IN IT?
Forward is where my vision be.
You’re definitely not in it.
I tried to squeeze you in it.
You insist to want to be in it.
Games is your GAME.
You were never meant to be in it.
You’re just there.
Like a mistake.
Fake smiles and cheers.
Forever I’ll make.
Because my life you stuck in it.
😅😅
Onoy when I am on my fourth drink
Only then you will invade my brain
I can’t seem to let my walls fall down, I can’t have you tearing them all down now
Only when alcohol is running through my veins
Only then, I will call out your nameejdn
I love that whenever I reread a fanfic I wrote, there’s always that one entry that got me pulling this move
The Line: I know we have good intentions
A decent night. I’d love to reflect more but I have devices that need to charge. But I had a longer session that led to more progress!
To Hunt A Vessel
“Almost closing,” I said as I finally finished restocking the top shelves by myself. Usually, Ace would’ve handled this job while I handled the fruit. I sighed, knowing I’ll have to open and run the store by myself for a while. My only saving grace was that we were in a small village with few people, so most of my business came from travelers.
I stopped to organize a bunch of dolls near the front of the store, but I ended up knocking one off the shelf. I kneeled to pick it up, but in that moment, I heard quick footsteps behind me, and before I could react, small arms wrapped around my neck Damn near choking me.
“Mama, Daddy hasn’t come home. He wasn’t here last night, and he’s still not back.” My Daughter Elizabeth cried, wetting my shoulder with tears. I gently pry her arm away from my neck before turning and taking her face into my hands. She looked at me with the same tearful blue eyes she got from her father.
“I told you Daddy is in the Iron Legion, he’s off protecting our kingdom, and well, probably learning some magic,” I told her as I wiped the tears from her face with my thumb. “And when he comes back I-”
I stopped speaking as the smell of copper and metal entered the air. Blood? I looked past Elizabeth to see a man in black robes with jewelry adorned with unrecognizable symbols. He was inspecting items. I noticed he kept glancing our way. I looked back at the door and three people in red cloaks standing outside, the two I could see fully were women, both looked the same. Definitely twins
“Why does he smell like that?” Elizabeth said, barely whispering. I quickly gestured for her to go to her room in the back of the shop. I watched as she ran playfully to the back, almost tripping over her own feet. I turned my attention back to the man who seemed to have found something to buy. He approached me holding two pomegranates.
“One silver,” I said, faking a smile and holding out my hand.
“Oh, that’s far too cheap here for fruit this fresh,” the man grinned and dropped three coins in my hand, while the first two were pristine and the third was a small and warped coin. As he left the shop, he glanced back at me with a smile that sent a chill up my spine. Soon after, I closed and locked up for the night by putting a chain around the handles of the double doors.
I made my way to Elizabeth’s room and tucked her in before going to bed myself. I lay down to rest, but soon sat back up as I heard the sound of chains clashing. I figured it was someone who didn’t know or care that it was closing time. I expected them to stop after seeing that the door was chained, but they kept attempting to open it, almost like they were trying to wake everyone in the house.
I got up and walked to the front. I did fully enter the storefront, but instead I peeped into the doorway. I covered my nose as I caught the familiar smell of copper and metal. It’s him. I confirmed by peeping out at the door to see him violently shaking the door. I have to get the guards. I quickly made my way to Elizabeth’s room.
“Baby, wake up and stay quiet,” I said as I pulled her from the bed and to the back window. She looked at me, confused, but didn’t resist. I opened the window and helped Elizabeth through before climbing out myself. I grabbed Elizabeth’s hand as we walked onto the street behind our house and started making our way towards the guard barracks. It was eerily quiet as we didn’t see anyone on the road. Usually, there are people at least around. Maybe they all went inside because of the crazy man.
Soon, we made it to the barracks, where I noticed the doors were open. My hand tightened around my daughter’s, and we pressed on. We only had ten guards. At least one of them had to be here.
As we entered the eerily dark building through a set of double doors, I never let go of Elizabeth’s hand. We both looked back, startled as the doors slammed shut behind us, and the clanking of the door lock could be heard from behind. I didn’t try to force the door open cause I was more worried about what was in here waiting. I quickly looked around before grabbing one of the guardsman’s swords from a nearby rack. We had to find another exit.
With Elizabeth behind me, I pushed forward, careful of every doorway. In most of the rooms, the curtains must have been drawn, not allowing light in. As we passed the living quarters, my eyes caught something in the dark. I focused on a figure standing in the middle of the room with gleaming red eyes. My heart began to pound in my chest as I turned to run, only to see a woman in a red robe whom I recognized from the shop.
“Oh, I guess you found us,” said the woman, still standing in the dark room, as the two twins began to walk closer to us. I backed up shakily, pointing the sword at them and trying to walk backwards while Elizabeth hugged tightly on my leg, making moving difficult.
Fear held me in place as I watched and was shocked as the skin and muscle on their arms started convulsing as they reshaped themselves to be more muscular. Blood leaked from each finger, and sharp claws pushed through. I’ve seen magic before, but this is wrong.
I turned, pointing my sword at her as I stood between her and Elizabeth, who was holding onto my leg tightly. I turned and ran, pulling Elizabeth behind me. We ran into a room to see three windows, and one was broken with a guard’s body lying under it. Upon entering the room, I now know where all the guards are, each one pale and wrinkled almost as if they had been drained of blood. We made it to the window. I threw Elizabeth through the window first. I attempted to climb through before I was grabbed and thrown back. I slid across a table and landed on top of a body.
I got up only to feel a sharp pain in my leg. I turned to see the second one behind me, but it was noticeably smaller now, being half my size. I attempted to kick her away, but she managed to grab my leg and sink her teeth into it. I could position the sword to properly stab her, so in desperation, I dropped the sword and grabbed the little woman’s head and sank my thumbs deep into her eyes. She screamed and let go. I pushed her away. The other sister slashed her claws at me, but I managed to duck under her and make a break for the window while she checked on her sister.
“Elizabeth,” I called, only to see her quickly run up and grab my hand. We ran away from the barracks and across the street. I looked back to see that neither of the women attempted to climb through the window or follow us.
We needed to find somebody to help. We were about to head around the street corner to the mayor’s house to see if he and his guards were still living. I stopped as I heard footsteps and talking coming from around the corner. I couldn’t verify who they were, so I quickly opened a door, entered the closest house, pulled Elizabeth in with me, and silently closed the door. I made my way to the window close to the door and peeped through carefully.
“Everything is going smoothly, and soon she’ll be ours, but in the meantime, get the other members to start searching houses everyone else had already felt so getting help should be out of the question,” the hooded man said. I couldn’t see his face, but I recognized his voice. It was the mayor. He was a part of this, too. I left the window as they passed. I needed a weapon, so I searched around the house. I passed the bedroom after noticing a kitchen in the next room. Upon entering the kitchen, I almost tripped over the corpse of a woman. I gasped upon seeing the damage done to her. But strangely, like the guards before, there was no blood on her or the floor. I was going to step over her to get to the counter, but before I could, I felt Elizabeth pull at my shirt.
“I found this under the bed upstairs,” she said as she bought me a dagger. Surprised, I took it from her hands. I didn’t like the idea of her searching for weapons, but honestly, I’m just glad to have one now.
I pulled Elizabeth into the kitchen as I heard the front door open, and a robed man entered and looked around. I clutched the knife and hid in the doorway. I peeped around the corner to see him as he entered a different room between us and the door. The kitchen was the next room for him to check. As he disappeared through the door frame, I grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and entered the hallway. I quickly and quietly snuck past the door, but just as I made it to the door. I felt Elizabeth pull back.
“Gotcha you little freak,” the robbed man said as he grabbed Elizabeth by the hair and pulled her back. I didn’t think, I just reacted by plunging the Dagger into the man’s neck, barely any resistance, just a poke, followed by warm blood running down my hand. He let go immediately to hold his throat, which was bleeding profusely as he fell back.
I turned back to the door to see 3 more robbed men. Smiled and pointed a bleeding palm at us. Before I knew it, his blood formed into floating spikes in front of him. I knew what was coming, so I turned to shield my daughter with my body. I heard two of the spikes whizz past. But soon I felt a sharp pain as one struck my shoulder. I yelped in pain as warm fluid dropped down my back. With tears rolling down my face, I ignored the pain and quickly picked up Elizabeth and ran into the bedroom, slammed the door, and locked it. I stepped back as more spikes pierced through the door. I ran to a window and opened it as the robed men slammed against the door.
I lowered Elizabeth out first before climbing through myself, just as the door broke open. I grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and ran. More blood spikes flew past us, missing until I heard Elizabeth scream. I immediately turned to her to see one hit her leg. All I could do was pick her up and continue running. We soon made it to the edge of town, where we continued into the woods. We kept going deeper in. I continued to look back to see that we weren’t followed. After a while, I sat Elizabeth down on a stump and tore off a piece of my dress to use as a bandage for the wound on her leg. I winced as the pain in my shoulder got worse, but I couldn’t worry about that now.
I kneeled in front of her so I could dress her wound. As I looked up at her face, I noticed her smiling. I’m glad that after everything, she doesn’t seem traumatized. I smiled back as I then looked down so I could tend to her leg. I started by wiping away the blood. Huh. I was confused as there was no wound, there was blood, but no injury. I looked up to see Elizabeth laughing. I stood up and stared at her. No. This isn’t her. I backed up.
“Ya know you have a pretty bad habit of letting me go first through windows, especially without knowing what is on the other side,” she said in the same childish tone that now felt more like an adult pretending to be a kid.
“Where is my baby?” I said, frantic.
“Huh, I don’t know, probably in the mayor’s basement, ya know, there’s a whole cult down there, and we do a lot of fun things like rituals, sacrifices, cannibalism, brainwashing children,” she said
“I’ll kill you,” I said, not thinking or caring what came out of my mouth.
“Huh, you could, but if I were you, I’d get to your little brat fast. We do a lot of things, but you never know which might happen,” she said with a smug expression, knowing I didn’t have time to waste.
I turned and ran back, knife still clenched in my fist, and I entered the town. I almost slipped on blood as it now covered the ground and the walls. I didn’t care, I kept running till I got to the mayor’s house. It wasn’t lost on me that that was the only area their blood had not touched. Entered the mayor’s house through the front door cause it was already open. Once I was inside, I didn’t have to wonder which door to go to because I already knew.
I’ve been there before to convince the Mayor to dispatch some guards into the woods. During this, I passed a door locked with chains. I decided to mind my business, but now I know I should’ve said something.
I approached the now open door and walked down the stairs into the basement. At the bottom was a hallway with a few doors on the side, with one red set of double doors at the end. I carefully walked through the hall past a kitchen, a living area, and what looked like a training room. How long was there a cult here without anyone knowing? Upon reaching the door, I braced myself before pushing it open.
I was now face-to-face with a room of red-robed cultists. They were all kneeling in prayer, forming a path towards the cultist with the black robe. As I entered, the air was thick with the smell of blood. The cultist in the black robe beckons me closer.
“Where’s my daughter?” I yelled as I approached, pointing my knife at him.
“Oh, dear we never cared about her; we wanted you, but don’t get me wrong, she was an important part,” he said as he stood up from his seat with a smile. I backed up, still pointing my dagger at him. “She motivated you to survive the hunt and spill blood during it, both requirements for the ritual, then she motivated you to come to us.”
“Wh-” I was about to speak, but was interrupted as I was forced to the ground by the cultist. Before my arm could be pent down, I swung the blade in a panicked effort to fight back, cutting one of the cultists’ throats. He stumbled back bleeding, but it wasn’t long before my arm was pinned and my dagger was forced from my hand. It wasn’t long before I felt a sharp pain in my head, and I lost consciousness.
I woke up panicked and struggling as I tried to get free from my restraints. Both my neck, wrist, and ankles were chained to the concrete slab I was placed on.
“Where’s my daughter asshole?” I screamed as the black-robed cultist and the others flooded in and surrounded me.
“It is time to offer our goddesses a vessel to walk this mortal plain.” He said as he roughly grabbed the sides of my head and started chanting. My head felt like it was going to split as my mind was being pulled at by something.
My thoughts started becoming foggier as I could feel my very mind being tampered with. I tried to fight back against the cultists, choosing to focus on my daughter. El-. What was her name? I struggled to recall her name, and soon her face disappeared from my memory, but it didn’t stay gone; it flickered. I will not let him erase her. After a minute, I felt empty and numb. I didn’t even know who I was, and honestly, I didn’t care. I prayed my daughter was safe.
Suddenly, a memory came to me. I didn’t have a body, and I could only float. I have watched the Earth and its mortals for centuries. One day, I felt him calling out into the void, begging for power, and I gave it to him. Soon, more called out. They worshiped me and made me stronger, and in turn, I promised them immortal life but only if they allowed me to join them in their plane. Not just an observer. Years passed, and now I’m here.
I smiled as I got up from the concrete slab, snapping the fragile restraints. Upon sliding off the slab, I watched as all my worshippers kneeled. In front of me, like dogs to their master. I’m myself, but something feels different. I turned to see a worshipper in a black robe, and I recognized him immediately as Nixon. A twinge of anger entered my body when we locked eyes. This hatred I feel for my own followers is strong, but not my own.
“Mistriss, it seems you’re already accustomed to your new body. Are you happy with the vessel I- we bought you?” Nixon said with a grin on his face, expecting praise as always.
“I love it, but there is one problem,” I said, still inspecting myself.
“I apologize, is it something I can fix?” he asked, his face dropping in concern.
“Seems you didn’t erase enough of the previous inhabitant, there’s an echo of her left,” I said
“Maybe I can do something about it,” He said, only for me to shake my head. I can feel what’s left of her praying for someone.
“No, the thing is she had a final request, a prayer one that, sadly, I can’t fulfill, so I’ll give her the next best thing,” I said, much to the confusion of my worshipers. They all started looking at one another as I spoke. I felt Anissa’s hatred towards them, and it was now part of me. Why not give in? “Let me spell it out, I’m an ancient and powerful being now given flesh, and I hate you.”
As the words left my mouth, I could feel the fear enter the air. I smiled and raised a single hand, and with barely any effort, my powers reached out to worshipers in the building as they tried to run and escape. With a small clenching of my hand, their blood began to boil within their veins. I turned back to Nixon with a sinister smile on my face
“You were supposed to make us immortal,” Nixon choked out as his veins and skin turned red. He lifted his hand and shot out spikes of blood at me, using the power I granted only for them fly towards me and stop before returning to him and burying themselves in his chest.
I left the room, stepping over bloody corpses with busted veins. On the way out, I passed a kitchen, and my eyes landed on the counter where a big metal pot boiled over, leaking stew onto the counter. Normally, I’d enjoy macabre things such as this, but now. I’m disgusted. I wiped a single tear from my eye, and I left the building for a new and beautiful world.
I’m an observer, I collect memories like sea shells. I remember little things about people, how they laugh, which word they use the most, how their eyes shine when they’re happy, how they cover up their pain with a joke. I remember every tiny thing people told me, even if it was years ago. I keep all these memories with me like something special. It makes me happy to remember these moments. It makes me sad too, like how they’ve changed now, they’re always here but they’re also gone.
© wordsbyurwa —Urwa Noor
It is late, but I wanted to get something written today.
Day 42 of 200 days of writing.
I’ve been out of my house for 14 hours today. That was kind of a lot. Though for a bit of it, I was at a concert and hanging with a friend. It was fun, but the band was mostly sick, so they sounded a bit rough.
For the rest of the day, I was at work. It was a pretty normal day, I just needed a break at some point and wasn’t able to cause of the low staffing.
I could really use some free time. And 30,000 dollars if anyone has some they could spare, smh
I wonder what I’ll write tomorrow. I have been wanting to work on burn lately, but I don’t have a lot of free time. And it’s one of those projects that I want to sink 4 hours into at a time. I have got quite a few things on my plate right now, so a four-hour sink is kind of off the table.
Anyway, I will see you all tomorrow. Take care and try not to avoid hard things.
From the first moment I saw you, I felt it — a pull, a shadowed gravity, as though my soul had been wandering through night waiting for yours. You are my storm and my sanctuary, my midnight and my dawn.
I vow to love you through the shadows and the silence, through the chaos that rages beyond us and the quiet that holds us together. I promise to stand by you in the darkness, to guard your heart as fiercely as I guard my own, and to weave our lives together even when the world seems to unravel.
I pledge to honor the fire that burns within you, to celebrate the beauty in your scars, and to hold your hand through the unknown, the forbidden, and the eternal. I will be your refuge and your reckoning, your confidant and your obsession, as we walk this life bound together in love that cannot fade.
In this life, in whatever comes after, I choose you — endlessly, irrevocably, and without mercy. You are mine, as I am yours, in shadow and in light.
In a city being slowly eaten by apps and pitch decks, one old woman with a ladle is still holding the line.
Slow cooking a soup that tasted like a family story.
If there’s a handwritten note by the condiments: “Cash only. ATM next door.” That’s not inconvenience. That’s a firewall against bullshit.
This is a love letter to a old pho joint where the linoleum’s cracked, the neon’s dying, and the soup is a spiritual experience.
One sip and you could taste a pinch of laughter, a dash of family, and a sprinkle of hope.
The broth was alchemy in a bowl, swimming with generations of traditions.
Between the Salesforce Tower and Tenderloin’s eau de bad decisions, there’s a pho shop that refuses to be “disrupted.”
I walked in hungover and walked out remembering why the city isn’t completely hopeless.
The next time life feels like a spreadsheet, trust the alley that smells like survival.
Officially reached the “I want to shred my story and set fire to the pieces” stage of writing…
San Francisco will sell you a $25 salad and a midlife crisis on the same block.
I went looking for something honest and tripped over a cash‑only pho joint with flickering neon and zero patience for my feelings.
The best meals don’t need branding. They just need you to show up hungry.
Hello~ Trans joy is in the tags, and I am not interested in bittersweet or bad end endings. But the existence of a plot demands that there be some bumps along the way.
Thank you for the ask <3
What do they see with those unearthly eyes?
I’ve been wanting to update my selfsona for a while but I just couldn’t get the design right. At long last, here they are!
Old banner:
Man, some of the writers I’ve seen on here are so freaking talented. I’ve heard the jokes for years about how “Tumblr poetry is bad,” but so many of you are incredible writers. I’m honestly in awe. I can already tell this will be a huge place of inspiration for me, thanks to all of you.
