todays topic will be OCD, specifically “pure-o”
disclaimer: i am NOT a doctor and cannot diagnose you. please consult an actual doctor or specialist if you relate to any of this, and PLEASE do not self-diagnose yourself if you relate to this post. this is simply for educational purposes and sharing MY experience.
personally i think pure-o OCD is the least talked about. I didn’t even know it was a thing until i was diagnosed and had done my own research! so, what is pure-o OCD?
to put it very simply, pure-o OCD is a type of OCD that is caused by mental compulsions rather than physical. so, instead of needing something to be PHYSICALLY “correct” (ie, organizing something, washing my hands, etc), I will think about it and complete compulsions MENTALLY. pure-o OCD is often not diagnosed properly because of this. pure-o OCD also often comes with intrusive thoughts (i will get into this)
like any disorder, it affects everyone who has this differently. i will be talking about MY personal experience. (please keep this in mind)
how does pure-o OCD affect me?
pure-o OCD affects me in a lot of ways, specifically with relationships and social situations. it also gives me a lot of disturbing intrusive thoughts. i often overthink a LOT after social interactions, trying to get something “just right”. for example, i worry a lot about saying something incorrectly or making somebody mad / upset at me because of what I have said. my compulsions often look like going back and overthinking conversations and seeking reassurance from people. getting reassurance often completes the compulsion, which restarts the cycle.
i also get intrusive thoughts. intrusive thoughts are defined as: “Persistent, unwanted thoughts that may be violent, disturbing and unaligned with your values.” (Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials). i will not go too deeply into what they are like for me, because it is a heavy subject. they often involve me harming myself / others, or me worrying that i will get hurt by someone else. intrusive thoughts are normal for everybody UNTIL it starts affecting your daily life.
heavy “episodes” of intrusive thoughts and compulsions are often called OCD episodes. I have experienced this before. please look more into this if you are curious on another site
i find myself trying to escape situations where i know my intrusive thoughts will get worse or spike, and try to reassure myself / get reassurance from others. this makes them worse, because OCD feeds off of an anxiety feeling. if i try to ignore what makes it worse, it makes the anxiety worse. its a cycle.
a compulsion calms down the anxiety momentarily. when the intrusive thought or worry or reassurance-seeking feeling comes back, i will complete a compulsion because I know it will make me feel better momentarily.
i hope this was educational and has helped someone out there :] thank you for reading if you made it this far! it means a lot to me <3 again, please consult a doctor or professional if you relate to these experiences. this was my brief explanation and experience with pure-o OCD.
