born july 14, in a hospital in gwangju, noh yeon-mi would grow up without any real worries. a beautiful girl born to a very wealthy family wouldn’t really have to worry about anything. with two loving parents who eventually split when she turned six years old. her other siblings were already studying in seoul and yeon-mi stayed with her mother in gwangju.
that didn’t things didn’t change much, her mother came from a wealthy family herself. the status of yeon-mi life didn’t change that much, she simply saw her father and siblings even less than she did. despite all of this, she was a happy child. her loved her school and her friends. she spent her time copying idol singers on tv and playing with her friends. ( sometimes neglecting her studies but that isn’t the point. )
she’s fourteen when her mom finally re-marries and this means that she has to leave for seoul.
there was fear, anger and excitement. nervousness. ( her friends told her that seoul was different, they’d be mean, she needed to work on her satoori. it was enough to send her into a tizzy )
she was set up at private high school, one her older siblings went too. and people’s expectations..weren’t meet. not all the way. at first, she was a beauty, when it came to her looks, she did live up to it at least. but the rest of her? it didn’t take long to see that she wasn’t a fit. she wasn’t elegant enough, she wasn’t as trendy.
to put it simply, yeon-mi didn’t fit in at all, she didn’t know how and she wasn’t even sure if she wanted too. ( if anything, her mother taught her to go her own way. ) so she found her comfort outside of school. seoul, while new and slightly scary. it had so much to offer to someone who was already interested in dance. it didn’t take long for yeon-mi to find her community and soon after, her goal.
to debut.
( but this was also the start of heart break. and it came in many forms. )
one girl she had grown close with had transferred to her school and they became the best of friends. they shared the same dream, the same goal of debuting. and if they really ran away with their thoughts, they’d debut together. it had been yeon-mi that told her friend about an audition for a company ( asking her too look into it because she was swamped with school work. her had to focus or her mom wouldn’t even let her. )
she had arrived a day late.
and when she saw her friend at school, it was a quiet acceptance of that betrayal. ( and yeon-mi would’ve accepted it as a mistake if her friend hadn’t gotten in, if she hadn’t lied to her. ) people asked why they stopped hanging out with each other but yeon-mi never responded, the end of the school year was coming and and she wanted to focus on her summer.
the summer meant auditions, going company to company in hopes of finally becoming a trainee. finally it happened, a small company that didn’t have a group and yeon-mi was green, excited and looking through rose colored glasses. from age sixteen to eighteen she trained, it had become her life. and in the end? her debut never came.
one day she arrived, along with the few other girls. they couldn’t do it. they didn’t have the money, they were sorry. and all she could do was cry. ( three days later, that ex-friend made her debut. )
and for a moment, yeon-mi was over it. instead of trying again, she went to university. but her mother noted she changed a little. that little part of her that had come to seoul fresh and bright eyed had dimmed. friendships took on a new meaning and it had been very apparent just how cruel that path to debut could be. yeon-mi was tired, tired of disappointment and heartbreak. going to college was normal, it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t wear her down.
still, she couldn’t give up dancing. ( she couldn’t give up performing entirely. )
while she didn’t hang out in hongdae that much, she did join her schools dance club. it was a bittersweet feeling whenever they went to completions. the thought that she could’ve been performing at a festival as an idol instead. so maybe it was fate when one of her club members told her about auditions at kmg ( and her they’ll never know much relief passed through her when it was real. )
now she only had one other worry. something that tugged at the back of her mind. her age. twenty wasn’t that old in the grand scheme of things, not at all. but for an idol? it wasn’t so bad if she had already debuted young but this was different. age was different.
she took the risk. ( yeon-mi was betting her life on it. )
she made it in but it only introduced new worries and irritations. when would she debut? how long would they keep her? when would her age catch up to her. how old would she be willing to chase a teenage dream? and that was just one thing to worry about. a the bigger thing being the reactions of the trainee’s in the company. most of them knew of her last name at least. she had come from a wealthy family after all. it wasn’t hard to find out her father had money. ( or her mother. ) it wasn’t hard to see the schools she went too. being accepted at her age? she had to have bought her way in. who would accept her? money had to play a part.
yeon-mi was annoyed, hurt. ( but also more annoyed than anything. )
so she accepted it, never really denying the rumors about her. when people whispered that she bought her way in, she said nothing. when they said if it wasn’t for that, she’d wouldn’t have made, xi simply ignored it. in fact, she chose to take it a step further. if someone brought it up around her, she’d mockingly ask if they were jealous that they weren’t able to do it. she never tried to clear up any misunderstandings.
( and when she was confirmed in the debut line up for b.witched, after a year and half of training, it only got worse. )
yeon-mi took it in stride. she couldn’t focus on petty rumors when she was about to debut. not when it was her chance to finally achieve what she had wanted for years. when they debuted, she was called a cold beauty. ( yeon-mi preferred chic. ) until the fans could to know her, until the public got to know her. she was loud, often slipping into her satoori but b.witched concept fit her like a glove. ( even when they changed it slightly, although it’s agreed that their darker concept is where she shines. )
she’s happy. ( but the fact that she keeps getting older weighs in the back of her mind, what would she do after b.witched, how long would they last? )
and now she wonders if she’s being too greedy. if she should work on a solo career when b.witched is still sort of new. how the fans and the public would react if she started to carve out a niche for herself. ( life’s taught her that she needs a fail safe, no matter how happy she gets, she’s preparing for heart break. )
but she’s strong and she knows it, if there was one promise she could make to herself, it’d be that she wouldn’t fail this time around.
not without hanging until she was forced to let go.
