guys if you have some free time feel free to watch this and spread some hate to this creator :D
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The Ides of March and Salads
While at work one night I found a bottle of salad dressing out of place and picked it up to return it. The moment I read the label a stupid idea popped into my head and from that sprang more. And here they are.
An update to my old post with added dressings and salads
Classic Caesar
1.-Julius walks past Brutus-
2. -Brutus stabs Julius-
3. Julius yells “AGGHH! What the hell!? Et tu, Brute!?
4. -Brutus finger guns at Julius and winks- “Tck tch, Classic Caesar.”
Julius:” I’m fucking dying Brutus!”
Ranch
1. Julius: “Look at it Brutus!”
Brutus: “It’s a farm, Caesar.”
2. Julius: “It’s not just a farm, it’s a large farm with cows here just for dairy production, more than 300 cows, which means this farm is a…”
3. Brutus: “No, ……Julius I swear to the gods.”
4. Julius: “It’s a Ranch!”
Buttermilk Ranch
1. Brutus: “Julius, why did you have the cow’s splotches dyed blonde?”
2. Julius: “So that the splotches look like butter.”
3. Brutus: “But why would you do…oh gods.”
4. Julius: “Now it’s a Buttermilk Ranch!”
Brutus: *screaming*
Italian Dressing
1. Brutus: “Julius I was going over the books and noticed you spent 2,357 Denarius in
Sicily.”
2. Julius: “I was with Cleopatra and we did some clothes shopping and sort of went
crazy”
3. Brutus: “So what should I put this down as?”
4. Julius: “Put it down as, Italian Dressing.”
Brutus: “I swear to Jupiter Julius!”
Embalsamic
1. Embalmer: “Oh, hello my Queen, how was your date?”
2. Cleopatra: “It was good, how goes the mummification?”
3. Embalmer: “It is going, but something is odd about the fluid.”
Cleopatra: *dips finger in fluid and tastes* “It’s sweet, with vinegar…”
4: -Cut to Julius Ceasar sitting down at a table looking down angrily at his food-
Julius: “THIS IS THE WORST SALAD I EVER HAD!”
1000 Island
1. Brutus: “I heard you had legislation passed to start construction on new islands?”
2. Julius: “Yes in order to fortify our empire we must have a strong defense at sea”
3. Brutus: “That’s some excellent thinking Ceasar…but why so many?”
4. Julius: “So that we could have a thousand islands.”
Brutus: -screaming-
Blue Cheese
1. Brutus: “Julius,….what is that?”
2. Julius: “That is Babe, we adopted them from a nice lumberjack.”
3. Brutus: “…. Julius, it’s taller than the Coliseum, and IT’S BLUE! What could possibly
be the reason to keep this monster of a cow!?”
4. Julius: “Well for the milk and converting it to cheese.”
Brutus: “Milk from that blue giant, to make cheese!? ….to make……cheese…. I pray
to Saturn Julius!”
French Dressing
1. Brutus: “Julius there is an army approaching from the west, they seem to be here to
stall our advancement further into Europe.”
2. Julius: “They believe they can stop the most powerful army in the world; I shall give a
resounding speech to inspire our troops so they can crush the oppose- “
Brutus: “…And they retreated.”
3. Julius: “…..What? They ran away?”
Brutus: “It appears they just dropped their weapons and uniforms as soon as they came
into range.”
4. Julius: “Huh…must be the French.”
Russian
1. Brutus: “Julius, who was that raggedy, smelly, repugnant man?”
Julius: “Oh he is an advisor from a far-off powerful country.”
2. Brutus: “And what pray tell has he advised you on?”
Julius: “He taught me a potion that can extend my life beyond the norm, here see!”
-passes a vial of a pinkish thick liquid to Brutus-
3. Brutus: -samples the liquid- “…This tastes like the secret sauce they put on my wraps
at the Coliseum of Gyros.”
4. Julius: “What!? But he told me the Queen he advised loved it, and that it revitalized
her. I’ll never listen to Ras again.”
Brutus: “Wait…isn’t that the man they said is the best dancer of their country and he
was having an affair with the queen?”
Honey Mustard
1. -Julius having a picnic under a large oak tree-
Julius: “ah, what a wonderful day, I have all my ingredients set out to make a
sandwich.”
-Notices a beehive above him in the tree-
2. Julius: “Best not make any sudden moves as to not disturb the-“
-Something drops onto one of the condiments spread out.-
“No not the tangy spread!”
3.Julius: “Uggghhh, now my condiment is ruined and -tastes the mixture- ….-looks up at
the hive- hmmmmmm.”
4. Brutus: “Oh Julius you have returned from your picnic, how was i- OH MY SATURN!
What happened to your face!?!”
Julius: “I needth morth homney”
Green Goddess
1. Brutus: “I haven’t seen Julius since the…. revolution. He just disappeared.”
Julius: -shows up singed and bedraggled- “Et tu Brute?”
2. Brutus: “AHHH! Julius, I wasn’t expecting to see you again, what in Tartarus has
happened to you?”
Julius: “Exactly that, I was in Tartarus.”
3. Brutus: “I beg your pardon? If so, how did you escape? Pluto is not one to let a soul
leave.”
Julius: “I had to eat a salad, with a specific sauce, the entire bowl, they giggled at every
bite.”
4. Brutus: “Wait what? Just a salad? Why is that a means of being able to leav-
-remembers who Pluto’s wife is-
Julius: -starts crying- “It was so green, so so green, and thick.”
Coleslaw
1. Julius: “Brutus have you heard of the latest invention!?”
Brutus: “Calm down Ceasar, what is this about?”
2. Julius: “Someone has made a contraption that can shred anything -rushes off-
Brutus: “Oh well that is quite peculiar.”
3. -Brutus continues walking away- “Why was Julius running with a bowl of salad?”
4. Brutus: -stops, turns around and starts running- “IF YOU RUIN THAT MACHINE
I’LL STAB YOU AGAIN JULIUS!”
Fruit Salad (Yummy yummy)
1. -Julius and Brutus walking down the street when approached by a group of handsome
men.-
2. Handsome man #1: “Oh my Venus, look at Caesars hair, it’s so lush and curly”
Handsome man #2: “And just look at that tan on Brutus, wish I could get lines like
that.”
Handsome man #3: “Just look at those two, you can just see their muscles through
their togas.”
3. -The men depart, leaving a confused Brutus and a beaming Julius-
4. Brutus: “What was that about? Why were they so happy? What group of men was
that!?”
Julius: “Oh that was the Salad boys, they are an odd bunch, but I love the
compliments.”
Pasta Salad
1. Brutus: Caesar, I am never taking recommendations from you again.
Julius: “What? Why?”
2. Brutus: “When I was in Italy, I asked for a salad you’d recommend”
3. Julius: “Was it not good?”
Brutus: “It was just a bowl of pasta with oil drizzled over it!”
4. Julius: “At least it didn’t scare you.”
Brutus: “What?”
Pasta Salad (suddenly)
1. Julius: “Uggghhhh, I hate being here in Italy.”
Brutus: “huh? How come, I thought you loved shopping here?”
2. Julius: “I do, but ever since I tried dining here, I’ve had issues.”
Brutus: “What kind of issues?”
3. -all of a sudden, a bowl of pasta salad appears-
4. Julius: “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
Brutus: “It’s that damn salad I had last time I was here!!!!”
Frog Eyed Salad
1. Brutus: “…Julius, what is that”
Julius: “it’s a treat that Macbeth sent over.”
2. Brutus: “It looks awful…. where would he get a recipe like that?”
Julius: “He said he got it from those that prophesied him becoming King.”
3. Brutus: “Ok,…so, why are you crying?”
Julius: “It tastes so terrible.”
4. Brutus: “THEN STOP EATING IT THE CAESAR!”
Julius: “But it has marshmallows in it.” -sobbing while shoveling spoonfuls-
Taco Salad
1. Julius: “This is unimaginative, it’s just ground beef thrown on a salad, it’s like putting
chicken in and saying it’s a new salad!”
Brutus: “It is different Caesar.”
2. Julius: “Adding beef doesn’t give it the right to be called something new!”
Brutus: “Julius, grab the bowl.”
3. Julius: “I don’t see how grabbing the bowl will chan-“
-grabs the bowl and part of it breaks off-
Brutus: “The bowl is edible.”
4. Julius: “This changes everything!”
Buffalo Ranch
1. Brutus: “Julius, care to explain why you ordered so many large animals!?”
Julius: “Oh, yes, I ordered several shipments of Bison, they’re endangered you know.”
2. Brutus: “I know that Ceasar, but why allocate so many? This is most of what’s left!”
Julius: “Oh, I did so to create a conservation, a sanctuary for these majestic creatures.”
3. Brutus: “Oh, that’s…that’s actually very noble of you Caesa-“
Julius: “I’m calling it a Buffalo Ranch.”
4: -Brutus strangling Caesar-
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Women’s Stylish Floral Print Midi Nightgown with Thin Straps, Open Back, Tie Bow, And Ruffled Mermaid Design 🧜♀️ ✨️
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Sleeveless Women’s Dress with a Slit And Bodycon Fit ✨️
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Mrs. Snyder’s Salad Dressing
Anon 1909 Southern York County, PA, USA
One cup each of sugar, vinegar and sweet cream, 1 teaspoon mustard, 2 eggs, mix mustard and sugar, then add vinegar and bring to a boil. Beat eggs and stir in gradually, add cream.
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CATS AT HOME…
With thanks to ‘tgrade5’ and 'hommossantissimx’ (reblogging a posting by 'galexico-blog’)
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