things to say after fucking up egregiously

• pack it up boys we’ve made a social blunder
• let’s run that again
• one more time normal style
• I’m going to become a statistic
• further proof god is out to get me
• it’s because I tore my acl senior year
• I couldn’t do it for religious reasons
• my ex took my talent in the divorce
• good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)

do u know what pisses me off? a lot of things where do i start

when i was sixteen and insane for my shakespeare class final i had to do the “alas poor yorick” monologue at a competition and while i was doing it i had this insane thought of like. i’ve never been and never will be closer to experiencing hamlet’s mental state than i am right now. like of course all that stuff didn’t happen to me but when you’re 16-19 you kind of feel like all that stuff is happening, all the time, constantly

hamlet of denmark: i have a bad relationship with my family and their expectations are weighing on me and i’m worried my friends hate me and i’m really paranoid lately but maybe i’m just not getting enough sleep and i think there’s something wrong with me but i don’t know what and it’s making me push away the people i care about but it’s fine because i’m always right about everything and i always win and i’m going to live forever

high schoolers reading the play:

When I say I love AIs and robots, I mean THIS

friend hangout idea: bring your Catholic, Protestant, and Orthodox friends together and you all beat each other up. #ecumenism

Don’t make your younger self into your own dead wife.

Lighting a candle in the clearing

prints

the 3 genders: friends, romans, and countrymen.

I can understand, visually what 4 out of 5 of these girls are doing.

Ami is polishing or using a wrench to tighten up something. Makoto is either adjusting an interior panel or working on speaker wires(?)

Minako and rei are likely working on the same thing on the dashboard but the limited space in the cabin calls for the awkward angle.

But

Someone please yell me why is usagi

Hitting the top of the cab with a

HAMMER??

She’s helping.

beginning to think like no one in my family is completely neurotypical

was talking with my grandmother and she was telling me how she likes counting everything and how she knows exactly how many tiles are in her bathroom (1,050) then she started talking about how Jesus could tell you how many times he was hit and how many drops of blood he shed i love you so much Nana

beginning to think like no one in my family is completely neurotypical

Not to be the world’s youngest boomer but I hate that everything’s trying to be touchscreens now

Ok I don’t want notes on this anymore goodby reblogs

liking popular characters and ships but in a way that’s completely different from the majority of fandom is like being in the middle of the ocean and dying of thirst because the water around you is undrinkable

every day it gets harder to have a relaxed jaw and decent posture

Love baby. Use baby as pillow

nice outfit LOSER. 1443 called but in a dialect of Early Modern English that hadn’t experienced the Great Vowel Shift yet so i don’t know what it said

*stabs julius caesar in the back* you’re bleeding because you don’t floss

do you want to walk into a cave with me

*drives my Knife Sharpening Mobile down your dash broadcasting vaguely sinister off-key ice cream truck music*

HOLIDAY DISCOUNT TO OUR FIRST 23 CUSTOMERS!

🔪🔪🔪HAPPY IDES TO THOSE WHO OBSERVE🔪🔪🔪

I was the most annoying patient at the hospital today

me looking up the definition of a word i totally know the meaning of i just have to make sure it didn’t change for some reason or i made it up

the “pleasure to have in class” to overly active tumblr user pipeline

Reblog if you were a pleasure to have in class

the devil gaslit Eve in the garden, send post

Since Adam was there as well he was also gaslit

Chat i think the Orthos are on to something here

You shouldn’t date or become serious friends/partners with someone if you can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a car or train with them for 16 hours.

Here’s my logic:

• You should be able to work together to solve unexpected problems like fixing a flat tire or getting lost in an unfamiliar station
• You should feel comfortable and safe enough around this person that you can sit in comfortable silence
• You should be able to keep each other interested and deal with each others boredom in a healthy way
• If you’re gonna form a long term partnership with someone you should probably be able to tolerate each other while locked in a small box for a few hours

These tags are hilarious even though I don’t think you intended them to be.

*pulls European closer* The most populous countries in the world are China, India, the United States, Indonesia, Pakistan, Nigeria, and Brazil in that order, with these seven nations alone making up 48.16% of the world population. You may note with the aid of a map that many of these nations are quite large, and would take several days of travel to go across either in cars or on boats. Almost half of the world’s population lives in places where you can travel in a cramped vehicle for days and still be within the country. Your worldview is limited and Europe is a tiny outlier in travel time and standards for international relations.

“Just because I’m right, doesn’t mean I’m being helpful” is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with

Hey op thanks for fundamentally rearranging my molecules in some helpful way this fine evening

I will be using this image liberally on Catholic social media pages

Sick ass adventure wizard investigates native crustacean with his supportive but easily spooked familiar 

a martyrdom withheld.

Why he did become a little lamb