Beta reading a manuscript and suddenly realizing the villain actually has the most logical motivation in the whole book.
Me in the feedback doc:
“Have we considered that the villain might… be right?”
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The Others
By yours truly: Ami
A/N: Hello, this is my first post and story on here, and would greatly appreciate it if you could give me all feedback and tips to improve my writing skills, which are currently quite lacking. Please and thank you!
Description: There is always a time when one has to make the toughest decision of their life. This story is an “illustration” of all the decisions Korie Dynes had to make in his life… and what he had to sacrifice for it.
Chapter one, Part 1:
On September 3, 1821, it was a quiet Tuesday evening in a small village in Memramcook, Canada. The only sounds were those of birds chirping in the sky as they flew above, and the echoing of cicadas through the woods. The faint scent of freshly baked bread lingered in the air for those still wandering through the village. Whispered conversations filled the air as a group of young kids ran through the wet grass, dampening their clothes, and women gathered herbs, berries, and mushrooms throughout the forest. The smell of wet logs was prominent the deeper you went. There were men and their sons sneaking deep, deep in the woods, trying to hunt for their next meal. Deer scurrying away as the men approached, squirrels hiding high in the trees, hoping they weren’t chosen as their next target. Rabbits cowering under trees and bushes, staying as still as they could while trembling like a leaf despite the urge to flee. Suddenly, yells are disrupting the peace. Everyone outside freezes, and people previously in their homes peek through their open windows, trying to see what’s happening. The Gossips gather around the commotion and nosiness radiating from their person. “What’s going on?” someone in the crowd asks the person next to them. “I’m not sure.” They mumble as they go on their toes, trying to get a better look. There are men in dark suits—well-made from the looks of it—holding a bleeding person down, their head pushed into the ground, allowing no one to see their face. A woman near the front gasps in terror, “Oh my lord! That’s the Fitzrold kid!” She exclaims when she peers at his face, and everyone around her breaks out into murmurs of shock. “That can’t be right, that boy is an angel! He could do no wrong.” Several people in the crowd erupt into protests. “All of you shut up!” one of the more imposing suited men yells, effectively shutting them up. “ I will say this only once. This young man attacked my colleagues and me while out doing our errands, ordered by our master, when this ruffian punched Ken right across the face.” The man says matter-of-factly, anger evident in his words, and all the people gathered look at one of the men who is, in fact, harboring a black bruise on the left side of their face. All the people gathered around gasp in disbelief. I mean, how could they believe that their precious neighbor just attacked someone for no reason? “You must have done something wrong! That’s why he must’ve attacked you!” a man yells through the crowd, eliciting agreements from almost all of the villagers. They all start to advance on the men in the dark suits, ill intent evident in their eyes. “Get away from my men!”…
To be continued
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I left that hint in the teaser mainly to signal to readers that I’m not going to bait you into a bad ending just to toy with your emotions. Whichever path wins, it will lead to an ending that feels worthy of the buildup I’ve been working toward. I’ve mentioned this to a few people already, but I wanted to say it here too: feel free to follow your heart when voting in the poll. From my side, I’m genuinely happy with both versions of the story, and who knows… maybe my beloved readers will get to see both sides of the coin.
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Oh thats Jackie! its my punk patch jacket! its only hollister cause it was my first one and i didnt know about how shitty a lot of brand name clothes are made lol
i have some progress pics of it over the years if you wanna see! :D
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oh no 😭 that definitely explains why I was picking up on some angry/jealous spouse energy, seems like if you did decide to pursue him there’d be a pretty messy love triangle situation. Although it’s good you’re respecting their relationship, that’s the right thing to do! Who knows, if it’s meant to be it often has a way of just happening, even in ways you wouldn’t expect. Thanks for the review and the update, always super appreciated!
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Hey readers I have a question…
Just curious. Also do you like polls?
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Thank you so much for your feedback, I truly appreciate it! And blessings to you too lovely 🥹💌
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omggg im so glad that you loved it, it was a lot of fun to do and your fs sounds amazing!! thanks so much for writing such a detailed review and i loved your gif lolol. that’s how i felt seeing your ask and hearing your movie recommendation too.
thanks for the detailed feedback, i was so happy reading that my reading was able to make you feel happy. also thanks for the warning ab the movie lol, i’ll probably still watch it js cuz i’ve been needing a good cry. i hope u have a lovely rest of your year <33
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I wrote this recently and was wondering if i could get some feedback on it !!
Drowning
I look into the water. My head is thumping as if it’s my heart. I see a reflection, it’s not me. Whoever it is -whatever it is- stares back at me with some kind of uncanny determination. A shiver runs down my spine. I can’t look away. Why can’t I look away? A frown sits on its face, growing by the second. I blink. It’s gone. No, it’s still here, just not where it was. I can feel its eyes boring into the back of my head. I can’t take my eyes off the water. A drop of water falls from above, sending a soft ripple across the surface. Another raindrop again in front of my face. I close my eyes. A drop splashes onto my forehead and drips past my eye into my hair. I open my eyes. There it is again. No, not it, me. My face is peering down from the bank with that same expression. I can feel the water in my lungs. Blinking is impossible now. I take one last look down and lunge forward. I push myself deeper into the water. There is no splashing, no struggle, no screaming. Only a scalding heat burning in my chest as I fall down, down, down.
i’m sorry if it seems morbid lol.
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Rope sessions tying multiple people… New York City, Paris and Berlin.
Feedback from Ukrainian dancer Anna after a double rope session:
It was genius. I felt so many things. I felt like I was in the belly of my mother, and I felt a lot of pleasures. I was extremely peaceful and relaxed. It felt like I had done something in nature. (…) Then in the 2nd session when you tied me up together with your partner Kiki, in a close embrace and suspended us. You were kissing her tenderly while I was tied with her, and it was a sensation of magic. Really, I don’t have any words. It was magnificent. Never in my life i felt so close to the ‘love between 2 other people’. It was unique to witness it so closely. I can say that I tasted the love that you 2 are sharing. When I got home, I was in a sensation of flying. (…) Thank you Alexandre. »
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Hi @111vicky😳🤗 I am good, just busy with online courses👌 Sorry for responding late to your feedback😅 Thank you so much, I am so glad you enjoyed the reading💕🥰 Yes tech fields are highlighted, but it could also mean working a tech company or even digital business, who knows👀
Wishing you lots of blessings💅🙏💜💫🦋
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Hi @fvaelynx 🤗 Sorry for responding late to your feedback😅 Thank you so much, I am glad it resonated💕🥰 Those are good choices🤌 Trust your intuition, soon you will find out🙌
Sending you a lot of blessings💅🙏💜💫🦋
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Thank you so much for taking the time to provide such a detailed feedback.
I was definitely picking up on some self image issues when I did the reading and that effecting you relationship with your partner if you have one or potential partners. Without getting into to mich detail on a public reading it felt like there was this push/pull energy with your relationships in terms of them seeing the physical beauty you possess and trying to encourage you to embrace it, and you getting uncomfortable with that and pulling away or distancing yourself, potentially even ending the relationship because of it.
So your reply was definitely giving me confirmation as well that I was reading your energy correctly. I am so happy to hear this reading resonated and helped and again thank you so much for taking the time to provide such a detailed feedback. I hope you have an amazing day 🙂.
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Client Success Story. Grateful words from Sandeep ! 😊⭐
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Hi there! Thank you so much for dropping by with such a sweet message 🥹
I knooow, it’s crazy. This fic has been going on for 3.5 years atp and I feel like I’ve grown so much alongside it, both as a human being and writer. So yeah… feeling equal parts excited and nervous to reach that finish line.
As for planning acts / chapters… I’m honestly not the best - in fact, I would argue that planning might be my biggest weakness, haha, but I’m more than happy to give you my 2 cents on the topic!
Personally, a lot of the writing advice out there (like having scene by scene outlines) have never worked for me, so I’d say it really depends on the way your brain works. For me, there’s specific scenes I come up with while daydreaming + I know the ending of my story, which helps me work towards creating a rough skeleton, but I very much plan per act (basically, my outline document is a bunch of question marks + things I’m working towards/am excited to write, hah, and then I add as I go). I very much figure some things out as I’m writing (which is why editing is such an integral part of my writing process).
In this way, Act 2 was the hardest one to plan for me bc there was so many worldbuilding elements I had to include, which was a challenge bc I’ve literally never written something of this magnitude, lol, and I didn’t want it to feel boring or at the detriment of the characters, you know? Arc 3 will be a lot less dense in that way.
So yeah, I’d say following what feels right to you is the most important. That and having fun with your story, ofc! Hope this helps <3