Swimming is thirsty work

hey guys! team building exercise tomorrow MARCH 15 at the senate session. and don’t forget to bring your knives can-do attitude!

There is going to be a dramatic paradigm shift in the management of the Republic.

To be entirely fair, Weiss had her chance.

Death by Fire

Jaune: *Thinking to himself about the crazy time he’s had the past few days. He was starting to question how far it could have gone if it was a prank.*

*Ping*

Jaune: *Blinked, confused. Who else would they have pulled into this? He opened it to find a strange message.*

Jaune: *Eye twitches as he closes his Scroll.*

\Meanwhile/

Cinder: “I don’t get the point of this.”

Emerald: “It’s best to consider what you look like through a lens. If your swimwear doesn’t look good on camera, it could be used against you.”

Mercury: *Leans toward a disguised Neo.* “What are the odds this is just Emerald wanting to check her out?”

Neo: *Creates a sign to answer him.* [That’s a fool’s bet.]

Emerald: *Walks over to Cinder.* “Now, we just need to… wait. Are you texting someone right now?”

Cinder: *Blinked in confusion before looking at her Scroll. And the app that was open because she’d been making plans. And the number that received the impromptu selfie. She closes her Scroll and marches for the door.*

Emerald: “Ma'am? Where are you going?”

Cinder: “To fix this fuck up and keep our cover.” *She exits the room and moves with purpose.*

Emerald: “Wait!” *Runs after her,* “You’re still in your swimsuit!”

Mercury: “Odds one of them comes back getting laid?”

Neo: *Pauses a moment before she creates her answer sign,* [Double of nothing they both get some.]

Old Soviet Joke

A pessimist says: “It can’t get any worse.”
The optimist replies: “Oh yes it can.”

NYC at the moment.

the average twitter vs tumblr community experience

Sometimes it’s two weeks of nothing but circles and then back to triangles.

calm down guys, it’s only the 8th

Let - Freedom - Honk

1h fox doodle

I thought it was Hittite land…

Depends on which part of Turkey. Ionia is on the West Coast.

take me to art museums and make out with me

But they said to not touch the masterpieces

Well somebody’s gotta pin the artwork to the wall

This is Johnson, those idiots are fucking in the east wing again.

World Heritage Post

…Why am I taking this?

Life is the Emperor’s currency; spend it well.

I want a pastrami on rye with mustard. Can I have that instead?

Pick up the weapon Guardsman. We didn’t spend ten thousand years spitting in the faces of alien scum, warp abominations and traitors just to have you muck it up.

I call dibs on the Baneblade.

Due to significantly less Baneblades than Plasmaguns, there is quite a waitlist to get a Baneblade.

How long is the waitlist for a Basilisk?

*looks through the records*

It really depends on if you are currently being invaded by Tyranids.

Otherwise, you need a team of at least 5, and we can probably have it within a couple of weeks.

What about a Medusa (Siege Tank)?

If you feel like being a Grenadier, yeah, sure. The next batch should arrive in a month or so.*

*Aberrations in the Warp can significantly alter transit times.

Do we have any Field Ordnance Batteries ready?

The novel Field Ordinance Batteries are still struggling to produce enough to meet demand. If only we had not lost contact with Vostroya.

Do we have any Heavy Bolters left?

Oh, you had better believe we have Heavy Bolters. Infantry tripods, sponsons, coaxial, bunker mounts, Astartes, twin-linked. If you want ones for Cogs, though you’ll have to ask them directly.

What Leman Russ variants are ready to go?

I pray for an Leman Russ Eradicator.

But I’d take a Leman Russ Demolisher in a heartbeat.

Let’s see, Battle Tank, Exterminator, Annihilator

Vanquishers, Demolishers, and Eradicators are available, but reserved for those with more experience with the Leman Russ.

Punishers are available, but you'l have to prove you have appropriate fire discipline.

Executioners are not generally available.

We also have Conquerors if you’re feeling zippy.

How are the Chimera stocks?

I love to see a Griffon

Or setting the enemies of man on fire with a Hellhound.

I would say we have every Chimera, but it seems like every couple months a shipment comes with new varieties.

So, the answer is just a plain yes.

Then, please, for the glory of the Omnissiah, may I have a Griffon

So I may burn and or blow up the enemies of the god emperor.

If you could see that a few Inferno Rounds and Melta Shells are in the ammo locker, it would be appreciated.

The Cogs are blessing it as we speak. Bring the Wrath of the Emperor down upon the enemies of Mankind.

oh I forgot to ask who are we fighting? So I know what tactics to prepare.

1. Orks
2. Tau
3. Eldar
4. Dark Eldar
5. Necrons
6. Other Imperials

*rolls a D6*

Necrons.

• Over Emotional Elves: Good
• Fairies are made by said emotions: Incredible idea.
• Fights like Kancoll: Kancoll is shit, but it works for elves.
• Asexual Reproduction via death: So, like a reincarnation, or something?
• Asexual Reproduction otherwise: Really curious.
• Making out can cause Elves to be conceived: Hilarious.
• Euro-Asian Accents: So, what, like Russian? Mongolian?
• Elves with Crossbows: I sentence you to death by hanging, drowning, and then burning of the body.

Funny you mention reincarnation because i plan for Elves to become trees on death and, so a fruit containing a elf baby would soon grow on it.

For the asexual reproduction in general let me give a example. A Elf visits a human village during a festival, due to her enjoyment and general high spirits she finds herself pregnant and conceives near the end. That does give me a idea of where the village demi-goddesses come from, the fey gifting a magical child sounds soemthing they would do.

Now im thinking the wood elves getting crossbows is due to weapon autism and Wood elves in general are military larpers along with the druid hippy stuff thry usually get

Do the trees grow more than one Elf?

No unless you somehow make the Elf schizo or whatever “presteiging a emotion” means

So, what, Elves only ever increase in number, because death means nothing to them?

Hmm, I didnt account for exponential growth. I just figured elves dying easily to quite literally a bad day would be funny. That and the tree reincarnation thing to be a very delicate process, what with it taking a far longer time for the new elf to be even begin to start forming. Meanwhile they would be considered any other tree that can be chopped down and such. One of the things that actually started thr great war of the past is for Dragons to start deliberately burn the grave trees so thats a way to cull their numbers. Also thats a reason I made elves can only be born from strong, consistent emotion. Momentary strong emotion just gives you a fairy and they are by no means permanent beings. That doesn’t change that the Elf population is eternal (old population) + (new population) with no outside factors. Maybe the fact age is such a non linear factor for elves be the ultimate thing preventing them into taking over the world from sheer numbers. You can have a 10 year old elder and a 1000 year old child and thry can swap depending how strongly they feel that day. That or if they die too young it takes even longer for the reincarnation cycle to kick in, or it doesnt even work right entirely. Things for me to muse on in the future. I did have the thought of a “feral” elf to just be a dryad

Dragons doing a cull ever few centuries would probably solve the problem. Especially if they can get pregnant from making out.

I just realized there is confusion. Im pretty certain we can all agree that a deep kiss between two lovers is a highly emotional experience, but for it to be what allows reproduction is a (slight) exaggeration. I’m certain you noticed that I emphasized that a high emotional state for a prolonged period is primarily what is needed for the creation of a new elf. Between elves, this takes the form of a long courtship period. Because all though it would be easy to get the two of them to mutually feel the emotional state “i want to be in your life forever more”, its just as easily to get them out of it. The summarize it as “knocked up with a kiss” while grossly innacurate is highly comedic, thus what I led with.

You do know they have the usual reproductive organs right? (maybe some bs due to elves liking humans they copied it, along with the physical pleasures it brings, etc). They are like ¾ths magic ¼th real, thats one for the reasons they are also all female.

Im surprised we veered into Elf reproduction outside of a phoneix-like reincarnation (but with trees). I thought the more pressing matter would be me giving Wood Elves crossbows due to thinking it would suit their usual environment of highly dense forest

I was actually thinking that this was like Pleasantville, about how the changes to colour became because of passion, not the physical sex.

I remember when the news about the Catholic Church came out that they were sheltering sex criminals and protecting them from prosecution. It was the biggest scandal in the world, everyone was talking about it, practically couldn’t escape it. Nonstop news about more and more instances of it happening, TV shows and movies making it a running theme for years.

Everything happening with migrant rape gangs is just getting ignored. Like it’s openly happening and there’s a refusal to act.

Everything with the Epstine files is all swirling around how this could be used to prop up one political party or another. But the only people who want to see something done are just regular people posting, not actually people who can make arrests.

The entire point of having a criminal justice system is to hold people accountable for their crimes on behalf of the rest of us. If they won’t do their jobs, then they are aiding and abetting the criminals, and deserve the same punishment.

Their worldview is consistent, if twisted. Christians are always at fault. Muslims are never at fault. So of course, they beat the drum on any sex scandal of any Christian denomination but ignore the rape gangs.

It’s ironic how British right-wingers are called racist for (checks notes) complaining about apparent police racial bias and preferential treatment.

Removing your head and neck, and then replacing them with a gigantic armoured radome, will free you of those pesky critical hits.

Not sure why I put a clavicle mounted sensor array in there given that my mechs, by-and-large, never seem to have eyes.

Just playing around with fun ideas at the moment, I guess.

https://www.patreon.com/TheInsaneum

every x-men media ever

episode one

episode two

episode three

episode four

episode five

episode six

episode seven

episode eight

i got this all, that’s why these girls out here hatin’

It’s crazy to me that things made to this template are still being released even now, years after they have been definitively rejected by audiences everywhere.

At first I thought it was just because of how long movies take to get greenlit and produced, and so stories that some idiot proposed during the #MeToo craze had to be seen through once in motion, but that’s all 10 years ago now, and we’re still seeing woke, manhating nonsense like this dropping and routinely losing tens - if not hundreds - of millions of dollars each time.

It’s bewildering because it doesn’t seem to be possible that any business can keep on existing with those kinds of catastrophic losses, year upon year, ruining their brand and destroying any goodwill and expectation of quality their audience might still have. I can only assume the USAID-type ideological propaganda funding must still be coming in from shady sources behind the scenes, propping them up, but surely even those must dry up eventually.

…Why am I taking this?

Life is the Emperor’s currency; spend it well.

I want a pastrami on rye with mustard. Can I have that instead?

Pick up the weapon Guardsman. We didn’t spend ten thousand years spitting in the faces of alien scum, warp abominations and traitors just to have you muck it up.

I call dibs on the Baneblade.

Due to significantly less Baneblades than Plasmaguns, there is quite a waitlist to get a Baneblade.

How long is the waitlist for a Basilisk?

*looks through the records*

It really depends on if you are currently being invaded by Tyranids.

Otherwise, you need a team of at least 5, and we can probably have it within a couple of weeks.

What about a Medusa (Siege Tank)?

If you feel like being a Grenadier, yeah, sure. The next batch should arrive in a month or so.*

*Aberrations in the Warp can significantly alter transit times.

Do we have any Field Ordnance Batteries ready?

The novel Field Ordinance Batteries are still struggling to produce enough to meet demand. If only we had not lost contact with Vostroya.

Do we have any Heavy Bolters left?

Oh, you had better believe we have Heavy Bolters. Infantry tripods, sponsons, coaxial, bunker mounts, Astartes, twin-linked. If you want ones for Cogs, though you’ll have to ask them directly.

What Leman Russ variants are ready to go?

I pray for an Leman Russ Eradicator.

But I’d take a Leman Russ Demolisher in a heartbeat.

Let’s see, Battle Tank, Exterminator, Annihilator

Vanquishers, Demolishers, and Eradicators are available, but reserved for those with more experience with the Leman Russ.

Punishers are available, but you'l have to prove you have appropriate fire discipline.

Executioners are not generally available.

We also have Conquerors if you’re feeling zippy.

How are the Chimera stocks?

I love to see a Griffon

Or setting the enemies of man on fire with a Hellhound.

I would say we have every Chimera, but it seems like every couple months a shipment comes with new varieties.

So, the answer is just a plain yes.

Then, please, for the glory of the Omnissiah, may I have a Griffon

So I may burn and or blow up the enemies of the god emperor.

If you could see that a few Inferno Rounds and Melta Shells are in the ammo locker, it would be appreciated.

The Cogs are blessing it as we speak. Bring the Wrath of the Emperor down upon the enemies of Mankind.

Just need a heavy stubber, to be quite honest.