Fuuuckkk life is so complicated
Text
and theres the thing; my therapist tries to say i should find someone like k again but i just… cant. its not that i’m “attaching guilt to my feelings”, that feeling should be there. no normal person should be possessing someone that stated they wanted nothing to do with you twice. no normal person should be basing their entire system of beliefs on one person, having her name cut into your thigh, one day saying how perfect she is and that you hate her and wish she would just kill herself the next, not feeling a scrap of positive emotion when im not talking to her, not giving a shit about friends i’ve had longer than her just because its her, having unfair expectations for my friends and even when they arent met feeling unwanted causing me to snap and hurt her and myself, purposely finding people to lead on just to make myself feel scarce to her, missing her every moment of the day and panicking when she isnt available at every waking moment and calling her the worst person ive known, crying and begging for her to just not leave me alone again every night for three weeks just to not care about her the next, sleeping through days, not being able to eat for nearly two weeks because she stopped talking to me.
i cant do that to the people i love so fucking much. im sorry but i refuse that. id rather be miserable than do that to k and a and p and m and n and everyone else. i just cant. she just doesnt understand what i mean by intense.
Text
I just read the first chapter of Concordia (by ccainao3)
it is 3:40 am
I have to wake up for dnd in four-ish hours
why do I always start fics that I know will rock me to my core by thinking it’ll just be a LiGhT bEdTiMe StOry……………….
Text
i was grumbling to myself about how my neck hurts before i realised that ive been embroidering with my neck nearly in fucking… 90° in the past half an hour or so
Text
rant:b
lowkey have no fucking idea what the fuck to dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i have to do 3 projects for my exam sorta type thingggggggggg and i use photographs and my cameras charger isnt here yettttt it comes next weeekkkkk
Text
should i link my completely unfinished toyhouse right now or should i wait till i’ve at least uploaded ONE character
Text
hello fellows
tumblr .i dont ever post on here i just beat grand thef auto diamond casino heist it took For Ever fuuuuck fuck fuck fuck but i beat it. but also it BARELY EVEN GAVE ANY FUCKIN MONEY ~$900,000 but .With all the costs +50/50 split with guy i was doing it with we each only got like $300,000 afterwards because of the costs FUCK THIS FUCK ASS HEIST. to be fair we also went loud so we had less time to get money but THATS BESIDES THE POINT
Text
” Dissolve me in your gaze, I don’t want to let you go. Please, leave me scars. Please, hurt me so that not a single drop of me remains.
Let me drown in you. “