#male teacher crush

i still think about the way he grabbed my hand and guide it while teaching me how to play table tennis

when i asked him his age he said 31, but when i stalked him i found out he’s 35, who should i believe? lowkey why would he lie about his age tho

i hided my story from every person except him

I already made a post where I present myself if you want to check my account, but im 17, soon 18 😮 (I don’t want to grow up)

So I know it’s been a while since I posted here, but I needed to come back just this once to tell you something.

Yesterday was Carnival, which is kind of a celebration in France where we have to dress up, so it’s a bit like Halloween but you don’t necessarily have to be scary. Anyway, I decided to dress up as a sailor because, why not, it was cute and I didn’t really have any other ideas.

So I was at school, and we were all in the playground to celebrate a little. There was music, everyone was in costume, and at one point, there was a parade, teachers would parade and students could join if they wanted. So i look around searching for him… he’s wearing a sailor dress too 😮

First, we literally had the exact same outfit, and second, he was wearing a dress, which was just so funny. Later, I found out that it was actually a bet with the teachers, whoever wore the boldest costume would win something. And well, he was the one who won. I swear, his dress was so short, showing off all his legs (I don’t complain 😝) but honestly, it was just too funny. We even took a photo together because we were wearing the same outfit, and he was so happy and surprised that we matched !! I was super happy, and really, it was just hilarious. He didn’t keep it on all day though; he only wore it for the parade, and as soon as it was over, he changed.

So yeah that was so fun and kind of surprising, i teased him so much about the dress today when I Saw him but yeah it was good.

I’ll try to post more, I promise, i was just so stressed and busy with school, this is my last year 😐

Anyway love yall take care 🫶🏼

heheheheee he loves me so much 😛

too afraid to be percieved by him, i left both my friends and him in his classroom so i wouldn’t be seen vulnerable and crying (i was so fucking overwhelmed and i don’t know why i’m so afraid for him to see me cry)

oh I think I forgot to write about this, but that day Abelard and friends and I went to the play:

as I said before, I drove over to the theater, but Abelard walked

I’m not sure if we happened to get there at the same time or if he had been waiting outside for me, but we met up outside the theater and walked in together, where we found his wife waiting

for a couple minutes, it was just the three of us and we chatted for a bit

Abelard told his wife that he and I had been hanging out/talking before this and we went to that movie on campus together

and it might have just been me projecting because I’m so anxious around his wife since I’m not sure what she thinks of me & I’m scared she thinks I’m trying to get with her husband 💀 which I’m not

anyway. it totally might have just been my own projection, but I felt like after Abelard had said we were hanging out earlier, his wife had this…look on her face for a brief moment that was like… I’m not sure, suspicious? doubtful? concerned? and she looked at Abelard like that and then changed her expression. I don’t think he saw

again I probably made that up but I’m even more anxious around her now 😓 I promise I’m not trying to steal your husband we’re just really close !! ugh I feel so bad

why do i dream about him drugging me? there is SOMETHING wrong with me and i’m afraid of it

so me and him had no contact in last 8 months, and i also turned into an alcoholic and have been in a boarding school

✧⁠*✮𝑄𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦✮*✧⁠

What’s a cute interaction you’ve had with your tc?

I recently went to an event at my university intended for interested for students fresh out of highschool - your typical welcome to uni, these are your options type event. Aaand my tc did a lecture too, so I went there in the most romantic goth outfit I could put together. I didn’t expect it to be as crowdy as it was and there was only like a few seats in the back and one front row seat left. So of course, I took the front row seat.

The lecture itself was unnecessary for me, but damn was it refreshing to see him. I’ve really missed seeing him and hearing his voice so I really just said there and tried to memorise his voice better. You may judge me (fair), but at some point I noticed that I could just audio record the lecture. Did that, and kept listening. Later I walked up to him to ask him a question about the next seminar and the first thing he said was “Nice to see you again”, which is such a small casual thing but damnnnnnnn

You?🫵Think it’s nice?👁️ To see me?👈

I asked my question about this 2 sessions à 7 hours course and then he added that he’ll later look at the mail I wrote him (documents I had to send him for the seminar) and yeah…

Then my dumbass casually added that in March there’ll be another party (like the one I met him) and I left really quick after that

If he’s not gonna be there, I’ll go insane

And to anyone wondering - My stupid ass was too dumb to properly save the audio file, so I do not have the 30min audio of his voice, just my memory✨

i feel so much less dependent on him like i still like him but i wont ignore everyone else just to see him now #growth LOL

one part of the play asked for audience participation, and I hate doing that, so I didn’t

Abelard didn’t participate either

but then he started making fun of me for not participating 😭

and then after the show, me, him, and our friends were talking about the show

and Abelard again made fun of me for not participating 😭😭😭 so I playfully punched him on the arm a couple times lmao

we met up outside the theater and we waited for his wife and our friends to get there

eventually everyone showed up and we went to watch the play! I ended up sitting next to Abelard and his wife was on the other end of our friends 💀 I felt kinda bad about that

but also I was glad I wasn’t sitting in between him and his wife again 💀💀💀💀 cause I’ve done that at the two other plays we’ve seen together and it’s always been awkward hahaha

anyway the play was good!

his wife ended up not feeling well and went home after the first act, which was unfortunate

I noticed before she left that she was wearing her wedding ring again, which she and Abelard don’t normally do

before his wife left, Abelard like, sent her kisses as she walked away and she sent them back

it’s sweet but personally I hate pda so I felt awkward

especially since I was def in Abelard’s line of sight as his wife walked away because of the way we were all standing, and I was facing him so at first it kinda seemed like he was doing it to me, though I of course knew he was doing it to his wife lol

i want him to forget about his wife and have his way with me

after dinner, we had plans to meet with friends at the campus theater to see a play together

normally we’d walk, but I unfortunately have a back injury right now which makes me unable to walk long distances, so I was going to walk back to my car

he was walking with me and followed me as I began to walk towards my car (in the opposite direction of the theater)

I didn’t say anything and just assumed I’d drive us both over, which was not a problem

then he said, “I’m going to walk you back to your car and then walk over”

again I was surprised since I wasn’t expecting him to walk in the opposite direction just to walk me to my car, but it was very nice and I appreciated it :)

spent a lot of time with him yesterday :)

he texted me, I think Thursday, about a club event showing a movie on Friday and said he was thinking about going

I said we should since it was a movie I’d seen before and I like it, so we ended up going

it was fun lol though, yknow, typical chaos of a student run event hahaha so it started 30 minutes late

so we got to talk for a little while before the movie started and that was nice

✧⁠*✮𝑄𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦✮*✧⁠

What the hell should I do?

No kidding - I’m at a loss here. Soon, the next semester will start and I’ve been thinking about choosing a two days à 7 hours course with my tc (which will be fun) but I don’t know if I can hold out a whole semester without seeing him at least once a month. And there’s this other course where I’d see him once a week but that’s the course I did last semester and content-wise it’s kinda pointless to do it twice…

And I fear that it would be way too obvious to choose that course again. 👁️👁️

Anywayyy, if anyone has some thoughts/ideas, feel free to share, I’d highly appreciate it✨

ugh weekend again kill me

im actually so pissed he got annoyed at me because i asked him to explain something and he said ive went through this many times EVEN THOUGH I WASNT THERE because i had therapy and asked him after to go through it with me but he brushed it off but oh he can help other girls with the easiest shit 200 times fuck off