
02.12.2018
i am almost certain that whichever ai scans pics ok tumblr for mature content tagged the pic of lix’s back as a woman’s back

do i make this like a real internet blog diary thing orrrrr. should i stick to being insane here
actually insane that foxfever was one of the two plotting to kill their classmate thats so fucked
giddy becayse husbant got a piercing shes wanted for a while and one that ive said shed suit for a while and she looks SOOSOSOSOO FUCKING GOOD im gonna bust a fat juicy lesbian nut on my screen REAAYUUYFGGH
Thinking of the way all of my favourite people/characters are all called annoying, insufferable, hard to like, hadd to bear and the first time when I knew them I viewed them as a mirror of myself, angels that god sent to me to feel better.
maybe i am just as insufferable, annoying, hard to like, hard to bear. Just like them. maybe even exhausting, ugly, fat, weird, desperate, attention seeking, filthy, maybe ill too. maybe I just try so hard to appear mature, wearing eyeliner, heels, styling my hair, being quiet, keep looking at the mirror at any chance given and try ti remove any imperfection, read complicated books, participate in every lesson. every part of me feels like a lie, dumb, exhausting, like something that was never even meant to exist. sometimes, i think like i embarrass god and make him rethink why he even thought to allow my existence.
i am victimising myself. i probably would’ve been better if i kept ⭐️ving and reached 30.
I’m 300 followers away of reaching 5k here and i already hit 5k on Patreon holy shit, I might have to do something special… 🥺🥺
Me discovering that most of my relationships haven’t lasted long because I have way less patience and understanding with men and genuinely had no relationship repair skills is wild