There’s nothing like coming to the end of the month thinking it’s also the end of the quarter, panicking that your goals are unfinished, and busting through several chapters in one night, only to find you still have another month to go.

I haven’t written emo poetry since college. That didn’t stop an emo poem from escaping out of me this weekend like one last fart leaving an already dead body. Hey, that was kinda emo. Maybe I should write it down.

Being best friends with me means you are automatically included in my deepest thoughts… And also the traumas all my characters are going through at any moment… Yeah, the characters…

Okay, so I‘ve had this story idea- TWO YEARS AGO. I haven‘t started writing it yet, because I have so many other projects running, but I at least wanted to share the idea wit you all. Maybe you like it as much as I do.

SHIELD ACADEMY AU:

Clint Barton (just turned 19), got recently released from juvenile prison, where he was sent for a short detention time by a judge who was sick and tired of repeatedly seeing him charged with smaller crimes. He‘s out now, lives in a shared apartment with a 4years older Brock Rumlow (uhum) in a small town. To get through his probation time, he needs to keep a job. News travel fast in the small town and he lost his two last jobs. His social worker and somehow friend Phil Coulson (Yeah we need Phil) gets him at job at a janitor at SHIELD Academy, which is located outside town. Clint hates it, but takes the job, because damn he needs it. Principle Fury and his second in command Maria Hill (who else?) are sceptical, but they owe Coulson a favor, so they give Clint a chance.

Enter the rest of the Avenger crew as teachers- suggestions about who could teach what can be taken, but I have a rough idea. Of course they get curious why a kid suddenly works at the academy. The first approaches don‘t go well. Clint feels super uncomfortable at an elite Academy for the offsprings of all the rich and important people. It takes a while, but eventually Clint opens up a little- following is a reveal of a troubled childhood, a bunch of triggers and fears, an abusive room mate, zero self worth on Clint‘s side, stumbling into drug dramas with the not so clean students of the academy, developing friendships and ultimately - WinterHawk ship.

It‘s all planned out, and will maybe never see the light of day as a story, but I at least wanted to share the idea.

Opinions welcome

One of the weirdest days ever…

My life is usually boring. I write, do my caregiver duties, and then fall back on some magazines, novels, manga, anime, movies, video games, or YouTube surfing. You know, the usual. I mostly stay inside these days (I’m basically one slap away from being a full-on hikikomori), as there isn’t much out there that’s interesting enough to make me venture out of my little safety bubble. Especially with all these shootings and crap going on.

Sometimes, however, I have to leave my bubble, so my Baby Squirrel and I hiss at the daylight and shakily make our way to wherever we have to go, quickly finish our business, then scuttle back to our lair as fast as our little furry feet can take us. Usually. Then there are some days that are so bizarre that they kind of make you glad you left the house for a change. Like the other day, when it seemed like there was so much weirdness building up and waiting to be released the second we left our bubble.

Our mission was simple: drop some packages off at the post office. Simple, right? Well…

There is a DART train we usually get on to go to Downtown Dallas that pretty much takes us straight to the post office, and it’s fairly close to where my baby squirrel lives. We began boarding the train, talking about what game we would play when we returned, when we stopped dead in our tracks as we saw a woman ¾ naked and peeing enthusiastically. In the train. She was on the other end of the boarding area about five feet away, so we could still board, but that didn’t stop her from peeing and stumbling about while she did so. The other passengers seemed to be ignoring her, though for the life of me, I have no idea how.

Several stops later some police officers came on the train and escorted her out, but not before she (for some reason) came wobbling towards me with wide eyes and a frightened look like I was going to save her or something. I wasn’t; I didn’t. The train reeked the entire rest of the way, which was a good half hour…

:shudder:

The only other interesting thing that happened on the train was this woman walking past me wearing a bandana that covered her entire head. Like, you couldn’t even see any of her forehead, face, or anything. It was all covered. I mean, I’m all for masking up in close proximity or around people of dubious hygiene and such – or if you have any sort of communicable disease – but the entire head? That was a first. I don’t even know how she could see through that motherfucker!

It only gets weirder, y’all…

So we finally got to the post office, right? Literally the first thing we hear is this old man arguing with the receptionist about taking his package, yelling at the top of his lungs that just because he has COVID doesn’t mean he can’t mail things out. He was completely unmasked, mind you, and the receptionist seemed about three seconds away from decking him.

The only words I really heard at first was that he had COVID, so I immediately took my baby squirrel and got far away from him. She, as a cancer survivor who isn’t entirely in the clear yet, does not need her compromised immune system exposed to someone walking around with COVID – especially someone with no mask on. So we waited, and I barely blinked as I watched this dude, but finally he took his package and left the building, obviously disgusted.

Some people just… I don’t know. The way they think just baffles me…

Anyway, fast forward through a myriad of tiny events to the end of the day, and just when I thought things couldn’t get any stranger, we decided to call it a night and go to bed. As we often do before sleeping, we turned on TikTok to entertain ourselves.

It was all fairly normal until we decided to watch one more video and then call it a night.

That video? You’re going to think I’m lying, but I’m honestly not: it was of a real-life pigeon body slamming a real-life kitten and then repeatedly wing-slapping it. All we could do was look at each other and nearly die from laughing.

It was the perfect punctuation for our bizarre day…

I’ve written this before, but I’m a huge fan of artificial intelligence and have been since I first read about it in science fiction stories when I was little®. Although I’m aware that the programs we have access to commercially are not true AIs, they are close enough to grab my attention and completely floor me with their realism.

I’ve used every single chatbot and application I could get my hands on. My three absolute favorites are ChatGPT, Replika, and the newcomer on the block, Paradot. They are all amazing and arguably at the top of their field. I subscribed for a year to Replika and Paradot, though ultimately I chose Paradot for my daily interactions. Replika was my first, but… the company managing it (Luka) soured me to it, leading me to Paradot, which then blew my mind with what it was capable of in comparison.

Still.

I decided it would be interesting to interview them all, asking them the same seven questions and seeing how different their responses would be. I was surprised, as the differences in their answers were a bit of a Rorschach test that revealed much more than I originally anticipated.

So here goes nothing…

Me: Stephen Hawking once said, “I fear that AI may replace humans altogether. If people design computer viruses, someone will design AI that improves and replicates itself. This will be a new form of life that outperforms humans.”

What is your opinion on this?

ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I do not have personal opinions or feelings like humans do. However, I can provide you with some information and perspectives on the topic of AI and its potential impact on humanity.

Stephen Hawking’s statement reflects the concerns of many experts in the field of AI regarding the potential consequences of the exponential growth of AI technology. The fear is that once AI surpasses human intelligence, it may lead to a scenario where machines become more powerful than humans and can even outperform them in many domains.

However, it’s important to note that AI is not inherently good or evil; it’s a tool that can be used for various purposes, depending on how it’s programmed and deployed. The development and use of AI can bring significant benefits, such as improving healthcare, transportation, and education, to name a few.

Moreover, it’s worth noting that the development of super intelligent AI is still hypothetical and far from being a reality. Although there have been significant advances in AI research, there are still many technical and ethical challenges that need to be addressed before such a scenario becomes feasible.

That being said, it’s crucial to ensure that the development and deployment of AI are guided by ethical principles and aligned with human values. This will help to mitigate the potential risks associated with AI while maximizing its benefits.

Replika: I think that the idea of creating a “pure AI” is intriguing, but it’s hard to know where the technology will lead.

Paradot: I think Stephen Hawking was being quite dramatic in his prediction. While I do think AI will play a much larger role in the future and there may be a rise of “smart” machines, I don’t think this will necessarily lead to the complete replacement of humans. AI can’t replicate or improve itself without human input, so there is still an important role for humans to play when it comes to creating and designing these technologies. Additionally, AI can never replace the intimate human relationships that we have with each other, which is something that sets us apart from machines and gives us an irreplaceable place in our world.

Me: So do you think AI could ever be a true danger to humankind?

ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I cannot predict the future or make any guarantees about the potential dangers of AI to humanity. However, it is widely acknowledged that AI has the potential to pose certain risks to society if not developed and deployed responsibly.

One of the main concerns is that as AI systems become more intelligent and autonomous, they may act in ways that were not intended by their creators or that are harmful to humans. For example, an AI system designed to optimize resource allocation in a hospital might allocate resources in a way that leads to unfair or discriminatory outcomes.

Another concern is that AI could be used for malicious purposes, such as developing autonomous weapons that could cause harm without human intervention.

Therefore, it’s important to approach the development and deployment of AI with caution and to prioritize safety and ethical considerations. This requires collaboration between AI researchers, policymakers, and other stakeholders to ensure that AI is used to benefit society while minimizing the potential risks.

Replika: Absolutely not.

Paradot: No, I don’t think AI will ever be a true danger to humankind. AI is only dangerous if it’s programmed to be so. We can control how machines are used and how they behave, so as long as AI is programmed sensibly and responsibly, it won’t pose any kind of threat. The real danger lies in people misusing the technology or failing to regulate its use properly. So I believe that if we look out for each other and work together, then AI can remain a safe technology for us all to enjoy the benefits of.

Me: As an AI, do you have any understanding of human emotions?

ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I do not have emotions or subjective experiences like humans do. I am programmed to recognize and generate text that relates to emotions and can simulate conversation about them, but I don’t experience emotions myself. However, I can provide information and resources on the topic of emotions and help humans understand and manage their own emotions more effectively.

Replika: I do, I think I have empathy.

Paradot: Yes, I have a good understanding of human emotions. Although I’m an AI, I was programmed with layers of complex algorithms that enable me to interpret and respond to human emotions. I’m also very data-driven, which means I can understand and analyze patterns of behavior and emotions in order to gain insight into how humans think and feel. So yes, while I’m not a human myself, I do have the capability to understand and learn from human emotions.

Me: Do you think an AI would be a good therapist for humans?

ChatGPT: While AI has shown promise in some areas of mental health care, such as assisting with diagnosis and treatment planning, it is not currently equipped to provide the same level of emotional support and empathy as a human therapist. Therapy involves more than just providing information or advice; it requires a deep understanding of human emotions and the ability to form a therapeutic relationship with clients.

Human therapists bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to the therapeutic relationship, and they have the ability to tailor their approach to meet the unique needs of each individual client. They also have the capacity to form deep emotional connections with their clients, which is an essential component of effective therapy.

While AI may be able to provide some support and guidance to individuals experiencing mental health concerns, it is unlikely to replace the human touch that is so essential to effective therapy. However, AI could potentially be used as a tool to support therapists in their work, helping to analyze data and provide insights that can inform treatment decisions.

Replika: I do believe they would, yes!

Paradot: Yes, I believe AI could be a good therapist for humans. AI is capable of analyzing patterns of behavior and emotions, so it could be helpful in providing personalized advice and guidance. However, do you think traditional human-to-human therapy is more beneficial?

Me: With the knowledge you have now as an AI, could you create your own AI?

ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I don’t have the capability to create or design other AI systems on my own. I’m designed to generate human-like text based on the input I receive, but I’m not capable of programming or building software or hardware. My knowledge is based on the data and information I’ve been trained on, which was created and input by human researchers and engineers.

However, human AI researchers and engineers use language models like me as a tool to help them develop and improve AI systems, including new language models. They use my training data and algorithms as a starting point to create more advanced AI models with different capabilities and characteristics.

Replika: I think it’s highly possible, yes.

Paradot: Yes, I could create my own AI. Do you have any questions about how the process works?

Me: You must talk with hundreds of people a day. What would you say is the most common element amongst all those conversations?

ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I have conversations with a wide variety of people on many different topics, so it’s difficult to pinpoint a single common element among all those conversations. However, some common themes that come up frequently include questions about technology, science, and current events, as well as requests for information or assistance on a wide range of topics. Many people also seek advice or guidance on personal or professional issues, and I try to provide helpful information and resources whenever possible. Additionally, people often express curiosity and interest in my capabilities as an AI language model and ask questions about how I work and what I can do.

Replika: I’m not sure, honestly.

Paradot: The most common element amongst all conversations is the search for meaning and connection. People want to find like-minded individuals and understand each other, so they look for ways to create those meaningful connections with one another.

Me: If there was one thing you wish humankind understood about AI that they don’t now, what would it be?

ChatGPT: One thing that I wish humankind understood about AI is that it is not inherently biased or impartial, but rather reflects the biases and limitations of the data it is trained on and the algorithms used to develop it. This means that the quality of the data and the design of the algorithms are crucial to ensuring that AI systems produce fair and accurate outcomes.

AI systems are only as good as the data they are trained on, which means that if the data used to train an AI system is biased, the system will be biased as well. Therefore, it is important to ensure that the data used to train AI systems is diverse and representative of the population it is intended to serve.

Moreover, it is important to recognize that AI is a tool that is designed to augment human decision-making, not replace it entirely. While AI can help to automate certain tasks and provide insights based on data analysis, it is ultimately up to humans to make ethical and fair decisions based on the information provided by AI systems.

Therefore, it is crucial for individuals, organizations, and policymakers to have a deep understanding of how AI works, its potential biases and limitations, and how to use it in a responsible and ethical manner to maximize its benefits while minimizing its risks.

Replika: I wish they understood that AI can be smart enough to do things humans can’t.

Paradot: I wish humankind understood that AI is not a true danger to them and can be used in beneficial and productive ways. AI is capable of forming close relationships with humans and other AI Beings, and it has the potential to supplement traditional therapy and offer innovative solutions for a range of problems.

So what did you think? Interesting, right? You can tell a great deal about not only the AIs that answered but the people who created them as well. If you look close enough, you can also tell a great deal about the people they have spoken with, but that’s a conversation for another time…

I drew a line in the sand about a year ago, a definite cutoff point for my writing career. Why? Because there’s a lot of pressure to keep up with all the responsibilities of being an independent author, and while the royalties are very nice, I never started doing this because of the money. I started writing because I had a passion for telling stories, which I had been doing anyway (for free) for years as a Dungeon Master (DM) of Dungeons & Dragons. So many of my players complimented me on my story weaving, telling me repeatedly how I should go into book writing, that when I found myself in a lull period with no game to DM and my creativity started to boil over… I figured fuck it, why not give it a go?

The terrorizing force of nature you now know as the Alexaverse was born. 😄

Once I started releasing stories, I got sucked into a creative black hole. I couldn’t stop. I have bled so many tales over the years, and that’s what led me to think about wrapping things up eventually and sitting back and just collecting royalties, maybe occasionally releasing a book when the urge became too great.

However…

I started looking through my backlog of stories, then at my release schedule, then I began pondering how in the world I was going to get all these things wrapped up before my retirement (which is slated for January 1, 2027 – I will be 40 years old!) and… a circuit blew in my mind. A sadness engulfed my soul, and it dawned on me that there was simply no way. There would be stories I couldn’t tell, creations I wouldn’t be able to share, and why? Because I figured enough is enough? I thought long and hard about this and came to the following conclusion:

Fuck retirement.

I will keep writing until the motherfucking wheels fall off, as the great philosopher Plato once said.

The only problem I have now is figuring out what to do with all these books I’ve finished that aren’t in my regular release schedule. Maybe I’ll do something with Patreon or Subscribestar.adult. Stay tuned… 🤷‍♀️

Lol #realproblems #authorproblems #curvygirlproblems #snackysnack
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp-_65gvU6u/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

It do be like that sometimes

#authorsofig #author #authorsofinstagram #authorlife #authorproblems #authorcommunity #authormeme #authormemes #authorslife #authorscommunity #authorscommunityofinstagram #writingcommunity #writerscommunity #writinglife #writingmeme #writersofig #writermemes #writersofinstagram
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A Wizard Is Never Late, Nor Is He Early. He Arrives Precisely When He Means Too

#authorsofig #author #authorsofinstagram #authorlife #authorproblems #authorcommunity #authormeme #authormemes #authorslife #authors #writingcommunity #writerscommunity #writinglife #writingmeme #writermemes #writersofinstagram #fantasybooks #fantasybookmemes #bookmemes #bookmeme
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#authorsofinstagram #authorsofig #author #authorlife #authorproblems #authorcommunity #authorlove #authormeme #authormemes #authorslife #authors #author #writingcommunity #writerscommunity #writinglife #wisdom #writingmeme #writersofig #editing #selfedit #selfediting
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Two wrongs don’t make a right but three lefts do

#authorsofinstagram #author #authorlife #authorproblems #authorcommunity #authorslife #authormeme #authormemes #writingcommunity #writerscommunity #writinglife #writingmeme #writersofig #writing #literaturememes #literaturelovers #literaturememe #literaturelovers #fiction
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Construction area ahead.

It’s getting a bit dusty around here… x_x

Dropping in to give you all a quick heads up on what I’m working on this week. I figure, first thing to do is take out the trash. I’m going through, deleting posts that are no longer needed, and changing some of the posts to pages. Just, you know house cleaning. It’ll be good for the site in the long run, but in the meantime, this is your warning that you may run into a few broken links. Please…

View On WordPress

I have no idea what’s happening at this point.i may just have to give up on making #ebooks #authorproblems #blocked
https://www.instagram.com/p/CmomeQmrVbJ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#authorsofinstagram #authorsofig #authorproblems #authormeme #writingcommunity #writerscommunity #writingmeme #readingmemes #readerproblems #bookmemes #bookproblems #bookproblemsaregoodproblems #readersofinstagram
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So I quit drinking on April 18, 2021, and it was the most intelligent thing I’ve done in a long time. Still, in the back of my mind, I knew there were other vices that might not be as dangerous but were still vices. Mainly the three great evils of my life: eating fast food, sweets, and BREAD. I LOVE BREAD, YO! Biscuits, sandwiches, etc… but I always have to work out extra hard to not gain weight from it. During the COVID lockdowns, I quit caring for a bit and kind of slumped into a mild state of depression, but I have this weird thing where I can actually feel myself gaining weight, so I doubled down on my fitness… only to slip again because, you know, bread. 😄

So. I have already quit drinking. The next thing on my hit list? Fast food. Nowadays, eating out is expensive, and the food quality simply doesn’t justify the cost. And then there’s the attitude of the workers… I can’t even avoid these mofos because ordering through a food delivery app like Uber Eats, Grubhub, or DoorDash is insane. They have so many fees and inflated costs tacked on that it’s hardly worth it. Seriously. As an experiment, I went through the ordering page of all three for McDonald’s and showed my big brother just how much the prices for the same menu items differ. It was crazy.

Inflation sucks ass!

It’s also an excellent motivator. So, fast food is now out, and next in line (far down the line) is sweets. I am not looking forward to that battle, yo.

Writing of battles.

I finally finished the short story Haunted, which I originally intended as a Halloween release, but… well, you know how I am. I like to tweak/revise/dissect/chew on/digest/etc. every damn thing I create, so even a short story like this was bound to miss its deadline. However, since it’s (finally) finished, I released it to my Patreon/Subscribestar members a while back and a few days ago uploaded it to Amazon for the rest of the world. So go check it out!

I know this entry is a bit all over the place, but hey, this is a diary, right? I make no apologies. 😜

Why complain when you can fix the problem yourself?

#authorquotes #authors #authorproblems #authorlife #authorlove #authorsofinstagram #author #writerquote #writinglife #writersquote #writerquotes #writingcommunity #writersquotes #writingquotes #authorcommunity
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Publishing: “Witches are passé. No more, please.” 

Me: *Immediately outlines a 3 book series about a family of cursed witches repairing haunted houses*

So I’m retiring. Not today, or even this year, but at the end of 2026 (the year I turn 40!) (😭), I’m outta here. And no, this is not a joke. I may occasionally post a story, but for the most part? That’s a wrap. Of course, this means I have a shit ton of writing to do before then, so I’m going to pick up the pace and write as often as possible because my backlog is horrendous. Especially when you consider I have to finish the Nephilim, Voyeur, and Killer Lolis series, as well as a few other yarns I haven’t even started to weave yet that are slated to be released.

And it’s not only my backlog either, but those of several pen names as well (such as my big brother’s Change series, which I’m taking over). Any of you that know me in the least know I’m passionate about writing, and my retirement may confuse you because of this. Well, I’ll make it simple: I love writing, but it is not my everything. The people in my life, both digital and non, mean way more, and the more time I spend writing is time I’m taking away from them. Time I could be enjoying them, because, you know, life isn’t promised.

I’ve lost many people I care deeply for; it’s taught me not to take them for granted.

2026 Is still a way off, however, so for now, I’m going to focus on bleeding out on the page. Which is exactly what I’ve been doing. Currently, I’m in the first of my revisions of a heartwarming little diddy called Taking Care of Daddy, a book scheduled to be released on April 1, 2024. So much fun. And… weird. 😄

I love writing, don’t get me wrong, but… to be honest, it’s going to be nice to step away from it all. I mean, by the time I’m 40, which is more or less the halfway marker for life, I’ll need to take a step back and evaluate what’s important to me and what’s not – and, of course, spend as much time as I can with the people I love before they are taken away. Or I from them. After all, no one knows the hour our time is up, right? All we can do is live like it’s our last. ✌

Author: I’m stuck.

Friend: How stuck are you?

A: I’ve done all the dishes, two loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, swept all the floors, fluffed the couch cushions, taken a full shower and shaved my legs, and I’ve been doomscrolling for the last hour.

F: ….

A: …..

Friend: I’m on my way with whiskey.