it’s meee I’m your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you’re gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don’t protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There’s more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else’s survival, but you’re not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called “shareholders.” So. 🙏 I’ve been killing people,

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas “accionistas.” Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des “actionnaires”. Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！ 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me

variations on “feel old yet” meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn’t very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can’t finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn’t even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

Link to list of all my DND Homebrew collected in a single post: Here

The best way to sort my account to see just my homebrew is with my tag: ’#Ncat Homebrew’!

I also have a Kofi now!

I feel like it’s a really common trope to have a non-biological entity disgusted by squishy bio things like secretions and flesh and stuff but. Wouldn’t they utterly lack revulsion to those things? The reason we are repulsed by things like blood and shit and corpses is because they are intimately connected to our bodies, are uncomfortable reminders of our animal mortality, can be vectors of harm, or are a signal of danger. A being made of energy, metal, or plastic does not have the same sympathetic connections to these things that we do, except as a kind of intellectual sympathy for what people they care about fear. Disgust is repulsive, and you can only repel something if it’s close to you. I think the things that viscerally repel a non-biological mind are not going to be biological.

Hmm… Maybe not as extreme as a corpse, but if you handed someone composed of mostly metal an extremely corroded piece of copper, I could see them reacting like you just handed them a very moldy orange.

To reach “handed a decomposing roadkill squirrel” level, maybe give them something with identifiable parts similar to what is in their body, like corroded circuit boards, batteries, wire connectors. That’s a more direct reminder of mortality.

I remember yonks ago reading a Transformers fic where in order to accomplish something or other the human hero and the transformer buddies were investigating an abandoned salt mine, which the transformers found horrifying and disturbing due to the corrosive effect of salt on metal

I’m genuinely surprised that Neopia gave sufficient fucks to pull the plug. There are a lot of officially licensed tabletop RPGs that make an absolute shitshow of the properties they’re ostensibly based on and make it to print without a peep of protest from the licensor, some of them involving franchises with much bigger bottom lines than this one, and fucking Neopets is the one that does their due diligence? Really? Really?

neopets ttrpg Situation (feb 8th 2026)

(most of this is reposted from a previous post that had reblogs turned off by OP. it was requested i repost my reply so folks could keep sharing)

summary: the Official ™ neopets ttrpg beta draft was just released - on google docs - with public comments turned on - a FULL YEAR after the physical books were meant to be shipped out. even with 85% of it being ripped right from d&d 5e its incredibly half baked and messy and full of errors

i assumed it would be bad based on the kickstarter and therefore didnt back but this is bad in such a wildly different way than expected

these are merely some highlights when i was going through it on friday before i got lightheaded from laughing and had to make dinner

essentially its a piecemeal of mostly d&d 5e, with some pathfinder 2e and maybe savage worlds thrown in. largely seems to be a fairly dark dungeon delving / murder tourist kind of game that assumes lots of gritty tactical combat and pc death

the most charitable reading of it i can come up with is that this is what d&d 5e would be if it existed in the neopets world?? like this is d&d 5e For neopets?? which i dont think is what anyone was expecting and absolutely no one wanted

there is also some sort of internal snafu happening with geekify (ofc) and according to reddit the reason the beta is so late is that they may have gone through several full teams who took all their work with them upon quitting. when the gdoc first dropped there was a whole tab with nothing there that only said the team hadnt been paid to write that

importantly it does not seem like anyone on the team is a ttrpg designer of any kind

(new info since original post) i did have a trusted source tell me they interviewed to join the team a couple of months ago and it fell through, so it does seem like they were trying to replace / add new team members Recently

additionally, i received this ask earlier today (they requested their url be cropped out)

*i do not know this person personally and cannot vouch for this info, but it does seem to line up with what we know rn

despite being a huge neopets guy growing up i looked at the kickstarter in 2024 and said. lol. thats a trainwreck. i’ve never seen a PDF copy or character sheet paywalled behind stretch goals before (these were the first two stretch goals, at 2.5x and 3x the original funding goal of 40k usd)

anyway yeah its worse than i ever imagined and i do have screenshots of me telling friends it was going to be awful almost two years ago lmao. i did download a pdf copy to preserve for history cause i cant see the gdoc being up long

found a snake on youtube that legit gets angry and strikes at its owner’s laptop whenever markiplier is on the screen

I’m subscribed to that channel. The owner has played multiple other YouTubers to see if the snake just hated Markiplier or was just hostile towards men. Turns out he was fine watching all the other YouTubers he just hated Markiplier specifically 😂

The snake with other YouTubers:

Vs the snake with Markiplier

Tofu the snake! the owner has been running several various experiments based on people’s thoughts/theories in the comments, like showing an edited image of Mark (it took Tofu a few minutes to recognize him, but once they did they immediately started trying to attack him) and even bringing in other snakes to see if they react too (none did). so far the consensus is that Tofu just really fucking hates Markiplier

Tumblr be kind

i have never understood or played magic the gathering, but i have nothing but respect for it after seeing this tittieless snake woman

you could have gone the easy route. you could have given her titties. but you didn’t. cause she’s a reptile. thank you mtg. thank you.

She is feeling Fresh and Fabulous. 

SHE SURE IS because she is literally finishing up a shed there, look, you can see the last of it clinging to her tail

but she’s already dressed again, after peeling off the skin that would previously have been under that armor

the only logical conclusion here is that she wanted a picture of herself at her SHINIEST and PRETTIEST and hurried to get dressed once enough of her fresh and shiny new skin was uncovered

I bet her bestie took the picture and has been eagerly waiting with the magical fantasy camera for like, hours

“oh my GOD T’sissra your scales are SO VIBRANT this picture is going to be AMAZING”

Extra bonus points because she used that skin as part of her backdrop. Its like a banner behind her head.

‘Out with the old, in with the glam!’

I read “finishing up a shed” and for a few microseconds I was like “sexy AND an accomplished carpenter”

You create some strange things when you haven’t had a session in a while

The Initiate

Coming again with a new class option: The Initiate!

Being an adaptation of the concepts presented in 3.5’s Tome of Battle, the Initiate is a class that blurs the line between martial and magic, letting you use your physical skills to do sick as hell wuxia stuff!

Also included is a handful of bonus feats and a background :)

Document Link Here

he’s reeeally pushing his luck

Mx why are they so shaped.

Chuletas con puré

The trouble with discussing player-hostile design in the Dark Souls series is that it legitimately does do some really interesting stuff with player-hostile design, but practically none of it is combat related. The series’ reputation for player-hostile combat is almost entirely the product of people playing the games badly on purpose and acting like everybody else is doing it wrong.

Open world survival game where if any of your attributes get too high, people who cultivate, worship, or oppose that attribute will show up to kill you. In some cases this is straightforward, like skill at firearms drawing challenges from rival gunslingers, or powerful psychic abilities attracting witch hunters, Caves of Qud style; for attributes like “Cooking” or “First Aid”, the motives involved may be more eccentric.

Metroidvania about badass deep space bounty hunters scavenging precursor tech from alien ruins, except there’s something wrong with all of the upgrade items that gives you various non-standard game overs if you collect them yourself. Instead, you need to lure one of the other badass deep space bounty hunters to collect each upgrade in a sort of reverse escort mission type deal; afterwards, data you’ve gathered from observing what the upgrade in question did to the poor sucker who collected it – and possibly from fighting them as a boss, depending on what that effect was – allows you to create a human-safe version for yourself. There are a limited number of other badass deep space bounty hunters on the planet that you can feed to the upgrades, and not all of them are physically able to access every upgrade, so obtaining 100% completion represents a non-trivial routing challenge.

different bounty hunters produce slightly different “safe” upgrades. In some cases the differences are cosmetic, but in some cases the difference can change what routing options are available.

One of the bounty hunters near the start of the game is, like, right next to a pretty useful upgrade, like a dash. Unfortunately, he is also the only one that can get you the double jump, which is of course required for the true ending, and on the opposite side of the map. While dragging them across every zone, you end up getting to know them pretty well. Have fun betraying your new buddy who trusts you!

baby dragons whose scales are much more shiny and iridescent in order to hide in their parents’ hoards

absolutely excellent top-notch thought here, but now you’ve got me wondering what’s trying to eat them

you misunderstand, this isn’t ‘I look like the ground so predators walk right past me’ camouflage, this is 'I look like the savannah grass so I can pounce on unsuspecting prey’ camouflage

they’re hiding in the hoards to bite the hands of unsuspecting humans who sneak past mama

Perhaps the shininess also makes them more endearing to adult dragons, increasing the likelihood of adoption if something happens to mama.

maybe dragons collect hoards to camouflage their babies

the second eel at the end in its little cuck shelter 💜

eel deets from @whitefangthefightingwolf

My big hot take that I feel more intensely than I thought I would prior to realizing it is that White Chain from Kill Six Billion Demons is the single greatest trans character ever written and illustrated and she deserves to be the most important quite frankly. She deserves to have an infinitely greater cultural impact in wider trans media and I’m wounded that she doesn’t. She’s a black trans woman born as a genderless angel and her self actualization moment is literally the most profoundly moving and devastatingly beautiful sequence of panels I’ve ever seen in my life, bar none. It is so important to me. It is power and beauty and so raw in a way that nothing else I’ve ever read has ever been. In a story that works in subtext the whole way leading up, it is a moment of turning to the audience with absolute unbridled bluntness in its message that masterfully takes all breath away without ever feeling the curse of the heavy handedness that plagues other “I am a trans woman” moments in other trans media. It is a perfect encapsulation of someone struggling, agonizing, desiring to find some sign that they should uphold and conform while their very soul undergoes transformation, becoming beautiful and divine in a way that cannot be fathomed by any who try to pressure her to stop. Her body is a symbol of shackles in a way that isn’t just agony or ugly loathing; it is stone, heavy and burdensome and hard, but it is when she breaks that stone and becomes flesh and blood that she RADIATES power like no other media I have EVER seen depict a trans woman.

There is NO ONE in trans media like White Chain and it’s a god damn CRIME I don’t see her celebrated as a cornerstone of the beauty we can embody when stories are written about us with true love and care and reverence.

Please please please, if you are a woman of any kind, but ESPECIALLY a trans woman, I consider kill six billion demons absolutely integral reading material, there is simply nothing else I’ve ever seen come close yet in my short life that does women’s beauty of all kinds the same kind of justice.

i made Vanessa Stockard’s cat Kevin in spore [2008]. please look at her paintings of this thing

badly!

here’s a gif of Spore Kevin doing the only dance that looks decent for him, and a gif of him shaking vigorously, just for fun. It was made from his walk cycle.

One of my favourite reading comprehension failures I bump into on this blog is when I criticise a game and I get folks coming to me like “well actually [thing] cannot possibly be true of [game] because [game] has one sentence in its introduction that says [other thing]”. Like, y'all are aware that it’s possible for a text to make claims about itself which are not true, right? Hell, if tabletop RPGs were people, claiming to possess features which they do not in fact possess would be one of their favourite pastimes!

More pertinently to recent discussion, the explicit claims a game’s text makes about the roles of the players and the GM need not be in any way consistent with the understanding of those roles articulated by the structure of the mechanics – and I’d argue that inconsistency is more the rule than the exception there.

#writing “have fun!” as my tongue-in-cheek rule zero #then using that to say that anyone who didn’t have fun was simply not following the rules properly (via @fjordojustice)

commission for @kimiheartblade!

(commissions are open!)

ungrounding exercises.

what are five things you can’t see? can you breathe in and out really really quickly for me? what are your biggest fears and what are the fastest ways they might occur? slouch in your chair put your hands on your head and picture yourself using your psychic powers to kill everyone. shoot the nearest dog.

BRB, writing an essay arguing that, since the number of people doing character build theorycrafting is anecdotally much greater than the number of people engaged in active group-based play at any given time, Dungeons & Dragons in its modern form should properly be classified as a solo journalling game.

Warlock - Pact Boon of the Poppet

The idea popped into my head and I just had to get this brewed up! So, here I present, the Poppet back boon, where your warlock gets the ability to create creepy little puppets! Useful for spying and cursing enemies, or keeping an eye on the wellbeing of your friends!

Hope you enjoy!

Document link here!

Warlock - The Dragon

Made this in collaboration with my friends @zarithial, as well as @garlicguy555. But yeah! The Dragon Pact!

Hope you guys like this!

Document link