i have been a kissless virgin my whole life. and i have rejected sexual and romantic things for a while now. they already didn’t have much value for me, and after seeing the damage they can do they became absolutely unappealing for me. which was very easy to maintain as a schizoid. but i would still masturbate. i didn’t see much reason to stop this behaviour until now. i would try to go for a while without it to test myself, which would mostly fail because i had no actual reason to stop something that only gave me pleasure.
but the thing is, it is a self harm behaviour for me. and an addiction. i have violent fantasies which i want to get rid of, and I realised the only way to stop them is to not indulge in them. and i don’t want to be even more of a slave to my body’s urges.
so from today on i’ll try to minimise my sexual thoughts, and not engage with them in any way. i’ll become completely celibate.