I feel like people only care about me when I’m useful to them.

took a crack at fake anime screencaps

I rise from my grave to post some stupid fan art! I don’t actually ship Clef and Beat, but this dynamic cracks me up.

The whole band (all caps or no caps)

YAOI FUCK YEAH

(This is my first time drawing shit like this so gulp) OH YEAH MY TEACHER ALMOST CAUGHT ME DRAWING THIS IM CRYING

huge vent im sorry i feel so fucking bad

if i write every single thing i feel i hope ill cry

am i really worthy of being loved. do i even deserve to be loved if all i ever do is blame myself when things go wrong and i cant ever fully accept the fact that someone means it when they say they love me because i know nothing lasts forever. i don’t love myself and people say you can’t love someone who doesn’t love themself.

i feel so sick i feel disgusting i was gonna binge eat to feel better but now i feel gross and fat and weird and my stomach hurts i want to cut it open and tear out all the insides like a pomegranate

what if im not enough what if i ruin everything and i just end up being another person who ruined everyones lives and so im lonely and end up wanting to shred myself up and commit suicide because i ruined my own life

what if all the hopes sll the dreams all the wishes all the plans and promises we made end up being for nothing because i mess it up somehow. how am i ever gonna recover from being so close to happiness and peace and then pushing everything i ever hoped for off a cliff.

i hate that my emotions are so dependent on those of others. my mom started crying and at first we were dissociating and then i wanted to cry and i felt so guilty about things. if my friends are sad of scared and they tell me sbout it i will absorb the feeling and so i will wind up feeling that emotion for longer than they did. why csnt i ever just have emotions that arent affected by anyone elses and still feel okay emotionally and existentially even if my friends are venting to me

too tired to finish this im going to sleep maybe ill feel better when i wake up whether this is a nightmare or im just not in rront wjymore and pikachus here to make us happy or ollies here to dissociate it or whatever

.

its 4am and i woke up feel too bad to sleep. cant stop thinking about things nd i so badly wanna talk to someone about how i feel but people have so many bigger problems and things to take care of so why should i add to that by telling them about my problems and making them worried for me in the process

think ollie is here so im too tired and dissociated to keep talking just gonna doomscroll thru pinterest and add to our boards i guess

no im not done actually why the fuck did they do that why the FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. YOU BROKE THEM AND MADE THEM FEEL SO WORTHLESS I WILL KILL YOU. THE SPACES WHERE I HAD PEOPLE I TALKED TO SOMETIMES NO LONGER FEEL SAFE KNOWING YOU SRE IN THEM. IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN I WILL KILL YOU AND YOU WILL REGRET EVERYTHING YOU EVER DID TO HURT US TO HURT THE LOVE OF OUR LIFE I WILL FUCKING END YOU

but why why was it all a lie why would you say nobody cares and everyone leaves you then go and ruin everything by never talking and being a shallow ass bitch and only wanting us when you want to fuck or vent

sometimes i wonder why i bother to get close to people if all i ever do is make them hate me or hurt them or make them hate me because i hurt them

i feel so sick and disgusted of myself how long is it gonna take until everything comes crashing down again

based

Unbeatable is a rhythm game where music is illegal and you do crimes, and it’s awesome.

I’ve wanted to gif-ify (?) my work without just, changing the file type cuz I think that’s a bit boring if it’s still a static image anyway. All this is because I still (unfortunately) post on Tw*tter and have been trying to find my own unique way to combat the new AI image editing feature. Not that I think my audience engages in vandalism like that, but all it takes is one bad actor man.

Apologies if this post got ranty, but at the same time the game is a celebration (or the struggle) of trying to find your place in a world that doesn’t want you here.

guys .. oc post someday i promise

I know someone asked..i gave up on the ghostwalker piece because i downloaded a new artstyle

Maybe I’ll make a clef lore doc (one of my ocs) and post it here

please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont hate me please dont

also I love you Clef. I hope you grow up to be a great man. I hope you get to keep your tender self

the ADHD rep goes crazy

this is apparently what the super long unreadable song title is. realy good game

ALT

Why don’t you stare
through the glass.

You can witness
my rust voice, my salt

mouth. Raking up
every syllable

like sea-glass.

Emily Skaja, Clef

been playing unbeatable. every interaction between clef and beat scans as this to me

The bombardier vouched for Clef to join his Daughter Swarm, Bombardier Swarm. That’s a pretty big deal (especially for someone who is not a bombardier). Of course, it’s by far not the first time Bombardier Swarm would have helped someone of Clef’s ilk….