#meirl

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#meme

#memes

For more memes follow-r/memesThatUCanRepost/ on Reddit

#meme

#memes

For more memes follow-r/memesThatUCanRepost/ on Reddit

#meme

#memes

I just had to explain the concept of a femboy to the heads of my house and now I’m trying not to die of embarrassment :<

You know. If i was going to kill myself. Not saying I will, I don’t have the energy to follow through with this thought. But if I was, it would be during a break. A break in everything. When I have time from school or work, the time to catch my breath and realize that I don’t want to be living like this. That I’m empty, that i barely remember the people around me. Their names and faces take a year, and if I don’t talk with someone for a while, maybe a month or two, I forget about them. That I don’t really see myself having a future. There’s this weight on my chest when I stop and think, so I throw myself into games and activities that don’t take much energy, but I might not enjoy them, just using them so I don’t have to think about myself. If I do enjoy them, I don’t for long. After a while I hit a wall, a realization that I’m not enjoying myself, and I’m back to where I started. That I don’t have any consistent personality traits, that I quickly become who im around, that it’s happened so often and to such an extent that I don’t know myself at all. But it takes more energy to kill myself than it does to maintain myself, so I keep going. I could probably keep going forever, until I’m past the point where I even remember that i have a choice to kill myself. I would keep faking the smile and repressing my emotions and putting on a mask like I have for the last 20 years. I could do it for 20 more. Maybe 20 more after that. I’d die alone. When I speak my mind its full of fear that I’ll upset those I like, that i’d be cast aside. When I don’t its a scar on my heart. One that reopens over and over again until I’m bleeding out with a plastered smile on my face. So I won’t let myself think of me. Its easier that way. Or maybe, one day. I’ll find the energy to take myself out of this wretched world.

I ate so much cheese 🧀

Its fascinating to watch as I’m planning to do something with my friends, and spinning the roulette wheel to see if I’ll be one of the girlies, a guy who somehow made it into the friend group, or a nb who’s along for the ride.

Ah, my favorite lie.

oh, to be a boy

It’s proving to be a great weekend

I love touching fish straight out the air fryer.

Relatedly the salad is scetchy but ill risk it.

i was used as the ball in games of catch as an infant

it’s okay, they only missed three times.

I come back to tumblr a completely different person than I left it. I went from a small chaos goblin who thought they were just a little quirky and it’s like NO SURPRISE BITCH YOURE GENDERFLUID, AUTISTIC AND A COLLEGE DROPOUT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i didn’t choose to be queer my brain just looked at the options and said “what if we complicated this for fun”

being boyflux is so funny because sometimes my brain wakes up and goes “today we are simply a guy” and other days it goes “ehhhh let’s keep it mysterious”

i’m not easily manipulated i just enjoy seeing where the situation is going

Things I’m grateful for recently:

⋆ speedy recovery after being ill

⋆ sparkling water

⋆ nail glue that stay on long and also easy to remove

⋆ feeling confident to wear my new outfits

⋆ getting better sleep lately