I don’t know where my journal is and I NEED TO JOURNAL 🤬
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Sensory Overload: When the World Becomes Too Much
Learning to Breathe in a Noisy World
Sensory overload isn’t just a passing moment of discomfort for me – it’s an overwhelming experience that disrupts my daily life. Alongside autism, and in a world that never seems to slow down, everything is chaotic and noisy and coupled with change, is difficult for me to process.
Since losing my twin, the world is different. Familiar things no longer feel the same. I’ve had to relearn how to exist in a space that feels emptier, louder, and more uncertain. The emptiness and sensory overload often intertwine, making everyday life harder to navigate. Readapting hasn’t been easy. Some days, it feels like I’m constantly trying to rebuild myself in a world that keeps shifting beneath my feet.
The Simplest of Tasks
With autism, my life is built around routine. Routine gives me safety, clarity and stability. When that routine is disrupted, unpredictability creeps in – and unpredictability brings challenges. Too much to think about, too many changes at once, and suddenly, even the simplest of tasks can feel overwhelming.
My mind tries to juggle everything – expectations, emotions, memories, noise, pressure – but instead of managing, it begins to shut me down. Exhaustion creeps in, and even getting through ordinary moments can feel overwhelming. Grief only adds to this weight, making simple things feel heavier than they should be.
The Impact of Sensory Overload
The impact of sensory overload isn’t just mental for me – it affects my physical health too. My stress levels rise, anxiety takes a hold, and my body reacts physically. Digestive issues, headaches, and fatigue, are sometimes common place.
It becomes a cycle. Overstimulation leads to stress. Stress leads to physical symptoms. Physical symptoms make it harder to cope. And when my twin’s absence is present too, that cycle can feel endless. Some days, it feels like I’m fighting battles that no one else can see.
Awareness
So, how do I manage? Not always well. But usually being aware is my first step. Learning to recognise when sensory overload is creeping in helps me to take action before it becomes too much. I try to listen to my mind, even when it’s difficult.
I build in moments of stillness, deep breathing, rest, and mindfulness. I simplify my routines where I can. I avoid unnecessary stressors. I remind myself that it’s okay to slow down. Prioritising self-care isn’t selfish – it’s essential for me to survive and to heal.
Self-Compassion in a Changing World
The world doesn’t adapt to me. Life keeps moving. Loss doesn’t pause time. But I am slowly learning, to adapt in my own way – with more patience, more kindness, and more understanding towards myself.
Losing my twin has changed me. Autism shapes how I experience everything. Sensory overload challenges me. Yet I am still here, still learning, still trying.
Not everyone wants to help those with a disability – but we should learn to navigate ourselves with more self-compassion and understanding. By listening to ourselves and respecting our limits, we can create a life that feels more manageable, even when we’ve been let down.
About the Author
Ilana Estelle is an author and writer, and the founder of The CP Diary. Born with something she didn’t know she had, later learning it was cerebral palsy, and then ten years after — also being diagnosed with autism, she has turned personal adversity into a powerful platform for awareness, reflection, and change. Through her writing, Ilana inspires readers to explore resilience, mindfulness, and what it means to live authentically, no matter the challenges.
Looking for inspiration and honest reflection? Visit The CP Diary for daily insights. To explore Ilana’s books and resources, head to her author page and discover how her journey can support your own.
To check out her site please follow the link: https://www.thecpdiary.com
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🎨: LordKaios
Next on my ref sheet list is my electrifying mutant combat medic, Juelz! I really love the way this came out. He looks so adorable. I plan to do more with Juelz, focusing mainly on him and his dynamic with other characters. In time, lol.
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Overload the mind until you get the hypnotic Blue Screen of Death. Then, the unconscious takes the wheel.
✦ᛉumeᛋᛇ✦
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So full of feelings inside that it is like numbing out. I reached my limit. Now numb time.
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🌀Overload and Confusion
A small warning: the language here can feel trance-like for certain readers.
Read consciously, pause if needed, stay grounded.
✦ ᛉ ᚨ ᚷ ᛟ ✦
Confusion isn’t a mistake.
It’s a door.
We are thinking beings — I think, therefore I am, as the saying goes.
So, there’s a hypnotic technique that works beautifully: overload.
It’s biological, really.
There’s only so much the brain can hold before it starts to overflow.
Like an old version of Windows that couldn’t multitask,
and if you pushed it too far—
you’d get the Blue Screen of Death.
The veterans know what I’m talking about.
The newer ones? Let’s just say there was a time when system errors were something to fear.
So, if the goal of hypnosis were not to think —
(which it isn’t, but let’s pretend for a moment that it is) —
then what better way than to fill the mind
until logic has nowhere left to stand?
When things stop making sense,
and all that’s left is to listen—
too many words,
too many sounds,
too many thoughts,
too much—
and then, silence.
The cognitive system collapses.
The unconscious takes the wheel.
As Erickson might say:
Overload is the art of controlled overflow.
Embrace the chaos.
Because within it—
comes illumination.
✦ᛉumeᛋᛇ✦
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All The Things
I’m writing this blog post thanks to Jeffrey. Because I kind of said I’d be able to blog today, and it’s just a bit past 8.30pm, the dishes are done, the cat has had his meds and insulin (so have I – the meds, not the insulin), even the clean laundry is in the cupboard. So instead of clumsily playing through practice deals on Funbridge or hanging out on the socials, I’m here writing.
I’ve been…
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Break Through Your Training Plateau with Progressive Overload
When consistently training and lifting, the true enemy to our evolution is not a lack of knowledge, but rather, a lack of progress. In other words, we all at some point in our workout journey fall victim to the dreaded “plateau phase.”
We’ve all been there. Lifting and working consistently, doing all of the right exercises in the same routine that we have always used, but suddenly, it no longer…
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My brain right now while I feel extremely overwhelmed but not necessarily in a bad way?
I have university work to do, therapy to debrief from, people to talk to, laundry to hang up (it literally dinged just as I type this), applications to fill out for volunteering and a possible job, research to do regarding businesses, AND I just found out there’s an internship at a company I would sell my left tit to get paid experience at.
Is this mania someone please help me self regulate 🫠
Answer
That’s adorable❤️
Ten of wands rev
Heavy load on your shoulders
This is literally talking about overload 😭😭😭 I’m sorry mate. The cards are real funny sometimes. I don’t even know what more to say😭😭😭
