i call my partner.
me: “hey babe? yeah is it cool if [name] and I kinda go on a date?”
them: “darling. the whole reason we’re in an open poly relationship is so you don’t feel tied to me. I want you to have other experiences outside of me.”
me: “well I mean our fates are inexplicably linked but yeah mood.”
them: “oh yeah but you know what I mean.”
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK THEY’RE HOT FUCK THEY’RE SO PRETTY FUCK FUCK FUCK THEY’RE FOUR DAYS IN AND ALREADY TRANSITION GOALS DAMMIT FUCK FUCK FUCK THEY’RE OUTTA MY LEAGUE NOW FUCK-
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I don’t want to say goodbye yet…
It’s 2:30 in the morning when I got the call that made my heart drop, trying to find a way to bring our four girls to the hospital because they say you may not make it.
My mind goes numb with so many emotions, but the one that fights to get to the surface is fear.
Fear that this will be the last time I see you.
Fear that there will be nothing they can do to help you.
I’ve never been so helpless in my life.
It’s been 18 years,
I don’t know how to imagine my life without you.
It’s to the point where I can’t shed any tears.
I’ve convinced myself that everything will be fine, that you will pull through this.
Because I can’t break down in the middle of the waiting room of the Operating theatre.
All I can do is pray that you will come back to us
Saw a post earlier like “get a partner who’s obnoxiously affectionate life is too short to pretend you don’t care!” and I’d like to say that as someone who has CONSTANTLY exhaustingly intense emotions and expresses them tirelessly, the contrast of someone loving me with a sort of quiet, calm stability that peaks in bursts is quite nice.
It provides a level of calm I have never once in my life been able to achieve. It is soft, safe, and predictable. It provides a much more rational foil to my more extreme negative swings. Like I’ll be mid episode and she’ll just calmly be like “that’s stupid and here’s why” and once I’ve calmed down she is usually right.
Sometimes I don’t need some who can match my intensity. Sometimes “I love you and I’m here and not going anywhere” is enough. Plenty, even. I know she loves me because she is soft, gentle, and tender when I need it. She has not left, despite me often feeling like I no longer deserve it. I do not need a lover who will match my overwhelming emotional ferocity. I need a lover who is safe and stable and perhaps might surprise me intermittently with a more overt or traditionally overwhelming show of affection.
And what an incredible honor it is when it does peak up like that. When the emotion bubbles over and strikes with a more overt form of sappy tenderness from someone who may to most seem like they may never give it. What a very great deal it means.
If this isnt seph i’m gonna go crazy bcs you talk EXACTLY like seph here.. Dies.. ALSO WHY DO YOU HAVE A LIST ALSO IDK IF I CAN COMPREHEND THEM BCS I JUST MEMORIZED 200 CHINESE CHARACTERS WHEN YOU WERE ASLEEP YESTERDAY
I realized that what I desire in a partner is very different than what I desire in a partnership. That distinction helps me understand how I can find some people interesting, even arousing, while having no desire to enter into a relationship.
Had a conversation with Himself the other day about the things I need to feel safe and comfortable in our current enm dynamic. And he has delivered in spades. I adore this man.
Are you even in love if you don’t have phone sex with your significant other while they’re on vacation?
Bad news, fellow Batman villain rogue!! Conjugal visits are not allowed in New Jersey prisons. :((
I feel like my partner will leave me. I mean I’m nothing but a piece of shit.and they could do better. I know they will leave me any day now but fuck man,I love them so much, nobody has a prettier smile, funny jokes, so smart, brightens my day with just a text. Makes me drop everything I’m doing just because I thought of how lovely they are. I want them to hold me and call me darling and play with my hair as I’m alseep over them like fuuuucckkk I love them. I really don’t want them to leave. But I’m also a shit partner and like- they will see that sooner or later
Any public information? Only the New York Times interview reference, discussed here:
Photos have been posted previously.
Journal hours
something i think a lot of women do in relationships is think a lot before saying anything to their partner.
before telling him something, she’s already replayed the whole situation in her head, looking at every side of the story, thinking about how it might sound, how it could be misunderstood, and what reaction it might cause.
not because she wants to hide things. most women actually want to be completely transparent.
but a man’s temper can sit very heavily on a woman’s mind. even the thought that one small thing she says might create chaos can make her overthink everything. suddenly something small feels big enough to disturb her entire peace.
so she ends up choosing her words very carefully, thinking ten steps ahead before saying anything. for a lot of men, a conversation is just a conversation.
but for a woman, sometimes it’s trying to be honest while also keeping the reaction in mind.
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