I hardly believe in blind compassion and “encouraged” empathy anymore. The compassion umbrella, which includes concepts such as kindness, selflessness, and sacrifice, is often a lie. A myth created under the old survival mechanism, your 7-year-old brain came up with to make sense of the moment you realized your parents were actually neglectful
enough with the my father never loved me crowd, where are the people with mommy issues?
It’s always “you shouldn’t have had to do that” and “that shouldn’t have been your job”, never “you did so well looking after your ill parent”, “you did such a good job”, “you did really well given the circumstances”
okay no but actually going back to the last post i reblogged (this one by @snapcracklepop-myjoints) there is this weird divide of people on this hellsite where one half was parentified to death & the other was moddy coddled into adulthood.
am i treated well? no. i carry the emotional & physical labor of his household every day. but by god im glad i can cook, clean, entertain & play therapist over whatever the fuck those guys got going for them.
i see it more and more where people my age can’t do anything. part of the reason i dropped out of college, other than family issues, was because the people i was working with couldn’t do anything for themselves.
like. yes you SHOULD be able to make ramen & pasta & frozen pizza at 10yo. You should be able to do dishes at 8. Fold your own laundry at 6. Scrape your plate at 4. Put your own shit away at 2.
yall cant do any of that at 20 and its fucking mind boggling. your parents are going to die one day. they will not look after your ass forever.
people tell me my life sucks and yeah, it does, but not because im doing the things i am. i should be doing them anyway. its just the pure scale of doing everyones thats the problem. and thats what people do not understand.
anyway. gonna go do laundry now. ciao
When I was a kid all I wanted was their love and attention
Now that I’m an adult all they want is my love and attention
I didn’t get what I needed back then and they sure is FUCK aren’t going to get what they need now
I’m so fucking tired
It’s so freaking annoying that my parents invited themselves to my house for my birthday
The absolute LAST people I want to see, *sigh* at least they’re gone now
I can’t wait for things to be different
Me to my spouse when I get boundary crossing or otherwise parentifying texts from my Parents.
“Oh I’m getting Glass Menagerie feelings again!!”
Seriously though this play helped me process so many feelings of alienation and confusion when I read it first in high school.
Just saw some random Instagram video where someone was saying their biggest insecurities as a teenager were things like “Am I annoying? Am I ugly?” and I just. Cannot relate. My biggest insecurities as a teenager were things like “I don’t know enough about lateral thalamic acquired brain injuries to help my parent through rehabilitation” and “I’m not authoritative enough to make my brother do as I say in place of my parent, because organising things is just not something my parent can do anymore”. God. The EASY life most other teens had. I am going to explode.
My therapist told me I might forgive my biological mother in the future. You must be out of your damn mind.
Lolololol
Both of my parents use me as emotional support and I am not equipped for this
I don’t know, sorry for the long rant and trauma dumping , feel free to ignore this , I just wanted to get this off my chest and see if anyone relates. My parents have done even more things that hurt me then I mentioned below, but they also have done many great things. I now know that I can be grateful for the good things but still be upset about the horrible things and talking about them and being upset about it doesn’t make me a “bad ” daughter.
Tw: discusses parentification, unhealthy parenting, dysfunctional families and trauma, there may also be something I’m missing
[[MORE]]Sometimes I think I’m just a bratty sub, because growing up I had to walk on egg shells and be an overachiever who got shamed for not getting enough done or relaxing when my parents were doing errands/ chores. I also was very sheltered and had very few freedoms. My parents ( mom and stepdad) thought I was too immature to date, didn’t want me having guy friends, couldn’t wear certain clothes, had to constantly text and call them ,had next to no privacy.
At the same time, I was expected to volunteer and work from a young age, cook and clean at their expected rate and efficiency. Take care of my siblings and cousins,help babysit, settle arguments,be a listening ear , fill out government paperwork and so much more. Alot of this was still happening even when I was an adult in college.
I love my parents but honestly the best thing I ever did for myself is move out and establish my independence and boundaries.
But I don’t want to be purely independent, it’s lonely and exhausting. I don’t want to be in control all the time or take the lead. I just want to keep my freedom and I struggle to trust people enough to give them too much control or power over me. If my parents couldn’t handle it without hurting me, why should I think anyone else can? I want to know someone out there will love and like me for me, who will still want me when I mess up, who will still desire me when I’m feisty, defiant and or rebellious.
I’m sorry for hating you, I say to my 10 year old self. I promise you are a good person, even if i am not. even though you grow up to me be. I wish I could tell you that you will be happy, but you won’t. I’ll put you through terrible pain and I’ll cut your body and I’ll hate every aspect of you so much that I’ll contemplate killing you. I’ll isolate you from everyone that loves you and convince you that everything is your fault. I’ll make you think you have to be perfect to be loved, but the truth is you are just a child. and I wish I didn’t hate you, but I do, simply for the fact that you grow up to be me. I’m sorry for hating you. I want to love you, but I don’t know how.
being parentified at a young age really is the best anger management bc i can literally be planning your murder step by step in my head and you’d never know bc i’ve perfected the blank face of the eldest daughter who isn’t allowed to have feelings very early in life. that might also be the neurodivergencey but you get it.
- side thought. it took me until hs/college to realize that not everyone practices facial expressions in the mirror. i mentioned it casually once to a friend and she was like, yeah normal people don’t do that. and i was like, oh! that’s cool! i’m never speaking my personal experiences again!
One of the biggest guilts I have is not being a better parent to my siblings. I tried my best, but I was so fucked up and I hate to think about the ways I may have fucked them up
If someone has talked about this PLEASE point me in the direction of their meta cause I’m late to the party but it’s the fact that John sacrificed himself for HIS son and then Dean sacrificed himself to save HIS
bitch you’re 47 years old how do you not know how to load a dishwasher and I do
you know. everyone makes it seem like im being dramatic and unnecessary but i have to admit. losing my childhood to parentification, my tweens to mental illness, and my teens to physical illness and all of the above, is actually like. really hard. and heartbreaking. like it takes a toll on me that i cannot express without someone telling me im lucky and these are the best years of my life and wait until things REALLY get bad for me. thanks, by the way, for making kids look forward to when their life starts to suck, and telling them to enjoy being kills while you refuse to let them do that. i didn’t get it in the first place and i try to ignore it but man, that pisses me off.
tghis was written about doomed sisterhood and forced parentification at a young age idc what the original song was about
