i won’t be using the term CSEM, as it was coined by a republican “save the kids” nonprofit foundation who’s lobbyists were also paid to lobby Trump’s dreams to build a wall between USA and mexico. this nonprofit was created in part to justify increasing police surveillance as a way to “prevent sexual exploitation of children”. i found this out in 2024. now, with what’s happening in DC and chicago, now with the increased surveillance being a reality, i am even less willing to use this term. (i wish i could find the source for this again but its been almost 2 years. i’ll update when and if i find the video i made on tiktok about this.)

research terms before you use them.

CSEM was created as a term to lessen the blow for perpetrators of CP creation/posession/distrubution, NOT to “respect victims”. in a court of law, “child sexual exploitation material” sounds a lot less serious than “child porn” and is much more vague. same as how “sexual assault” sounds a lot less serious and a lot more vague than RAPE. these terms were created so that juries would unconsciously be led to believe the crimes aren’t as serious as they actually are. get real.

as a victim of CP just call it CP. the term CHILD PORN should give you a visceral reaction. the term CHILD PORN is widely known. i can’t tell you how many comments people get asking “what’s CSEM?” when they use CSEM as opposed to CHILD PORN.

PORN does not imply consent. especially considering the term “revenge porn” exists. the prefix “REVENGE” distinguishes it as nonconsensual, just like the prefix CHILD in CHILD PORN distinguishes it as nonconsensual by default. i’m tired of the debate. CHILD PORN is a disgusting term, yes, BUT THAT IS THE POINT.

بطاريات ذاتية الإصلاح تفتح الباب أمام سيارات كهربائية تدوم أطول

لتحقيق بطاريات أفضل وأكثر ديمومة للسيارات الكهربائية، يعمل باحثون أوروبيون على تطوير تقنية تمكّن البطاريات من اكتشاف الأعطال ذاتيًا وإصلاحها.
البطاريات تُعدّ من أبرز العوائق أمام التوسع في استخدام المركبات الكهربائية. ولكن، ماذا لو استطاعت أن تدوم أطول وتُصلح نفسها أيضًا؟ هذا هو الهدف الذي يسعى إلى تحقيقه باحثون أمثال يوهانس زيجلر وسوفو ليو.
تشهد مبيعات السيارات الكهربائية في أوروبا ارتفاعًا…

بطاريات ذاتية الإصلاح تفتح الباب أمام سيارات كهربائية تدوم أطول

CSEM & QDI introduced QD-on-CMOS image sensor

CSEM and QDI unveil QD-on-CMOS image sensor

Evidence We Didn’t Take

🗝️🏷️ stalking, SA, CSEM, mention of sex toys in orange (start and end: The one pice of evidence…show we had.)

This is maybe a therapy thought, but therapy is gonna be busy✨this week.

We have a problem with not documenting evidence of our abuse because we assume we won’t be believed.

An example that comes to mind is stalking. We’ve been through that more than once, but one time we were regularly in therapy and most frequent fronters knew about our abuse history. Two or three men were showing up in places we needed to be exactly when we needed to be there.

We are medium trusting in two extremes, either I would die for you or I will put in effort to avoid you. These guys wore garments we were conditioned to respond to, so we initially avoided them to not creep them out. When they became more of a fixture, we were more inclined to dodge.

And that’s why we think it was stalking, because they went out of their way. Sometimes they walked behind us for like ten minutes, following while we took weird turns and crossed streets. If they were going the same place, they inconvenienced themselves doing it our way. Standing in doorframes for an hour, looking out. Always where we were going. Taking pictures with us in frame where there was nothing of interest to photograph. Once they were all together, and they passed a nearly empty elevator to try to get on with us. We went without our notebook that day. So many mildly weird things, not really anything huge.

I could’ve taken a picture. That was a safety idea we had. See the guys, take a picture. Kinda invasive, but they seemed to be doing it to us. It would’ve illustrated how often they were there, that they were behaving oddly, that situationally we were right to be distressed. But I never did. I told my therapist: “Even if I do have proof, proof of what? That bald white guys exist?”

I wasn’t sure then that it was stalking, and I’m still not now. It was very mild for our experience, no break-ins or getting snatched. That was also why I was so careful, because those were scary and I didn’t want a repeat. But when I tell people, they don’t believe me. One asked “are you sure that wasn’t a dream?” Pictures would’ve been something, some proof. At least that I didn’t make the guys up.

Our family has occult paraphernalia in the home, or did for years. The one time I thought I should document that and was there to do it, everyone was in the room with the storage boxes and I didn’t try to get past them.

We don’t have any of the clothing we were abused in. I’ve never found any CSEM with us in it (or any at all), but I know some of the things we were wearing to the venue. We don’t have any photos of us before we got a cell phone and have never seen the photo albums that supposedly existed.

The one piece of evidence that we do have is a sex toy we were abused with. It wasn’t one of the… communal(?) ones. I’ve never tried to explain that before. It wasn’t a gift. We got it during puberty with a secret gift card, and they found it. It was one of two that came with us when we left. It’s glass, and someone dropped it at exactly the right angle to crack a chunk off. It’s oddly sentimental, so I don’t want to throw it away, but it’s dubious on body safety now. One more thing I won’t even be able to show we had.

It feels like the only evidence I have now is this body I carry around everywhere I go. Just me, the others, and the vessel we’re stuck in.

It stings. But most people don’t believe us anyway, and what we could’ve shown wasn’t enough for court. It’s just us now. No one will ever know like we do.

Anon replies to this

Okay so.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice is worth the watching if only to see the extended sequence in which they detail the completely ridiculous and over the top death of Delia’s dad, whose actor was caught with CSEM multiple times and worse.

And which they claymation animate.

it’s in deadpool’s contract that once per film, he must crack a joke about being raped by Scoutmaster Kevin as a kid

and honestly he is so real for that

love to see this whole thing of Dealing With Serious Trauma Through Dark Comedy tbh??? like yes girl take ownership!! turn what was obviously a pretty fucking damaging experience into a really sick and fucked up joke!!!!! you’re doing great sweetie xxxx

It’s Drawings.

Real CSEM involves real people.

I am a victim of intra/extrafamilial sexual abuse, my abusers worked together as an organized group to create CSAM until I was 12. I’ve had this reoccurring nightmare of being taken to what looks to be either an abandoned or just vacant home. I can tell that it’s empty because I can hear the way my footsteps echo throughout the house. A tall man is holding my hand and leading me as I walk through the entryway of the house and into another room. When I envision it I feel nauseous and my body shudders.

Yesterday I tried fixating on this nightmare in attempt to make sense of it. I decided to Google search abandoned properties within distance of my childhood home. One in particular stood out to me, it offered a sense of familiarity. So I dug deeper. I determined the abandoned house was built shortly before I was born and the bank foreclosed on it by the time I was 2. I then determined it was only 7 minutes away from my childhood home.

Then I saw the pictures of the interior. It felt as if someone took pictures of my nightmares and published them online. I dropped my phone and started crying, eventually hyperventilating. I spent the rest of the night extremely dissociated.

I’m trying to tell myself that this is all some big coincidence and I’ve just managed to give myself a scare, but I’m also trying to be better about trusting my body and the bits of information my brain gives to me. I can’t help but wonder if this nightmare is just a memory of a location that was used for CSAM production. Regardless, this has me very freaked out.

I feel ALONE.

It took me so many years to open the box in my mind and actually open up about my trauma. Now it looms over me like an ever present shadow. I shoved that shit so deep that I never let myself grieve what was done to me.

I know I’m not the only person who was the victim of sextortion, CSEM cam work, and a ring of pedophiles as a minor. I don’t have the bandwidth to type my whole story atm but I KNOW I am not the only one in gen z who experienced this while being online at an extremely young age.

The problem arises when I can’t find community with others who have experienced this. There are practically ZERO resources for adult survivors. No forums, no groups, no books.

So I search the tags here and it feels even more isolating…

#csem = people complaining about a03, art, and fan fiction (very few discussions from survivors)

#omegle = people complaining that their favorite rp website is gone (no stories of the THOUSANDS of victims of pedophiles who blackmailed, recruited, and groomed children into CSEM and cam work)

#sextortion = news articles and posts cautioning people to stay safe online (very few first hand experiences)

And don’t get me started on the far right delusional hysteria about the political elite trafficking babies instead of the VERY REAL CHILD TRAFFICKING that we should be educating people about.

If you see this and you know where I can find community, please tell me. I’m exhausted from carrying this weight all alone.

This question doesn’t provide me with enough information to assist you.

Here are a couple of  suggestions you could do that may provide you with information you are looking for:

Search the names of the people involved if you recall them.

Search articles in the county, town, city, where the abuse occurred.

Take care,

Oz

.

I am a victim of intra/extrafamilial sexual abuse, my abusers worked together as an organized group to create CSAM until I was 12. I’ve had this reoccurring nightmare of being taken to what looks to be either an abandoned or just vacant home. I can tell that it’s empty because I can hear the way my footsteps echo throughout the house. A tall man is holding my hand and leading me as I walk through the entryway of the house and into another room. When I envision it I feel nauseous and my body shudders.

Yesterday I tried fixating on this nightmare in attempt to make sense of it. I decided to Google search abandoned properties within distance of my childhood home. One in particular stood out to me, it offered a sense of familiarity. So I dug deeper. I determined the abandoned house was built shortly before I was born and the bank foreclosed on it by the time I was 2. I then determined it was only 7 minutes away from my childhood home.

Then I saw the pictures of the interior. It felt as if someone took pictures of my nightmares and published them online. I dropped my phone and started crying, eventually hyperventilating. I spent the rest of the night extremely dissociated.

I’m trying to tell myself that this is all some big coincidence and I’ve just managed to give myself a scare, but I’m also trying to be better about trusting my body and the bits of information my brain gives to me. I can’t help but wonder if this nightmare is just a memory of a location that was used for CSAM production. Regardless, this has me very freaked out.

i’m a victim of an organized ring that created csam and I’m driving myself mad looking for resources on the internet for victims…why is there nothing. why am i a forgotten about group of victimology.

Quick note, apologies in advance for the vagueness….

Anon who sent me the ask about “joining the group of anons appreciating your takes” asking about the AO3 volunteer and CSEM situation – I appreciate the faith in me, and I think you were sincerely looking for information and analysis. That said, I was concerned the language in the ask could be read as a bit inflammatory, so rather than reply directly I’m posting independently. 

For those who aren’t familiar with the situation, OTW has released a statement on it here, responding to Rahaeli/Synedochic/Denise’s statements here. (I’d link to the specific tweets but I don’t know how to do that on Twitter, and they’re not difficult to find.) Other people are speaking about it as well but that gets real rabbit-hole real quickly and I wouldn’t know how to curate those properly. 

In any case, I don’t think I’m qualified to discuss this in detail or offer an opinion. When I speak on issues related to AO3, I try to confine it to things I have working knowledge of, which tend to be in the nonprofit fundraising space. I don’t have the legal experience to speak intelligently on this one, and I don’t have a ton of knowledge about what went down, as I don’t know anyone involved very well. That said, I do have ties to some people and groups involved (on both sides) in the sense of “negative encounters in the past” which also complicates matters. There’s a contingent of fandom which enjoys reading my participation as part of a sinister plot of some kind; I suppose it’s more interesting than me just being an awkward dipshit with a history of poor decision-making. Either way, it makes it dicey to speak to wanks in fandom without being very measured. 

Certainly while I’m happy to defend AO3 when I have the knowledge to do so and believe they’re in the right, I also know the organization isn’t perfect and there have been volunteer/labor issues in the past, so I would recommend hearing all sides in this case with an open mind but a critical eye. I unfortunately just…can’t speak to this one in the confidence I’ll do more good than harm. 

ETA: @swords-n-spindles added a useful resource in comments, a burner Tumblr with a timeline and referenced writeup that looks super helpful.

I just saw a take that really put in perspective how it is the people screaming about AO3 “hosting child porn” view the problems surrounding CSEM.

It really seems like the one of the biggest issues that these people have with any and all CP is that pedophiles “can get off to it”. “Pedophiles getting off” is something that is a large focus for these sorts of people.

And, personally, that is the thing that matters the least in these discussions? Whether or not someone is “getting off"—I mean.

The problem with actual CSEM is the abuse and continued abuse of real children caused by the filming/photographing and subsequent sharing of those films/photos. If, in being shared, no one happened to "get off” to the images, that isn’t any better. There isn’t any less damage done than if the people who viewed it did “get off”, because the distribution is the thing that furthers that abuse, not the “getting off” part. The victim is harmed just as much either way, because they have no way of knowing how that material is being used beyond it being shared. If someone happened to not “get off” to the CSEM that involved them, that distribution doesn’t do them any less harm.

And I think this also makes it make sense why these types of people will SHARE instances of what they call “CP art/written CP”. They’re not “getting off” to it, so their view of it isn’t a “bad view”. Meanwhile, if the image or writing is of a real, actual child, whether or not they’re getting off to it doesn’t matter, their furthering the distribution by viewing and/or sharing is what is doing that harm. And if the image or writing is of a fictional child portrayed by pixels and not a real child actor, their viewing isn’t any more or less benign than someone “getting off” to it because there is no real child being harmed by any distribution in the first place.

It speaks to a level of sex negativity which views orgasm something uniquely damaging. Viewing images or writing of fiction is viewed as worse if you orgasm to it than if you do it to go “eeewwwww” with your friends. Accessing real CSEM is viewed as more harmful if there’s an orgasm involved, even though accessing it and not “getting off” to it does the same level of damage to the victim.

It really Does Not Matter if pedos are “getting off”. What matters is whether a victim is being further damaged.

“But they’re still getting off to kids, even if they’re fictional that’s wrong!”

That’s the least important part of this whole equation. The focus is on the thing that is sexual in the moment, rather than on the actual harm. I care way more about people actually being harmed than whether or not someone is being moral. Because I don’t like it either, but I’m not going to put it on the same level as if they were doing real harm to an actual child. I can block them and move on with my life knowing that no children are being harmed, even if I think it’s disgusting and wrong. That’s very different than if real children are being harmed.