four corners AU notes: mika angst + mind control tech
other AU posts for context:
basic AU summary
rambles about several aspects of the AU
chapa & mika identity reveal arc
mika angst + vague plot of the final arc
volt & brainstorm dynamic
the final arc of the four corners AU involves the concept of “what if twitler’s season 2 virus/mind control plot was Worse and More Horrifying and also took place Later On.”
so. he’s been working on this tech for longer, making it even more of a threat. building up his plans for longer. and mika’s been helping him.
and there’s a pretty sharp divide between her civilian confidence and her villain-sidekick confidence at this point. twitler is making it very clear that he thinks she’s a brilliant prodigy, that she’s crucial to his plans and understands his vision for the future better than he could have possibly hoped. and he’s generally validating her to the point where she is very confident in her abilities as shoutout.
as mika macklin, though? …well. she’s being consumed by her job as a sidekick to the point where she’s clinging to it as the One Singular Only thing in the world that she has, that she’s good at, that’s hers.
all her civilian relationships are kinda falling apart. she’s doing worse in school because of how much time and energy she’s pouring into being shoutout. she’s getting all her validation and support as shoutout and none of it in her civilian identity because of how narrowed down her life is becoming. she’s pulling away from her civilian life, she’s drifting from her family, she doesn’t have friends-
but it’s fine. she’s fine. she’s good at this. and once twitler succeeds- she’ll have made a difference, improved the world. she’ll have everything. everything will work out. as long as…as long as she keeps it up, right-?
and so. twitler and shoutout are developing the tech, the viruses and the mind control and everything, and. the thing is-
someone had to test the mind control tech.
long post with a lot of angst under the cut <3
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mika, agreeing to let twitler test the technology on her as it’s being developed.
mika, with an instinctive, horrified, panic-inducing fear of being out of control like that- but. twitler says it’s safe. and they need someone to test it. and she wants to help, and she needs to be good at this, needs him to keep being proud of her, needs to keep hearing it and needs it to keep being true.
besides, she thinks- this is going to be used on other people, right? she’s not…she’s not a hypocrite or anything, she doesn’t think she’s better than everyone- she just. understands what needs to be done. and this? needs to be done.
so. she starts testing the various prototypes. and-
there are several versions. some of them are basic, simplified. controlling her movements to some degree, unable to force too much strain out of her. she’s able to swallow back the nauseating anxiety long enough to test them.
they keep working on the tech. upgrading it.
some prototypes are designed to enhance her physical abilities as well as controlling them.
it’s not her own nervous system controlling the motions- there’s not the push-back of exhaustion that she would normally have to put effort into resisting. she can keep running, keep fighting and climbing and screaming, every motion streamlined and efficient.
of course, there’s a risk of overdoing it, a risk of causing damage that she wouldn’t be able to feel without those warning signs- but it’s twitler, he’s careful. he’s always careful. he wouldn’t risk hurting her; he needs his sidekick. so she's…….fine. she’s fine, after.
some prototypes knock her out completely, unconscious in every way but physical. mind blank, body still going through the requested motions.
it's….okay, those ones are terrifying to wake up from.
the lack of memory. twitler showing her the results of the tests they had gone through - the training equipment she had been guided through fighting, the tasks she had completed while out of it, everything she had done without having any control, and- she doesn’t remember any of it. it’s terrifying.
she can’t always swallow back the nausea after those times.
she goes home and breaks down, anxiety crawling down her throat and stomach churning.
curls up in her bed and tries to think about how much she believes in what she’s doing-
this is good. this is going to help people. and she’s fine- she has to be fine, because this is what’s going to happen to other people, and- she’s not planning on hurting people. she’s not. that’s not what she and twitler are doing. so- so she’s not hurt, either. she’s fine. all of it- all of it’s fine.
and some prototypes, closer to the finalized model of the tech- they combine what had worked from previous models.
they fully control her actions, they enhance her abilities- and they just take partial control of her mind. and it feels….weird.
her pain receptors are pretty much completely non-functional under this one, she’s fairly detached from most sensory input. she’s aware of what’s happening, kind of. but part of her mind feels numb.
she goes under this mind control, and- she’s not feeling pain, she’s not feeling fear. twitler inputs the commands, and she sets off running. adrenaline kicks in. it feels almost like she’s flying. everything’s simplified, every motion connects logically to the intended result.
they experiment with how specific the commands need to be to go through- “run over to that crumbling building. bring back that piece of the windowsill” becomes “find a piece of windowsill and bring it back here, quickly” and both commands get the same result. her mind is operational enough to piece together that the crumbling building over there is the closest place she could find a piece of a windowsill, and that the fastest way to get there would be running.
she can follow complex instructions and fill in the gaps with smaller decisions to support the primary commanded goal. it’s revolutionary technology. it’s incredible. it's….kinda horrifying.
but also: it’s almost…..a relief. being under this one. equal parts sickening and relieving. she can’t feel pain, she can’t feel fear, her mind can’t spiral into the guilt and dread and anxiety and doubt that’s quickly starting to consume her- everything’s simplified and logical, everything makes sense.
and then she snaps out of it, and- the aftermath of being under this one hits the hardest of all. because- it’s not just controlling her movements, it’s not just shutting off her thoughts- it’s changing them. altering them. filtering things out so she can focus on the task, but never letting her focus enough to regain control of her actions. it’s absolutely terrifying, and-
the scariest part?
she starts almost missing it, in a way. when she’s not under that control. because once you’ve experienced that, the complete lack of pain or negative emotion- it latches onto her mind, makes everything even more overwhelming once it’s gone again. her brain gets used to it, for the hours she’s under it, and- it’s almost like a withdrawal, when she’s back in her right mind. because- the emotions and anxiety and spiraling were getting bad before- but now, in comparison to the numbness? they’re so much worse.
and- something about the final tests. seeing if shoutout can go out and fight under this one, with only vague commands, general goals of furthering their plans. and she does. she starts going out under the mind control with those commands, and- she’s efficient and practical and ruthless. not too much more than usual, not enough for the media to make that big a deal of it-
but enough for the other three kids to notice. and wonder what’s going on- because shoutout’s always been focused, always been driven and motivated and had a bit of tunnel vision on her goals- but now she’s just. unresponsive. going through the motions. she screams someone into a brick wall without a single glance. and it's…..weird. really weird. they’re trying not to be concerned, because. it’s shoutout. but- …..yeah. it's…..really weird. and they’re all kinda concerned.
and something about. mika waking up from the control after fighting under it, and- she knows what happened, knows most of what she had been doing, but- none of it feels real. there’s a bit of blood on her suit. it’s not hers. she….doesn’t remember whose it is. she could probably remember if she tried, but- she feels sick. everything aches and burns and everything the mind control suppressed is rushing back to her, and-
she goes home. breaks down sobbing so hard she throws up. her mom is so worried. she feels overwhelmed and guilty and anxious, and so, so awful. ends up curled against her mom on the couch, crying too hard to speak. her head hurts.
eventually, she pulls away and goes back to her room. passes by miles on the way there - he’s just getting home. she doesn’t know where he was. she can’t remember if she was supposed to know that. he asks her if she’s okay. she nods, unable to get herself to speak.
and then she goes to sleep, knowing she’ll probably go through the same motions tomorrow.
she hates the part of her that’s terrified by the thought.
she also hates the part of her that’s looking forward to it.
(she can barely remember which parts of herself she doesn’t hate.)
(…….there are a lot of things she can barely remember, lately.)
but. she’s- going to help people. she’s good at this. she’s better at this, now that she can work under the mind control.
and that’s what she’s doing, right?
being better. making things better.
that's…..why she’s doing this. right?
…….maybe she’s drifting in more ways than one.
………
(mika macklin might perhaps Not be fine, actually.)
