Tell me, where are those other guys right now? Are they there with you? Did your friend invite them, or you? Eeeeexactly.

Its like I said. There is no secret ingredient, there’s no competition going on, and I would bet money that your friend isn’t comparing you to other guys at all. He only sees you as you, for you, and it really is that simple.

Besides, as a guy myself, lemme tell you a secret… guys are pathetic. Like, seriously pathetic.

That shredded bodybuilder you saw the other day? He’s been abusing PEDs since his teens and won’t live far past 30

That 22 year old you know who owns a huge house and is raising three kids with his beautiful wife? He’s in crippling debt, and they’re fighting over it

That popular dude who everyone seems to love? His friends make passes at his girlfriend and talk shit about him behind his back

That guy you see around who constantly brags about how much money he makes? Its all just credit cards. His job barely pays half of what comments on social media told him it would.

That guy who just can’t shut up with his toxic positivity? He struggles mentally every single day.

And then there’s you. You’re not perfect. You’re not an athlete. You’re not a g-list celebrity. You’re just you. And your friend really really likes that, hence why he invited you, and not the clowns I listed above. So if you’re not gonna listen to me, at least listen to the people who go out of their way to make time for you. Because they wouldn’t do that if you weren’t worth it.

And if you’re gonna start exercising, do it for you. Do it to enjoy it. Do it so you can live a long, healthy life, not to impress other people.

Good luck :)

I believe so, yes.

I remember watching a video where Markiplier, the king of ADHD explained it like this;

Breaking things down into smaller, managable tasks. I know you’ve heard that a million times, but I’m gonna provide an example.

I have to prep some pizza dough tomorrow. Okay. I’ll mix the dry ingredients together today (the flour, salt, baking powder and sugar) and leave them covered on the counter. Then I’ll go bottle flip paint cans for a while, then mix together the wet ingredients (water, yeast, sugar, olive oil). Cool. The yeast is waking up, now I have ten minutes to go do something else. Then I’ll mix it together and knead. Now my hands are covered in flour so its kinda hard to just walk away. Oh, what’s that? My dough is done and now just needs to rise? This is a great step! Now I can forget about it all day, and use it when I need it. Job done!

I’ll give an example more relevant to you.

I have an essay due. Okay. Lets do this the easy way.

I’ll write my introduction. That’s all done now. Step 1. Why not divide the entire assignment up like that? Just one paragraph at a time. Shouldn’t take long at all. And if it does, whatever, right? Because the one most important thing you can do for yourself is to give yourself time. That’s the hardest part.

I hope this helped at least a bit! Remember, managable tasks within tasks! You’re not stupid, you just slide left to right a lot more than most people. You’re more than capable, even if you don’t always get things done on time.

YES, SOMETHING I’M QUALIFIED TO ANSWER!

Fitness is very literal, my dewd. You’re gonna be walking, so get to walking! Doing some exercises with an exercise box would be good too. Not necessarily box jumps, unless he’s a ninja, but click here to watch one of my personal favourites! (that’s not me).

REMEMBER, a good rep range for endurance is 12-15, but if you want more than that, 15+ is just cardio at that point. Don’t forget, you can flip the box to make it lower if you want less rep range and more rep volume.

Shippit just asked me “what if they don’t have a box???” well, you can use anything box-adjacent. Even the stairs in your house, or your sofa, or anything like that.

If you have a small step, try this exercise in this video, or anything similar. Fitness of the legs is so important for endurance.

And of course, my personal favourite, the ALL. TIME. KING. OF. CARDIO….. jump rope! I don’t care if you suck. I don’t care if you look like a penguin on a jackhammer. Jump rope CARRIED ME through competitions. Its turned my legs into the strongest part of my body by a margin of like, 300%. So just do it. Do intervals. Learn tricks. Holy shit, you will be blasting past this man after a few months of this, but even in the short term, it should help a bit.

(But honestly… I don’t think he invited you because he thinks you can keep up. I think he invited you because he genuinely likes you, and wants to spend time with you doing something he enjoys. He wants to share the experience with you! I can’t be there to train you, soooo… don’t get too hung up on it! You have the rest of your life to train up. And I’m certain that even if you’re a pile of goo by the middle of the hike, it’ll all be fine anyway. Good luck!)

This is a long one, so click below the cut to read my answer;

Y'know what, Cori? I’m pretty similar!

On the outside, you might see this tough-looking dude with tattoos and a moustache, but inside? I’m actually super anxious all the time. It effects a lot of my day-to-day life. It used to be much worse, and at its worst, my hands start going numb and I basically shut down.

The reason your family responded like that is because they don’t understand. They, by the sounds of it, haven’t really tried to either. But holding it against them is just another weight on your shoulders, so instead, I’m gonna suggest some things I tried that ended up helping me;

-DOING IT ANYWAY

This is the hard part. You’re having a stress response because your mind seems to incorrectly register simple things as danger. And it may take time, but making the tough choice to absolutely full-power-blast through one little thing every day can amount to making a huge difference

What helped me with that was asking myself the right questions whenever I started to get really anxious. I’ll give you an example… there was one occasion where I had to turn up to a training seminar (I used to be a competing athlete, for context). I was a wreck. I hated everything about it. I, for no reason, was ashamed of myself for even agreeing to go. I thought I was a complete failure and that everyone would see it.

Buuuut I asked myself… “what are the consequences of turning up?” and “how likely is the worst case scenario?”. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised… there really weren’t any innate consequences to going. So I went anyway, and it ended up going excellently. I was being praised left and right, and even congratulated by the suits running the show, which was a rare treat

And as an example where things didn’t go as well… once it was all over and done with, it didn’t matter anyway. It was over. I wasn’t hurt. And yes, there have been times where I was maybe insulted, or even threatened, but ultimately no long-term consequences arose from it. And that’s the most important thing to remember; if it won’t effect your life long-term, then its okay to just say “I tried!” and move on. And yes, this even extends to things like grades.

Trust me Cori, I know its scary, and I know you really feel like you can’t do it, but I swear to you, its more than possible. And as for your friends…

Remember that they’re your friends!

Maybe they don’t like your music. So what? My best friend loves folk punk and I love rock, metal and jazz… what difference does it really make? We’re not friends because of that, and I know that your friends aren’t friends with you over something so menial either. They like you for you.

And maybe you have messed up a few friendships over this, but… that doesn’t mean its too late! You can say you’re sorry. Go back to them and right your wrongs. Real apologies are so very rare these days, so I know they’d appreciate it. And if they don’t, well… you’ve done all you can. As I always say, earn your right to complain. Just don’t go thinking its too late. People care about you. So give them the chance to prove it. As for what you can do about it…

Try new things!

Maybe there’s a sport or activity you’ve always wanted to try. Or maybe you wanna do some big creative project. Whatever it may be, doing something new will show you that the world isn’t all that scary. And even if you utterly fail, or chicken out right away… at least you tried. And that’s a damn sight more than the Cori of yesterday would’ve done, so be proud!

Maybe even bring some friends or family along with you too!

And one last thing…

You’re not a mystic shaman with a crystal ball

You haven’t picked your major yet? Lemme tell you something…

Have you heard of the true crime boom? Since the explosion in popularity of true crime documentaries, basically everyone and their grandmother has a law degree. Yet barely any of them get that dream lawyer job. Do you know why?

Because ultimately, it rarely matters.

Unless you want to become a doctor, an engineer, or a surgeon, what degree you get barely makes a difference. And if you did want one of those careers, maybe you wouldn’t have that problem. But ultimately, just know that while it IS kinda nice to pick the right major, the person who cares most will probably be you. And even without one, I’d bet money you still have a few marketable skills, even if you don’t know it yet. Maybe, like me, you’ll just… stumble into something. Or start your own business. Or… anything! Just don’t fret too much over the future, because it hasn’t happened yet.

Oh, and one more thing…

While going to a professional isn’t a bad idea, I just started taking 5-htp. Two a day, upon waking and at bedtime. Its much cheaper than medical bills, for sure, buuut… I was a pretty strong-willed guy already, so I don’t know how much it’d help you. Its a harmless natural supplement commonly used to treat depression and anxiety, and I’ve been on it for about five years now, so it won’t hurt. Here’s what I noticed after I started it;

• I could gather my thoughts easier
• My cardio got better, weirdly
• My anxiety attacks thinned out a little
• I slept better

So who knows? Might be an option, so long as you follow the EXACT guidelines on the bottle and don’t overdo it, given you decide to try it

I hope this helped at least a little bit! Good luck out there!

“Dear Maji Man…”

You probably came here from my introduction post. Se lets waste no time and go straight into the submission format

If you’re from one of my other blogs, you know the drill. If not, I’ll lay it out for you. Your submissions should look like this. Its very simply;

“Dear Maji Man

I have a problem where/recently in my life/I need help with/etc etc ((blah blah blah) this is you telling me your problem)

Thanks

Nick”

See? Its just that simple!

Oh, and if you submit something stupid like just “grlfrend cheet” or “no food left”, I’m not going to answer you.

See you out there!

Welcome to tumblr’s very worst (or maybe best) agony uncle page!

Do you have problems?

Do you have a lot of things going on and have no clue what to do, or where to start?

Do you want a third party perspective on your biggest, or even smallest problems in life?

DOES YOUR LIFE JUST SUCK?????

If so, you’re in the right place! Welcome to agony-maji!

First, take one of these potions and drink it;

Now then. Introductions.

My name is Maji Man, but if you follow my other blogs, you probably call me Jack. And this is the place where I take your asks (anonymous asks are turned on too, by the by) and give you the absolute best advice I can about how to deal with your problems.

Do you have an exam coming up and don’t know how to deal with it? Are your friends mean to you? Did your partner cheat on you? Did you walk in on your dad kissing his male personal trainer while still wearing his church clothes? Maji Man is here to save the day, maybe!

It may be a serious answer, I may tell you to try gluing yourself to the back of a hippo… you never know! But its worth a shot. I promise I won’t make fun of you, unless you actually deserve it.

⬇️Submission format is linked below⬇️

Post by @agony-maji

And as always please be responsible, and don’t be ashamed if its something that feels small. We all have problems!

I look forward to hearing from you!

(JUST A LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I am not a qualified mental health professional, or a professional in many things that would help you. This blog is not a replacement for professional help, nor will it be serious a lot of the time. Its just an old guy giving uncle advice. If you take a joke seriously and end up getting offended or actually ruin your life by snapping your teacher’s laptop in half or sending your neighbour’s cat love letters or something, it is NOT MY FAULT. Its funny, but its not my fault. Please remember that when interacting, thank you)