I am so bad at self management. In fact, I am so bad at self-management, that it makes me worse or slows my progress in most anything else I attempt. I often believe that I would excel so much more in life as long as I had someone else who could help give me a little day-to-day structure and guidance.
So I get where the puppygirl thing comes from,
When u tell urself u dont want to shower but then you smell ur not-washed-since-yesterday self, and ur like this needs to end, effective IMMEDIATELY
I cannot stress how important it is to your executive function to do some kind of exercise or basic cardio. Do you have any idea how easy it is to form a habit now? this is fucked up you people have got to get in on this
Sat, Jan. 31, 2026
I laid down in bed, eyes heavy, limbs and vestibular system wobbly with exhaustion, cuddled with EJ, and hoped for sleep. Promptly my brain booted up and refused sleep. Why?! 😫
I’ve noticed something interesting lately. When it’s super dark in my room—after I turn off the soft, under-bed lighting at night—I get agitated and clumsier when my ears are covered by my (sleep) earplugs or noise cancelling headphones. It’s like I can’t tell where I am in space and can easily run into things even though I can just make out shapes in the room, even though I’m precisely aware of where everything is spatially, even with my eyes closed. But with my ears closed, I can’t manage. However, when I can hear, I have better balance, the sounds of the room orient me so I can navigate. I think I’m starting to pick up on spatial noises in new detail! I noticed it at the ER and recent clinic visits. I could ‘visualize’ the rooms by hearing where everyone was and how they sounded in the space, the room tone helped define the volume and area for me. I can’t hear room tone on its own, but I can tell how big a space is and how it’s laid out by the way noise sounds in it because of room tone, even through my noise protection! It’s pretty fucking cool! I’m also really good at 3D spatial visualization (even before my interior design training), this has helped me understand space, navigate quickly and with ease. I also have excellent memory for things I’ve touched and put away in particular locations. I can remember spatial locations I interacted with in vivid detail. Great spatial memory and visualization is a trait many dyslexic folks report having.
We’ve been successful at reintroducing foods on the low fiber list! I can eat all of these now—as long as they’re prepared fresh, cooked the minimum amount of time, and veggies are steamed only (I also have histamine interlace):
- GF pancakes, plain
- White wheat pasta
- White potatoes
- Sweet potatoes
- Carrot
- Zucchini
- Salmon (including sashimi)
- Cod
- Unaged, beef filet steak
- Chomps sea salt beef sticks
- Apple juice
- Rice cakes
- Sunflower seed butter
- Nori seaweed
- Ground turkey
- Ground lamb
- Ground chicken
- Chicken breast (special cooked)
- Cranberry juice, unsweetened
- Ghee
- Olive, algae & avocado oils
- Eggs
- Collagen
- Bella mushrooms, cooked
I plan to introduce steamed beets into my diet next week. I anticipate it going so well that it will be all my body wants to eat for a couple weeks. Right now I’m hooked on ghee + pasta and it’s been with reluctance that my body has allowed me to add meat or carrots to it. I’m already over sweet potatoes, and rice cakes + sunflower seed butter. My stools are not as watery any more either. All good things for my digestive system!
Napped on and off between 3:30a and 8a. Slept from 8:30a-3:40p. Feeling somewhat decent now I slept close to 11 hrs. Looking forward to visiting with our friends who are staying with us for a while in their RV. I especially love watching them walk their cat. They arrived when I was sleeping.
I woke up to messages from lots of friends, and a metamour. It felt nice to receive so much community connection.
This evening I’m going to help my nesting partner clean our Berkey filters. And yes, we have a detailed, step-by-step protocol for that, too 🤓😁
My nesting partner asked if the muffins in the grocery delivery today were for them. They felt supported by all my purchases and pleasantly surprised by the secret addition of muffins just for them 😍🥰
My blood pressure is normally a bit low, but the past few days has been lower than my usual (88/55, pulse 76 today). I wonder why it’s lower than usual and why I’m on the low end of typical. Is it from these vampires? 🧛🩸 I only started monitoring my BP after I had fibroids (before their diagnosis), I have no idea what it was before them. It’s something I want to discuss with my PCP. And now I wonder how many people with low BP—especially autistic folk—go to a doctors office/clinic, get their BP reading and the practitioner thinks they’re not stressed or anxious, and in fact quite healthy because they have really good numbers 🤦
I just learned about this relating tool called Decide 10, reblogged by @borderlinereminders. I’m really fascinated by it. The post had great examples and reasoning behind how it works and why, especially for disabled and borderline folks. I love the way this tool makes clear how invested or capable each person is when making a decision together, how it can probably bypass RSD, or bypass a lengthy conversation of what a ‘maybe’ even means. It feels better than the “yes means yes” and “no means no” rhetoric that is constructive but limited, which also doesn’t leave room for disabled or chronically ill people to share a middle area without extra effort. The premise in Decide 10 is that when asking for something from another person, or deciding something together, each person shares where they’re at on a scale from 1-10 (low-high) for that thing, and when the numbers are added up (for 2 people), if they equal 10 or greater then the thing happens—a simple way to calculate compromise. There’s nuance and alternate uses outlined in the article which I greatly appreciated. I imagine if there are more than two people, the arithmetic would need adjusting, but overall it seems like a helpful shorthand for gauging where someone is at—after the tool has been learned and practiced of course, learning this tool might make it slow and cumbersome to use for a while. I wonder if my nesting partner and I might implement something like this… 🧐💭 I could see it being useful for us, I’m sure we’d have lots of customizations 😆
7p We have just commenced the cleaning of the Berkey. I’m managing executive function by reading off each step to my nesting partner via voice chat. They are currently on step 3 (of 13): pre-cleaning all surfaces.
9p We finished cleaning the Berkey 🎉 I made a doc that was better organized than our chat message (with the instructions I had previously created). I even added a couple items when we were both confused on what an instruction meant. It’s only taken us four iterations to get this document to where it is now. Next time will be smoother, hopefully no instructions will need to change after this and it’ll just flow. I’m so freak’n excited about how ‘clean’ our Berkey Cleaning document is!! I got hyper focused on it, it’s so well formatted now 😁 Proud of us 🎉🕺
We enjoyably voice chatted for 1.5 hrs after, until my nesting partner declared they turned into a pumpkin 🎃😆
Give me the corroded train with the signal. It keeps my brain connected to the grid. Also chilling on trains are heaps fun.
so happy bc I got carnival tickets to clean my bathroom, do the dishes, AND throw out some trash. this never happens
Here ye executive dysfunction ppl, for I have a hack for you;
The moment you give your brain permission to not to do stuff—even the necessary stiff— you will find a reason to do so and gain motivation.
E.g:
Instead of thinking
“I should go to bed early.”
You can try this:
“I’ll take a rest with the lights off for 10 mins coz I’m tired, then I can go back to playing if I want.”
You have to really believe you have a choice, though. Your brain won’t cooperate if this feels like a trick. Naming what you would do when you choose to resume after the rest helps.
Source: I just found out yesterday
I also feel like I’m winning at cleaning things up tonight, because I finally dealt with some vegetables from Christmas dinner that my partner left sitting in the fridge. Thankfully in a well-covered bowl. I didn’t feel like dealing with it either shortly after Christmas, recovering from that surgery and all.
Also thankfully in a stainless steel bowl (which I’d been using a lot, because it’s a handy size and shape). So, while I didn’t want to just throw the thing away? It was at least easily enough decontaminated, once I psyched myself up to empty that nasty stuff into the toilet. Which was where it belonged, probably a month ago.
It really was at least 57 kinds of nasty by now, which is pretty much what I was expecting. But, it’s gone now and I have my good bowl back. Now in a state to use again, thanks to oxygen bleach and more than a little detergent and hot water.
It’s definitely not perfect, but ive been trying adhd meds and my guys I was just able to go to the grocery store, put away my groceries, change over my laundry, and change my sheets all back to back without being overwhelmed. I didn’t even forget anything at the grocery store. I was able to kind of process the numbers at the grocery store
I think i might go unload the dishwasher???
Maybe I’m just procrastinating eating at this point but that invisible wall that the executives create seems so much more permeable and less taxing to get through now
I am today years old when I found out that when neurotypical people set the time on their phones/watches early, they actually follow that time.
Many parent misses the one thing that could dramatically shift their child’s behavior at home and school. We’ve been taught to see behavior as a reflection of character.
The thing driving your child’s most difficult behaviors is a need not met and a skill not learned. There’s a reason your child seems fine one moment and completely dysregulated the next, and it has nothing to do with how smart they are or how good of a parent you are. It’s often a sign of executive functioning challenges.
Executive functioning is a set of mental skills responsible for things like: Emotional regulation, Impulse control, Flexible thinking, time management, staying focused and task initiation. Kids aren’t born with these skills. They’re born with the potential to develop them.
When that development is delayed or disrupted, whether due to neurodivergence (like ADHD or ASD), trauma, or stress, you’ll see behavior that looks defiant or disorganized, but is actually a cry for support.
Children’s brains are wired to grow, and with consistent, targeted strategies, executive functioning can be strengthened over time, no matter your child’s starting point.
The sooner you help your child build these skills, the easier everything becomes: Mornings, Homework, Friendships, Family routines because of Emotional safety. Behaviors are the symptom.
My screen protector on my phone was pulling away in the topmost and bottom edges and it was driving me slowly insane. I forced my hand by throwing it away. After three high alert phone awareness days I finally synced up being at the store and remembering I needed a new one. I installed it and yall, it’s perfect. Never have I ever done such an amazing job putting a screen protector on. So proud of myself.
Wife 31F and I 30M are in the throes of it and are on the brink of ending our 8 year together, 2 years married relationship. She has asked me over the past few years to make changes on many occasions. These were mainly around household responsibilities and my lack of accountability related to them, as well as mental load within the relationship.
I earnestly made efforts each time and would end up backsliding. I tried different methods and strategies and would only frustrate myself and of course her each time I backslid. I was working and spinning my wheels in unproductive ways which felt bad because I was making the efforts but also because they weren’t meeting her expectations.
In October she gave me what she explicitly said was not an ultimatum: see these two people, a therapist and executive function coach, by the end of the month. I use only the VA for healthcare so I reached out to my primary care to see if I could get this taken care of through them in order to not have to pay out of pocket.
She checks in on the 13-14th and asks if I’ve reached out. I stated that I hadn’t spoken with them yet, I was going through the VA, which is slow, and was also getting screened for ADHD. She thought I was looking for the easy way out, a pill to fix it rather than work, and decided to separate. Today, we are on the brink of divorce at the moment, I was barely able to get a commitment to a second couples therapy session.
Since then I have worked my ass off to make lasting, sustainable changes. The diagnosis and treatment of ADHD, learning coping skills through therapy, exploring different ways to navigate around these difficulties and coming to terms with the damage I have caused.
Her feeling is that it is too little, too late. It is hard for me to cope with this because I feel I was not given the chance to succeed - I am aware of the issues with this thought as she gave me many chances in the past - I am being candid with my feelings right or wrong.
I have been searching for what to say to show her that I am in this with every ounce of my being, I have made changes, I am still busting my ass daily to be a better person and partner and I am making these changes last.
Her feeling is that it is too little, too late. How can I prove to her that it is not?
It’s not like she surprised you with this. She’s been asking for these changes for years. You had years to pursue a diagnosis and get professional help, and you never did. She had a to lay down an ultimatum for you to do so. You don’t get to claim that her feelings are wrong just because they conflict with yours. For her, it is too little, too late. The relationship is over.
FWIW, the attitude that “you’re just looking for a quick fix pill” is ableist and disgusting. I don’t think your stbex is a great match for you, considering.
I hope you will still continue pursing help and support for yourself. You will find a support system and social circle that likes you for you, ADHD and all, as long as you don’t give up and isolate yourself.
I keep looking for this gif, which accurately depicts me building up the executive function needed to accomplish a single task.
Most of my life, people have told me that I should be a teacher. They see me infodump on some topic I know more than most, and think that I am a good explainer. Plenty of random areas where that applies. My best general mask is random expert on a narrow topic most people know little about. I guess people feel like I taught them something in a way they felt comfortable.
But, here’s the thing. The…
