POURQUOI CERTAINES RELATIONS DEVIENNENT SOUDAINEMENT FROIDES
Continue reading POURQUOI CERTAINES RELATIONS DEVIENNENT SOUDAINEMENT FROIDES
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Freezer
Some days the big good thing is that the freezer one’s saved up for drops $100, the day before you can finally afford the thing. 21.2CF, to sit next to the 14 one that’s transferred over and the refrigerant is re-whatever-one-does-to-re-refreigerant-a-freezer. I don’t have a proper canner - insta-nope instead - so broths get frozen instead of shelved.
This also means that the bread thrift store down the road 50 miles can be hit for cart-fulls more easily. $5-$7 for a large cart of bread? Heck yes. If the old freezer is just borked, it’ll be cool dry storage instead, but I’m excited either way.
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“It is growing cold. Winter is putting footsteps in the meadow. What whiteness boasts that sun that comes into this wood! One would say milk-colored maidens are dancing on the petals of orchids. How coldly burns our sun! One would say its rays of light are shards of snow; one imagines the sun lives upon a snow-crested peak on this day. One would say she is a woman who wears a gown of winter frost that blinds the eyes. Helplessness has weakened me. Wandering has wearied my legs.”
― Roman Payne
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Mike Leber ~ Leadership Coach ~ Mentor & Keynote Speaker Shares Why Your Boss Isn’t Your Friend
Image credit: John Castro
“Your boss isn’t your friend.” True. No one needs work to be “family.” But everyone needs it to feel human.
And yet… something is off.
Because if work were only a transaction, people wouldn’t burn out. They’d just log off.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth most leaders avoid:
When work is reduced to roles, rules, and outputs, people don’t become more professional –…
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Il est possible que certains chapitres ne puissent jamais être liés entre eux, laissant un espace abandonné pour mieux se retrouver, soi…
BéA©
#mesmots
🕯
📷 web
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December has a way of stretching people thin. Not because everyone is celebrating. Not because everyone is social. But because the month itself becomes louder, heavier, busier, and more demanding than any other.
Lesson 275: Saying No With Grace — Protecting Your Energy When December Pulls You in Every Direction
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I don’t get mad, I get cold. Anger is often described as fiery, red-blooded, hot. I have never felt it that way. It is more like the Ninth layer of Hell, my insides frozen so solid that you have no hope of thawing it. Your anger will burn out long before my apathy thaws.
In that difference, you lash out and cause destruction to those around you. While I cut you out of my life quietly, like you never even existed. Because if it got to that point, did you ever?
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The path to autonomy, coldness and discipline.
I. Explaining.
1. What is autonomy?
→Most people will just say “It’s being able to do everything yourself.”
In a way, they’re not wrong.
But this question is also philosophical.
Because autonomy is so much more.
It’s not just “being able to do everything yourself”. It’s to DO everything yourself.
2. Why autonomy?
Because you shouldn’t have to count on anyone, parents aren’t going to stay with you forever. So start learning how to do everything yourself.
3. Cold?
Being cold-hearted is a deadly combo when you’re also autonomous.
4. What exactly is being cold ?
In the way i mean it, it means basically to not show your emotions, which is difficult, it takes a lot of practice, but everything will be explained here.
5. Discipline ?
Most people think discipline is the same as motivation. But obviously, it’s not.
6. How are they different then?
Motivation is something you get at random times, happens usually when you see a motivational video, quote or something else.
The problem is that motivation is like a a broken perfume bottle.
When the perfume bottle breaks, its scent is extremely strong, but it won’t last.
It’s the same for motivation, one day you get motivated so you go working out, or you’re simply being productive.Then next day, you’re lazy again.
That’s where discipline is different.
Discipline is like a perfume bottle that’s not broken.
The scent is less strong but last for a long time.
This means that whatever if you’re tired or lazy, you’re going to do your sports session, you’re going to work, and in the end you’ll be proud of yourself.
Of course, motivation isn’t bad, it’s great actually, it’s always nice to be motivated to go work out, go to school or work.
But you still have to stay disciplined.
II. How?
1. How to reach autonomy ?
It’s not that hard to explain and understand, stop counting on others. If you’re still at your parents’ house, start making your own food, learn to cook. That’s a good start already.
If you can, maybe try to find a part-time job, especially if you’re a teenager with big dreams. This also increase discipline.
Learn basic tasks, learn to clean after yourself when you’re done eating, just imagine that no one’s with you, no parents, no older sibling, imagine that you gotta do everything yourself.
And when that day actually comes, you won’t be stressed, because you’ll be autonomous.
Save as much money as possible for your dreams, be master of your money.
2. How to be cold-hearted?
This is not to appear “dominant alpha” or any stupid thing from the internet.
It’s to protect yourself from getting hurt.
Your heart is vulnerable, you gotta protect it.
Be like a turtle, build yourself a shell.Being cold-hearted doesn’t mean you can’t have emotions or feelings, you actually HAVE to.
What it means is that you don’t have to show your emotions all the time.
If someone yells at you, don’t yell back, i’m sure you heard that dozens of times, but silence is key.
But it’s not only silence, because it can also be considered a weakness.
You gotta show that you’re not a person to mess with without even trying.If someone disrespect you, stay silent, look at them in the eyes, never break eye-contact, because this is a weakness. Hold your chin high, don’t fidget or show any sign of nervousness, don’t shove your hands in your pockets, keep your shoulder squared, be confident.
And if you have to respond, always keep your voice calm and measured. Being calm is the true power. Just see how surprised they’ll be, they’ll feel uneasy, and there. You won.
When messaging, avoid spelling mistakes, abbreviations and capital letters excepted at the start. This actually works as i do this frequently with some people and even one of them pointed it out to me, now she talks like this too.Influencing someone in a good way is satisfying.
3. Discipline.
This is one of the hardest thing, being disciplined.
Let’s say, you’d like to live a healthy style, go to the gym, having a summer body, all those things.But you keep procrastinating “oh i’ll make my plan tomorrow”, “oh, I don’t want to wake up at 5 am tomorrow, guess I’ll just skip the gym”.
Procrastinating is dangerous and your biggest enemy.
You should be disciplined.
Remember that self-discipline is more difficult than someone disciplining you.
So if you want to start working out and all, but you’re procrastinating, reach out to a disciplined friend to help you with discipline.
If you don’t have one, you can reach out to a coach.
And if you can’t, then self-discipline start.It’s difficult, and sometimes, your discipline will fail, don’t be surprised.
I’ll give one technique to stop procrastinating.
Let’s say, you have a big project for school due to next week, but you are struck by an immense laziness.
Put your phone on “do not disturb” mode, lay/sit down, count up to 5 in your head, this will help to clear your mind, then you brutally stand up, this will get your brain going, sit down at your desk and start working, play white noise if you need, take a pause of 5 minutes every 30 minutes to keep being productive, but DON’T go on your phone, maybe go in the garden to breath some fresh air, or if you don’t have a garden, open the window and relax there. Then, when the 5 minutes are over, go back to work.
This also works with working out or anything else.
The self-made billionaires/Millionaires today worked hard to get to here.
Life won’t serve you anything on a silver platter. You gotta do it yourself.
You can do it, whoever you are, i’m proud of you.
Written by myself, Chris, who struggle sometimes with this.
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Not everything is lost though, even when everything feels cold. We are still here, aren’t we?
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What lies beneath the Anatomy of Evil: Psychological Traits of Evil People
What lies beneath the Anatomy of Evil: Psychological Traits of Evil People
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Cold .. the coldness of the weather makes me feel empty , lost .. I’ve never understood why ? But maybe cause emotions are complicated, maybe cause it’s not always easy to understand them or cope with them , it’s never easy to understand the depth of your feelings and even if u did , you try to escape cause it’s way too much to accept the reality , the truth of your feelings .. so you detach , some other times you play dumb , stupid and numb. . Cold .. just like the weather that stirred up those emotions, hoping that the strong wind would erase those emotions, flow them away from your heart, and place other beautiful warm emotions.. my feelings are so strong , intense .. but that’s ok cause that what makes me a human, that what makes me alive but I hope one day .. I’ll be the safe space of my own self, maybe one day .
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Ona Gritz, from Beauty is a Verb: The New Poetry of Disability; “Hemiplegia”
[Text ID: “I sense weight but no warmth.”]
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There are times when you seek your solitude, and your solitude just wants to be left alone.
– Robert Breault
(Schwyz, Switzerland)
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coldness
your kisses felt like winter
like drinking ice old water after chewing spearmint
every time we kissed I pondered about
how maybe one day my warm spring lips could knock off your cold
it never did because it was never just your lips it was your heart too
I never understood how’d you have warmth
within your hands but not in the way you hold
when the sheets began to feel more comforting than your hands
I knew the future of us wouldn’t go as I hoped
I was just another girl to a roster I never signed to be apart of
another girl filling one of your voids when your horny , bored or whenever my name pops in your head
still I stood strong in my morals
just wanting to be around you , nothing more
still you placed me in category of girls who will never be your first choice
another girl searching for your emotional presence even support
a fool I was to keep trying to open your bolt locked doors
the closer I got you the futher I actually was
months to a year passed & still I didn’t feel like I knew you deep enough
yet the further I got from you the more I eventually saw how insecure you actually were
though physically I couldn’t see what insecurities you were hiding
I can now clearly see your nonchalant persona was just an exterior front to hide what really hurting
I always wished to tell you that your high walls cave you in a black & white box , blinding
you from ever feeling how freeing & lovely opening up can be when you have a person willing
to hear you , learn you & understand you
uncompleted & completed.-
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Cold is a fascinating character to me
He is unfeeling and yet seeks to feel something to get himself away from the numbing ache in his heart. He didn’t need to try and comfort the voices and yet he did anyway. He presents himself as a serious and stoic character and yet he is impulsive with his actions. He barely changes and is unmoving and yet he seeks and yearns for change. He is contradicting in his personality and yet the pieces fit together perfectly.
There is a certain balance his character needs to strike and that is so darn difficult to do
(Edited to have this cause I have a stupid idea. Ignore this)
