“Steward! Something’s amiss! I tromped about gloriously ALL DAY, but no one noticed that they were in MY presence!”
“Women don’t ALWAYS have to notice you, you know.”
“First of all, yes they do! Next of all, whoever said this was about only women? Even men who are weak, simpering losers should be falling in behind me!”
“But…they’re NOT. Has everyone been frightened by some monster? Perhaps that living wooden mannequin over there!”
“Hey! I heard that, buster!”
“Why do you even WANT guys like that around?”
“The alpha male cannot be leader of the pack without a pack!”
“So having suboordinates around is that important to you, huh?”
“Of course! It is all part of the gloriousness that is Gaston!”
“So I take it that without them, you’d just feel less important?”
“No, I’d still feel important! I’d just feel like there’s something wrong with everyone else! Didn’t I not just explain that to you?”
[Varian may have found the limits of Gaston’s introspection.]
“So you want a pack that always, without fail, follows you around and keeps their full attention on you.”
“Certainly! At all the normal spots I gloriously tromp about! My country club, gymnasiums, taverns and sports bars, even out in the woods! They have been filled with those who usually adore me!”
“So it sounds like you don’t have a supply problem here.”
“No, but perhaps they’re confused about what to do. Or they’ve been thinking too much. Nothing confuses you like thinking!”
“So what could I make for you?”
“So to get right to the point, what your most "I SAY! LOOK OVER THERE!” potion?“
"Well, I think we’ve got the ingredients for a Mental Control Potion in stock…”
“Could you make me breathe fire instead? Animals always notice when there’s fire, so it should work well for the simple-minded!”
[Varian makes Gaston a Flaming Hot Blaze Potion.]
“I SAY! LOOK OVER HERE!”
“No need to yell! The flames already got us looking!”
“Haha! YES! This will surely impress!”
