online. However, she quickly understood that romantic commitments encompass more than just that, which ultimately resulted in her adopting a more practical and rational perspective instead of being solely emotionally influenced. This emotional maturity aligns with Erik Erikson’s stage of Intimacy vs. Isolation, where young adults seek meaningful bonds built on understanding and shared values.
Milestones
Milestones in early adulthood typically focus on independence and responsibility. For a 22-year-old, expenses like funding their own seminars or tournaments signify more than just financial stability; they reflect a sense of self-sufficiency.
Additionally, graduation approaches as both an exhilarating and nerve-wracking milestone—a shift into the “real world” filled with unpredictability yet brimming with opportunities. Reflecting on the past, the transition from high school to college was a pivotal experience. It broadened one’s outlook—from concentrating on a single objective to appreciating the larger picture and the multiple avenues life can present.
As one looks forward, aspirations for financial independence, personal development, and potentially establishing a family create a vision of satisfaction that harmonizes ambition with practicality.
Challenges
Early adulthood is often called the “age of in-betweenness”—no longer a teenager, yet not fully an adult. This feeling resonates deeply for “K”, especially as she experienced the pandemic, where she was not able to process the transition of responsibilities and opportunity fully. There’s a quiet longing to “make up” for a youth spent focusing on responsibilities rather than leisure, yet an awareness that adulthood is already calling.
The biggest pressures come from balancing academic life, coaching duties, and administrative work—an exhausting juggling act. Anxiety about job hunting and financial independence also lingers, especially with fears of entering toxic work environments that “K” often heard from the adults she had spent time with as a coach. Independence, though empowering, can also feel heavy when the weight of responsibility is yours alone.
Pleasures and Rewards
Amidst the turmoil, early adulthood also represents a time of potential. The excitement of securing a job, enjoying financial freedom, and traveling the globe brings happiness and inspiration. Gaining independence and the ability to make personal choices without constant oversight feels empowering.
“K” finds joy in simple pleasures such as reading comics or watching anime to provide solace during stressful times. These small delights illustrate the self-centered exploration characteristic of emerging adulthood, where people embrace the chance to focus on their personal development and interests.
The most profound realization, however, is that seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness—it is a demonstration of strength. A college memory when “K” consults with a guidance counselor echoes this sentiment: “Even when you stumble, you can rise again albeit slowly.” This blend of humility and optimism captures the essence of early adulthood: the journey of learning, unlearning, and personal growth.
Conclusion
Early adulthood is not just about achieving milestones—it’s about understanding oneself amidst the uncertainty. It is a time of building habits, shaping identities, and finding meaning in small victories. Though challenges persist, every skipped meal, every late-night reflection, and every quiet act of perseverance form the foundation of a resilient, independent adult in the making.