many cloudy nights have passed since the last time we talked. she barely showed up due to the prominent clouds coming to cover her up.
i had nothing to do expect for pondering in front of the lake and sleeping among the branches of the weeping willow, consumed by visceral feelings.
it didn’t felt wrong when i told her those things that night, but it made me feel like i was losing control of my feelings.
it’s always that way with me, i get hurt and then it gets hard for me to open up to someone new.
and it’s not different with her, but something about her blue night glow makes me weak. yet i’m still frightened, cause i don’t want anymore stars on my skin.
something changes in the air, a blue light signaling the moon’s return, sneaking in between the hanging leaves and reflecting on small spots of my face.
i try really hard to stay calm, my body shivering slightly at the thought of her presence.
my skin is barely covered by my underwear, i been swimming on the lake earlier, trying to avoid my thoughts, but failing miserably.
with nothing better to do, i get up, my fingers stretching out in an attempt to keep calm as i head towards the lake.
her glow immediately embraces my body, bringing me an strange sense of warmth and well-being.
with a soft sigh, i step into the lake, submerging myself until the water reaches my ribs.
i’m terrible at breaking the ice and starting conversations, so the first thing that comes to my mind, i say.
“some time ago you said… that you could feel this too.” i look up at her, doe-eyed with lips parted in nervousness. “how?”
silence.
“i don’t know…” is all she says, i furrow my eyebrows very lightly.
i stare down at the lake again, biting my bottom lip in confusion.
“can you feel it now?” i ask, my eyes travelling to her.
“yes.” she whispers, a shiver running down my spine at the softness of her voice. “it’s perfectly warm… almost like a soft pillow.”
i hum in response, my fingers moving in the water when the next words come out of my mouth with a nature that is undeniable.
“i wish you were down here…” i cover my mouth with the palm of my hand, cheeks burning in embarassment at the sudden confession.
there’s a long silence, and something inside of me tells me i did something wrong, but instead of apologizing i stay quiet, my body shaking in anxiety.
“do you?”
