',:-|

sometimes the absence is more compelling. let’s lack something and then feel its presence forever in the empty space where it should be.

Oh thanks but what the fuck does any of that mean

You have to be fucking kidding me. These are all Dr Seuss words. You’re communicating with me from the Dr Seuss dimension.

yeah i just generally will more readily accept a story with no male characters than one where the male characters add nothing and are shoe-horned in or they serve no narrative purpose. like why do men have to be included in stories at all, it just seems unrealistic to expect to see men in everything

I beg your sweet fucking pardon

we don’t hate J.J. Abrams enough

Branson Reese, whoever you are, I keep your words in my heart all the time.

“branson reese, whoever you are” put some respect on the smooth sharks one fear man’s name

(guy who has forgotten the words “public domain”“) mikey mouse is free use

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it’s cooking and burning it

I am shocked at how many people don’t have an actively hostile relationship with advertising

I am skipping your ads as fast as I can. I’m skipping past your sponsor read. I’m muting the tv. I’m muting the tab. If they get too annoying I will simply stop trying to watch.

If advertisers can use every manipulative trick in the book to get me to buy their product, I am fully within my rights to do everything I can on my end to make their job impossible

Oh my god

bro doesnt even have the jennies (certain je ne sais quois)

white ppl with small dogs will go places u never thought possible

ALT

this was about a dog i saw inside mcdonalds but ur right . ur so right.

One of the best images. Like we’ve all been here folks

IIRC, they had to terminate the project because the crows were attacking humans who were smoking cigarettes in order to get the “butt.”

Let The Crows Force You To Quit Smoking

ALT

i call this phenomenon “god hates me”

A patient, explaining what their relationship is to their new visitor who was headed up to see them, said, “he’s my guardian,” and I said “oh I didn’t you had a legal guardian,” and the patient said, “he’s not my legal guardian, he’s my spiritual and physical guardian. He is also my brother. Well, I say he’s my brother. He’s like a brother. He’s my husband.” And I say this with genuinely no judgment, just pure curiosity, what

i feel like a lot of fandoms pride themselves on being gayer than the source material but have they considered being less racist and less misogynistic than the source material as well . could be revolutionary

tumblr is a website full of funny posts and great art and also people being wrong about things that you never thought you’d see someone be wrong about and people finding new and creative ways to be misogynistic in such a way that it appears woke to the untrained eye

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

okay time to straighten my legs man I’m so excited

I f eel like a suit of armour that was attacked by a welder

I am nineteen years old

I am so sorry I just turned 20 I hope you can forgive me

. yeah okay true I did do that

Happiness Will Come To You.

when tho

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.

honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March

new favorite tweet

they should allow you to report posts for being gauche or passé

Mondays aren’t that bad once you cannot tell days apart from eachother

they call me the information withholder for reasons i won’t get into

we need to find the beating heart of The Job Market and we need to plunge a holy gleaming blade into it. its the only way to be free