went to post a fic on ao3 for the first time in 5+ years and the whole site crashed

having a younger brother is such a mind fuck because he’s just this guy but he’s literally made from the same stuff I am. I can’t remember life before him. he was made just for me. I love him so much it makes my skin crawl and he’s the only person who can make me cry from rage in two seconds straight. we live in different cities, states, countries, and I keep thinking about jokes only he would get. he’s my favorite person in the world and I don’t know him at all. he’s the only person I would die for but I only hear from him once every couple months. I can’t picture my family without him, a house without him in it, but I’m the one who left. I’m the one who’s not there anymore. he was there when I was miserable and he didn’t say anything. why didn’t he say anything. why does he keep not saying anything. now I left and I’m happy and he’s still not saying anything. he’s the only one who can make me laugh so hard I get rice in my nose. I keep a picture of him in my wallet. I don’t know who he is. he was there when I cried myself to sleep every night. he never said anything. his are the first pair of eyes I look for in every room. he’s never there. I love him so much it leaves me empty

bridge over troubled water is genuinely one of the most beautiful songs ever written

Wait but if I’m still in 2024 with my tumblr app, will I never see the update on my phone?

it’s almost my birthdayyyyy and i took a whole week off work to celebrate!

today i cleaned up my room, had my husband help me put some stuff on the walls, posted a piece of furniture for sale, and finally sorted through the mail. feeling accomplished!!

i have more plans for a few more chores later this week that i will hopefully get done and then i don’t have to think about them anymore, which is my FAVORITE thing to do

I want to play Skyrim

being open on here cause sometimes I need to be witnessed. so, for 6 months this year, I was living alone in berlin trying very hard to create a good foundation to the life I want to live. I was very alone for a while, and that brought me back into drawing for the first time in years. I scanned some of the things I did, and it made sense for me to have them all in one place. it’s stupid and more of a dump of my brain than anything else, but can see it here, if you even care

It’s just sick i can’t get over it boss i can’t come to work today i need to think about the implications

despite the week i have had i am actually feeling pretty good today….making a list of errands for on my way home and pretty much nothing left to do at work….picking up some stuff for an emergency repair bag in my car + ethanol to kill bugs (sorry hornworms) + outlet timer + maybe some flowers or roachies for ash if i still have energy…and then i will be going home taking an edible and playing currency wars until i get scared God bless

screw it im hitting up my childhood friends. love is worth putting your soul out there maybe

the workout is not the hard part for me at all I can exercise until I short circuit and die ITS THE EATING I CANT DO!!!! I CANT STOP EATING AND THE PROTEIN I NEED IS SO DAMN MUCH!!!!! I HATE MEAL PREPPING

There is never enough water on earth for how thirsty i am

falling asleep hoping to dream sweet of walking that man like a dog

I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

plucked my fuckass eyebrow tails off so now im rocking the

cat hates closed doors so he scratches at them like a madman and once the door is open. Leaves

once my hair is long enough im going back 2 my old trusted bob n bangs. timeless classic

Yesterday was good! I braved the snow and walked to the local cake shop, then went and got a bottle of wine. I went for dinner at my dear friends’ apartment and it felt good to be with people who have known me for so long (17 years for one, 10 years for the other). I gave R a late birthday card and she was so touched; she said not many people take the time to write cards now. I agree, and I started writing cards for more people after a new friend gave me one, so I hope I’m spreading this tradition and R will start doing it too.

Je suis quand même fatiguée ce matin, mais je veux vraiment finir d'extraire le patron de ma robe cette fin de semaine, il me reste seulement la partie du bas à tracer. Ensuite, je devrai ajouter les fronces sous le sein, allonger le bas à la bonne longueur, peut-être ajouter des quilles (j'ai une vision mais je ne sais pas si je vais aimer le résultat), retracer les lignes et faire les concordances entre les morceaux. Beaucoup de travail mais ça fait du bien de faire un projet pour moi:)