I was wondering why all my t-shirt collars are all stretched out!
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Rubys Development
Wanted to start this blog off with the growth of the POV character’s design.
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This head shot is the earliest and I believe first time I ever drew Ruby.
This was the first, and for awhile only, full body piece I had of him? The second piece overall.
Featuring @mythimnasart ’s Phyrra. It would take me awhile before I drew another so it kind of became the default reference sheet. This was also when I came up with the idea for Rubys tail having a barb and the nicked ear.
Some first passes at Rubys arm in depth as I try to figure out how to texture it. This was going to be for a reference sheet but I was having trouble with the design overall and had to re-evaluate it.
First pass at the idea of Ruby having a veil.
The Comics original Icon and cover art.
There’s some design elements I want to keep but they’re both outdated.
I wasn’t happy with Rubys hair so I started experimenting with different styles and ended up settling on the braid we have today.
This was a color test that never went anywhere but it did kind of help push me in the direction I wanted to go.
This is the end result. I think the new Icon has a lot more personality behind it.
which leads us to this.
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Faceted Synthetic Ruby. 8.50 ct.
Lab-created ruby. 8.50 ct. Custom cut. Recorded outdoors in natural sunlight. No filters.
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Redesign of my royal au broooooo
When you lowkey lonely so you just crack your personal jester
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At a crossroads in my riding career. I am burnt out on the horse world. That’s the long and short of it.
[[MORE]]Ramble ahead.
The simplest definition of burnout in my mind is things aren’t working as they stand, and your mind and body are telling you you need to make a change.
Today when I was mucking, Silver came over and stood almost on top of me. I backed up into his chest to get him to back up, and I felt his jaw bump my head, like when he was stuck in the fence, and he also wouldn’t budge. I did it again, and felt his jaw again. Did it a few more times, and it wasn’t coincidence, he was definitely bumping me in the head with his jaw on purpose. He stopped after I finally reached up and smacked him on the jaw. Then he was mad about it and took it out on his neighbor, and then was running in and out of his stall annoyedly.
I got a new farrier. I guess my vet didn’t like the one’s work that my other vet (same clinic…) recommended. I had asked him two years ago to take me on and he wasn’t taking new clients at the time, but he squeezed me in this time. I’m very grateful.
He and his assistant took their time with Silver. It was nice to see a young farrier apprenticing, because that’s also rare. The last guy had him too upright, and took off too much sole. In contrast to when I was mucking, Silver dozed off during his pedicure session. When he’s calm, he’s the sweetest baby in the world, and it lulls me into a sense of security about maybe I should keep him. But when he’s not calm (or when he’s bashing me with his jaw), he’s horrendous.
They also did the babies, who are still kind of in the fighting-everything-new phase. I’ve been working with them to pick up and hold their feet for longer periods of time. But it’s different when it’s me versus a stranger. I got mad at Sage at one point and made her back halfway down the breezeway.
He watched them for a long time, and then asked if next time we could sedate them. I was a bit taken aback because I thought this meant a vet call. But apparently there is sedation paste you give. I was still hesitant because I am not one to trade good training for a band-aid fix. But he said it’s for everyone’s safety, and the girls can remember the good experiences and eventually be weaned off. I’m not opposed to this as long as it’s not a permanent thing. As someone also in a very physical field, I understand wrestling with horses is not good for longevity.
He said Ruby will need shoes eventually too.
The bill was quite a bit. I knew this guy wasn’t going to be cheap, but I was still a little sticker-shocked. I’m sure it’s because he has to split it with his assistant. He also wants them on a six-week schedule, which will add up too.
I’m not opposed to paying good workers good money for good work. But I guess what it sort of distilled in my mind was this: hey, I’m paying a lot of money for three horses. Buying a horse is expensive, board is expensive, feed is expensive, farrier work is expensive, vet bills are expensive, and soon training for the babies is going to be very expensive. Nothing is going to get cheaper.
And for what? To what end? I don’t even want to go to the barn anymore, if I’m honest with myself. It’s such a chore, I’m so frustrated sometimes, it’s not fun anymore. I’m no closer to my dreams with horse ownership as I was to buying Shiloh nine years ago… hell, as I was to starting riding lessons twenty-five years ago. I can’t ride trails, I can’t do shows, I can’t do Honor Guard, I can’t even do Alumni ride, and the more I try to do therapy with horses, the more I need therapy myself.
And don’t think I don’t think I’m part of the problem. When the babies weren’t cooperating, I was hyper-aware that they were probably thinking I haven’t worked with them enough. Some of it is bad luck, for sure. Some of it is hard lessons learned about buying horses, and how some people are not completely honest. Some of it is learning my limits the hard way, too. A lot of it is my lack of training experience, ability, motivation, and resources to troubleshoot problems when they inevitably arise. Plus I feel stagnated as a “backyard rider” with no real access to community or events that would make horse ownership more fun.
But I’m also really disillusioned with the horse industry. Some horse people make car salesmen look squeaky clean. The way the market is structured really does set you up for failure. I feel insane continuing to shop, buy, and then turn around and sell horses a few years later, who test-rode really well, and then fell apart as soon as they got home, and I tried to “fix” them until I couldn’t anymore.
Ten years ago, you could get a nice, finished horse for $10k. $15k would get you something “fancy broke”. But at this point, I’m wondering if you can even get a decent horse under like $20k. And by decent I just mean safe, sane, and mostly sound (because heaven knows they all go lame eventually). But the more you spend, the more accident-prone they are. I bought Shiloh for $125 and he never had any vet bills; Max was $750 and his only vet bills were for abscesses I couldn’t pop myself (but those horses also had a screw loose).
I wonder if I’m chasing the high that I got with Casper and Shorty, with performing high-speed at shows, that I’ll never attain again. When you have that connection, it’s pure magic. And don’t get me wrong, I loved Brandy. But I did not love Brandy, nor do I love the babies, in the same way I loved Casper and Shorty. I guess I’m looking for unicorns.
Anyway, my point is, I keep flip-flopping between “I’m an equestrian forever, I wouldn’t know who to be without horses, I’m not a quitter and I’ll just keep trying, I just haven’t found the right one yet!” and… what if I used all the money I’m essentially wasting on horses to buy a nice little cabin in the mountains, go camping, travel the world more… pursue other things that are actually fulfilling?
Is it burnout, or is it time to face reality about the horse world and let the dream finally die?
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925 Sterling Silver Pendant Pear Sky Blue Topaz 9x7mm Ruby Gemstone Jewelry ebay GemsPorium
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I think I haven’t posted a colony cat video since I started my new job in January. Whoops!
It finally got warm enough a few days ago that I could sit outside with T'Challa and Ruby as they ate. During the winter months, I only saw them a couple of times. I honestly thought that the construction on the house where they’re staying underneath the deck had driven them out of the territory. Nope! Still safe. Saw Graycie a few days ago too.
Amber, who I took to get spayed back in August, is still my main regular. She, plus the vacant-house-deck trio, are my main four in the colony. There is also another tortoiseshell cat, Coral, who I see occasionally, but she mainly seems to live on the other side of Main Street. There’s also a mostly white black-and-white cat, Violet, who I haven’t seen since November. I’m not sure if she’s still around, but if she is, she is the only one left who I’m not certain has been spayed. Very hard to tell when she doesn’t ever show up! Damn it, Violet!
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Ishukan Communication - ruby and Austin edit
Youtube upload (on my alt account):
