“I think you’re projecting,” he said.

“Deeper” - Jeff Long

We quickly label others as arrogant, insecure, manipulative, or selfish. What happens when the label reveals more about the observer than the observed?

https://dualisticunity.com/how-projection-replaces-self-honesty/

The mind often protects identity by relocating uncomfortable traits onto other people. If the reaction disappears when self-honesty begins, what was being defended?

https://dualisticunity.com/how-projection-replaces-self-honesty/

Projection isn’t always obvious hostility. It can appear as subtle irritation, judgment, or quiet resentment. What is that reaction asking us to look at internally?

https://dualisticunity.com/how-projection-replaces-self-honesty/

Pohlke

AXONOMETRIC OBLIQUE PROJECTION ADDON EXTENSION!

‘When we look at someone beautiful, we do a lot of projecting. Like there’s this sense that beautiful people are filled with rich inner lives or that their minds are turning elsewhere, away from us, and so we’re, like, racked with desire to be seen by them. But in fact, what you’re seeing is the shadow of your own torment.’

Brandon Taylor, from Minor Black Figures

i think anakin would like björk

Is that me? Sure, Jan. Prove it. Please, tell this to some important places. Call the police. When they say this is the same person, you’ll be ashamed of yourself. Prove that I stole something from you. Projection is strong in this case. I didn’t see your faces. You’re all anonymous. I’m as I am. I want to see your beautiful DC faces someday without AI.

FU.

My (20M) boyfriend (20M) has BPD and is splitting, how do I save the relationship?

I (20M) met my boyfriend (20M) over a year ago. We are long distance and started off extremely rocky. I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and he had just gotten out of an abusive situation. Long distance was perfect for me after what had happened to me due to my fear of being physically around my romantic partners. As for him he had just spent a long time hospitalized and was finally making progress in his mental issues.
Now very obviously you can see getting into a relationship was neither of our smartest moves. I was avoidant, he was obsessive. I warned him before we started dating I was fresh out of a relationship and it wasn’t a good idea, he told me it didn’t matter he would wait for me to be ready. Neither of us waited.
This led to half a year of panicking each other, fights, and anxiety. In the middle of this I was temporarily homeless and couch surfing (he was not able to help me, genuinely nothing he could’ve done he was too far away.) I finally got myself settle back and my housing situation fixed and we broke up. I had been making some progress in my own personal issues at the time and we had promised we would improve the relationship and not break up so this caught me very off guard. I can now see in retrospect due to my brief homelessness I caused a split. I don’t blame him for it I genuinely was absent though I also know it’s not my fault.
I know as much as I was struggling he was struggling too, but I had finally pulled myself out of my bad situation and my mental health was improving and I was finally getting over my abuse. He on the other hand only had his situation worsen. After the break up I never stopped talking to him and he would switch between clinginess, resentment, and anger. I didn’t let him abuse me I learned my lesson the first time but it was not pleasant in the slightest. He was genuinely struggling and I wanted to be there for him because I genuinely loved him.
This went on for another half a year of me supporting him through his split and mental issues. I took care of myself too don’t worry, I started studying for a masters, I got a job and I found a way to be genuinely happy with my life. It was not nice to be around him every time I wont lie but with someone in an abusive situation they need support and I would be there for him through it all.
Now he’s got a therapist, psychiatrist all the works, he’s on medication, and he’s finally going to get out of this abusive situation he’s been stuck in. We started dating again. We were talking about a future, meeting up, and even living together down the line. It’s not perfect but we’ve been through a lot and we’re actually growing into being proper adults. I’m genuinely so proud of his progress.
As of last week though we had one issue. Briefly he brought up something he did to me when we were broken up which was (as we both admit) extremely unfair to me and he shouldn’t have brought up. It hurt my feelings A LOT and I briefly became withdrawn for a night. By morning I had forgiven him though because although I didn’t appreciate it I wanted to be past that part of us. One mistake I didn’t think of though was that brief withdrawal. For a week since he has been avoidant and emotionally withdrawn. I believe he had another split.
Yesterday he told me he wasn’t sure if he was happy being with me or in love, and he felt this way for a long time (a long time is like 3 days too this poor boy lol.) I obviously panicked and as it was Valentine’s day I got very upset.
This is where I want to ask, can anyone provide any advice on what to do? I want him to understand I am a safe space, I care about him, and I don’t think badly of him. I would appreciate so gratefully any advice on how to tip toe my way out of this one and help someone mentally damaged feel like I’m safe.

To be quite honest, I think you probably need to spend some time considering if you actually feel valued, loved, and safe in this relationship and are pursuing it for the right reasons. Or if you feel drawn to this guy because you see yourself in him and giving up on him feels like giving up on yourself. Saving him provides a distraction from focusing on yourself. If you can just save him, that will mean you’re okay and that you’re worth saving, too.

I (F30) am struggling with my boyfriend’s (M31) insecurities - how can I help him be more confident ?

I cannot vent about other peoples bad behaviour to my boyfriend as he goes quiet and assumes I’m Judging him. I don’t do this a lot, a couple times a month I vent about bullies at work or rude people. Every time he goes quiet so this weekend I confronted him and asked him if me venting about people’s behaviour threatens him. He says it does and makes him feel like I think HES a bad person too.
It’s frustrating for me as I need someone to vent too now and then but don’t feel like I can without him making it about him. Any ideas of how to approach this and make him feel more secure and confident? Do I need to just lay off the venting for a while ?

1. I mean, journaling is always appropriate.
2. Does he bully people? Do you vent about things he also does? If he’s taking these things personally, then that’s something to more deeply consider about this relationship. If he simply can never be present to support you and must make it about himself - do you ever feel supported or cared for in this relationship?

Terrence K Williams

Indeed, the only ones this applies to are the red haired wonder and mop head. Both expert liars, but neither lied hard enough for some democrats, who replaced Jen and sometimes even had to come out and rescue Mop head

I once read the mark of an abusive parent is ascribing adult motives to child behavior.

And it changed everything for me.

Calling a child “manipulative” for crying.

Saying they’re “disrespectful” for having feelings.

Accusing them of being “dramatic” when they’re overwhelmed.

That’s not wisdom. That’s projection.

Children don’t plot. They react.

They don’t scheme. They survive.

When a parent assigns grown intentions to a small human still learning how to exist, it turns normal development into guilt and shame.

And that shame follows them into adulthood.

Sometimes the problem wasn’t a “difficult child.”

It was an adult who couldn’t handle a child being a child. #fblifestyle #relationshipadvice #quotes

Sometimes I fantasize about my male celebrity crushes having vaginas

Am I fucked?

A06. I Didn’t Want to Know Anything

I don’t understand anything anymore, since I didn’t ask anything
that’s none of my business and that the girls would tell me themselves
if I would only ask them. I keep my distance
in those spaces and drink my coffee,
exchange a few words –
I don’t do more than that.
And now I feel
as if I had asked for her number, her address.
I didn’t even ask when she’d be back,
and then it feels
as if she’s inventing something that sounds plausible,
that any person would understand,
because people think
in their fears and systems
in which they dwell.
For me the lights are out,
and I no longer let the priestess
turn them on. She may live with her fears.
Then I know exactly that the opportunity will arise
to meet Sunshine when we encounter each other somewhere –
not where the first time was. And the times after.

Projection, the aim of which is to adapt the characteristics of another creature to one’s own opinions of little substantive value, is an example of rather lazy and primitive instrumentalism

Projection is a mechanism of cognitive laziness and self-centeredness masquerading as understanding. By forcibly mapping our own fears, desires, or moral narratives onto another being, we reduce it to a mirror of ourselves rather than a distinct entity. This is not just ignorance but a willful simplification that allows humans to dominate, exploit, and morally judge without having to encounter the actual reality of the other.

Instrumentality here is key, where the other human or animal ceases to exist for its own sake. The behaviors, instincts, and even the suffering of other beings are often reduced to mere data points in a system that centers around humans. Cruelty goes beyond just physical harm; it also involves a lack of understanding. This misunderstanding can be used as a weapon. The so-called “primitive” thinking is unreflective, viewing the world as a backdrop for human ideas instead of recognizing it as a complex web of independent processes. Humanity’s tendency to see itself as superior is a significant flaw, showing a lack of both rational and ethical imagination.

Every act of projection particularly onto the non-human is a confession of human cognitive and moral immaturity. The universe does not participate in our projections; we are alone in mistaking our mental shortcuts for insight.

A projection from the window onto the wall ceiling.

“Unless a man confronts his anima, his relationships with women will always remain based on projection and illusion. Unless the anima is integrated, a man can never be a complete man.”

- Carl Gustav Jung