Me at work this week:
Geeking out about how sharks aren’t actually that scary & are given a bad rep.
Coworker goes ‘yeah but hippos though 😳’ and I’m just internally losing it because YES finally someone gets it
Photo
“I feel like you would have thrived in the 1950s or 1960s.”
“I dig the tunes man, but the extreme racism would kill me.”
“But…you’re not black.”
“You were either white or other back then I think. Even if I could be white…fuck that.”
Chat
Workconvos 3
<p>
<b>Background:</b> he one of my favorite students. He in grade 7. One of my grade 10 female students follows me around sometimes.<p/><b>Student:</b> how many children do you have?<p/><b>Me:</b> ...What!?!???!?!!!!!<p/><b>Student:</b> *looks embarrassed*<p/><b>Student:</b> Well, i always see you running around with that one girl.<p/><b>Me:</b> how old do you think i am???!?!?!!!!<p/><b>Student:</b> i don't know... 30?<p/><b>Me:</b> O_____O.<p/></p>
Chat
Workconvos 2
<p>
<b>Student:</b> Ms. Kim, what is your last name?<p/><b>Me:</b> ...???<p/><b>Student:</b> like, what's your last name?<p/><b>Me:</b> Kim!<p/><b>Student:</b> No, like, your last name.<p/><b>Student:</b> *says some weird form of my first name that she prolly heard other teachers call me*????<p/><b>Me:</b> No, that's my first name. My last name is Kim.<p/><b>Student:</b> oh!!!!!!!<p/></p>
Chat
Workconvos 1
<p>
<b>Teacher:</b> where are you from?<p/><b>Me:</b> I was born in the US, but my parents are from Korea.<p/><b>Teacher:</b> Oh, my wife is Filipino!<p/><b>Me:</b> ... nice... (??!??!?!!!.... ok congrats dude... thanks for sharing :p)<p/></p>
Text
Yes there's a cover charge
Plot: a couple comes in to the lobby.
Girl: do you have to pay to get inside?
Me: yes ma'am it’s $10.
Girl: *surprised* oh.. Really? wow.
Said couple debates coming in for a second.
Guy: you guys don’t serve beer do you?
Me: no sir, BYOB.
Girl: wooooooow. it’s not like that in dc.
Guy: i told you they didn’t serve alcohol. So do you wanna go in, or..?
Girl: yeah.. I guess.. But.. *gives guy a look*
Guy: well, we’re here now.
Girl: okay.
Me: are you guys paying together or seperate?
Girl: ummm separate I guess.
Guy: I got us both.
Girl: *smiles and proceeds to door*
Text
Peachy keen.
Plot: dude bros come back into the lobby after paying to get in. One guy is dressed in a peach button up with the top couple of buttons undone. He doesn’t even have chest hair. His pants are black skinny jeans. His friend is dressed equally douchey.
Dude bros: We didn’t know the rules on alcohol when we came in.
Me: Yeah, I told you when you came in the door.
Dude bros: Oh.
Chat
Paul Walker
Jess:
People need to calm down about Paul Walker's death.
Me:
What if it was Tori Amos?
Jess:
*Silence*
Chat
Kutleven.
R:
Hoe is het daar?
S:
Phil zegt dat ik ben aangekomen.
R:
Wat?
S:
Kut, heb thuis voor het werk expres nog drie sit-ups gedaan
Chat
Baby Punching
JG:
go punch babies
JS:
if only I could without getting arrested
JG:
we should get a stuffed baby doll
JG:
for punching purposes
JS:
or we could borrow orphans
JG:
oh but we don’t punch cuddly things
JS:
oh but I sure could
JG:
no baby punching