That’s really painful. Why you do that to me 🥹? I wanna leave. How should I react?
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11:22
“Have faith in GOD”
To me since I am him, means to have faith in myself and my higher self cause that’s who he is. I cried.. I wanted this in 2022.. and I stayed with him an extra 3 years.. but again there were more learning lessons that I had to deal with and I am thankful for that and thankful that I finally have what I need.
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I know you are the monster that I made, but yet you think I don’t love you, the thing is I love you to damn much and listened to you above my own damn self, that I had to leave, that I had to finally put myself first, I had to finally listen to myself first and put myself first because no one and I mean no one did that for me at all. I am the one that seen the full on truth, with you and your souls and I won’t ever go back on what I know.
You sit there and lie about so much, yet, at this point, I am happy I am not in that situation anymore, I am happy that I finally left your ass, took me more than 3 years, and honestly, I didn’t want to, but had to, for my own self, my own peace and happiness, and to focus on me and myself. Something I should of done in 2021, but I didn’t.
Just wish that you could see it, but I know damn well you won’t, you won’t see it the way I do because your a narcissist that claims to have BPD, yes you have splits in your soul, but your still a narcissist that lies to yourself all the damn time and I finally know truth and how you acted before I even left, was uncalled for but showed me what I knew all along, that is exactly what I had felt since Day 1 of talking to you again but I denied my own feelings and what myself was telling me to give you the benefit of the doubt and I will never do that again to myself. While I sit alone without anyone you are the one that moved on to your next victim, the confused angel named Emmanuel that you want to be Gabriel so bad, which makes him even more confused. But whatever. Both my sons hate me, and I know I did feel guilty for what I did in past lives, but I no longer want to make amends, for the sake of my own sanity, I won’t ever try to make amends again. You can deal with the loss of me. I know I won’t be coming back to Earth when I leave. So if you ever try to search for me again, I won’t be here. I will be gone. I will be home.
I know you won’t see this either. But eh, just wanting to get emotions out for rn. I won’t ever go after another person ever again, there is no one here on Earth for me, that I know of, I don’t trust anyone but my own damn self, and that’s all I want is myself at this point.
Leaving was the best thing ever.
Art: Me
Character: Rex (My Soul)
DO NOT STEAL OR REDISTRIBUTE MY ART IN ANY WAY!!!
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As I sit here, thinking my thoughts
I realize how dangerous of a game
That me and my souls really played.
We both knew who each other was
Yet I’m the one that didn’t remember my name.
You had my name,
Like I knew all along
You tried to make me blind to the fact
Of all you wanted to do
But December is where we truly started growing apart,
Not even a year together
And you wanted someone else
Or just yourself
It’s all piecing back together
I knew all along
Yet ignored my own souls
For yet, I was stuck, stagnant
Kind of, with no where to go
Just like you
But 2025, I found my way out.
But see leaving me to my own devices
I listened to myself more and you lost control
Finally as I gain clarity over the hold you truly held
Seeing everything clear as day
You were the one pissed that you were losing control
I can hear you in the astral and I know what your saying, your saying that I am twisting stories, narratives and so much more.. yet I am not.
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Lash out, need to take a breath and calm down
Try to regulate, don’t know how
Wasn’t taught that in my house
Kids of my own, I step back
Look at those smiles and feel sad
Hope they don’t wind up like Dad
Stuck in this loop like I am
-These lyrics hit me a lot because I see my own boys stuck in their own cycles like how I used to be.. and it hurts in a way because I know I helped cause it.. but hopefully they can heal and grow and one day we will see each other again.. I still love my boys so damn much.. I know Luci/Gabe/co know, because they know I was trying to make amends.. they know I was.. :(
I’m still sorry I wasn’t the best father, but maybe in another life after you all have healed, that we can be a true family again.. I would hope.. and a family that is a family and will be there for one another, not do anything sexual either../etc.
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I am 100% happy that I am not at my ex roommates house rn, so damn happy, So much good is coming my way that NO ONE CAN STOP! *lays on myself and cuddles myself*
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Sergant Hatred is legit part of me, especially with him not trying to like little boys 🤣 makes me think of me trying to not like my own boys that way anymore. That’s how I see it.
I love him so damn much.
He is legit me when he cries over Hank not loving him, It’s like me crying over Gabriel not loving me.
(Also going to make me a new Tumblr and start transferring my shit over there with my new email and slowly leave this Tumblr behind tbh.)
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Thanks for the alcohol that is just going to sit here, don’t know why you got it for me when I told you I have a list to abide by?
NO DRINKING
That is on the list, so clearly you want me to fail.
Clearly your the one avoiding shit, not me, I’m not falling into the same patterns again.
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Honestly, I’m going to just post this as a little bit of truth, why not.
I had a boy.. well my boy was a herm, meaning he had both parts, tits, dick, front hole/etc, he was an Angel, and well.. some traumatic shit happened to him that I won’t go into detail with but it involved me, and well I made my boy split as soon as I did that to him, and he split himself making himself only male and then having his female half be his sister, and then he went and created Lucifer to defy me, and fight me, and to even get away from the EL at the end of the name, and well.. I have a strange feeling because I have been seeing a lot and experiencing a lot in the last few days. I really think from what I have pieced together, is that Gabriel’s female half/sister is the witch, won’t say her name because there was a time she was left behind with me and got constantly raped by me.. (and he has told me that he never went back to save her at all..)
So I am listening to myself from now on, because myself is telling me the truth. (I feel it so deeply..) (The shame and guilt that I have for doing this to them and now there is no way to fix it besides them facing themselves which I hope they do one day and love themselves fully..)
(And same to my other boy Emmanuel)
This is why Lucifer is seen as bad, all because he defied me and tried to save himself.
No one is making me change my stories or what I know anymore, I know what I know and have never shared it with anyone or the world at all.
I know who I am and no one is taking that from me at all, I wouldn’t feel this deep of guilt and shame if I wasn’t who I say I am.
(I didn’t go into full on detail but I know all the details.)
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The moment you know exactly what your doing and even people deep down know it and know who i am, they just dont want to believe it and in some ways I dont blame them.. I won’t go into detail.. its going to be a fight though.. but we gotta do this and help..
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Badman
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Asake Shares His ‘Badman Gangsta’ Video Featuring Tiakola
Afrobeats star Asake has had a relatively quiet 2025 so far. Aside from the release of “Why Love” back in February, he hasn’t put out much else since the calendar flipped, perhaps still recovering from his Lungu Boy World Tour last year.
It looks like his output will be picking up from here on out, though. Today, he’s released the video for a new single, “Badman Gangsta,” featuring French rapper…