ALT🔪🐈 A new $5+ exclusive is up!
Fans of size difference and penetration will enjoy this one 👌
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I promise not giggle.
Dear femme and mechs, what will be Zarak’s favorite Buldak noodle?
Carbonara
Hot chicken
3x Spicy
2x Spicy
Cheese
Rose
Quattro Cheese
Jjajang
Habanero lime
Stew
Cream carbonara
See Results
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Answer
Dear Body Befuddled,
I fear that vanity may have come into play here.
By the time the Autobots and Decepticons crash landed on Nebulos with the Plasma Energy Key in their possession, the Hive had become dependent on machines to do much of their work. Their mechanopathic abilities allowed them to control viewscreens, robotic limbs, or anything else they wanted—but the sedentary lifestyles facilitated by these luxuries led them to suffer muscular atrophy in their bodies. The Hive’s solution to this was… more machinery! Through a series of cybernetic upgrades, they regained some of their strength, of a sort that would not wane with langour. For many of them, very little of their original flesh remained.
Still, amongst the Hive, there were some—such as Zarak and Grax—who obsessed over their bodies’ appearance, not just its function. They were living works of art, sculpted to peak physical fitness and vitality… but in truth, their muscles were mere armor plating. The added weight of all these prosthetics meant that, for all their enhanced strength, many of the Hive would struggle to get out of their chairs.
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Gotta catch up on some toy releases this week. First up, NECA’s Ultimate version of Zarak (2023), the half-orc assassin who was originally part of LJN’s first wave of D&D toys way back in 1983. He joins Warduke and Grimsword in villainy.
Lotta love in this sculpt. Like, a lot, a lot: Thomas Gwyn, the guy responsible, has a massive collection of the original Zarak toy, like multiple copies of the same little guy. Just a little obsessed, and that obsession carries through into the design, keeping it recognizably in line with the old design while being undeniably modern in quality. Two heads, one with the hood, one without, both amazing - what a rotten-hearted gobbo. Seven hands, two throwing knives (which fit in his belted sheaths), a short sword and a delightful potion in a round-bottom bottle. Healing potion? Poison? Both, probably. He even has the slight hunch of the original!
Oh, and the grappling hook! One set of hand sculpts is arrange perfectly to allow him to be posed in mid-rappel. It was the first thing I did with the figure, in fact.
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Scorponok’s Dreamwave Bio
I don’t know why this characterization has never been used again, IMO the fact that it was done well in the Marvel comics isn’t a reason to not bring it back since there are plenty of things that weren’t explored that could have been. Like, how did Scorponok even end up being a Decepticon commander in the first place if his secret values matched more closely to somebody like Optimus Prime’s? I guess we’ll never know….
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ALTspent my whole morning on this thanks to this post
bonus:
ALTnot only have they done nothing even remotely romantic in canon, they also havent seen each other in the past twenty session
dialogue transcript under the cut
[[MORE]]first panel: oh, ok. i see how it is. you
second panel: “want me to make more noise in bed”
third panel: but the second i pull the bagpipes out
fourth panel: i’m “not taking it seriously”
fifth panel: i’d never say that. you’re already too loud. / rude!
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Hot orc men in your area are waiting to be appreciated 😉
PS: there’s a nude alternate for all $5+ patrons 😘✨️
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🔪🐈 it’s time to ask nicely 😊✨
A while back I did some Q&A comics, and this comic’s a follow up to one of them!
There will be a part two eventually, and patrons will be getting an exclusive illustration as well, so look out for it!