Darthsuki in a nutshell

nem lattam jonni

We chase misprinted lies

We face the path of time

And yet I fight, and yet I fight

This battle all alone

No one to cry to, no place to call home

You ever listen to Nutshell by Alice in Chains and think damn what a fucking master piece or is that just me?

I took a photo with my grandparents and my brother was so mad and worry that the same time when i took a picture with my grandfather

ALT

xoxo

And yet I fight, and yet I fight

This battle all alone

No one to cry to

No place to call home

I saw them in May of 2024 and I’ve been waiting for this cover every day ever since. Absolutely beautiful. What a wonderful day it is 🥰

💔

We chase misprinted lies

We face the path of time

And yet I fight, and yet I fight

This battle all alone

No one to cry to

No place to call home

past years: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025

For sake of privacy, I will publish this on January 3rd, 2026! But just know that I am writing this schedule post on December 27th 4pm EST… or like 6AM local time to where I am traveling to.

Anyway! As I write this, all information stands true as of december 24th because I will be capping off my year abroad once more lmao anyway! this year was interesting…? A vast array of emotions to go through (as are most years). Some positive, some negative,and some enlightening. it was a bit slow and it feels like some decisions were made so I hope to see a more concrete action planfrom my end so that the fruition of any efforts can see light. for the new year, I hope to take more initiative but I’ll save that for my 2026 moodboard lol may more fun things await me! and my final words for this year?

i love you moot moot and dee <3

I wonder if there’s just something fundamentally ugly about me to women. Monstrous in a way that wouldn’t be in one of those monster dark romance stories. Stuff about women loving long hair on men, so much stuff about personality and confidence, and at most it’s them touching me in a way I don’t want. I can be friendly and it’ll return back but no one wants to be an actual friend and wants to invite me or hang out in off time even when I force myself to be more active.

Maybe looks, height, and autism (and the difficulties for stuff people can just do fine with enough practice) really have that much importance. Being short, fat, ND, it just makes it hard for people to stay interested in me. I believed years back that if I was myself and tried connecting with others it’ll work out. Now I’m tired almost always and getting lonelier. It’s getting tougher to believe accomplishment, sexual romance, a fulfilling life where I don’t want to collapse or smash my head in a brick wall can happen to me.

This world kills you faster if you’re different, like those racist eugenist pieces of shit who want any excuse to be violent and get away with it. At least I can say I tried to be myself despite it all, and tried finding the right people to connect with. My dog loves me and I have some family that’s around so there’s that. It’s just sad comparing how I was when I first got here and so many things getting worse and wanting to escape to a better world.

GOOD EVENING, LIKERS!!!

MUST…NOT…DOZE…OFF. And that in a #nutshell, has been how my week has been going. I’ve been busy with work, my #Decemberwitches sales over on Amazon (check out https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/LaTorre-Mays/author/B00E0LUID4?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true to see what sales are going on!!!), my changing routine, and of course…#writing.

And speaking of writing, what else did I have going on? Well…let’s talk about it!! AKA it’s time for EDITING, TYPING, AND WRITING.

EDITING. I had mentioned that my routine had been changing. And the time I was used to using for writing was going to life-ing. And life-ing…LIFED. However, I have been slowly maneuvering. I was shocked that I had been doing it so unknowingly. But I had a routine that appeared to be working. And the #fruits of that?

I was happy to report that the second draft of my short story was done. I still had some worries. And part of me might do a third draft off of responses to it. But yay for finishing a new short story.

Meanwhile, I had made it back to research mode for Darkened Soul: THE BREAKING OF CIRCLES. Fingers crossed, I will finish this first leg of research for Draft 2.

TYPING. I had my next project lined up. However, I have found that I kept getting #distracted. Distracted by sleep cuz DUH. Distracted by my busy schedule…and some days I just kept my focus FOCUSED.

I really liked the intro. Sometimes it was nice to have a clear style. A clear voice. And it was there in #spades. I wanted to be sure I hit on all of my points. I was looking forward to having some time to just brainstorm the structure of my project.

Meanwhile…I had enough of my #WIP written out again. So you knew what that meant. It was back to typing up chapters.

WRITING. Writing has been great. I was actually sorry that I didn’t get time to write today. But…#theweek wasn’t over yet.

Poor Alicia. She was going through it right now. If you have been keeping up with my page cuz #algorithm, I have been mentioning my progress. I knew my main character was heading for a fall. And the fall HIT.

What I’ve enjoyed over the last week or so has been the carefulness of my words. The direction of the scenes. The appearances of characters. Scenes had really been resonating, reminding me of things from my #restaurant experience. As well as other times. Yeah…I know it’s my story echoing again but not triggering. Just…feeling it. One day after writing, I stayed in my feels. You would have thought I was Alicia.

Also…stopping on cliffhangers. That made me more eager to get back to writing the next day. That good ole writing flow.

That said…I think after this week, I might take a brief break.

I know, right? There was a short story idea that I wanted to squeeze into my schedule. I also wanted to get caught up on some typing projects. No more starting things that I don’t finish.

Keep going.

That was how the week was looking.

Alice In Chains - Nutshell

We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight, and yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to, no place to call home

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find, and yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can’t be my own, I’d feel better dead

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

no one to cry to, no place to call home

Cascara de nuez

Soy la cáscara, no hay nuez. Tan vacío, solo la cáscara.

Siempre actuando como algo que no soy. Ocultando mí verdadero ser.

Pocos seres pueden abrir una nuez y dejar el fruto intacto.

Me Abri ante muy pocas personas en la vida y ha pasado tanto desde la última vez que lo hice que me atemoriza hacerlo. Abrirme y descubrir que ya no hay nada dentro. Solo la cáscara vacía de una nuez inexistente

𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐍𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥