yooo what up Darwin?!
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Hands down the worst advice neurotypicals give is when they tell autistic people to “just put yourself out there” if you want to make friends because it absolutely does not work and I’ve had more experience trying to make it work than many people on this website have even been alive.
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i’m still thinking about that noir inspired stalking story with the doppelganger feature but i really think this is something that could be really gnarly and good so i want to actually plan everything before writing. i hate planning with writing though i love to let my heart do what it wants (which is why nothing is ever finished LMAO). i want to watch more classic noir (thinking from the 40s) and if anyone has recommendations please send them my way.
talking about the story itself below the cut so. if u don’t want Spoilered don’t read.
[[MORE]]i am admittedly taking lots of inspiration from lost highway but specifically the whole idea of bill pullman’s character (i literally can’t remember the name because he was so lame) being so infatuated with his wife that he can’t get enough of her. this is a quote from patricia arquette who played the dual roles of alice and renee: “He hates women, he doesn’t quite trust [Renee], even though she is his wife. He kills her but can’t remember it, then he recreates himself as this virile young man and meets her again. And now, she actually wants to fuck him and she is in love with him. But even in this version, she is a dirty whore. In this man’s mind, a woman is always the monster. No matter what.”
alice leads bill pullman’s fantasized version of himself astray and is ultimately his undoing despite his character murdering renee. he can’t reconcile it and he goes fucking nuts losing himself in the idealized reality he’s created.
i want something that feels like this but shifted into a butch/femme sort of perspective. i feel like it’s incredibly easy for masculine women to become more misogynistic as they internalize how they’re perceived as they present more masculine. so, you begin dressing and looking differently, and everyone treats you differently. men see you in this weird place of being a women, but they know you won’t fuck them, so they don’t feel the need to act any kind of way around you. or, they place you simultaneously higher and lower than other women (higher because you look like them and you also fuck women, lower because you ARE a woman). i want this story told from a butch’s perspective and it will probably be centered around a character who is teetering on the edge of total collapse. they’re going to be pretty disgusting and misogynistic just due to the nature of the story and what i want to do with it. idk. i need to think on this more and also watch that movie again.
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you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make it suck its own dick unless you remove a few of its ribs