i know some of u may be wondering “where were cody’s friends when he was being beaten by randy??” well. i have an answer for you! for sami. i already talked abt this on twt but its gotta go on here too, soo …
here’s my analysis of sami zayn’s pov, watching randy orton destroy cody rhodes.
(this has zowens AND candy in it! mainly zowens but i’m tagging candy for good measure)
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previously in the night, sami had two backstage segments. one with cody & aleister/zelina, the other with trick. in the first, cody and him get into an argument regarding his championship win. it isn’t meant to be a fight, but in sami’s current state everything seems to be a fight.
and as it seems to be for sami, everytime he’s arguing with cody, he says something he shouldn’t say.
“i look up to randy orton!” he says, with conviction in his tone as he stares back at cody, “i don’t look up to you.”
however, sami doesn’t believe this is wrong to say, because it makes sense in his mind. cody is his friend, his equal, so he’s allowed to say his piece and talk to him normally.
when cody fires back, he doesn’t understand why he’s upset by it. cody isn’t a wwe legend, not like randy. he’s just his friend. not someone to look up to. he’s not a fourteen time world champ, he’s not someone who’s guaranteed into the hall of fame. he’s just cody, and that’s okay.
cody doesn’t like that thought.
“you don’t look up to me. well, you don’t need to. just look right here,” cody pats the title mockingly, glaring at him with an animosity sami hasn’t seen before.
that’s when it clicks in his head. as cody leaves, sami realises that saying that made his friend think he hated him, that he didn’t inspire him. cody has inspired sami, many times. just because he doesn’t look up to him doesn’t mean he hates him.
anger floods him, so he has to hit something before he hurts someone he doesn’t want to hurt. his heart sinks and it makes him so frustrated because he doesn’t want to be like this. the way he’s acting reminds him of someone he can’t face, not anymore.
that’s when he hears footsteps.
aleister black and zelina vega, standing like they know exactly what he’s thinking. maybe they do. if they did, he wishes they’d tell him. then maybe he could actually stop these horrific thoughts in his head. something is said, but the words don’t reach his ears. he just knows his ears are ringing and the world is spinning.
“you need to stay far .. far away from me,” sami’s voice is so close to trembling, he stands his ground. “do you understand?”
when aleister doesn’t respond, he feels himself get angrier. so he takes his leave as fast as he can. he can barely hear himself think when he’s in the next corridor. that’s why we don’t see him until just before the last match of the night.
sami, despite himself, knows that this anger won’t go anywhere unless he directs it somewhere. so he goes to find someone who’s been a factor of his pain for weeks. trick williams, who thankfully had a match tonight.
he just needs to insult him, to even get rid of some of his rage, no matter how small. so he does. runs his mouth, unlike how he usually stays quiet. he lets trick know exactly what he’s been thinking for so long.
“i know that feeling very well. you’re embarrassed,” he sneers, inching closer to trick as he speaks. “and you should be.”
trick clocks him, as he usually does, knowing exactly why sami’s here. for a fight. even with no true response from him aside from an empty threat, the canadian needs someone to fight, so he keeps berating him. as the man leaves, sami prays trick will drop him next week so he has something to focus on.
he stays there for a few minutes, alone. just until he hears cody’s music hit. he needs to breathe without thinking about other people, even just for a moment. every breath he makes is shaky, his grip on the crate desperate.
while he thinks on it, his behavior grows increasingly familiar. the anger, the need to fight, all of it points to one person in particular. someone he hadn’t seen or spoken to in a full year, yet he haunted his life regardless.
kevin owens.
a man he loved, much more than he ever told him. twenty whole years they had together and it made him appreciate him much more than any man before him. or, he hoped so. if another man loved kevin as much as he did, he’s not sure he’d get a chance with him.
sami knows he’s acting like him. knows it so well, his heart is starting to panic. thinking about him for any longer than a minute usually causes him to panic, stumble over himself. he’s sure if kevin knew, he’d use it against him in some way. that or he’d just laugh, looking at him smugly like he knows exactly what he’s doing to him.
the familiar sting of cody’s music makes him jump, run his hands through his hair and make his way to gorilla. when he does, him and randy are sitting together at the table, talking. it’s normal, so sami zones out, leaning against the wall as he does.
a smile almost makes its way onto his lips.
but when he hears the slam of a head onto a table, he knows peace is a foreign concept for him. his eyes find the screen again, watching as randy destroys a helpless cody. cody who mumbles his name, asking why through horrified gasps of pain. sami knew they were together. so he doesn’t understand why randy would do that.
he watches as officials move out, watches as cody starts to bleed, as randy humiliates him even further. it’s a horrible scene, he doesn’t want to look. but he can’t seem to drag his eyes away from it as cody lays in randy’s arms, looking up at him like he hung the stars.
the scene reminds him of something.
the nxt title, finally in his grasp. sami reaches for kevin, leaning his forehead against his and smiling, trying to share his moment with the love of his life. his entire body is shaking as his boyfriend grins at him, using an arm to support him as they walk down the ramp together. it’s picture perfect, he never would heve asked for anything better.
until a sharp slam hits his back. the title is ripped off him, all signs of his achievement removed and replaced by a horrific feeling of betrayal. before he can fully comprehend whats happening, he’s been grabbed violently by kevin and his legs are on his shoulders.
he can barely breathe when he’s thrown into the side of the ring like a ragdoll. eyes, dazed and hazy, search kevin’s face for something, anything to show remorse. but he’s turned away. ran away from him. sami tries to pull himself up, reach for him, beg for forgiveness when he din’t even know what he had done. the medics push him down.
pain is all he sees after that.
a gasp escapes his lips when he refocuses. gorilla is empty, aside from him and maybe some tech people, but the screen is on. randy has a chair held above cody, ready to strike a final time against his lover. his expression mirrors one he’s seen before.
sami looks away. he hears the crash, he can’t look at it. it hurts too much to see his friend (maybe, he isn’t sure right now) differ a fate he had so many times from the same man who always delivers it. randy was someone he looked up too, sure, but not for this.
even if, deep down, he has a feeling that cody might deserve it.
the thought terrifies him. his whole body trembles as his legs carry him out of gorilla, taking him to grab his things then get out of there as fast as he can before he has to see cody or randy at all. they remind him too much of his own past and his own horrific feelings relating to this massacre.
sami doesn’t sleep much that night.
and if he does? all he dreams of is kevin.