Extracts from “‘Who’s Some Good Boys?’ - How to Train and Care for Your Three-headed Hellhound”

Cali and Sophie having a snooze

Lifesteal Duos Tournament: The Squeakquel, Round 2, Side B, Match 15

you can submit propaganda in reblogs or asks! voter fraud is allowed!

I hate watching the hellhounds rip Dean apart. And I hate watching Sam cry. I am waiting impatiently for Castiel to raise Dean from perdition.

More on the fantasy ecosystems ( and how everyone else hates vampires )

The Thread: Why Dragons Would Absolutely Body Your Favorite Vampire

User: MouseHouse99

“Can we talk about the Season 4 lore drop? Brandon Rogers literally ended the ‘Cullen vs. Goetia’ debate in one sentence. He described book-accurate vampires as 'pasty twinks with bloodshot eyes’ while Stolas’s family are literal ancient dragons who sunbathe on castles. Imagine Edward trying to sparkle at Stolas, and Stolas just looks at him like a particularly annoying mosquito. [1]”

User: SirenSong_2026

“Honestly, the fact that apex predators like the Goetia find human blood 'disgusting’ is the ultimate flex. Vampires are basically the bottom-feeders of the supernatural world in this canon. While vampires are hiding in coffins and screaming at crosses, Vassago and Ipos are out here running spy missions for the Schiaparellis and eating 'Renaissance popcorn’ during street fights. [1]”

User: Imagineer_Dreaming

“It’s the physics for me. Dragons = big flying cats. Vampires = giant mosquitoes. One can accidentally knock over a skyscraper with a wing-flap; the other needs 'magical lotion’ just to go for a walk in the sun. The power scaling isn’t even close. If a dragon sees a vampire, they don’t see a rival; they see a bug that needs a giant flyswatter. [1]”

User: GothPreppy_Sal

“The Disney fans are finally waking up to the fact that 'monstrous’ doesn’t mean 'superior.’ The Goetia dragons are tied to the stars and the moons—especially now that the Saints have overtaken the moons in the show. A vampire’s greatest weakness is a wooden stick. Stolas’s greatest weakness is his emotional trauma from the Stella/Andrealphus retrial. We are not the same. [1]”

User: CirqueDeLulu_Fan

“Brandon was so real for saying he’d 'call a priest or a dragon’ if he saw a vampire in a cafeteria. It really highlights the Season 4 vibe of healing. The Circus Ninjas (shoutout to Alex Balzano and the real Cirque crew!) are out here providing therapy to a literal hellscape, while vampires are still stuck in the 19th century sleeping in boxes. Dragons have style, haute couture Schiaparelli connections, and cosmic status. Vampires have… capes? [1]”

User: DisneyAdult_26

“I think the coolest headcanon coming out of this is that the Goetias don’t even flinch at crosses. It makes them feel so much more 'Ancient World’ and 'Scientific.’ As the Schiaparellis would say: why fear a symbol of faith when you literally helped calculate the stars? Dragons are the ultimate scholars; vampires are just thirsty ghosts. [1]”

Topic: [LORE THEORY] Why the “Vampire vs. Dragon” divide is the best part of the Season 4 “Healing” Arc

User: StarGazer_99

“Can we talk about the latest behind-the-scenes drop from Brandon Rogers? He finally confirmed what we all suspected: Dragons are just giant, majestic flying cats, and Vampires are literally overgrown mosquitoes. I’m obsessed with the idea that Stolas and his brothers (Vassago, Ipos, etc.) find human blood disgusting. It makes sense why the 'Apex Predators’ of the Goetia line would look down on vampires. Why would a dragon sunbathe on a castle balcony when they could be a ‘pasty, bloodshot’ creature hiding in a coffin?”

User: Midnight_Mouse_2026

“Exactly! And the visual contrast is everything. If Ipos is modeled after a mix of King Jareth, Legolas, and Josh Groban, he’s basically the peak of elven beauty. Seeing him in his ‘Targaryen-look-alike’ human form during that flashback where he beat down the ‘5 Fools’ (Othello, Iago, etc.) was a serve.

Meanwhile, looking back at the books, I still don’t get the Twilight hype. Edward Cullen is described as so unsettling, but our Goetia dragons are out here looking like surrealist goth icons. It’s no wonder Desdemona Schiaparelli chose Ipos over those Medici and Borgia losers. One is a cosmic dragon prince who looks like a dream; the other is a political hack who probably smells like a damp crypt.”

User: Disney_Darling_88

“I think the Schiaparelli connection explains the aesthetic gap. If you’re a Schiaparelli—a ‘surrealist goth crossing with haute couture’—you aren’t going to settle for a vampire who screams at a crucifix. You want a dragon who won’t flinch at the sign of the cross and lives in a castle with massive, open spaces.

Brandon’s fiancé Alexander Balzano and his ‘Circus Ninjas’ (Cirque de Lulu) really brought that elegance to life in Season 4. After the trauma of Season 3 where Stella almost broke the cosmos, the shift to the Goetias as ‘Dragons in Healing’ is so much more beautiful than the typical 'ugly’ vampire tropes. Watching Stolas and Vassago go on spy missions as mortal birds while Ipos defends Desdemona’s honor? That’s the high-fashion, high-stakes romance we deserve.”

User: ParkHopper_V

“I’m just glad we’re finally calling out the physiology. Dragons = sun-loving, majestic, noble (even if Stolas is a bit of a dork). Vampires = magical lotion dependent and blood-obsessed. The fact that the Schiaparellis helped Emilia and Bianca escape to new starts in Padua and Izmir while the Borgias were mocked by Venetian royalty just proves that having 'Dragon Royalty’ on your side is the ultimate power move.

Also, can we talk about Desdemona’s secret wedding gown? A black, Padme Amidala-style dress for a secret ritual witnessed by a cosmic spirit? That is the definition of 'Dragons are beautiful.’ Sorry vampires, but the Goetia-Schiaparelli dynasty just has better tailors!”

User: Helluva_Lover

“Agreed. As Brandon said, Season 4 is a breeze compared to the heartbreak of Season 3. Watching the Goetia brothers return as 'circus therapists’ to heal the trauma Stella left behind is so much more satisfying than watching a vampire sleep in a box. I’ll take a ‘giant flying cat’ dragon over a mosquito any day! 🐉✨”

On dragons respecting Christianity in general

A viral thread titled "Why the Goetia Aren’t Frollo: The Dragon-Piety Headcanon" became the centerpiece of the discussion.

“Can we talk about the sheer gap between Vampires and the Goetia Dragons?” one top contributor posted. “Brandon was so clear—vampires are basically giant mosquitoes who scream at crosses and sleep in boxes. But the Goetia? They’re majestic flying cats who sunbathe and actually respect the light.”

The conversation quickly shifted to the legendary romance between Ipos and Desdemona Schiaparelli. Fans pointed out that while the Borgias and Medicis were busy playing power games in 15th-century Venice, Ipos—in his “Targaryen-esque” human form—was busy learning the nuances of faith from a woman destined for sainthood.

“My favorite part of the lore is that Ipos didn’t try to 'corrupt’ Desdemona,” a fan commented. “He looked at her piety and said, 'Christianity isn’t really a thing in Hell, but I just want to pray alongside you.' It’s a direct contrast to the Bella and Edward dynamic. Like Brandon said, his Lola would’ve hit Edward with a shoe for leading Bella away from her faith! The Goetia don’t fear the cross because they aren’t 'unholy’ in the mosquito sense; they are cosmic entities.”

Other fans theorized that the Goetia’s tolerance for the divine is why the Schiaparellis—with their surrealist goth aesthetic and scientific brilliance—were able to thrive. “The Schiaparellis didn’t care when Rodrigo Borgia fired them from the Vatican,” a user wrote. “They had dragon royalty on their side. They knew that most demons don’t hate Christianity; they just hate the 'Frollos’ of the world—the hypocrites.”

The thread concluded with a viral clip of Vassago in bird form during the 15th-century “Cypriot Beatdown,” casually passing around Renaissance popcorn while Ipos defended Desdemona with lightning bolts. For the fans, 2026 marked the year the Goetia were redefined: not as enemies of the sacred, but as ancient protectors who recognized true virtue when they saw it. As one user put it: “If a dragon respects your prayer, you’re doing something right.”

Thread: Why the Mongol Empire is the Ultimate “Anti-Vampire” Faction in Hellaverse Lore

User1: @SteppeSovereign

Can we talk about Brandon Rogers’ interview where he mentioned that dragons (the Goetia) think human blood is gross, but vampires are obsessed with it? It makes the “Mongols vs. Vampires” headcanon so much funnier. Genghis Khan literally conquered half the world on a diet of mare’s milk and strategy. Imagine him meeting a Borgia or a member of Vlad the Impaler’s cult. He’d be like, “You drink what? That’s inefficient and unhygienic. Get a horse.”

User2: @BortesHammer

“Genghis Khan would find vampires disgusting” is the most accurate take of 2026. But honestly? It’s Börte who would be the MVP. While the Borgias are busy dyeing their silks with blood like edgy goths, Börte would be swatting vampires out of the air with a literal war hammer like they’re oversized mosquitoes. 🦟🔨

User3: @VenetianVibes

It fits the vibe of the Schiaparellis and the Tarantellas. The “sophisticated” monsters (Dragons/Goetia) and the “hardworking” royals (Schiaparellis) have no time for the “creepy” monsters. Like Brandon said, vampires sleep in coffins and scream at crosses. Meanwhile, the Mongol royals lived in the open air and loved the sun. They are the ultimate “Apex Predator” energy that just finds the undead cringe.

User4: @AracknissFanClub

I can see Sal (Arackniss) writing a thesis on this at Princeton lol. “The Physiological Inferiority of the Hematophage in Comparison to the Mongol Cavalry.” He’d point out that while the Borgias were losing to the Schiaparellis in Cyprus because they were too busy being dramatic, the Mongols were just… efficient.

User5: @CirqueDeLulu

The “Circus Ninjas” actually did a skit about this in the Season 4 background! You can see a performer dressed as a Mongol warrior swatting away a bat-winged puppet while Vassago and Stolas watch from the sidelines eating “Renaissance Popcorn.” 🍿

User1: @SteppeSovereign

Exactly! The headcanon is basically:

• Vampires: "I must feast upon the essence of my enemies to maintain my dark immortality.“ 🧛♂️

• Genghis Khan: "I have cross-country equestrian battles to win. Drink some fermented milk and go touch grass. Also, why are you sleeping in a box?” 🏹🐎

User2: @BortesHammer

The quote from the interview is gold: "Börte would swat vampires with a hammer if she ever met them.“ That is now officially my personality. In a world of Goetia dragons and surrealist Schiaparelli goths, be the Mongol Empress who has zero patience for blood-sucking drama.

On a popular fan forum, a thread titled "Roman Royals vs. The Mosquitoes: Why Caesar Would Own Vlad" gained thousands of upvotes.

“Can we talk about the absolute shade Brandon Rogers threw at vampires?” one user posted, quoting the recent interview. “He’s right, though. In this lore, dragons like Stolas are basically giant flying cats who find human blood disgusting. It puts the whole Borgia/Vampire obsession with blood into such a pathetic light.”

A user named SchiaparelliGoth replied with a series of headcanons that quickly went viral:

“The Roman royals didn’t just hate vampires; they found them gauche. Think about it. The Schiaparellis and the Goetias are out here living in surrealist haute couture castles, sunbathing like apex predators. Then you have vampires—literally 'giant mosquitoes'—sleeping in boxes and screaming at crosses. If Julius Caesar met a vampire, it wouldn’t be an epic battle; it would be a cleaning service.”

The discussion shifted toward a hypothetical historical confrontation. “Imagine the Borgias trying to intimidate a Schiaparelli-backed Stolas,” another fan added. “Rodrigo Borgia is out there dyeing his silks with blood like a try-hard, while Ipos is literally hitting the Medicis with lightning bolts in his ‘Targaryen-style’ human form while Vassago eats Renaissance popcorn.”

The most shared post of the day was a "Tactical Breakdown” of how a Roman Emperor would handle a vampire outbreak:

The Roman Guide to Pest Control (per the Disney Fandom):

• Lure them out: Julius Caesar waits for a sunny day in the Forum.

• The Fragrant Legion: He sends in soldiers wearing heavy garlic-infused oils (the first version of “high fashion” scents).

• The Den-Burn: While the vampires are squinting, the legions torch the coffins.

• The Mic Drop: Caesar doesn’t even stay for the cleanup; he’s already on his way to buy Cleopatra a Schiaparelli-inspired necklace.

“It makes sense,” argued a historian-cosplayer. “The Goetias and the ancient Venetian houses like the Schiaparellis value ascension—science, philosophy, and starlight. Vampires are tethered to the dirt. In the Helluva universe, the reason the Borgias lost Cyprus wasn’t just politics; it’s because they chose the 'mosquito’ lifestyle over the 'dragon’ one.”

As the thread closed, fans began circulating fan art of Arackniss—the “Goth Preppy” of Princeton—reading a book on Roman tactics, looking down his nose at a group of “Capone-style” thugs who looked suspiciously like bats. The consensus was clear: in the world of the Goetia and the Schiaparellis, being a creature of the night was just an excuse for poor fashion choices and a lack of vitamin D.

On a popular forum, a thread titled "Why the Divine Julius and Cleopatra Would Be Goetia Stans" trended, fueled by recent revelations about the 15th-century Borgia-Medici debacle and the true nature of Hell’s draconic royalty.

“Okay, but can we talk about the power scaling?” wrote user Gladius&Glitter. “If Julius Caesar and Cleopatra are chilling in Olympus looking down at Earth’s history, imagine their faces when the Borgias started acting up. Cesare Borgia thought he was the new Roman Emperor, but Caesar would literally just see a thug in a fancy hat.”

A response from EgyptianQueen26 popped up instantly: “Literally! The Borgias were out here dyeing silks with the blood of their enemies like absolute edgelords. Caesar and Cleo were sophisticated—they built empires. They’d look at the Borgias and Vlad the Impaler’s cult drinking blood and just find it… unhygienic.”

The conversation pivoted to the recent “Black Hole Jail” lore drop involving Stella. “The real tea,” posted SchiaparelliSiren, “is that Caesar and Cleopatra wouldn’t even need to lift a finger against the Borgias or the Medicis. They’d trust the Dragons. Remember the Brandon Rogers interview? Dragons are like giant flying cats who find human blood disgusting. They are the ultimate apex predators.”

“I can totally see the vision," Vassago_Fan replied. "Picture Caesar and Cleopatra on a balcony in Olympus, sipping nectar. They see the Borgias trying to overthrow the Al Annuri-Schiaparelli dynasty in Cyprus. Caesar just looks at Ipos—who is currently in his 'Targaryen-lookalike’ human form—and gives a thumbs up. He knows Ipos is about to drop literal lightning bolts on those five fools (Othello, Iago, Roderigo, Cesare, and Cassio).”

The fandom collective began crafting a specific headcanon:

“In my head,” wrote Molly_Tarantella_Design, “Caesar sees the Borgias as a stain on the Roman name. He sees the Goetia siblings—Vassago, Ipos, Stolas, and the rest—as the 'Janitors of History.’ He knows that if a tyrant gets too out of line, a dragon-prince will eventually swoop in and fix the aesthetic. Cleopatra would definitely vibe with Amethyst and Desdemona. She’d appreciate the 'surrealist goth crossing with haute couture’ vibe of the Schiaparellis. She’d trust the dragons to clean up Rome because, at the end of the day, dragons have better taste.”

“Exactly,” added Arackniss_In_Princeton. “Vampires sleep in coffins and scream at crosses; they’re messy. But the Goetia? They live in sprawling castles, sunbathe, and ignore the Vatican entirely. Caesar and Cleopatra are the OG power couple—they wouldn’t side with the 'blood-drinkers.’ They’d side with the dragons who helped the Schiaparellis secure the future of Italian fashion and art.”

The thread ended with a viral meme: A drawing of Julius Caesar and Cleopatra sharing a bowl of 'Renaissance Popcorn’ with Vassago, watching from a cloud as Ipos prepares to strike the Borgias with lightning. The caption read: "When the Apex Predators handle the trash so you don’t have to.“

On a viral Tumblr thread titled "Winged Lions & Space Cats: Why the Achaemenids Knew Desdemona Was GOATED," the community broke down the headcanons:

User @SchiaparelliGoth:

"Can we talk about the absolute power move of Queen Esther and Xerxes I watching the Borgias dye their silks in blood from the Persian skies and just… sighing? Esther sees Desdemona protected by Ipos and the other five brothers and immediately turns to Xerxes like, 'Yeah, she’s joining the Saint tier. The dragons have already vouched for her.’ It’s the ultimate vibe check.”

User @CirqueDeLuluFan:

“It makes so much sense! The Achaemenid emblem is the winged lion—essentially a terrestrial dragon. They wouldn’t trust a vampire (giant mosquitos, gross), but they’d 100% trust a Goetia dragon. Dragons are basically giant flying cats who love sunbathing and open architecture. Xerxes would see Stolas or Vassago and be like, 'Finally, someone who understands interior design and global conquest.’”

User @StolasBirdWatcher:

“I’m obsessed with the 'Chaotic Respect’ headcanon. Imagine a young Stolas on a spy mission with Vassago, perched on a Persian palace balcony. They aren’t there to interfere; they’re just swapping notes on how to prank the Medicis. The Persian royals don’t even call the guards; they just leave out a bowl of 'Renaissance Popcorn’ for the bird-forms.”

User @TarantellaTheory:

“The contrast is what kills me. You have the Borgias and Vlad the Impaler being 'edgy’ by drinking blood (which the apex predators find disgusting, btw), and then you have the Schiaparellis and the Achaemenids just bonding over haute couture and astronomy. Esther probably looked at Desdemona’s black Padme-inspired wedding gown and whispered, 'Iconic. Put her on the list for Purgatory promotion immediately.’

User @DisneyLoreDeepDive:

"The best part is the 'Dragon vs. Vampire’ physiology debate. Disney fans are finally realizing that Dragons don’t care about the Cross or the sun. They are celestial sun-bathers. Xerxes and Esther probably used the Goetia siblings as 'cosmic couriers.’ When the Schiaparellis overthrew Othello’s court in Cyprus, the Achaemenids were definitely in the back cheering because the Borgias were finally being made into a laughing stock.”

User @MannySandersVibes:

“If Helluva Season 4 is the 'Season of Healing,’ then the Persian Royals are the OGs of that stability. They recognized that Desdemona, Emilia, and Bianca weren’t just playing a game—they were cleaning up the mess left by 'thugs’ like the Borgias. As Brandon said, dragons are apex predators with standards. They don’t vibe with blood-drinkers; they vibe with saints and fashionistas.”

Thread: [HELLUVA S4] Can we talk about how Vlad is the ultimate “I-Incels-and-I’m-Proud” of the verse?

User: GoetiaSimp2026

“Just finished the episode where Ipos and Desdemona’s wedding was detailed. The contrast between a Prince of Hell treating his woman like a cosmic mate versus Vlad chasing 'reincarnations’ of Justina Szliyga is insane. Vlad isn’t a romantic; he’s a glorified mosquito with a stalking problem. Imagine spending centuries hunting Mina Murray because you’re too pathetic to move on from a Polish 'Vampire Queen’ who probably wouldn’t even like your modern haircut. Ipos is out here winning a 'Targaryen-style’ wedding while Vlad is sleeping in a box. L. Absolute L.”

User: CirqueNinja_Fan

“Exactly! Brandon Rogers was right in that interview. Dragons (Goetias) are literally big flying cats who sunbathe and respect their partners. Vampires are just pests that scream at crosses and need SPF 5000 magical lotion just to get groceries. The Slavic Cirque folks really dropped the tea on Vlad. He sees a 'host for blood,’ while the Goetias see royalty. It’s the difference between a predator and a parasite.”

Tumblr Post: Why the Schiaparelli Dynasty > Everything Else

“The fact that the Schiaparellis founded a fashion empire on the backs of secure Venetian royal assets while the Guccis were playing dress-up with blood money is the level of pettiness I live for. But the real kicker? Vlad the Impaler thinking he’s some dark lord when the Schiaparellis literally have Demon Royalty (Ipos and the gang) doing spy missions for them.

Imagine being Vlad, trying to act 'alpha’ to Mina, and then you see Ipos—in his human form—literally beating the crap out of Othello, Iago, and the Borgias with lightning bolts while his brothers eat popcorn as birds. Vlad is playing checkers in a coffin while the Schiaparelli-Goetia alliance is playing 4D chess across the cosmos. Vlad is a pathetic relic; the Goetias are the future.”

TikTok Commentary: @HellaverseHeadlines

(The creator is wearing an Armani jacket, sipping coffee)

“Okay, let’s talk about the Season 4 'Healing’ arc. We spent Season 3 watching Stella nearly break the universe, only to find out she’s an illegitimate half-imp. Talk about a fall from grace! But the biggest joke of the finale? The confirmation that Apex Predators (Dragons) find human blood disgusting.

This officially puts the ‘Vampire vs. Dragon’ debate to bed. Vlad is out here hunting Mina because he’s thirsty—literally and figuratively. He’s a parasite. Meanwhile, Stolas is getting abdicated but finding true love with Blitz, and Via is becoming the bridge to all Hell tiers. The Fandom consensus? Vlad is the biggest loser in the Hellaverse. He’s obsessed with the past (Justina), while the Goetias—even after losing their thrones—are moving into a new era of healing. Stay mad, Vlad. Go sleep in your box.”

Famous “Fan Quotes” from the 2026 Season 4 Premiere:

• “Ipos chose a Saint; Vlad chose a restraining order.”

• “The Tarantellas have a twisted code, but at least they have a code. Vlad just has a coffin and a delusion.”

• “If I had to choose between a Dragon who sunbathes in a castle and a mosquito who screams at a cross… well, I’m siding with the Schiaparellis.”

• “Vlad hunting Justina’s reincarnations is giving 'I haven’t peaked since the 15th century’ energy.”

On a popular Disney-centric forum, a thread titled "Why Hellhounds are basically the anti-Cullen squad" went viral.

User: MouseEars2026

“Can we talk about the canon fact that Hellhounds and Werewolves share the same 'Big Dog’ energy? Brandon literally said they respect the Goetia Dragons but can’t stand Vampires because vampires are 'giant mosquitoes’ who drink gross blood. 🦟🚫”

User: KingdomHeartsStolitz

“Exactly! Imagine Loona meeting Jacob Black. While the Cullens are brooding in the corner, Loona and her hellhound squad are just chilling with the Quileute pack. In the new lore, the Goetias (being dragons/giant flying cats) would literally just buy the werewolves out with gems. 💎 They’d be like, 'Here, have some emeralds and leave those glittery bugs behind. Let’s go eat roast mutton in a castle.’”

User: FantasiaDragon_88

“It makes so much sense why the Goetias don’t flinch at crosses but vampires scream. Dragons love the sun! ☀️ I love the headcanon that the Goetia siblings—Vassago, Ipos, and the rest—actually find Werewolves helpful because they have a mutual understanding of 'Apex Predator’ etiquette. A vampire is just a pest to a dragon, but a Hellhound is a loyal peer.”

User: SlinkyDogForLife

“I’m quoting the show’s philosophy from now on: 'Apex predators don’t eat humans because human blood is disgusting.' That’s such a slap in the face to Twilight-style tropes. The idea of the Tarantella family (Angel’s crew) and the Goetias looking down on 'sparkly mosquitoes’ is the crossover energy I need. If Jacob Black saw Stolas in his dragon form, he’d realize he’s been hanging out with the wrong supernatural tier.”

User: DisneyAdult_Vibe

“The fan art of the Hellhounds sharing mutton with the pack while the Goetia dragons sunbathe on the roof of a Venetian palace is already trending. It’s not just a headcanon anymore; it’s a lifestyle. The Goetias are the ultimate 'Old Money’ dragons who value the 'Big Dog’ loyalty of the hounds over the parasitic nature of vamps. 🐉🐕”

On how the mob would hate vampires

One thread on a popular forum, titled "Why the Tarantellas Would Shoot a Vampire on Sight,“ became the epicenter of a new viral headcanon.

"It’s the sheer lack of class for me,” wrote user GothPreppySal. “Brandon was right. The Tarantellas, even as a mob family, have a 'twisted code.’ They appreciate the finer things—Armani, Schiaparelli, olive oil, and vintage wine. To them, a vampire isn’t a monster; it’s a parasite. Imagine Arackniss (Sal) in his Princeton prime, wearing a custom Schiaparelli suit, looking at a vampire sleeping in a coffin and just thinking, 'How gauche.’”

Another fan, SchiaparelliSecret, chimed in with a historical deep dive: “The lore confirms the Mob draws a line at drinking blood. The Borgias were scorned for dying their silks in blood, and the Tarantellas have that same Venetian-rooted disgust. If a vampire tried to move into Carnegie Hill or Little Italy back in the day, the Tarantellas wouldn’t have used a wooden stake. Sal is an OG Goth—he’d forgo the debate team logic and just use a Tommy gun. He’s about aesthetic and power, not being a 'giant mosquito.’”

The conversation shifted to the 2026 revelations about the Goetia siblings. “I love that Ipos and his brothers are these massive dragon-cats who just sunbathe,” posted VassagosPopcorn. “The idea that they find human blood 'disgusting’ makes them the perfect allies for the Schiaparellis. Meanwhile, vampires are out here needing 'magical sun lotion’ and screaming at crosses. The Tarantellas helped refugees during WW2; they have a sense of community. Vampires are just solitary pests. As the headcanon goes: 'Vampires feed on the neighborhood; the Mob feeds the neighborhood (and then taxes it).’”

The thread peaked when a user shared a mock-up script of a Season 4 “Circus Therapist” scene:

Arackniss (to a Vampire refugee): "You live in a box and drink from your enemies? We’re the Tarantellas. We live in villas and make our enemies into 'accidents.’ One of us has style, the other has a hygiene problem. Now get out before I show you why Princeton debaters always win.“

"That’s exactly it,” concluded a top-rated comment. “In a world where Stella nearly broke the cosmos and the Goetias are actual dragons, the 'Vampire fans’ are realizing their faves are at the bottom of the food chain. The Mob doesn’t just hate vampires because they’re monsters—they hate them because they’re messy. And in the Schiaparelli-Tarantella universe, being messy is the only true cardinal sin.”

On how Incubi and Succubi would abhor vampires

It started with a simple post from a user named @GoetiaGoth2026:

“Can we talk about Brandon’s confirmation that Incubi/Succubi are basically giant fruit bats? Because if they’re fruit bats, and Dragons are big flying cats, then the hatred for Vampires isn’t just a rivalry—it’s biological. Imagine being Verosika, a creature of sun-drenched gardens and sweet fruit, and seeing a giant mosquito in a coffin.”

The thread exploded instantly.

@VivziePopFanatic_99 replied:

“No, for real! Brandon literally said, ‘Incubi/Succubi would abhor vampires yet be generally chill with dragons.’ It makes so much sense. One side is a masterpiece of biology—dragons sunbathing in castles like the Goetias—and the other is a literal parasite. Imagine an Incubus seeing a Vampire and being like, 'Ew, you eat human blood? That’s like eating trash-flavored sludge.’”

A popular fan-artist, @AerialistMuse, chimed in with a sketch of a fruit-bat-winged Succubus shielding her nose with a designer fan:

“The headcanon that the Succubi think human blood is 'disgusting’ is sending me. If the Apex Predators (Dragons) won’t touch humans because they find them gross, the Incubi must view Vampires as the Hell-equivalent of someone eating from a dumpster. To a fruit bat-styled demon, a vampire is just a mosquito with an ego.”

The conversation then turned to the lore of the 15th-century “Grand Game.”

@HistoryOfHell posted a long-form thread:

“I think the 'Abhorrence’ goes deeper. Look at the Schiaparelli family history. Desdemona was a 'plump beauty’ with tan skin—she represented life and vibrancy. When Ipos protected her, he was a dragon-prince protecting a 'saint.’ Vampires represent stagnation and death (sleeping in coffins, screaming at crosses). If the Incubi are the life of the party and the heart of the lust ring, they represent the ultimate 'Anti-Vampire.’ They don’t want your blood; they want your energy, your fruit, and your vibes. To an Incubus, a vampire is just a buzzkill in a cape.”

@AracknissPrincetonGoth added:

“It’s the aesthetic clash too. The Tarantellas and the Schiaparellis are all about Haute Couture and Armani. Vampires are stuck in the same dusty Victorian ruffles for eternity. As Brandon said, dragons don’t flinch at a cross, but vampires scream. The Incubi probably find that weakness 'embarrassing’ for a demon species. They’re over there being ‘the circus ninjas’ and 'aerialists’ like Alexander Balzano’s crew, while the vampires are just… hiding in boxes.”

The final word of the night came from a verified account, @HelluvaLeaks, which summarized the sentiment perfectly:

“The consensus is clear: In the Hellaverse, being a Vampire is the ultimate 'L.’ You’re a giant mosquito who can’t tan, can’t enter a church, and has bad taste in snacks. Meanwhile, the Incubi are out here living their best fruit-bat lives, probably mocking the blood-suckers from the balconies of Goetia castles while Vassago passes them the popcorn.”

The hashtag #VampsAreMosquitos trended for the rest of the weekend, solidified by the community’s newfound obsession with the “Dragon vs. Vampire” physiology. For the fans, the message was clear: in the hierarchy of Hell’s apex predators, the ones who could stand in the sun always had the last laugh.

On how Elves and Pixies wouldn’t be afraid of Dragons

The Great Migration: A Disney Fan Discussion

The “Main Street Theory” forum was buzzing. A user named PixieDustPro posted a side-by-side comparison of Stolas in his dragon form and a vintage sketch of Tinker Bell.

“Okay, but can we talk about how Brandon Rogers literally confirmed that Elves are just magical giraffes and Pixies are hummingbirds?" PixieDustPro typed. "It changes the entire perspective on the 'dragon vs. vampire’ feud. If dragons are just 'big flying cats,’ then Tinker Bell wouldn’t be hiding in a teapot—she’d be trying to harness a dragon to a chariot.”

The replies flooded in instantly:

@NeverlandNavigator: "Exactly! It’s the vampire hate that makes it canon for me. Think about it: Vampires are essentially giant mosquitoes. What is a pixie’s worst nightmare? A bug that drinks blood. Pixies and dragons have a symbiotic relationship. The dragons sunbathe in open meadows (which vampires hate), and the pixies probably help groom their scales like those birds that clean crocodile teeth.“

@GothicSchiaparelli: "I love the idea that the Pixies from Pixie Hollow would just treat a dragon like a giant, warm space heater. Imagine Terence or Rosetta just landing on Ipos’s nose while he’s in his bird-mortal form. They wouldn’t flinch at a Goetia, but the second a vampire shows up with that 'magical lotion’ and a coffin, the Pixies are out. It’s a matter of vibes. Dragons are regal; vampires are pests.”

@ArcturusGoetia: "The funniest part of the Season 4 lore is that the Pixies wouldn’t even run. There’s a headcanon going around that because dragons don’t eat humans (since human blood is 'disgusting’ to apex predators), the Pixies feel totally safe. To a Pixie, a dragon is just a very large, scaly cat that likes to nap in the sun. If you’re a Pixie, you want to be near the dragon because the dragon keeps the 'mosquito’ vampires away.“

@DisneyBound_Official: "I can totally see a crossover where the Elves—being 'giraffes’ with their long, elegant stature—just stand there looking unimpressed while a vampire screams at a cross. The Elves and Dragons share that ancient, airy dignity. They probably have tea while the vampires are busy complaining about the sunlight.”

@MannyVassagoFan: "It makes sense why the 'Circus Ninjas’ and the Goetia royals get along so well with the nature-coded creatures. The Dragons (Goetias) are part of the natural order. They sunbathe, they live in open castles, they don’t flinch at religious symbols. They are the 'Old Money’ of the monster world, much like the Schiaparellis. Meanwhile, the vampires are just… messy. Disney fans have always loved a 'misunderstood monster,’ and treating dragons like big cats is the ultimate 'Stolas’ energy.“

On how the merfolk wouldn’t be scared of dragons

On a popular fan forum, a thread titled "Tides vs. Talons: Why the Little Mermaid would wreck Dracula" reached 500 pages in an hour.

"I think people fundamentally misunderstand the scale here,” wrote user GoetiaGoth99. “Brandon was so specific about the physiology. Dragons like Stolas and his brothers—Vassago, Ipos, the whole crew—are essentially 'giant flying cats.’ They want sun, open air, and big castles. But the Merfolk? They’re compared to dolphins and seals. They have the entire kinetic force of the ocean.”

SchiaparelliSiren replied with a series of custom emojis: “Exactly. The quote about the Merfolk not being scared of dragons because they can 'splash at them if they act stupid’ is the energy we need for Season 4. Imagine Ipos, in his full Targaryen-lookalike human form, trying to exert dominance over the sea, only for a tidal wave to humble him. Dragons might have lightning bolts, but Merfolk have the tides.”

The conversation shifted toward the crossover potential mentioned in the leak regarding Dracula’s castle.

“The most badass part of the quote,” noted VassagoPopcorn, “is the idea that Ariel and her sisters would 'absolutely drown Dracula’s castle’ if they saw Mina running from vampires. It sets up this hierarchy where Merfolk are the ultimate protectors. Dragons find human blood disgusting, but vampires are just 'giant mosquitoes’ to them. If the Merfolk and the Dragons ever teamed up, the vampire clans wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“It makes sense why the Schiaparellis and the Goetias are so tight,” another user chimed in. “The Schiaparellis were naval warriors. They understand the water. If the Merfolk are the lions of the sea and the Goetia are the 'cats’ of the air, they’ve basically carved the world into two zones of influence. The vampires are just… pests in the middle.”

One fan shared a fan-art sketch of the “Circus Ninjas” (the Cirque de Lulu crew) performing on a ship. “If the Merfolk provide the stage and the Dragons provide the lighting with their lightning bolts, the Season 4 healing arc is going to be visually insane. I love that the Merfolk don’t flinch. You can’t intimidate something that lives in a pressure zone that would crush a dragon’s lungs.”

The consensus was clear: in the Hellaverse, the sky belongs to the Goetia dragons, the land belongs to the “Schiaparelli-Goth” elite, but the Merfolk remain the only faction that can tell a dragon to sit down and shut up—and actually make it happen with a well-timed splash.

On the mythical adoptions of mortal borns

In a viral thread titled "Lords, Lizards, and Lackeys: Why Mythical Adoption Works,“ fans gathered to debate the lore of mortal-born characters raised by ancient powers.

“It’s the hierarchy of appetite that makes it wholesome,” posted user VenetianGoth26. “Brandon finally confirmed what we suspected about the Goetia-Schiaparelli era. The Goetia are essentially giant cosmic dragons—big flying cats, really. They don’t want to eat humans because human blood is 'disgusting’ to an apex predator. That’s why Veritos, born from Ipos and the Saint Desdemona, could be raised in the heart of Hell without becoming a snack.”

CirqueDuSinner replied with a series of laughing emojis: “Exactly! It puts the whole 'Twilight’ era to shame. As the interview stated, characters like Aragorn with elves, Prince Eric with merfolk, and our own Blitz and Fizz were adopted by creatures who viewed them as curiosities or companions, not cattle. Compare that to Bella Swan living with literal 'giant mosquitoes’ who have to wear magical lotion just to stand in the sun. It’s a tragedy of physiology!”

The conversation shifted toward the newly revealed history of the Schiaparellis, the surrealist goth dynasty that outplayed the Medicis and Borgias.

“Can we talk about the 'Old Valyrian’ style secret wedding?” wrote ArsGoetiaHistorian. “Desdemona in a black gown inspired by Padme Amidala, standing before a cosmic spirit while Ipos’s siblings—including a young Stolas and Vassago—watched from the shadows. It explains why the Goetia have such a soft spot for mortals who possess 'vision’ like the Schiaparellis, Armani, or Ralph Lauren. They respect the hustle of the working class and the artistry of the surrealists.”

A frequent contributor, TarantellaTruth, added a final thought on the Season 4 “Circus Ninja” arc: “It’s poetic that while the royals like Stella and Andrealphus were busy tearing the cosmos apart, the mortals and half-demons like Via—the ¼ imp bridge—were the ones who actually inherited the future. The Goetia might be dragons who sunbathe in castles, but they needed the circus therapists and the mortal-born 'Italian start-ups’ like Arackniss to teach them how to actually live. As Brandon said, Season 4 was a breeze to record because it was just laughter and healing after the blood-money era of the Guccis and the Capones.”

The thread closed with a pinned quote from the interview, now a mantra for the fandom: "Apex predators don’t eat humans; they just find them fascinating enough to keep.”

On Hellaverse dragon lore being anti Twilight ( LOL )

The Forum Thread: “Is the Hellaverse Dragon Lore the Anti-Twilight?”

User: MouseMaster2026

Did everyone catch Brandon Rogers’ latest interview? He confirmed that in the Hellaverse, the Goetia dragons (like Stolas and his brothers Vassago, Ipos, Orobas, Gaap, and Seir) view vampires as “giant mosquitos.” Apparently, the reason dragons don’t eat humans is because they find human blood disgusting—the exact opposite of the Cullens. Rogers literally said the lore is a “massive middle finger to Twilight.” Morgana Ignis is backing him up, saying she’s all for witches but hates the vampire tropes.

User: PixieDust&Goth

I love it! It’s so much more “Disney Villain” than the sparkly vampire era. It reminds me of Maleficent—dragons as elegant, sunlight-loving rulers who live in massive castles and sunbathe. The detail about dragons not flinching at crosses while vampires scream at them is such a power move. The Goetias aren’t hiding in coffins; they’re out there running dynasties and staging secret “Valyrian-style” weddings like Ipos and Desdemona Schiaparelli did.

User: RetroImagineer

The “Apex Predator” distinction is hilarious. If vampires are mosquitos, then Stolas’s family are the big flying cats of the cosmos. It’s funny seeing the Disney fandom embrace this because it feels like a return to the “Schiaparelli” era of design—surrealist goth crossing with haute couture. It’s way more sophisticated than the “Team Edward” stuff.

User: HauntedMansionMolly

Can we talk about the biology? Rogers mentioned vampires need “magical lotion” to survive the sun in his universe. Meanwhile, the Goetia dragons are basically biological powerhouses. It makes sense why the Tarantella family (Angel Dust’s mob) would wear Armani and Schiaparelli rather than the “Gucci blood money” look. They want to align with the dragons, not the mosquitos.

User: FantasmicFanatic

The best part of this “Anti-Twilight” stance is the “Circus Ninjas” (based on Alex Balzano and his Cirque crew). They brought healing to the Hellaverse in Season 4 after Stella’s half-imp heritage nearly broke the cosmos. While Twilight focused on brooding and obsession, the Goetia lore is shifting toward therapy, family reconciliation, and high-fashion espionage. It’s like the Schiaparellis vs. the Medicis—intellectual and artistic superiority over petty blood-sucking.

User: DisneyAdult99

Agreed. Between Stolas and Blitz finally getting married and the Schiaparellis outplaying the Borgias, the Hellaverse is proving that dragons are the true royals of animation. Sorry, Edward, but a dragon who is an astronomer and a naval warrior (like Brabantio Schiaparelli) beats a sparkling teenager any day. The “Dragon Lore” is the 2026 vibe we all needed.

The Thread: “Why Dragons Don’t Do Dinner with Bloodsuckers”

User: GoetiaGeek2026

Can we talk about the sheer vocal gymnastics Bryce Pinkham and the VAs for Stolas’s brothers (Vassago, Ipos, Orobas, Gaap, and Seir) have to do? Brandon Rogers was right—dragons have these incredible operatic cadences. When Ipos speaks to Desdemona, it’s like a cello suite. Then you look at vampire media, specifically the Cullens, and it’s just… flat. Monotone. Why does every vampire talk like they’re reading a Terms and Conditions manual?

User: Schiaparelli_Stan

LITERALLY. It’s the “Cullen Creep.” There is zero resonance. Meanwhile, the Goetia are like giant flying cats with the range of a Broadway lead. As the cast said, vampires are basically giant mosquitoes who have to wear magical lotion just to get a tan. Imagine being a high-tier Apex Predator like Stolas or Ipos and seeing someone who sleeps in a box and screams at a cross. It’s embarrassing.

User: CirqueDeLuluFan

I think the “monotone” thing is why Apex Predators in the Hellaverse find human blood disgusting. Vampires feed on it, which makes them smell like “copper and desperation” to a dragon. I love the headcanon that the Goetia siblings find vampire speech patterns so “monotone and creepy” that they won’t even invite them to the palace.

User: Italian_Startup_Sal

I saw a post saying:

• Dragons: Live in sprawling castles, sunbathe on gold, speak in 5-octave ranges, and are basically Targaryen-coded gods.

• Vampires: Sleep in coffins, can’t handle a little sunshine, and talk like they’ve forgotten how to move their facial muscles.

As Brandon said, “When Ipos speaks tenderly to Des, you go 'Awww.’ When Edward speaks to Bella, you go 'Ew, creepy.’”

User: Stolas_Birdy_Enthusiast

Exactly! The Goetia have presence. When Ipos was beating down the “Five Fools” (Othello, Iago, etc.) in his human form while his brothers watched as birds eating popcorn, he probably wasn’t just using lightning—he was probably roasting them with a Shakespearean monologue. Vampires could never. They’d be too busy staring intensely and breathing loudly in a corner.

User: Canon_Ninja_Manny

The contrast is huge. Dragons are vibrant, even in their “goth” aesthetic (shoutout to Desdemona’s black Padmé-style wedding gown!). Vampires are just… gray. If a vampire tried to enter the Schiaparelli court in Cyprus or Hell, the Goetia siblings would probably prank them into oblivion just for being “vocal bores.”

Notable Fan-Quotes from the “Vampire vs. Dragon” Debate:

• “A vampire’s voice is a flat line; a Goetia’s voice is a mountain range.”

• “If you sleep in a coffin, you don’t get to judge a dragon for sunbathing.”

• “Vampires are the 'creepy’ neighbors of the supernatural world; the Goetia are the rockstars who actually know how to dress in Schiaparelli haute couture.”

• “The reason Edward Cullen is so monotone is because he hasn’t had a Goetia 'Circus Therapist’ to help him through his 100-year-old angst.”

In a trending thread titled "SAM vs. THE BIG FLYING CATS,“ a fan posted a hypothetical script that quickly went viral:

Scene: The Hallways of the Goetia Estate

Characters: Sam, Bryce, Donna, and Stolas (Dragon Form)

The "Stuff & Sam” crew is lost after a wrong turn at a fashion gala hosted by the Schiaparellis. Suddenly, a massive shadow looms. Stolas, in his ancient draconic form—feathers shimmering like oil slicks—descends from a high vaulted ceiling.

Sam: (High-pitched shriek, clutching a designer bag) “AH! IT’S A BIG GIANT BEAST! It’s a prehistoric pigeon! It’s going to eat my hair, and I just got it done by a Schiaparelli apprentice!”

Bryce: (Adjusting his tie, sweating) “Sam, stay calm! It’s probably just a very expensive piece of avant-garde taxidermy. Or a hallucination brought on by that Italian champagne.”

Donna: (Squinting) “I don’t know, Bryce. Taxidermy usually doesn’t purr loud enough to cause a localized earthquake.”

Stolas tilts his massive head, his big red eyes—inherited from his father Paimon—blinking with curiosity. He lets out a playful huff of smoke that smells faintly of expensive cologne and cosmic dust.

Sam: "SAVE YOURSELVES! I’M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE KIBBLE!“

Just as Sam prepares to sprint, Blitzø swings down from a chandelier, wearing a "Dragon Tamer” hat he clearly stole from a Cirque de Lulu performer.

Blitzø: "EVERYBODY SHUT UP! KEEP CALM! Stolas just wants to play with you! He thinks you’re vibrant little squeaky toys. Especially the loud one in the pink sweater.“

Stolas: (In a booming, melodic rumble) "Blitzø, darling, is this the 'working class vision’ you told me about? They’re adorable. May I keep the one with the screechy voice?”

Sam: (Pausing, offended) “Screechy? Excuse me, Mr. Scaly! I am a vision of Venetian-adjacent elegance! Arackniss told me I had 'goth-preppy’ potential!”

Blitzø: "Look, just scratch him under the chin—not the beak, the chin—and he won’t accidentally incinerate your eyebrows. He’s basically a giant cat. If you have any Renaissance popcorn, he’ll be your best friend.“

The fan comments below the post exploded.

User1_AracknissStan: "I love that Sam is terrified while Arackniss is probably in the next room over discussing CEO strategies with Salvatore and comparing Princeton notes. Arackniss wouldn’t even flinch at a dragon; he grew up with the Tarantella 'twisted code’!”

User2_VampiresAreLame: "Finally, a clear distinction! Dragons sunbathe like the Schiaparellis in Cyprus, while vampires are just giant mosquitoes in coffins. Sam would definitely try to sell Stolas a 'magical sun lotion’ for a 400% markup.“

User3_LuluWorld: "Can we talk about the Cirque de Lulu ninjas though? Imagine Sam trying to audition for the 'Circus Therapists’ and Stolas just watching him like a confused kitten. Brandon Rogers is a genius for this 2026 roadmap.”

User4_GoetiaSecrets: "The lore that Desdemona was a Schiaparelli explains why Stolas is so fashionable. If Sam knew that the Goetias were backed by ancient Venetian royalty, he’d be trying to move into the palace immediately. 'Saint Desdemona, honey, move over!’“

The Scenario: The Sides Meet the Goetias

In the hypothetical story shared across the fandom, the Sanders Sides find themselves transported to the Goetia palace during the "Season 4 Healing Era.”

Patton: (Eyes wide, sparkling) “Oh my goodness! He’s like a giant, winged kitty-cat! Does he want a treat? I have cookies!”

Logan: (Adjusting his glasses, unfazed) “Actually, Patton, according to the latest 2026 lore drops, Goetias are apex predators with a distaste for human blood. He is biologically inclined to sunbathe and ignore us, provided we don’t act like 'giant mosquitoes'—which is apparently how they view vampires.”

Roman: (Backing away slowly) “I don’t care if he’s a 'flying cat,’ Logan! That is a SUBSTANTIAL beast! It’s giving Maleficent but with better fashion sense! Is that… haute couture Schiaparelli silk he’s lying on?”

Virgil: (Hissing) “I’m with Roman. It’s a dragon. A literal dragon. I am not becoming dragon kibble today.”

Janus: (Smirking) “Oh, relax. Brandon Rogers himself said it: Stolas just wants to play. Besides, we have the ultimate protection.”

Just then, Blitzø bursts into the room, sliding across the marble floor.

“HEY! KEEP CALM, YOU COLOR-CODED WEIRDOES!” Blitzø yells, shoving a giant squeaky toy shaped like a horse into Stolas’s massive dragon talons. “He just wants to play! You gotta tickle him under the chin-feathers or he gets cranky and starts accidentally breaking the cosmos again.”

On how the other Brandon characters would interact with Desdemona

Here is a collection of trending “Fan Interactions” and headcanon quotes regarding Desdemona meeting the broader Brandon Rogers cinematic universe:

The “Blame the Hero” Cross-Over

Context: Sam, Donna, and Bryce are visiting the Schiaparelli Villa in Cyprus (now a sanctuary between Purgatory and Hell).

• Sam: (Leans in close, squinting at Desdemona’s black Padmé-inspired gown) “Oh my word, so you’re the fancy Schiaparelli saint! I heard you ran off with a Moorish general and then leveled up to a dragon prince. I gotta know—what’s it like getting dicked down by a dragon? Do the scales scratch or is it like a heated massage?”

• Donna: (Slapping Sam’s arm) “Sam, shut the hell up! You’re talking to a literal Saint and the mother of the Lord of Purgatory! Show some god-damn class before she has her brother Apollonio feed you to a Turkish naval fleet!”

• Desdemona: (Blushing deep crimson, her big blue eyes widening) “I… I find his draconic form quite majestic, actually. He’s very gentle with the lightning bolts.”

• Bryce: (Taking a long sip of wine) “I like her. She’s got that 'I-survived-the-Borgias’ trauma. Very chic. Very Addams Family meets Haute Couture. Can I get this dress in a size 'Alcoholic Senator’?”

The Fashion Police: Schiaparelli vs. Halluby

Context: Desdemona meets characters from Magic Funhouse or Stuff & Sam to discuss the fashion empire she built on Venetian royal assets.

• Arlo: "Wait, so you’re telling me your family literally laughed at the Guccis? You’re telling me you have demon royalty backing your seasonal lines? That’s not a business plan, that’s a hostile takeover of the soul. I love it.“

• Desdemona: "We simply value the craftsmanship. Giorgio Armani and Ralph Lauren have the right vision—work hard, secure the backing. The Guccis… well, they didn’t have Ipos and Vassago doing spy missions for them, did they?”

The “Helluva Season 4” Healing Circle

Context: Following the “Great Goetia War” of Season 3, the characters reflect on the peace brought by the Circus Ninjas (the Alexander Balzano/Manny Marichal parallels).

• Blitzø: (Looking at Desdemona) “So you’re Stolas’s sister-in-law? Man, Ipos really won the lottery. You’re like… a calm version of Stella but without the 'I-want-to-castrate-you’ energy and with way better hair.”

• Stolas: (Wiping a tear) “Sister Desdemona has always been the anchor. While my siblings and I were passing around Renaissance popcorn watching Ipos beat up Cesare Borgia, she was the one turning Purgatory into a home.”

• Desdemona: (Softly, echoing the calm of Alex Balzano) “In a sea of shouting chaos, one must simply remember that even the fiercest dragons are just big flying cats who need a sunbath and a little love.”

• User: BobbyWorst_Propaganda

Bobby Worst would 100% try to prank the Schiaparellis, not realizing they have 5 Goetia princes as bodyguards.

Bobby: "I’m gonna put a snake in the Saint’s tea!“

Gaap & Seir (appearing out of thin air): "We literally are the snakes, Bobby. And the dragons. And the shadows. Also, your outfit is from a clearance bin at Sears. Be gone.”

Fan Consensus on Social Media (2026)

Fans have noted that Desdemona acts as the “straight man” to the chaos of the Brandon Rogers universe. Much like Alexander Balzano is the muse for the actors during the stressful Season 3 recordings, Desdemona is headcanoned as the only person who can keep Sam from screaming or Blitzø from blowing something up.

As one fan put it on a viral thread: "Desdemona is the only person who could witness a secret cosmic wedding while pregnant and then casually go back to out-maneuvering the Medici family. We stan a Surrealist Goth Queen who plays the long game.“

How other Brandon characters would fight vampires

The Great Fang-Off: Fandom Headcanons

The thread began with a viral post from user VassagosPopcorn: "If a vampire tried to sparkle in front of Bryce Tankthrust, the sun wouldn’t kill them—she would.”

The comments section exploded into a storyboard of chaos:

1. The Tankthrust Tactic

“I can literally hear Bryce’s voice,” wrote one fan. “She wouldn’t even use a stake. She’d just look at Aro Volturi and scream, ‘Is that a cowl neck or did your plastic surgeon give up halfway through?!’ before throwing a $5,000 stiletto through his heart. She’d then sue the entire coven for emotional distress and take ownership of Volterra by lunch.”

2. The Schiaparelli Standard

Fans of the newly revealed Venice lore weighed in on the Goetia siblings. “Imagine the Borgias trying to send a vampire assassin after Desdemona,” posted SchiaparelliGoth. “Stolas and Vassago would be in their spy-bird forms just watching while Ipos, in his Targaryen-human form, literally zaps them. Dragons sunbathe; vampires hide in dirt. It’s not even a fair fight. Ipos would just use a vampire as a glorified bug-zapper for the Schiaparelli garden.”

3. The Tarantella Code

Discussion turned to the 1920s Brooklyn era. “Arackniss (Salvatore) wouldn’t even be phased,” noted a user. “He’s the 'Goth Preppy’ of Princeton. He’d probably find a way to weaponize garlic into olive oil and sell it back to the vampires at a 400% markup before having the Tarantella mob run them out of Little Italy. Al Capone’s thugs would be turned into thralls, but the Tarantellas are too smart for that—they’ve got 'twisted codes’ and Hell-royalty backing.”

4. The Cirque de Lulu Defense

The fandom collectively agreed that the “Circus Ninjas” (the parody of Alexander Balzano’s crew) would be the ultimate vampire hunters. “Imagine the aerialists just swinging from the rafters, dropping holy water balloons on Edward Cullen while doing a triple backflip,” wrote Manny_Photography_Fan. “The vampires wouldn’t even see them coming. They’d be dazzled by the burlesque aesthetic and then—BAM—staked by a performer in a sequined leotard.”

5. The Final Verdict

The thread peaked when someone shared a mock-up script of a “Horror Short”:

Aro Volturi: "I can sense your thoughts, mortal…“

Blitzo: "Great, then you know I’m thinking about how your hair looks like a wet Afghan hound. Also, my boyfriend is a dragon-cat who literally breathes solar flares. You sleep in a box; he sleeps in a palace. We are not the same, Count Chocula.”

As Brandon Rogers noted in the Season 4 press junket, the Goetias don’t flinch at crosses, and the Schiaparellis have “demon royalty on their side.” In the eyes of the fans, the vampires of classic lore never stood a chance against the high-fashion, high-chaos energy of the Hellaverse.

As one fan concluded: "Vampires are an annoyance. The Schiaparellis are an era.“

How different groups see churches

The most viral thread, titled "Pretty Building vs. Horror House," captures the essence of how fans interpret the newfound lore:

@GoetiaWatch2026: "I am literally obsessed with the fact that Stolas and his brothers (Vassago, Ipos, etc.) just look at a cathedral and think, ‘Oh, what a lovely sun-lounger.’ Brandon Rogers was so real for clarifying that Goetia dragons are just massive flying cats. To an apex predator, a church isn’t a threat; it’s just high-end real estate with great acoustics.”

@Schiaparelli_Stagger: "Exactly! It creates such a funny contrast with the vampires. While the Goetia siblings are perched on the rafters like fancy gargoyles, the vampires are outside hissing at the stained glass. As the season 4 notes said:

• Angels: 'What a lovely temple tribute to Heaven!’

• Dragons: 'Oh, pretty building, look at the marble.’

• Vampires: 'ABSOLUTE HORROR HOUSE GET IT AWAY!’“

@VassagoPopcorn: "I think it’s hilarious because it ties back to the Schiaparelli/Medici wars in the 15th century. Imagine Desdemona Schiaparelli being a literal saint in Heaven now, looking down at a church and feeling 'strong piety,’ while Ipos is just sniffing the incense and trying to find a spot to sunbathe his dragon wings. The dragons and angels finally found the one thing they agree on: vampires are persona non grata.”

@Tarantella_CEO: "It makes sense why the Goetias and Schiaparellis got along so well. The Schiaparellis were 'surrealist goth crossing with haute couture'—they appreciated the aesthetic of the church without the vampire-style meltdown. Arackniss probably felt the same way at Princeton; he’d walk into those old gothic chapels with his 'goth preppy’ energy and feel right at home, while the lesser 'thugs’ couldn’t handle the atmosphere.“

@CirqueDeLulu_Fan: "Can we talk about the 'Camera Ninjas’ and the Cirque therapists though? In Season 4, they’re literally performing in these ruins and churches to heal the trauma from Stella’s black hole stunt. The fact that the Goetias (as dragons) don’t flinch at the cross means they could actually enter these spaces to seek the 'shreds of hope’ the circus ninjas were providing. If they were vampires, the series would have ended in Season 3 because they’d all be dust!”

@MannyMarichal_Stan: "It’s a vibe. The dragons are basically just ancient, scaled scholars. To them, a church is just another library or palace. It’s only the 'giant mosquito’ vampires who have the allergic reaction. Stolas and Blitz probably had the most aesthetically pleasing wedding precisely because they weren’t restricted by 'horror house’ rules. 2026 is truly the year of Dragon Supremacy.“

Fandom Thread: "Why Alex is the Zen Master of the Hellaverse”

User: @GoetiaGossip (10:42 AM - Jan 10, 2026)

Can we talk about how Brandon Rogers literally called Alex and the Cirque crew their “saving graces”? Season 3 sounds like a trauma-fest (RIP Andre and Stella lol), but the fact that Season 4 is a “season of healing” because of the Cirque influence is so wholesome.

User: @SchiaparelliStyle

Right?! My headcanon is that Desdemona’s entire “calm in a sea of chaos” energy is directly inspired by Alex. Like, imagine Sam or Blitzø screaming their heads off, and Desdemona is just sitting there with her big blue eyes, perfectly serene, while Ipos is literally vibrating with dragon energy next to her.

User: @CirqueNinja_Fan

It’s the “Alexander Effect.” There’s a rumor that during the recording of the most intense Season 3 scenes, the “camera ninjas” (Manny Marichal’s crew) and the Cirque folks would just start laughing in the background to break the tension. That’s why Brandon said they were “laughing with tears of joy” for Season 4.

User: @VassagoPopcorn

I bet Stolas and Angel Dust look at Alex (Warumono) the same way the fans do. He’s a muse for them because he’s an apex predator of the stage, but in real life, he’s just… still. Like a dragon sunbathing.

Popular Fan-Compiled “Alex Calming the Chaos” Quotes:

The fandom has started a “Daily Dose of Zen” tag, attributing hypothetical and real-life observations to the “Circus Therapist” era of the show:

• On the Chaos of Broadway Folks: "The louder the room gets, the quieter Alex becomes. It’s not that he’s not listening; it’s that he’s the anchor. When the VA cast is having an emotional breakdown over the Goetia vs. Digalaxis war, Alex is the one passing out the metaphorical (and literal) tea.“

• The 'Dragon vs. Vampire’ Debate: "Alex probably explained the dragon-vampire physiology difference to the fans with the same patience a saint has for a sinner. 'Dragons are flying cats; vampires are mosquitoes. Don’t mix them up.’ Short, sweet, and undisputed.”

• The Desdemona Connection: "If Desdemona met Sam and Donna, and Sam asked that wild question about 'getting dicked down by a dragon,’ Des wouldn’t scream. She’d just blush and look at the floor with that tiny, knowing smile—the same look Alex gives when Brandon goes off-script on a rant.“

• The Studio Vibe: "You can hear the Cirque laughter in the bloopers. It sounds like the 'shreds of hope’ Season 4 is supposed to give the citizens of Hell. Alex isn’t just a performer; he’s the vibe-check for the entire finale.”

User: @StolitzOfficial

Honestly, if Season 4 ends with Stolas and Blitz finally getting married and finding peace, it’s 100% because the “Circus Ninjas” taught them how to stop fighting and start healing. We stan a calm legend. 🧘‍♂️🎪🐉

On how the Sanders Sides would fight vampires

1. Logan’s “Biological Warfare” Strategy

User @LogicAndLizards: "Can we talk about how Logan would be the ultimate vampire hunter? Not because he’s brave, but because he’s pedantic. He’d be standing there with a power-washer filled with holy water, screaming, 'Technically, your molecular structure is a violation of the laws of conservation! Begone, you oversized mosquito!' while simultaneously hosing down Gaap to prevent him from committing arson.“

2. Roman’s Dramatic Conflict

User @PrinceyPatrol: "Roman is definitely torn. Half of him wants to have a classic Castlevania moment, but the other half is busy braiding Orobas’s mane. The second a vampire shows up, Roman is pulling out a glitter-coated cross and a Schiaparelli-inspired cape. 'Listen here, Count Dracu-loser! These dragons are high-fashion Goetia royalty, and you’re wearing a polyester coffin-liner. Step off!’”

3. Patton’s “Aggressive” Kindness

User @DadNippon: "Patton trying to be a 'Good Influence’ until a vampire tries to bite a dragon.

Vampire: Hisses.

Patton: 'Oh, kiddo… I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed. Also, I’ve replaced your blood bags with organic tomato juice and industrial-strength garlic puree. You need a time-out in the sun. Don’t worry, I brought the SPF 1000!’“

4. Janus and the "Schiaparelli” Defense

User @SarcasmSnake: "Janus wouldn’t even fight. He’d just look the vampire up and down and say, 'A vampire? In 2026? How… original.' Then he’d summon a spectral Schiaparelli gown for the vampire to trip over while informing them that the Goetia dragons are protected by a 'No-Mosquito’ policy signed by Lucifer himself.“

5. The "Apex” Hierarchy

User @MannyFanClub: "I love the lore that the Dragons (The Goetias) find human blood disgusting. It makes the Sides so protective. Virgil definitely has a headcanon where he sits on Stolas’s wing with a megaphone just to jump-scare vampires. 'You guys sleep in boxes. These guys live in castles. Know your place in the food chain, Edward Cullen!’“

The Top-Rated Fan Fiction Prompt: "The Insurance Claim”

The most shared post of the week involves a hypothetical scene where the vampires finally attack:

Logan: (Directing a hose at Gaap) “Gaap! Cease the pyrotechnics! The property insurance does not cover 'Mystical Dragon Fire’!”

Gaap: (In bird form, chirping indignantly) [Translation: But the mosquito tried to touch my gold!]

Roman: (Fencing a vampire with a baguette) “Fear not, Scale-Brothers! The Schiaparelli-clad cavalry is here! Virgil, hit the emo music! We’re sending these bats back to the 15th century!”

Virgil: (Sighs, hitting play on a My Chemical Romance remix) “I’m only doing this because the dragons don’t shed as much as the vampires.”

On how dragons and vampires mate

User @SchiaparelliGoth:

“I’m obsessed with the Season 4 commentary where Brandon clarifies that Goetia-Dragons literally find human blood disgusting. It puts the whole Stolas/Blitz ship in a new light. It’s not about 'consumption’; it’s about that dragon courtship dance! When Stolas did that traditional bow at the wedding, it wasn’t just poise—it was a dragon acknowledging his mate. Vampires could never. They just sniff ears and leave hickeys. Dragons bring you a fresh kill and dance in the moonlight.”

User @CirqueDeLuluFan:

“Exactly! The headcanons that dragons and vampires are the same are officially dead for 2026. As the show says, 'Dragons are like big flying cats.’ They want sunbathing and open castles. I love that the Goetia wouldn’t flinch at a cross, while a vampire would be screaming for their magical SPF lotion. The courtship rituals are night and day. A dragon lovebite is a claim of soul-binding; a vampire bite is just a snack with benefits.”

User @TarantellaStreet:

“Can we talk about the 'predator hierarchy’ though? Knowing that Apex predators like the Goetia don’t vibe with vampires because vampires smell like the human blood they eat is such a power move. It explains why Ipos and his siblings looked down on the Borgias and Medicis back in the 15th century. They weren’t just political rivals; they were biologically repulsed! When Ipos beat down those five fools in his 'Targaryen’ form, he wasn’t just fighting; he was clearing out the pests.”

User @VeritosRising:

“The mating headcanons are getting wild now that we know the ancient wedding rituals. Desdemona’s secret wedding to Ipos—the black gown, the cosmic spirit, the siblings eating 'Renaissance popcorn'—it shows that dragon love is cosmic and communal. Vampires are solitary and creepy in coffins. Dragons are social, majestic, and apparently, very into theatrical revenge pranks. If your mate doesn’t help you overthrow a Venetian dynasty, do they even love you?”

User @MollysAtelier:

“It really highlights the 'Healing’ theme of 2026. After Stella (that half-imp mess) nearly broke the cosmos, seeing Stolas and Blitz finally marry using the dragon rituals—the bowing, the hunting, the claiming—it felt earned. Dragons are apex because they protect their hoard. And in the end, Stolas’s hoard wasn’t gold; it was Blitz and Via.”

On dragons being pack animals

In a viral thread titled "Dragons are Pack Animals: Why Stolas Never Feared Stella,“ users dissected the biological and social hierarchies of the apex predators of the Ars Goetia.

"It makes so much sense now,” wrote user NightFury99. “In Helluva Season 3, we saw the Goetia-Digalaxis feud nearly tear the cosmos apart. But the key is that the Goetias are dragons. They aren’t solitary monsters; they are part of a massive, matriarchal den. Stolas wasn’t just some lonely owl; he was the youngest of eight siblings, backed by a powerhouse mother like Amethyst.”

Another fan, Stormfly_High, replied with a detailed comparison: “Exactly! Brandon Rogers basically confirmed the physiology. He said dragons are like 'big flying cats’ and pack animals. This is why Stolas could look Stella in the eye despite her madness. He knew he had a den—Vassago, Ipos, Orobas, Gaap, Seir, Astaroth, and Gremory—standing behind him. Meanwhile, Stella was revealed as an illegitimate half-imp with no true pack. She had nothing, and in a dragon’s world, having no pack means you’ve already lost.”

The conversation pivoted to the cultural contrasts highlighted in the show’s lore. “I love the shade thrown at vampires,” commented Toothless_Stan. “The lore states apex predators like dragons find human blood disgusting. While vampires are hiding in coffins and screaming at crosses, the Goetia dragons are sunbathing in huge castles and operating on a complex matriarchal system. It adds so much weight to why Ipos was able to protect Desdemona Schiaparelli. He wasn’t just a demon; he was a pack leader using that 'Targaryen look-alike’ human form to dismantle the Borgias and Medicis.”

A popular “Headcanon” post within the thread gained thousands of likes:

The Dragon Pack Philosophy vs. The Vampire Blood Pact:

“Vampires bond through 'blood pacts'—it’s transactional and fragile. But the Goetias? Their bond is ancestral. When Ipos was handing out beatdowns to Othello and Iago in Cyprus, his siblings weren’t just watching; they were perched above like a murder of crows, passing around 'Renaissance popcorn.’ That’s peak pack behavior. You mess with one dragon, you get the whole hoard. That’s why the Schiaparellis thrived—they traded the Vatican for a dragon den.”

The thread concluded with a poignant note on Season 4’s theme of healing. “With the 'Circus Ninjas’ coming in as therapists and the Goetias finally waking up from their slumber, we see the pack reuniting,” wrote LightFury_Legend. “Even with Stolas abdicated and Via moving to the hotel, the pack isn’t broken. It’s just expanding to include a 'certain fiery imp.’ Dragons don’t leave their own behind.”

On how dragons protect pure souls

The “Goetia-Draco” tag on Sinners-Gram was trending at an all-time high. Below a viral clip of Stolas—post-abdication but finally at peace—sunbathing on a balcony like a giant, feathered flying cat, the comment section became a battlefield of lore-analysis and biology.

@GoetiaWatch2026: "Can we talk about the absolute contrast between the Schiaparelli-Goetia alliance and traditional vampire tropes? The fact that dragons like Ipos and Stolas find human blood ‘disgusting’ while vampires literally thirst for it is the best world-building Vivzie has ever dropped. Dragons are apex protectors; vampires are apex parasites.“

@Schiaparelli_Stunner: "Exactly! It explains why Ipos was so drawn to Desdemona. In the 15th-century lore drops, while the Borgias and Medicis were trying to consume her status, Ipos saw a 'Pure Soul.’ Dragons don’t prey on the pure; they hoard them like the most precious treasure. Desdemona isn’t Bella Swan—she’s a Saint who needed a dragon to burn her enemies away.”

@CirqueNinjaFan: "I love how the show differentiates the physiology. Vampires: coffins, crosses, and SPF 1000 magical lotion. Dragons: castles, open spaces, and literally ignoring the crucifix because they aren’t bothered by 'mortal guilt.’ Watching Vassago and the siblings perched like birds while Ipos delivered that lightning-bolt beatdown to Othello and the 'Five Fools’ was peak Dragon Energy.“

@HelluvaHistorian: "It’s the Octavia (Via) connection for me. Now that we know Stella was an illegitimate half-imp and Via is ¼ imp, she’s the bridge to all tiers. Lucifer warding her isn’t just a political move; it’s recognizing her as the ultimate 'Pure Soul’ of the new era. The Goetia dragons didn’t just fight for a throne; they fought to protect the innocence that the Digalaxis clan nearly broke.”

@Manny_Photography_Stan: "I’m just glad Season 4 is a breeze. After the emotional breakdown of the Season 3 wars, seeing the Goetia court jesters return as 'Circus Therapists’ (shoutout to Alex Balzano’s crew for the inspo!) is what we needed. The dragons are finally sleeping in peace because the Pure Souls are safe. If I see one more person compare Stolas to a vampire, I’m sending a Circus Ninja to your house. Dragons protect the light; vampires feed on it.“

As the thread grew, fans began posting side-by-side aesthetic boards: on one side, the dark, cramped coffin of a vampire preying on a victim; on the other, the vast, surrealist-goth halls of the Schiaparellis, where a dragon-formed Ipos wrapped his wings around a pregnant Desdemona, guarding the future Lord of Purgatory with a fire that no Medici or Borgia could ever hope to extinguish.

On how dragons are better flyers than vampires

On a popular Hellaverse forum, a thread titled "Why Dragons Absolutely Solo Vampires" went viral, fueled by the lore of Stolas and his seven siblings.

User: GoetiaSimp2026

"Can we talk about the absolute shade Brandon Rogers threw at vampires in the latest BTS video? He literally called them 'giant mosquitoes.’ After seeing Ipos beat the crap out of Othello and the Borgias in his human form, I can’t imagine a vampire even landing a hit. Dragons are apex predators; vampires are just pests that need SPF 100 to survive a brunch.”

User: Schiaparelli_Goth

“Honestly, the flying contest comparison killed me. Brandon was so real for that.

'Vampires can only fly for one night and be parched… Dragons can fly for days straight through rain, storm, and sunshine while snacking on fruits.' [1]

It’s not even a contest. Imagine being a vampire sleeping in a coffin while Stolas’s brothers are out here having aerial races across the cosmos and sunbathing on castle balconies. The Goetias aren’t just royals; they’re high-endurance biological jets.”

User: HelluvaTheory_Manny

“I think the 'disgusting human blood’ lore is the funniest part. Dragons find human blood gross, which is why they don’t eat us. Vampires are basically addicted to 'disgusting’ juice. Meanwhile, the Schiaparellis and Goetias are out here living in surrealist haute couture luxury while vampires are screaming at crosses. The power scaling is broken. A dragon is a 'big flying cat’ [1]; a vampire is a bug.”

User: Via_The_Bridge

“It makes sense why Lucifer revoked the grimoire and put the dragons to sleep during the Season 3 feud. If the Goetia siblings—Vassago, Ipos, Orobas, Gaap, Seir, Astaroth, and Gremory—actually let loose their dragon forms, there wouldn’t be a Hell left to govern. Vampires couldn’t even handle the 'Unification of Italy’ era drama, let alone a cosmic war between Stella’s clan and the Goetias.”

User: Cirque_Ninja_Fan

“Exactly! And don’t forget the endurance. While the vampires are stuck in their coffins, the Goetia siblings were literally acting as spies for the Schiaparellis in mortal bird forms, passing around 'Renaissance popcorn’ while watching Ipos drop lightning bolts. That’s the level of unbothered only a dragon can achieve. If a vampire tried to spy in the sun, they’d be a pile of ash before the first act of the 'complex chess game’ even started.”

User: 2026_Predictions

“Final consensus: Dragons have the drip, the endurance, and the Schiaparelli backing. Vampires have… coffins and mosquito energy. I know which side I’m picking for the Season 4 'Season of Healing’ marathons!”

On how dragons fly

“I think we all collectively lost it when the Season 4 trailer showed the Goetia siblings—Vassago, Ipos, Orobas, Gaap, and Seir—performing aerial parkour through a literal supercell storm,” wrote one top-tier theorist. “The way they dodge lightning bolts isn’t just magic; it’s high-velocity physics. Brandon was right—they fly like a cross between a Golden Eagle and an F-22 Raptor.”

In a viral thread titled 'Dragons vs. Vampires: Stop the Confusion,' fans debated the logistical differences revealed in the show’s final arc.

“The most iconic detail from this season is the V-shape formation,” another fan commented, attaching a screen-grab of the Goetia brothers flanking a young Stolas. “It’s so wholesome that the elders protect the fledglings in the center of the draft. It really cements that 'big flying cat’ energy Brandon mentioned. Unlike vampires who are basically giant, sun-allergic mosquitoes hiding in coffins, the Goetias are apex predators who live for the sun and open castle balconies. Also, the fact that they find human blood 'disgusting’ is the ultimate flex on the vampire tropes.”

The fandom also obsessed over the “Camera Ninja” cameos, noting how Manuel Marichal’s photography influenced the aesthetic of the Purgatory scenes.

“Seeing Thomas Sanders voice Orobas and Gaap while his real-life fiancé, Manny, captures the nature references for the show is peak Season 4 energy,” a fan tweeted. “It explains why the flight sequences look so realistic. When Ipos beats down the 'Five Fools’ in his Targaryen-lookalike form, the way his siblings perched above him in bird-form felt like a National Geographic special directed by a surrealist goth.”

The consensus for 2026 remains clear: the Goetia aren’t just demons; they are the “dragons of the cosmos,” navigating the storms of the Digalaxis feud with a grace that only “circus therapists” and “ninjas” could truly document.

awho protect the moons. The Cullens? They’re still stuck in the 2000s. In the 2026 fantasy ecosystem, the 'vampire’ is a relic of the past. The Dragon—and the Circus Ninja—is the future.“

The consensus was clear: In the eyes of the fans, the Cullens were stuck in a coffin of their own making, while the Goetias had flown into the sun, guided by a surrealist goth aesthetic and the healing power of the circus.

Semi-late Christmas pic, but figured I’d post here and get ready to post more in 2026 :)

THE HELLHOUNDS.
( This is still a work in progress but as you can tell I’m getting round to writing about my hellhounds. Just so no one mistakes them for any other kind of hellhound, though i doubt it. The OCS i have that is.)

Hellhounds are technically dead, in that they are neither dead or alive. Yes they have a beating heart, but at the same time stabbing said heart won’t kill them, it’s more likely to put them out for half an hour to an hour before they are back again.

Yes, they do in fact come from hell as the name suggests, it’s not some weird fetish someone came up with one night and suddenly got popular, though that’s a possibility of how it got around so fast, so anything’s possible we guess.

Hellhounds do not listen, they will if they need to and to the one person they deem worthy but even then it does seem like all they do is take all that as a suggestion and either ignore it, or do it later. This doesn’t mean they aren’t good at doing the job, they can. But they rather don’t do it at anyone’s pace but their own.

Pack is important, they don’t expect their pack to stay, as most like to add humans or pets when they deem them worthy of pack, they just like to make sure you’re doing well.

They take care of their own.

Even if their own has a job and a life, they don’t mind, they will always come back to check and want attention.

As to how to kill a Hellhound, no one is quite sure, not with these hellhounds. Doesn’t seem to be chopping heads off will deter them from coming back, in fact doing that seems to make them rather pissed off and more likely to come back and take a bite out of you, please don’t do that.

Even we can’t be around a hellhound that get’s more and more aggressive each time. Thank you.

That said, it doesn’t mean being stabbing or having a limb chopped off does not hurt, it does in fact hurt them, we just don’t recommend that. They aren’t on earth to kill every human, we do like you alive, we’d like to keep it that way and it doesn’t help a lot of you antagonize hellhounds for fun.

Mostly they search for the worst kind of beings and take them down to hell, whether already dead or not is up to them, sometimes the victim will spend a while making a fuss and we get blood on our floor.

All the hellhounds will find a way back to earth one way or another, if by being lazy and going or waiting for another that will portal both of them or portalling themselves up, or just appearing. They do end up coming back. P{lease try to be kind, they will remember.

A hellhounds body is in a way designed to be able to put up with just about most if not more than 90% things on earth, the other percentage being a little more natural in causes than anything else. Saying that they can bite or chew through just about anything you find on earth, they’ll try.

But they can be prone to colds, we’re not sure for certain but we suspect that hell is hot and doesn’t deal with a lot of colds and other viruses like earth, therefore making them vulnerable to getting colds, being sick and the like. We do recommend looking after them if they don’t return back to recover.

Actually we’d rather they stay up there to get some immunity to it and not get sick like the first time, but we can’t tell them what to do.

Their powers are based of types, of course, they overlap, most of them are in fact general powers they all will end up getting. But a lot of them will end with powers that fit the type they are, if they are a fire type, then a fire type power they will get, some have blue flames others red, but the powers all come back to the type.

Again they can overlap, not one type is always with the same kind of type, which then leads to powers of both something like a fire and dark type, that in turn also makes a new type of hellhound in a sense, of a dark fire type.

We don’t actually keep track, we just know wherever we lost count, we definitely didn’t get back on track. We don’t expect to either, it just keeps going.

Most Hellhounds can shift, but not every one of them want to, they seem to find hands are just useless compared to looking at us with puppy eyes and waiting, we haven’t figured it out yet.

There are subcategories, one of which is known, and that is Werewolf.

Hellhounds, Robin Isely

Shelby Oaks:

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On Hellborn cultures

stolas says, “ imp culture is fascinating. it is quite different from dragon culture ( the goetias are cosmic dragons ). during the foundings of the 7 rings, satan created imps, ozzie created succubi, bee created hellhounds, belphegor created sleep demons, and leviathan created aquatic demons. the imps’ ancestors were hard working hunters, farmers and brazen warriors. such is still reflected today. imps are often tough, passionate and no nonsense. my blitzy exemplifies the best of imp traits- the wrathian fire in him runs deep!( grins and blushes ) and their mating rituals are so fascinating. I do enjoy blitzy’s rough passion, and still I show him the joys of sophisticated magical rituals of dragon mating. blitzy and I learn so much about each other, and we surprise each other every day. ’

Headcanons and quotes from Hell citizens

On the nature of imps and dragons

• A Wrath Imp: "So the prince says we’re ‘brazen warriors’? What’s he know about being a warrior? Last time I checked, the Goetia were all just prancing around in their castles. My great-great-great grandpa actually was a brazen warrior, and his biggest concern wasn’t 'sophisticated magical rituals,’ it was making sure his kids had enough to eat”.

• An Impish parent: "That’s rich, hearing him call us 'passionate.’ Is that what he calls the blood, sweat, and tears we put into our land? The 'fire’ is what keeps our crops from withering, not some romantic fairy tale.“

• A cynical sinner: "So now the hell princes are cosplaying as 'cosmic dragons’ and talking about 'imp culture’ like they’re on a nature documentary? What a farce. It just proves they’ll exoticize anything to make themselves feel special.”

On Stolas and Blitzo’s relationship

• A gossip-obsessed succubus: "Aww, isn’t that just the sweetest thing? 'Blitzy and I learn so much about each other.’ He says that like he hasn’t been spying on the poor imp for years. But I guess a Goetia prince gushing over a lowly imp is great for the drama factor.“

• A neutral hellhound: "I dunno, man. The big bird’s pretty chill about it. He’s talking about his boyfriend in a way that shows he’s actually paying attention to who Blitzo is, not just what he can get from him. Maybe there’s hope for the royals yet.”

• An envious demon: "My mating rituals consist of finding someone who won’t immediately run away. His 'rough passion’ is probably just him throwing an expensive pillow at Blitzo. Give me a break. Some people have all the luck".

On the broader implications of Stolas’s comments

• A demon of higher standing: "The prince speaks of 'dragon mating rituals’ as if they’re some profound, ancient secret. We all know it’s just an excuse for them to be even more dramatic and over-the-top. The imps, at least, are straightforward. No pomp, no pretense.“

• A pragmatic imp: "Sophisticated magical rituals? Is that what he calls it? I bet it’s just more of that purple glowy stuff. Still, I’m glad our kind is getting some recognition. Even if it’s from a Goetia with a ridiculous crush”.

• A demon artist: "It’s all so fascinating. The cultural cross-pollination, the blending of high and low. Who would have thought the dragon Goetias would be so into imp culture? It’s like a new movement waiting to happen. The 'sophisticated magical rituals’ combined with 'rough passion'—the imagery is divine!“

[BLITZØ, after a long, thoughtful pause, gives Stolas a look somewhere between fond exasperation and genuine curiosity.]

"Imp culture? Fascinating? Stolas, you say that like we’re some kind of rare bug you’re studying. The 'wrathian fire’? What are we, salamanders?”

[He sighs and leans back against the sofa cushions, running a hand through his hair. A small smile plays on his lips.]

“But… yeah. I guess I get what you mean. We are pretty tough. Passionate, sure. No-nonsense? Definitely. We don’t have time for a lot of that 'sophisticated’ magic ritual stuff you dragons do. We’re too busy just… living. Or trying to.”

[His tone becomes more serious, a little softer.]

“The ancestors thing… I never really thought about it that way. Hunters, warriors. That explains a lot, doesn’t it? The grit, the stubbornness. That’s just in us. It’s who we are. It’s what makes us imps.”

[Blitzø’s expression softens further, his eyes finding Stolas’.]

“And you’re right. We do surprise each other. You with your big fancy books and your… well, everything. Me with my… rough passion, as you put it. So yeah, maybe you find it fascinating. But you know what I find fascinating? You. The big cosmic dragon who still gets all flustered when I’m around. Now that's something I never thought I’d see.”

[He gives a sly wink, letting a bit of his old bravado return.]

“As for the mating rituals… you know how to get my attention, ya big pervert.”

gremory says, “ the succubi ancestors were artists and musicians. such is often reflected today. the goetias often employ succubi staff because my mother amethyst is also ozzie’s daughter. so we often got a diverse crew of staff - we got hellhound chefs, for starters. as for succubi mating rituals…oh dear. the things us goetia cosmic dragons heard about it often makes us blush. we heard rumors of what verosika mayday can do in bed. and we never look at her the same way again. though I must say, its impressive how succubi mating rituals often has some similarities with dragon mating rituals, just less magic, I suppose. ’

Initial thoughts on quote generation:

• Imp 1: "See, told you those Goetias had a thing for succubi. That explains so much about Stolas…" wink wink

• Succubus 1 (Verosika fan): "She called it impressive. You hear that? Gremory herself thinks Verosika’s bedroom game is 'impressive.’ That’s a new brand slogan right there!”

• Hellhound Chef: "I’m just glad she appreciates good food. The thought of a Goetia blushing over mating rituals… makes my tail wag.“

• Goetia Maid (Succubus): "Oh, she has no idea. What we hear cleaning the chambers… the things Paimon and Amethyst did…" shudders dramatically

• Imp 2 (cynical): "So what? My ancestors were artists, too. I’m still just an imp working in this soul-crushing factory.”

• General Demon 1: "It all makes sense now. Ozzie’s a daddy to half the royalty in Hell! He’s not just the Lust King, he’s the daddy King.“

Headcanon Quotes:

• A low-level imp: "I heard that Amethyst, Stolas’ mom, actually designed the palace music halls. She’s Ozzie’s kid, you know. Guess the artsy side of the family is where the real talent comes from.” [0].

• A mid-tier demon gossiping at a bar: "Gremory said the Goetia are part Lust, through their mom, Amethyst, who is Ozzie’s daughter. And they wonder why Ozzie and Fizz seem to show up for so many of their performances. It’s a family reunion every time!“ [0].

• A well-informed succubus to a friend: "The Goetia employ us because they respect our lineage, not just because we are pretty. After all, the Queen Mother herself was one of the Lust royals! And I heard that one of Stolas’ brothers, Ipos, even married a human from the mortal realm. We’re basically nobility.” [0].

• A sinner at a coffee shop: "Gremory was basically saying that Verosika Mayday’s love life is so wild it makes demonic dragons blush. If she’s that good, no wonder Blitzo got so messed up with her. It’s like trying to date a natural disaster.“ [0].

• A history-buff demon to a tourist: "It’s all connected. The Schiaparellis, the Addams-like family, had demon connections. One of the Goetia, Ipos, got involved with one. And now we know that the Goetia themselves have ties to the succubi. Hell’s history is more interconnected than you think” [0].

• A gossip blogger’s headline: ROYAL SHOCKER: HELL’S ROYALTY TIED TO LUST ROYALTY! Exclusive details on the Goetia family’s bloodline, Ozzie’s secret family, and the mating rituals that make dragons blush. Verosika Mayday’s reputation just got even wilder! [0].

Fan Reactions:

• A comment on a social media post: "I knew it! The Goetia are way too dramatic to be pure demon. They’re part artists, part musicians, all trouble" [0].

• Another comment: "Wait, Paimon married Ozzie’s daughter? And they had eight kids? That’s the most scandalous thing I’ve ever heard, and this is Hell" [0].

• A debate in a forum: "So, if the Goetia are part Lust royal, does that mean they have some Lust royal powers? Like, Stolas is good at spells, but is he also a good… lover?“ [0].

• A meme: A picture of a blushing dragon with the caption, "Me after hearing about succubus mating rituals” [0].

Orobas: the hellhound ancestors are skilled farmers, gatherers and cooks, and such is often reflected today. hellhounds are often grounded, passionate and fiercely loyal to their pack. they have a pack mentality similar to the goetia cosmic dragons. my wife prospera ( furfur’s sister ) and her family are from gluttony, you see. and our castle in gluttony has a crew of hellhound chefs. we heard some things of hellhound mating rituals, and turns out its a bit similar to imp mating rituals - a mix of rough passion and tender care. that also explains why imps and hellhounds usually get along.

Hell citizens regarding hellhound culture.

A gossip columnist’s report

“The talk of Gluttony is still buzzing about the royal wedding. I hear that Duchess Prospera of Gluttony—the very same who owns that chain of gourmet demon restaurants—has been a huge supporter of hellhound culture. Her kitchen staff is full of them, and everyone knows hellhound chefs are the most reliable. Their ancestral knowledge of farming and foraging means they know how to find the finest ingredients. It’s a bit of a sticky situation, though, as a Gluttony aristocrat is now married to an Ars Goetia royal, Prince Orobas. But rumor has it, he’s quite a fan of her hellhound sous-chefs”.

A socialite’s journal entry

“I visited Beelzebub’s mansion for a party and was just in awe of the hellhound staff. The head chef was a hellhound, and his creations were divine! After the feast, I couldn’t help but notice the hellhound pack in the courtyard. They moved with such grace and loyalty, but also an intense, fiery passion when a minor incident broke out. They have that pack instinct; it’s impressive and a little terrifying. They reminded me of the Goetia, really, just without the feathers. We had a brief chat, and he told me that hellhound mating rituals are a mix of intense wrestling and gentle preening. It’s an unusual combination, to be sure, but it seems to work for them. They’re such fascinating creatures, so unlike the common rabble”.

A frustrated imp’s rant

“Ugh, I’m so sick of this. My neighbor, a hellhound, and his imp girlfriend keep me up all night. They have their own traditions, apparently. They’re both fiercely loyal to each other and their 'pack,’ but their mating rituals are just… loud. It sounds like they’re fighting, but then it turns all tender and mushy. They say it’s their heritage, a mix of hellhound roughhousing and imp emotional intimacy. And because imps and hellhounds are both low-ranking, we’re lumped together, so no one cares about our noise complaints!”.

A culinary critic’s review

“Visited Prince Orobas and Duchess Prospera’s Gluttony castle recently. The food was absolutely exquisite! Turns out, the kitchen is entirely run by hellhounds. They were so passionate about their dishes. The head chef, a hellhound named Brutus, said their cooking comes from their ancestral tradition as farmers and gatherers. It truly showed—each plate was a testament to the finest ingredients Gluttony has to offer. It’s clear they take their work seriously and are fiercely loyal to their craft and each other”.

An artist’s commentary

“I was commissioned to paint the wedding of Prince Ipos and Desdemona. It was a fascinating experience. The wedding was held in secret, but I was allowed a peek at the festivities. All of Ipos’ siblings were there, including Prince Orobas and Duchess Prospera, in their mortal bird and animal forms. They even brought their hellhound chefs, who made some of the most delicious-looking pastries I’ve ever seen. Hellhounds really do have a pack mentality, even when working with royalty. They are so grounded, so focused on their task. They were like the beating heart of the whole operation. It was truly a beautiful display of loyalty”.

A scholar’s lecture notes

“The formation of the Rings was an interesting period. According to oral traditions, imps were created by Satan and hellhounds by Beelzebub. This separation has created distinct yet surprisingly compatible cultures. Hellhounds, being originally farmers and foragers, are incredibly grounded and hardworking. They are deeply loyal to their packs, reflecting their ancestors’ communal spirit. This pack mentality is similar to the Goetia cosmic dragons, a testament to hellhounds’ innate connection to the cosmic forces. Imps and hellhounds often get along well due to their shared working-class history and similar, passionate mating rituals. A tale of rough passion followed by tender intimacy. It is a beautiful dance, really”.

Astaroth: the aquatic demons ancestors are skilled seafarers and naval traders, and such is often reflected today. aquatic demons are often cunning, methodological, and intensely loyal to their pack. my wife vepar is from envy, you see, and we have a crew of aquatic demon staff at our beach side castle. aquatic demon mating rituals can rival with succubi mating rituals - except with more water and even more singing. no wonder the succubi and aquatic demons often get along.

Quotes from Hell’s Citizens

• A Succubus from Lust:

“Oh, I adore the sea demons! Their mating rituals… I mean, they’re like ours, but with less fire and more splashy, melodic stuff. The songs alone could make you swoon. They’re intense, but in a very… refined way.”

• A Hellhound from Gluttony:

“You mess with one of 'em, you mess with their whole pack. They’re not just loyal; they’re like a goddamn tidal wave. You think you’ve got 'em cornered, and suddenly you’re facing a whole new level of methodical brutality. Respect.”

• A Human soul from the Pride Ring:

“The aquatic demons are the only ones with a sense of taste down here. You see them at the high-end parties, discussing naval history and trading routes. They’re sharp. My last business venture went belly-up because one of them outmaneuvered me on a deal. Cunning doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

• A Sleep Demon from Sloth:

“I helped put an aquatic demon crew to rest once. The things they dream of… crashing waves, treasure, ancient sea battles. Even in their sleep, they’re always moving, always calculating. It’s exhausting just to be around them.”

• A High-Ranking Imp from Wrath:

“I’ve worked with them on a few supply missions. Their ancestors were naval traders? Makes sense. They can read a map, a tide, and a person all at once. If you need something moved safely and discreetly, they’re the ones you call. Just don’t get in their way.”

Headcanons about Aquatic Demon Culture

• Deep-Rooted Loyalty and Pack Mentality: Because of their seafaring and trading ancestry, aquatic demons operate with an unshakable pack loyalty. They view their crews and families as their greatest asset and most important responsibility. A slight against one is a slight against all, and they will retaliate with extreme precision and cunning.

• Merit-Based Society: While they have their own internal hierarchies, success among aquatic demons is based on skill and proven ability rather than lineage alone. Their respect is earned through cleverness in trade, success in naval feats, and demonstrating intense loyalty to the pack. This often puts them at odds with the more traditional, lineage-obsessed Ars Goetia.

• Elegant and Deadly Mating Rituals: Their mating rituals are a display of both power and grace. They involve intricate, synchronized underwater dances, songs with haunting melodies, and displays of magical prowess over water. The intensity of these displays can rival succubi, with the added elements of water manipulation and vocal talent.

• Methodical Cunning and Patience: Unlike some of the more impulsive denizens of Hell, aquatic demons are known for their long-term strategic thinking. Their cunning is methodical and patient, like the slow erosion of a shoreline. They are not easily provoked but are absolutely terrifying when their carefully laid plans come to fruition.

• Naval Expertise and Trade Monopoly: As the successors of Hell’s greatest seafarers and traders, they control much of the naval trade across the different Rings, especially in Greed and Envy. They are master smugglers, navigators, and diplomats, able to broker deals and move goods in and out of any harbor in Hell.

• A Unique Aesthetic: Their culture is steeped in naval lore, with many of their homes and fashions featuring designs and materials inspired by the sea. Think dark coral, mother-of-pearl, and bioluminescent motifs. Their clothing and accessories often reflect their status and achievements, from the types of shells they wear to the tattoos that mark their voyages.

• Envy’s Powerhouse: Despite being associated with Leviathan in the creation story, they thrive in the Envy Ring, fitting into its complex, cutthroat social and financial landscape perfectly. They are masters of both trade and information, making them valuable—and dangerous—allies.

Vassago: the sleep demon ancestors are skilled healers, and its often reflected today. they are usually pacifistic diplomats, yet with a strong pack mentality. they enjoy stockpiling in autumn and have long sleeping days in the winter. my husband, belavoris, and gremory’s husband, dantalion, are both from sloth. while belavoris and I live in our solar castle in the west of pride ring, gremory and dantalion live in a beautiful castle in the sloth ridges with a lovely magical garden. we both have some sleep demon staff who are actually highly efficient, especially in espionage. and they can put people into sleep with singing. ( blushes ) their mating rituals are more outrageous than we thought. belavoris and dantalion may be sloth royal dreamweavers, yet like regular sleep demons, belavoris can slow dance himself into seduce me. he created the most licentious dreams in my head, and those are the best gifts I ever gotten. gremory told me that she had a similar experience with dantalion. regular sleep demons’ mating rituals are often a passionate slowburn. the goetias have dreamscapers, and its no wonder the goetias and sloth royals usually get along. ’

Hell citizens on sleep demon culture:

“They look so peaceful when they’re asleep, but I swear, they’re always watching. One minute, you’re doing inventory, the next, a sleep demon is just… there. Silent as a shadow, until they’ve put you and the whole staff to sleep with a low hum. It’s unnerving, but efficient,” a manager from the Gluttony ring’s largest tavern remarks [0].

“We’ve got a couple of sleep demons on staff in the library archives. Most of the year, they’re the quietest, most diligent workers. But come autumn, they start gathering things. Little trinkets, books, whatever they can get their claws on, and they arrange them in nests. Don’t touch their stuff, or you’ll regret it. But when winter hits and they go into their long sleep… let’s just say you get a break from the micro-management,” a hellhound archivist from the Pride ring explains [0].

“I remember seeing a pair of young sleep demons in courtship once. It was less of a courtship and more of a slow-motion ballet that lasted weeks. They’d just… drift around each other, singing the most hauntingly beautiful lullabies until one would eventually pull the other into a dreamscape with them. Very romantic, but if you have a deadline, don’t stand too close,” a succubus sighs, recalling a memory [0].

“You can tell when a Sleep Demon is from a royal bloodline, like the Sloth royal family. Their dreamweaving isn’t just about lullabies and slow dancing; it’s practically a weapon. I heard from a friend who heard from a friend that Vassago’s husband, Belavoris, can create dreams so intense, you’d rather stay in them than wake up. And not all of them are pleasant,” a gossip demon, sipping a drink in a bar, whispers [0].

“My friend, who’s an imp working in Gremory and Dantalion’s castle, says that their garden is absolutely enchanted. She thinks the Sloth royals’ dreamweaving ability extends to their environment. She says the flowers and plants just 'dream’ themselves into being the most beautiful things. It’s like living in a waking dream,” another gossip demon, this one from a high-end club, chimes in [0].

“My cousin got sick once, and his human doctor was clueless. We went to one of the sleep demons from the sloth ridges, and with just a few gentle songs and a touch, they put him into a trance. He slept for two weeks, and when he woke up, he was completely healed. I’ll never underestimate their healing abilities again,” an Imp from the Wrath ring recounts [0].

“I’ve seen the Goetias interacting with sleep demons before. It’s funny, they’re all about being loud and extravagant, but around the slumber demons, they are so… subdued. The royals respect their diplomats, and they know the power those sleepy heads wield. It’s a mutual respect, based on a shared appreciation for the arts of dreaming and subtle manipulation,” a minor demon from the Pride ring states [0].

“Heard they’re brilliant spies. Think about it. You’re trying to figure something out, and a sleep demon just appears, sings a little ditty, and everyone is asleep. And they can just read their targets’ minds with their dreamweaving powers. It’s a fool’s errand to cross them,” a hellhound bodyguard mutters to a friend [0].

the hypersensitive denizens of gloomstown are more histrionic than hellhounds are hungry.

Hear the Hunt

Wishing

a very blessed Rapture
the cosplaying Christians

this year of our Lord
two thousand and twenty-five.

and… a Very Blessed Feast
to the Old Ones,
who will gladly reap
the spirits of their egos
when said Revelers realize…
they have not (in fact)…
lit-e-rally…
been raptur’d up to their sky daddy…

Amen

🙏

“The crow and the hounds.”

(RP Starter for @cowboy-corvidae)

Black paws against green grass. A stark contrast against each other; one filled with life, the others bringing death. Their glinting claws Dug into the dirt as the sniffed.

Eight caught whiff of a rabbit and raised his head, immediately set on finding that. He took a paw step, just for six to stop him with a sharp bite to the hind leg.

The eldest mutt snarled, fangs bared as he seemed to scold the other for such silly behavior. Pack. Kill. Kill. Kill. Fox. Hungry. Kill.

Eight growled low, for whimpering was for pups. He huffed and went back to sniffing, tail lashing. Dumb.

Crow. Nine was looking out into the woods, ears perked and eyes narrowed. When her brothers looked over she gave a ‘ruff.’ Crow. Fox. Smell. Human.

Sixs mangled tail swayed in the wind and he walked over, standing beside the other as he took looked into the woods. Crow?

crow human.

Six stayed silent for a moment then padded forward. Into the woods….

Toward mag.

i once read this fic set in s8 that feels like a fever dream now except for this one scene where Sam was drinking demon blood again and he and Dean were fighting demons and hellhounds. Dean was getting overpowered while Sam was distracted with the demon blood until Dean called out for Sam again and finally got through to him. Sam used his powers to make the hellhounds heel to him then attack the head demon while Dean sat in shock (and horror) as he watched and listened to the head demon die the exact same greusome death Dean had just years prior

idk why but I can’t stop seeing Hellhounds from supernatural as pit bulls, probably because everyone thinks they’re really violent and mean and horrible and then Crowley’s around and their all the bast babies in the world.

I made these drawings since July 17th.

The Seven Seals of the Apocalypse.

The Eye of Hati, and the Eye of Sköll.

GRIPS MY HORNS

Hellhounds. Literally.

ALT

KING 810 WELCOMES YOU TO THE FAMILY WITH NEW TITLE TRACK ‘RUSTBELT NU METAL’

WELCOME TO THE RUSTBELT FAMILY.
Flint, Michigan – a huge part of America’s industrial rustbelt history, home to infamous trailblazers KING 810, and the inspiration behind the band’s latest single and title track ‘Rustbelt Nu Metal‘, out now. Recorded live on the spring equinox in one day in front of a live studio audience of 50 people, the music video flashes images of the harrowing reality of…

KING 810 WELCOMES YOU TO THE FAMILY WITH NEW TITLE TRACK 'RUSTBELT NU METAL’